by Adams, S. C.
“That was so funny!” Maggie says when we emerge from the theater. “I’m glad you chose the comedy.”
“I am as well,” I tell her. “I haven’t laughed that much at a movie in a long time.”
I take her hand in mine and lead her to the front of the cinema, where Stefan is to meet us in a few minutes.
While we wait by the curb, Maggie bites her lip nervously.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
She nods. “Yeah, sorry, just deep in thought. There’s… well, there’s something I have to tell you.”
Her eyes are clouded with worry. People think “we need to talk” is the worst phrase for a relationship, and I agree. It never ends well when your partner has something to tell you.
I brace myself for whatever Maggie has to say and cross my fingers she isn’t breaking up with me so early in our relationship. We may have only known each other for a couple of weeks now, but I’ve fallen hard for her already.
I’m not ready to let her go.
15
Maggie
This is our third date, but I’m afraid I might lose Sean for good if I admit what I have to tell him.
I’ve debated whether or not he needs to know. After three hours on the phone with Jenna, I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret. It wouldn’t be fair to Sean or to me.
“What’s going on, Maggie?” Sean asks. His voice is hoarse and laced with fear. Have I put him in this position? It’s my fault that he’s upset.
People are flowing from the cinema entrance. They watch us with interest as we stand there, Sean towering over me and clearly upset.
“Are you okay, miss?” one bystander asks. He glances between Sean and me.
“I’m okay, thank you,” I assure him. “It was nice of you to stop.”
Sean swallows and takes a step back, probably realizing he’s getting a little too close. He doesn’t even know what he’s angry about!
I tug on his arm when I notice Stefan approaching in Sean’s limo. “Maybe we should continue this conversation in private.”
“I’d really prefer to know what’s going on, Maggie. Are you breaking up with me?”
“No!” I shout. “Not even close. There’s just something you need to know, and it might make you angry.”
“Your evasion is making me angry,” he says, but he climbs into the waiting limo instead of trying to carry on the conversation on a New York City street. “Take us to the penthouse, Stefan.”
I bite my lip. “I really should be getting home.”
“No, you should be explaining. We can speak freely in my apartment.”
By “speak freely,” I assume he means yell. I’ve turned this whole thing into a much bigger deal than it needs to be. I feel like I need to diffuse the situation, but I don’t know how.
“Yes, sir,” Stefan says from the front. He closes the partition to give us privacy. The last few times I’ve been in Sean’s car, this has meant the two of us were going to be getting hot and heavy right here in the back seat. When we arrived at the theater earlier, we’d both had to adjust our clothes and pretend like we hadn’t been rounding third base during the ten-minute ride from my apartment.
Sean doesn’t make any move to kiss me this time, though. My head falls heavily against the tinted glass. Jenna would know what to do, but I can’t call her right now, obviously. I might be able to get away with texting her. Sean isn’t paying me any mind, so I pull my phone out quickly.
I started to tell Sean about the other night, and it turned into a big deal. Help! I send in a text to Jenna.
Her response is almost immediate. What do you mean?
I told him there was something I had to tell him, but then a lot of people showed up, so I haven’t told him yet, and he’s angry at me. What if he wants to break it off?
Sean had seemed genuinely worried when he thought I might be breaking up with him. Does that automatically mean he won’t kick me to the curb when he finds out what I have to tell him? I can’t be so sure.
Where are you now?
In the limo on the way to his apartment, I tell her. Then I add, I’ve never been in a guy’s apartment before.
I imagine Jenna’s tinkling laugh at my innocence. It takes a couple of minutes for her to text back this time, making me more nervous. Finally, her response comes through. That’s a good sign. You can talk privately and then have some much needed alone time where your parents can’t find you.
That possible scenario hadn’t crossed my mind. I’ve been so focused on this stupid, anti-climactic secret that I haven’t thought about what might happen when I share it with Sean. Surely, he won’t be very angry with me once he finds out. Then we’ll be able to…
I can’t think about that right now or I might jump into Sean’s lap in the back of this limo. It will be my first time if we do go all the way tonight. How much time do I have before I need to be home? My phone clock says it’s just after 9. My parents expect me home by 10:30 tonight. That doesn’t give us much time, but from what I’ve heard, an hour should be plenty.
Nervousness bubbles in my stomach, but it’s an excited nervousness. I want to end up in Sean’s bed tonight. It would be the perfect ending to a night that started off amazing and has gone south since then.
Sean is staring stubbornly out the driver’s side window. Whereas before, we couldn’t get close enough to each other in the wide backseat, now it seems we can’t get far enough apart. I turn back to my own window before he notices me watching him. If he wants to be angry with me right now, then so be it. It’s not like he’s wrong. I shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of needing to talk to him.
After a twenty-minute drive through traffic, Stefan finally pulls up to the curb outside of an uptown skyscraper.
“You live here?” I ask when I join Sean on the sidewalk.
“In the penthouse,” he explains simply. “That’s the top floor.”
