I had to try. If I had my phone, I’d text her right away to tell her how much I still cared. It was torture to know that just seconds ago she’d been so close, and I’d been unable to put my arms around her and hold her to my chest. I would’ve loved to have run my fingers through her hair; to tell her I wasn’t going anywhere. But would she have let me? Just because she showed up didn’t mean she wanted to get back together with me. Maybe she’d only come as a friend. The thought tortured me.
Would I ever get her back?
16
Destiny
I turned from Isaac’s room with a heavy heart. I was such a fool for coming. A sob escaped as I turned the corner. Evan was sitting in a waiting room next to a large fish tank filled with tropical fish. There was some kind of news show on the TV.
He took one look at my tear-stained face and said, “Are you okay?”
I shook my head and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.
“What happened? Did Dr. Robinson say something rude to you? If he did, I’m giving him a piece of my mind.”
“No,” I whispered. “It was Isaac.”
“What do you mean?” Evan asked. “What did he say to you?”
“He… he told me to go away,” I said in a small voice.
Hannah emerged from the hall. “Why did you leave so soon?”
Evan studied my tear-stained face with compassion and turned to Hannah. “Isaac sent her away.”
“What? Why would he do that?” Hannah asked, anger seeping into her words.
“Because…” I said in a broken voice. “Before the wreck. We got in this big fight. I told him I wanted to break things off.”
“Oh, my gosh. Why didn’t you tell me?” Hannah asked.
“I was going to, but then you called me about the wreck and my problems just didn’t seem that important anymore.”
The elevator doors opened, and Aspen stepped out with Sydney, Will and a bunch of their preppy friends. They carried bags and drinks from Smokey Bones like they were planning a casual barbeque in their backyard instead of heading to a hospital room.
Aspen’s eyes fell on me, and she stiffened. “When did she get here?” she shrilled with a look of revulsion on her face.
“Oh, that’s just annoying. Maybe if we ignore it, it’ll go away,” Sydney said, referring to me like I was an irritation like a rash or a fruit fly buzzing around her face.
Aspen angled her body away from us and muttered under her breath, but I still caught her words, loud and clear. “That’s the thing. She won’t. It doesn’t matter what I do, she keeps coming back like a disease.”
Something inside me snapped. I couldn’t take one more snotty word from her. Not one more.
“What is your problem, Aspen?”
She turned to look at me, eyebrows raised like she hadn’t expected me to challenge her.
“If you have something to say to me, say it to my face,” I said.
“Excuse me?”
“Why do you even care if I’m with Isaac? You have Will. Shouldn’t that be good enough for you?”
“Just because Isaac and I aren’t together doesn’t mean I don’t still care about him.”
“You don’t care about him or his soul. Admit it. Aspen, you cheated on him. With his best friend. Y’all are the worst friends a guy could ever ask for. They reserve a special place in hell for people like you.”
I was on a roll. “And then! You put on this huge act like you’re worried about his salvation. You don’t care one bit about his soul. You tossed him aside, but you don’t want anyone else to have him either. This whole ‘save Isaac’ thing isn’t about saving him. This is you throwing a tantrum because he moved on. Well, guess what? As long as he wants me, I’m here for him. You might as well face it. You ruined your chances with him the day you shoved your tongue down his best friend’s throat. And let me tell you. That was the worst choice you’ve made in your life because he is… the most… amazing guy I’ve ever met.” I choked out my last words. Had I made the worst choice in my life, too by giving him up? Had I ruined everything? Was it too late to convince him to come back to me?
The elevator doors opened, and a nurse wheeled a patient out in a wheelchair.
I held the door open with my arm and motioned for Hannah and Evan to follow.
When we were all on the elevator and the doors were closing, I heard Aspen say, “Who does she think she is?”
17
Destiny
I was alone in my room. Olivia was on a school trip. It was past midnight, but I couldn’t sleep. Isaac had been out of the hospital for two days, but I hadn’t heard a word from him. Was he still grounded from his phone or had he told his dad we’d broken up, had his phone, and had moved on? I pulled open my nightstand drawer and took his hat out. I brought it to my face, but his smell had faded. I shoved it onto my head, remembering the first time I’d ever worn it. Aspen had looked so furious.
Then I had a terrifying thought. What if she had gotten to him? Was he with her? Maybe that why he wasn’t trying harder to contact me.
A small tap sounded on my window. Dude. That was freaky. Maybe it was just the wind knocking a tree branch against my window.
What if my confrontation in the waiting room had backfired? I could have encouraged her to try to get him even harder. If she were smart, she would. He was such an incredible person. Pointing that out to her wasn’t my brightest moment.
I’d lost him. It was over, and I only had myself to blame.
A second tap sounded against the glass, this time a little louder. I froze. Then two more taps in rapid succession. I pulled the cord on the blinds and gasped.
In the darkness, a face appeared in my window. I used the light from my cell phone to reveal Isaac with a boyish grin on his face. I rocked back on my bed in astonishment.
