Flawed: A Love Letters Novel

by Kristen Blakely

  She broke the silence. “Thank you for giving me a ride back.”

  “How much longer will you be in Fort Lauderdale?”

  “Just through the end of the week. Four more nights.”

  “And then?”

  “Back to Los Angeles, I suppose, or home to New Hampshire. I haven’t decided.”

  He nodded. “It’s good to have choices.”

  She hadn’t quite thought of it that way before, but he was right. She had parents who would welcome her home and a brother who would give her a place to crash, no questions asked. It seemed like a small thing, but it wasn’t; she knew that.

  He asked, “Did you enjoy the party?”

  “What I saw of it? Yeah.”

  “Everyone I spoke to raved about your drinks.”

  “It’s just a small thing I learned how to do.”

  “That small thing was the heart of a great party.”

  “Yeah, I suppose.” She flicked a glance at him. “I never thought much of it, and to be honest, until tonight, I would have been quite happy never knowing it. Seemed like a useless party skill, you know, like tying a knot in a cherry stem with your tongue.”

  “Some people might say it’s not a useless skill.”

  “Bartending?”

  “No, the cherry thing. Aren’t those people supposed to be better kissers?”

  Ariel snorted. “You believe that?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never been able to do that cherry-knot thing.”

  “I can tie it in under ten seconds.”

  Jake nodded slowly and gave her a sideway glance. “We should test out that theory.”

  Her heart thumped rapidly. “We should.”

  Instead of pulling into the driveway of the Ritz-Carlton, he parked a block away. His face was partly shadowed. “I’ll walk you the rest of the way.”

  She nodded.

  He stepped out of the car and walked around to the other side to open the door for her. She stepped out into the delicious heat of his proximity. Ariel inched away from the door to allow it to close behind her, but did not step away from the car. “Time to test the theory.”

  “Of course,” he murmured. He lowered his head. For a moment, his breath teased her parted lips.

  “I’m waiting,” Ariel whispered. For you.

  He leaned forward slowly, pushing her back against the car. Their lips touched.

  The muscles of his biceps supporting him on either side of her head corded. His erection was a hard bulge, pressing against her thigh. His heartbeat raced, the rapid thump evident against the sensitive curve of her breasts. His entire body was taut.

  Which made the kiss all that more amazing—slow and sensual; a teasing exploration touched with tenderness. It turned her insides into liquid heat. She sank into the kiss because he made it easy for her to surrender. His warmth surrounded her. His strength protected her. Oh, God, that aching sigh couldn’t possibly have come from her.

  She was unsteady on her feet when he broke the kiss and pulled back slightly.

  Her eyes fluttered open. “You wouldn’t be able to knot a cherry stem in sixty minutes.”

  “Oh?” His deep baritone was husky. “Perhaps you’d like to show me how you’d knot a cherry stem in ten seconds.”

  She seized his face between her hands and kissed him. Her jerky, frantic movements were laced with urgency as she ground that wet, aching need between her thighs against his arousal. Their tongues tangled in a breathless, ravishing kiss. He gave as good as he got, matching her speed and her need until her head spun. She broke the kiss first. Breathing hard, she stared at him. “Is it a tie?”

  He shook his head. “I can’t decide. Perhaps another try, and I could up the stakes.” His lips were on hers before she could ask what he meant.

  Oh, God. Another slow, sexy kiss. He was going to drive her mad. Her mind sank into a blissfully, unthinking state. She could have sworn she was floating, but she jolted, stiffening when his hands glided down the side of her sundress.

  He pulled his lips away from the kiss to whisper into her ear. “Do you dare?”

  “Dare what?”

  “Trust me.”

  She flicked a quick glance around. At nearly two in the morning, few people wandered the streets, and certainly not this particular side street, but they were outside the car.

  The flutter of his breath against her ear teased her and sent shivers down her spine. “Have you ever come in public?”

  She sucked in a deep breath and wondered why she got even wetter. Could she possibly be turned on by the thought of Jake taking her in full view of the hotel lobby?

  A ragged sigh tore out of her. She braced herself against the car, her legs spread.

  He smiled against her cheek moments before he claimed her mouth again.

  The brief moment of tension passed as she eased into the kiss. One of his hands cupped her buttocks and the other slid under her skirt to glide up against her thigh. His fingers brushed against her thong. She shuddered at the electric thrill of pleasure that shot through her.

  The wickedness of what he was doing to her in public only heightened each tingling sensation.

  “You’re already wet,” he murmured. He eased her panties aside, and slid his fingers against her slick folds.

  Ariel sucked in her breath and pushed her hips against his hand, demanding more.

  “Hold on to me.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him claim her mouth again in a mercilessly slow, breath-stealing kiss while his fingers teased and stimulated her most sensitive parts, invading her, penetrating her. Her breath caught. Her nipples hardened and peaked into painful nubs that she rubbed against the thin layer of her cotton sundress pressing against his shirt. The relaxing signals from the languorous kiss collided with the viciously fast and unrelenting electric shocks of pleasure rising from between her spread legs.

  Her brain short-circuited. An orgasm crashed over her like a wave.