I stop walking. “You can be mad at me, but don’t talk down to me. I know what a damn penthouse is.”
Sean sighs. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Once we get to my apartment, we can talk, and I won’t be angry at you anymore.”
I certainly hope that’s true. I’ve never been good at having people angry with me. I prefer to have everyone like me. That might stem from the fact that my sheltered life has kept me from forming meaningful relationships, so I seek them out from the people I’m around, no matter our compatibility, or lack thereof.
Is that what I’ve done with Sean? We’ve had a lot to talk about on our various dates. He got along really well with Jenna on our double date the other night. That must mean we have some level of compatibility, right?
Now I’m worried for another reason. If I keep this up, I might develop an ulcer. Imagine my parents’ reaction! They’d never let me leave the house again out of fear that it would stress me out too much. My already small level of freedom would become nonexistent.
I’m overreacting. When did I turn into a dramatic girl? Maybe this relationship is changing me in more ways than I realized.
Sean greets his doorman and leads me to the elevator. He presses a special button to bring us all the way to the top of the thirty-floor building. I have enough trouble living on the second story of our seventh floor apartment. I can’t imagine living so high off the ground! Though I bet the view of the city is incredible from up there.
“Here we are,” Sean says when we exit the elevator directly into his masculine apartment. The smell of leather hits me immediately. My thrift store shopping parents would never buy a leather couch unless it was used and probably on its last leg of life. Sean’s couch looks brand new, though it does appear well-worn.
“This isn’t what I expected,” I admit, taking in the apartment. Everything is dark and manly, but it’s not modern like I thought it would be. Jenna has shown me photos of the apartments she’s designed in this part of the city. They’re usually all straight lines and polished silver, not dead cows and black appliances. The more I
look around Sean’s apartment, the more it makes sense, though. Everything in this place screams Sean to me. “But it fits you.”
A laugh spills from his reluctant lips. “Thanks, I think?”
“Definitely a compliment. I can see you sitting on that couch, unwinding after a long day.”
“That’s where I unwound after I met you.”
I stare at a worn spot on the couch. That’s probably where Sean likes to sit. It has the best view of the large windows and his flat screen TV. “Was that a long day?”
“The longest,” he admits. “Because I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to see you again.”
“Are you sorry you did?”
Sean shakes his head. “Will I be later?”
“I hope not.”
“Then let’s talk,” he says. “After I pour us some wine.”
Wine sounds like a really good idea. While Sean prepares our drinks, I finish my visual tour of the penthouse. The blinds are drawn, so I can’t take in the city. Instead, I focus on the interior. To my left, there’s a wide hallway leading to two closed doors. One is probably Sean’s bedroom and the other the bathroom.
To my right is the kitchen and dining area. Even with the overhead lights on, everything in the kitchen looks dark. How does he cook in there with such terrible lighting? The appliances are probably more for show than anything else. Guys with a lot of money don’t have to cook for themselves. They either hire someone to do it for them or go out to eat.
“Do you like what you see?” Sean asks, startling me. He holds out a glass of white wine for me. “I know it’s not much…”
I can’t help but laugh. “If you saw the inside of my apartment, you’d know this is a lot. You could fit two of my apartments into this one. Including both floors.”
“It gets lonely, though,” he admits, “having this much space and no one to share it with.”
“It’s time to talk,” I say. His smoldering eyes fall, and I wish I could take back the words and get him to look at me like that again.
Before I can stop myself, I rush forward and kiss him. If he’s pissed at me after our talk, this might be my last chance for a while. I’m going to savor it.
Sean kisses me back passionately, and before I know it, I’m lying on the couch with Sean balanced above me, and we are decidedly not talking.
I giggle into his neck. “I didn’t expect that to happen. We really do need to talk.”
“I don’t think so,” he whispers, nibbling on my ear lobe. “I like what we’re doing just fine.”
The problem is, he might not like me as much in ten minutes. It would feel cheap to keep going, only to have my first walk of shame be through an expensive lobby. What will the doorman think of me? How many other women have been in my position?
I can’t let my thoughts spiral like this. I know Sean has had other women before me. We’ve talked about his past and decided it doesn’t matter. We’re here together now.
“Okay,” Sean finally says. He moves so that we’re both sitting on the couch. This position is far less fun but much more conducive to conversation. “Go ahead, then. Talk.”
I bite my lip. It shouldn’t be this hard to tell him! It’s not a big deal, I remind myself for the hundredth time.
“Well,” I begin. “You know my parents are crazy. Part of their craziness is that they want me to marry someone from their church.”
“Okay,” Sean repeats, this time slower.
I take a deep breath. “Well, they’ve been actively searching for the perfect suitor since I turned eighteen. Until now, they’ve been unsuccessful.”
Sean shifts away so that he can face me directly. “What do you mean, until now?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. My parents have picked out the guy they want me to marry. His name is Randall, and we went on a date a few days ago.”