Isaac rapped on the window, this time as though to say, “hey, you gonna open up, or what?”
I lifted the window, grateful Olivia wasn’t home.
“What are you doing here?” Was that all I could say to him? He’d gone through a lot of trouble to see me.
“It’s nice to see you, too,” he said with a smirk.
“How did you get here?” I asked. Was he un-grounded?
The tinkling sound of metal-hitting-metal came as he dangled something from his fingers. “I swiped my keys from Dad’s room while he was asleep. After checking about thirty times to see if you read my Facebook message, I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“You sent me a Facebook message?”
“It was the only way I had to communicate with you,” he said. “We didn’t really get the chance to talk in the hospital, and I wanted to let you know that no matter how long it took, I would still wait for you.”
“I wish I’d read it. I’ve been worried.”
“You were worried?”
“I thought you were having second thoughts,” I said in a quiet voice.
He glanced off to the left, toward Michael’s bedroom window. “Do you want to go somewhere safer, so we can talk?”
My breath caught. Sneak out? It was like the retreat with Hannah all over again—but on steroids. If Hannah were here, what would she do?
I smiled with reckless abandon. “Help me get this screen off.”
My heart thumped as he helped me remove the screen. This was the most rebellious thing I’d ever done, but after the suffering I’d been through the past two days, there was no way I could stay away from him.
When the screen was gone, I swung my legs over the windowsill, and Isaac placed his hands around my waist, lifting me down like I weighed no more than a small child.
With our fingers intertwined, he led me around the corner of the house through the moonlight. When we came to the usual spot where he parked, his truck wasn’t there.
“Where’s your truck?”
“I didn’t want the engine to wake anyone, so I parked it further away.” When we reached it, out of view of the house, I wrapped my arms around his per
fect body and breathed in sandalwood.
He brushed the hair back from my face, rested his forehead on mine, and groaned. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” I said in a hushed tone. “Isaac… I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you. I need you to know something. Walking away from you on that soccer field was cowardly and stupid. I let the world get between us, and I shouldn’t have.”
For a few seconds, he didn’t move or speak. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?” I whispered.
He brought his lips to mine in a tender kiss that felt like a promise. A really good promise. He tangled his fingers in my hair and pulled me closer to him, deepening the kiss.
He pulled away. “Does that answer work for you?”
I bit my lip. “Um, yeah, I’m good with that.”
He opened my door and helped me inside. I turned back and saw him grinning at me in the glow of the dome light. He wore the same boyish smile he’d had outside my window.
“What?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing. You’re just cute in your pajamas, that’s all.”
“What?” I looked down at my pink sheep pajamas, the same ones I’d been made fun of for wearing at the retreat. “Oh, snap!” I’d been so distraught when he showed up I hadn’t even thought to change.
He released my hand and jogged around the truck to the driver’s side. Climbing into his seat, he twisted the keys in the ignition.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
He took a left out of my driveway and drove toward the mountains behind my house.
“I wasn’t sure you’d go anywhere with me tonight,” he said.
“Well, you kicked me out of your hospital room and then didn’t call to explain for two days.”
“Destiny, I lost you because of my dad’s big loud opinions before, and I didn’t want to give him another chance to push you further away. I guess I accomplished that all on my own this time.”
“It’s okay. I forgive you,” I said. “You were only trying to protect what was left of our relationship.”
Isaac took my hand and brought my palm to his lips. He kissed it and curled my fingers over the spot where his lips had touched like that simple action would somehow preserve the kiss there forever.
Five minutes later, he flipped on his right blinker and turned onto a gravel road that led up the side of the mountain at a steep incline. When we reached the top, the trees thinned, but there weren’t any houses around. “What is this place?”
“This is my land.”
“You have your own land?” I sputtered.
“Yeah, when my grandpa died, he left it to me. He always wanted to build a dream house up here because the view is gorgeous, but life and financial trouble got in the way, so he never did. One day, I’ll have to bring you back up here during the day to show you how beautiful it is. You can see green wooded hills for miles. One of my goals in life is to fulfill my grandpa’s dream and build a house up here for my future family.”
Good thing it was so dark because my jaw was hanging open. It was one of the most romantic things I’d ever heard Isaac say. I didn’t feel comfortable commenting on his plans with his future wife, so I said, “Why didn’t your grandpa leave it to your dad?”
“When he died, they weren’t on speaking terms, and when the will was read, it was revealed that he wanted me to have it.”
“Wow, I bet it was awkward for your dad.”
“Meh. It’s his own fault for being such a jerk.”
Isaac swung open his door, and his feet crunched onto the gravel. My door opened, and Isaac leaned in front of me to retrieve something from the floorboards. It was a green plaid blanket I hadn’t noticed was at my feet. He tucked it under a muscular arm and took my hand with the other to help me step down from the truck.