  He swallowed her gasp as he deepened the kiss, his tongue caressing hers as if he had all the time in the world while his fingers wreaked sensory havoc beneath her skirt. She had barely enough time to draw another breath when his other hand cupped her breast and tweaked her nipple. The fingers of his other hand plunged deep into her.

  The burst of pain and pleasure shoved her over another crest of ecstasy even before she had come down from her first. For a moment, the world behind her eyes went black and the distant sounds of the night vanished into a vacuum.

  External sensation returned slowly, together with the sound of Jake’s low chuckle. His arms supported her. “Are you all right?”

  “Mmmm…” It was the most complex word…sound…she could manage in that moment.

  “It almost sounds like a yes.”

  Oh, most certainly a yes. She would have said so except that her mind was fuzzy.

  He glanced over at the Ritz-Carlton. “As soon as you think you can stand, I’ll take you back to your hotel.”

  Oh, yes. Stand.

  She pushed away from his car. Her legs were unsteady, but he supported her until he was certain she could stand on her own. With gentle hands, he straightened and smoothed down her dress; the unexpectedly gesture of tenderness seized her throat. His erection was a hard bulge in his pants; she reached down to cup him, but he caught her hand and guided it away from his body. He shook his head. “I’m too close, and I’ll be damned if you make me come in my pants.”

  She glanced at the hotel. Words rushed out of her. “You are five minutes away from being able to come in me.”

  A muscle twitched in his cheek. “I don’t carry condoms. I’ll have to find a store.”

  “Are you clean?”

  He nodded.

  “So am I, and I’m on birth control.”

  His eyes locked on her. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “No complications.” It was a statement as much as it was a question.

  “No complications,” he promised. “Thank Go
d.” He crushed her to him with a kiss that spun her thoughts right out of her head. Wow, he could do urgent and desperate as well as he could do slow and teasing. She ran her hand through his short hair, and as she stroked his head and his back, his kiss gentled once again into the slow, all-absorbing kiss of longtime lovers, always welcoming yet never in a hurry.

  Inexplicably, her throat closed up and tears stung her eyes. She deserved that kind of kiss, that kind of love, and she deserved it for a lifetime, not just for one worthless night.

  It’s not fair.

  She released her breath in a jagged sigh.

  The grip on his fingers against her hip loosened. “You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?”

  She jerked her gaze up to him.

  A muscle twitched in his smooth cheek. “You smile, laugh, and flirt with all the men, including me, but you do it automatically, like it’s part of your job. You’re not really a one-night stand kind of girl.”

  Ariel squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t know whether to be grateful or ashamed that he had slammed on the intimacy brakes she was still struggling to locate beneath her haze of raw sexual need mingled in with a desperate desire to feel wanted for who she was.

  He released her and took a step back. “I’m sorry. I pushed too hard. It’s just…when I’m with you, I have trouble thinking clearly.”

  “I…I’m sorry.”

  “You never have to apologize for backing out of a one-night stand.” He managed a rueful grin.

  She glanced down. His erection, contained by his denim jeans, looked large and painful.

  “It’s nothing I can’t handle on my own.”

  She flushed.

  Jake glanced at the hotel entrance, a mere fifty feet away. “Let’s just say goodbye here. No point tempting ourselves.”

  He tipped her chin up, and Ariel closed her eyes. She could smell herself on his fingers, a reminder of the ecstasy he had given her minutes earlier. His lips brushed against hers. She hadn’t planned on more than a simple farewell kiss—a light touch—but her lips parted automatically. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers lacing through his hair. His scent shot straight into her head—strong, sexy, all man. Her head spun, and she melted against him.

  Jake’s breathing roughened. His muscles tensed against her as he turned his head away and broke the kiss. His hoarse voice growled against her ear. “Run.”

  She took several steps back and stared at the man who stood by the car, his hands clenched into fists. His eyes burned into hers. The crazy attraction that had sizzled between them for days was now a raging fire. The wild, clawing need for him condensed into a burning ache, an emptiness, between her thighs. All he had to do was say one word and she would let him do anything to her, including take her on the car.

  Instead, he turned away.

  Her body screamed for sexual release; it begged for his—and only his—touch, but shock and disbelief held her breath until his car turned the corner and vanished from sight.

  Find a hunk. Check.

  Have an affair. Sort of.

  Screw his brains out. No, damn it, no.

  Noelle’s advice was just crazy. Ariel wasn’t emotionally capable of one-night stands. And now she had driven away the most compelling man she had ever met—the man who had had the strength she hadn’t had—the strength to step away.

  She stared at the now-empty parking spot. She was safe. He had kept her safe.

  So why did she feel like she wanted to cry?

  Jake slumped against the tiles of the shower wall. Water drizzled over his back and ran down his legs. Behind his closed eyes, Ariel writhed against a featureless scene. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips parted as breathy moans and tiny whimpers tore from her. He imagined her warmth, her tightness, the silken feel of her long legs wrapped around him, drawing him into her, pulling him closer.

  Closer…

  He grunted as he came hard. Semen spurted over his hand and then washed down the shower drain. Jake ground his teeth. He’d taken care of his immediate sexual needs, but frustration was a tight knot in the center of his chest. Damn it.