Heat flickers in Sean’s eyes.
I think I might have been wrong about this being a big deal. Based on the look on Sean’s face, it’s a very big deal.
Maybe I should have been a little more careful about how I told Sean about Randall.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told him at all.
16
Sean
I’ve been perfectly celibate since I met Maggie, with the exception of our intense make-out sessions and those two times we hooked up in the dressing room. The point is, I’ve only been with Maggie for two weeks.
Now she tells me that she’s gone on a date with some other guy?
A guy that her parents approve of, too. Why is she bothering with me if she’s got the perfect guy on speed dial?
“Please say something,” she says meekly.
“I’m not sure what to say,” I admit. “Stefan will take you home.”
Her face can’t hide her surprise. What did she expect the outcome would be? I can’t be with someone who is seeing someone else.
“Sean, let’s talk about this,” Maggie begs. “You know how my parents are.”
The stories she has shared about her parents have been extreme. I must admit, it’s no surprise that they’ve attempted to hook her up with some guy from their church. What bothers me is that she actually went.
“You went out with another guy, Maggie. There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Technically, I didn’t go anywhere, Sean. Please, let me explain.”
Her eyes fill with tears. I have to look away, or I’ll scoop her up in my arms and never let her go. “Fine,” I say after a long silence. “Explain.”
She sighs heavily and wipes at her face. “My parents set the whole thing up, you have to believe me on that. I don’t want to see anyone but you.”
I do believe her, but that doesn’t make it okay.
“They invited Randall over for dinner. I had this whole plan to go out with him and tell my parents about how terrible it was so they’d finally back off!”
“You knew about this date long enough to come up with a plan, yet you never thought to tell me about it?”
Maggie bites her beautiful lip. I should be the one biting that lip! Oh, dear, did this Randall character kiss her?
I could kill him.
“That was my first mistake. I’ll admit to that, but please just listen to what I have to say.”
“Fine.”
I cross my arms over my chest so that she knows I’ll listen but I won’t be happy about it. Maggie may be naïve, but she can’t be so naïve that she would think dating multiple people is okay. Unless, of course, she thinks our relationship is open. We haven’t had a conversation about exclusivity. I assumed we were seeing each other and no one else, but maybe that was my mistake.
“So, my parents ruined that plan by inviting Randall for dinner and planning our date to be in front of them. They kept telling Randall what to say to me and giving him questions to ask. It was awful, but my parents thought it was fantastic. I’m sure they’re planning the wedding already.”
Maggie takes a second to breathe. I don’t think that was a great place to stop, since the only wedding Maggie should be thinking about is with me. I don’t even hate myself for the thought. It’s only been two weeks, but I can already see a forever for Maggie and me.
At least, I could before I found out she was seeing someone else.
“Randall wanted to see me again, but I shrugged it off. I haven’t spoken to him since then. It was barely a date, Sean, I swear. My parents were there!”
I sigh. “You know, that could be construed as a serious relationship. He has met your parents, and they genuinely like him. Isn’t that important to you?”
“Of course it is, but it’s not everything. I’ve spent my entire life doing what my parents wanted, what they expected. I’m done living to please them.”
“So, what? I’m your experiment? Your rebellious phase?” I yell. Maggie was right. This was not a conversation to have in public.
Maggie cries a bit harder. “That’s not what this is, Sean. You mean everything to me.”
/> “If that was true, you wouldn’t have had dinner with Randall!”
“You don’t understand!” she shouts. “They brought him to my house. I couldn’t just sit in my room. My mother would have dragged me out by my ear.”
I can’t sit by her anymore. I march to the window and throw up the blinds so that we have something more to look at than each other and my drab apartment. “You could have stopped it before it started. Why didn’t you tell your parents you were seeing someone already?”
Maybe that’s the real reason for my anger. She didn’t want her parents to know about me.
“That’s easier said than done,” Maggie says quietly. “I’m trying to get out from under their iron fists, but it’s not that simple.”
“I know,” I say. “But you’re ashamed of me. If you weren’t, you’d tell your parents I exist.”
She scoffs. “As if you’ve told your parents about me.”
She’s got me there. I haven’t told my parents that I’m seeing someone, but our situations are different. “I don’t live with my parents, Maggie. They live in England! It makes a lot more sense for you to tell your parents than for me to tell mine.”
“You can’t accuse me of being ashamed of our relationship if you won’t even tell your parents about me!”
“Fine!” I shout. I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Dad’s number. It’s two in the morning in England, but he’ll answer. He’s a night owl like I am.
After two rings, my father picks up the phone. “Is everything okay?” he asks immediately. “Why are you calling so late?”
“Sorry,” I say. “I just wanted to inform you that I have a girlfriend. Her name is Maggie, and I like her very much.”
My father’s confusion is clear in his prolonged silence. “Okay, son. That’s great.”
“It’s important to both of us that you know,” I tell him.
“Is she pregnant?”
My eyes widen. “No, of course not.”