When he shut the door, the dome light faded, leaving us in darkness. The outlines of tall hardwoods stood like dark sentinels against the night sky, protecting us from the hatred in the world.
He led me by the hand to a grassy spot and untangled his fingers from mine. Removing the blanket from under his arm, he unfolded it by snapping it open and letting it flutter to the ground. After lowering himself to the blanket, he rolled onto his side and patted the spot next to him. I curled my body against the protection of his warm muscled torso, and he repositioned onto his back so my head rested on his shoulder.
He pointed upward. “See? This is why I like to come up here at night.” I looked up and gasped. Numberless tiny specks of light covered the night sky, accented by a sliver of a moon suspended high above us.
“It’s beautiful.” Since I lived far from town, the stars were bright by my house, but nothing like this.
He took my hand and traced circles around the soft spot where my thumb connected to the rest of my fingers. His beautiful face was serious. “I can’t tell you how happy I was when you showed up at the hospital the other night. It gave me hope that it wasn’t over between us. I figured if you cared enough to come see me you were more open to working things out.”
I swallowed a deep intake of the cold night air and released it. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been stronger for you.”
Isaac’s thumb stopped swirling on my hand. His silence spoke volumes.
“I hurt you, didn’t I?”
He looked away from me, the raw pain still clear there.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.
He stared off into the distance at the city lights below.
“I’m sorry, too.” His expression was so beautiful and so conflicted. “I was dealing with a lot of confusion during that conversation in my dad’s office.”
“I can imagine. I felt pretty confused, too. I needed some space to sort my thoughts out.”
“As hard as it was for me, I can respect that. I would rather you take some time away from me to figure it out than hide your feelings, only to end up dumping me, anyway.”
Silence hung between us for a moment. “Something amazing happened tonight,” Isaac said.
“What happened?”
“I was eating dinner with my family, and they were talking about the car accident and it wasn’t adding up. Piece-by-piece, my memories started coming back to me.”
“They did?” I propped myself up on my elbow, so I could get a better look at him as he spoke. “That’s so great!”
“Yeah, it should have been.” His face darkened.
“I can see how it would be scary to remember that.”
Isaac shook his head. “That was bad enough, but it wasn’t what upset me.”
“What do you mean?”
“We didn’t get into a wreck because of the rain.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We were driving home, and my dad demanded I break up with you.”
“Yeah, I kind of expected that response.”
“Me too. So I was ready for him. I was firm with him and told him ‘No way.’”
“Heck yeah,” I squealed.
“You know, it’s really hot when you do that.”
“Do what?”
“I dunno—get all giggly. I’ve seen you do it before, and it’s the cutest thing ever.”
“Aww.” I ran my fingertips over the back of his hand and then said, “Go on with your story.”
“When I told him I went to church with you, he slammed on the brakes and refused to move until I promised to break up with you.”
“What?” I squeaked and sat upright on the blanket. “Like in the middle of the road?”
“Yeah, it was in the middle of the road. The rain was pouring, and no matter how I yelled for him to get out of the road, he wouldn’t move.”
“What? He’s insane!”
“Seriously!” Isaac said, pulling up to a sitting position and looking back at me with wide eyes. “That’s what I told him!” He leaned forward onto his hands. “But it didn�
�t make a difference. He kept demanding that I break up with you.”
“You should have told him yes so you wouldn’t get killed.”
“No!” he said. “I would never do that.”
“I’m not worth your life.”
“That’s debatable.”
“I never would have been able to live with myself if I’d known our relationship was responsible for your death.”
“No. My idiot father would have been responsible.” Isaac scowled into the dark trees.
“You should have at least said you would to pacify him, so you wouldn’t die.”
“That’s not how I operate.”
“So what happened next?” I asked.
“Eventually, a car came around the bend and rear-ended us.”
“I can’t even imagine how horrible it must’ve been.”
“Oh, it got worse,” Isaac said. I knew what was coming, but I also knew he needed to talk it through. “The collision pushed us into oncoming traffic. The last thing I remember was headlights coming toward us. I could be at the bottom of the ravine right now. My dad tried to kill me,” Isaac said. “He tried to kill me. He knew what he was doing. And it was all because of his hatred over Mormons. Well, you know what? I’m done with it. He’s insane.”
“But you were protected,” I pointed out. “It wasn’t your time to go, or you wouldn’t be here with me right now.”
“You’re right. I’m lucky to be alive.”
I caressed my hand down his cheek and across the stubble of his jawline, and as I did, gratitude swelled in my chest.
Isaac sat still on the blanket beside me. “Destiny,” he breathed. “Come closer to me.” He stretched out on the blanket again, drawing me against his chest. I rested my head on the hollow of his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me. With his other hand, he ran his fingers down my arm. “You know how you were witnessing about Jesus in my dad’s office?”
My breath caught. “Yeah,” I said. It had been such a powerful experience for me.
A Bolder Version of Me (The Destiny Clark Saga Book 3) Page 9