  Colin had warned him that Ariel was a tease.

  No, it wasn’t fair. Ariel wasn’t a tease, but she was confused, and that hadn’t been fair to him.

  Somehow, he had sensed her pulling away emotionally, even though physically, she kept moving forward. His heart sank. His mind resisted. Damn it. Ariel had invited him back to her room. She was a big girl; shouldn’t she have known what she wanted?

  But his conscience intervened, and that was the end of it.

  He’d done the right thing. He knew it without a doubt, but it was hard to find any comfort in that fact—not alone, not jerking off under the shower.

  No complications, she had said.

  Yeah, right.

  Ariel was as complicated as they came; a seemingly natural flirt who was actually shy; a valley girl and vapid socialite who could mix every drink in the book, and make up drinks not in the book; a woman who had spread her legs for him and allowed him to touch her intimately in public, yet emotionally shied away from him.

  She made no sense.

  He didn’t have time for women who didn’t make sense.

  He already had complications aplenty in his life

  He didn’t need her.

  But, damn it, he wanted her.

  Back in the luxury of her Ritz-Carlton suite, Ariel leaned against the headboard, her legs tugged up to her chest.

  She had taken a nice, long bath and brought herself off to a delicious climax, but it was so unsatisfying compared to what her imagination told her she could have had with Jake.

  She ground her teeth. It was his fault. If he had kept the pace fast and the emotions shallow, she would have happily gone along with them. She couldn’t drown in shallow water however fast the pace; there were no complications in shallow water, no complications with shallow men.

  But then he had made her feel tender and cherished. With his actions alone, he had reminded her that she deserved more than a one-night stand.

  He’d ruined it for her.

  Damn it.

  Worse than the knowledge that she’d given up a potentially mind-blowing one-night stand was the realization that she had sacrificed the opportunity to become friends with a potentially amazing man.

  Perhaps she couldn’t fix the former, but she still had time to amend the latter.

  Chapter 6

  The sun was scarcely a sliver on the horizon when Ariel crossed the street to the beach and found a comfortable spot on the low wall separating the beach from the sidewalk. She sipped from her cup of Starbucks coffee and hoped she wasn’t making a fool of herself.

  She saw Jake turn the corner and had time to brace herself, but as he approached, she noticed that he stared into the distance. The white wires of earbuds trailed from his ears. He was probably in some kind of runner’s zone; there was a good chance he would run past without noticing her.

  She jumped off the beach wall right in front of him.

  His eyes flared wide. He jerked to a stop but momentum carried him forward, and they both tumbled to the pavement. His arms wrapped around her, breaking her fall. The heat of his body, combined with his weight, pressed her to the ground, sending an uncomfortable tingle between her thighs.

  Wincing, he pushed to his feet and pulled her upright. He yanked the earbuds out of his ears. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, sorry.” She dusted herself off and hoped she didn’t look as embarrassed as she felt.

  “Anything broken? Scratched?”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  He frowned. “Why did you jump in front of me?”

  “I wanted to talk.”

  “And you didn’t want to try ‘hello’?”

  “You were zoned out. Didn’t think you would see or hear me.”

  Jake’s shoulders slumped as he sighed. “You’re probably right. What did you want to talk about? And how did you know I’d com
e by this way?”

  “I saw you yesterday morning from my hotel room.”

  His frown deepened, but he said nothing. He moved toward the beach wall and sat down.

  Ariel stared, aghast, at the blood trickling from the scrapes on both his knees. They stained the cuff of his socks crimson. “Oh my God, you’re hurt.”

  He shrugged as he glanced over his shoulder at his elbows. They were bleeding too. “Just scrapes. I’ll wash them off, tape them up. They’ll be fine.”

  “Come with me. I’ll clean them up for you.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think the Ritz will appreciate me dripping blood over their carpet. I’ll just rinse them off in the public bathroom. There’s one about half a mile that way. Meanwhile—” He smiled at her. “I’m not going to bleed to death. So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “I’m sorry about last night.”

  He shrugged. “Okay.”

  She blinked. “Okay? That’s it?”

  “My mother always taught me to ask twice and never presume.” His eyes met her briefly. “I have a sister, too, and if she were in your place, I would have wanted the guy she was with to back off.”

  “Are you always this nice?”

  “Forcing myself on undecided women isn’t about being nice or naughty. It’s just not done.”

  “You could have convinced me. You know that, right?”

  “Of course.” He nodded. “But for there to be no regret the next day, your head and your heart have to agree. I think you want me here.” He pointed at her chest. “But you’re not certain here.” He tapped the center of her forehead. “The no gets the veto.”

  “And you?”

  “Fortunately, men have only one decision point.” He looked down meaningfully at his lap.

  “But that head wasn’t calling the shots when you stepped away last night.”

  Jake shrugged.

  They lapsed into silence, but it was the easy, companionable stillness of two people, seated side by side, watching the rising sun.

  Ariel spoke first. “So, what did we decide?”

  “Were we suppose to decide something?”

  “Are the people who can knot cherry stems better kissers?”