by M J Rutter
“What will you do?” he asked.
“I have had an amazing job offer in LA, so I will be accepting that, I guess.”
“No, you, you can’t go to LA, Jenna.” He snapped. “Don’t do this to me, please.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t afford not to work, I need a job and after my behaviour, I am lucky to have that.”
“You can’t leave me.” He frowned and sat beside me. “Is there anything I can say or do to change your mind?”
“I need a job, Cain. I have to work.”
“Yes, but LA?”
“LA is paved in gold, I am sure it will be fine.” I shrugged.
“But you haven’t given Dalton your resignation yet.” He checked.
“No, I just have to write it. As soon as I can get on my lap top I will send him an email.”
“Please, just don’t send anything yet, let me speak to him. Does he know you slept with the guy?” I shook my head, “Then it’s between us.” He said and stood from the seat. “I will be back in a couple of hours. Get some rest and don’t speak to anyone. I am not, will not let you leave.” He said and left the house.
I stared at the door, he wasn’t in love with me anymore and yet he took it badly and considered it that I was actually leaving him. Not just my job or the town, him. I was confused and in too much pain to even think about it. I rested my head back on the couch and closed my eyes. I don’t know if it was the pain meds or what, I just remember thinking that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too late for us after all, well, hoping anyway.
My phone rang out, echoing in the house, I jumped awake and sleepily stood from the couch.
“Hello?” I said.
“Jenna, its Turner, are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I lied.
“You were meant to call last night and let me know how you got on at work and when you didn’t I phoned your cell, why does the Seattle Police department have your phone?”
“I um, I was mugged last night on the way back to my car…”
I then explained what had happened and about my night in hospital. That I was home now and that I had told my boss I would resign. He wasn’t happy about me considering a job in LA. I took the phone to the couch and we talked for over an hour. Dana came to the phone to check I was drinking plenty of fluids and begged me not to go to LA. But I had to, I had no choice.
By the time the call ended, I needed more pain pills, so I went to the kitchen and got some more. I took them with water and went back to the couch. I pulled the throw over me as I began to shiver and felt light headed. I quivered under the cover and felt like I was going to throw up.
Someone knocked my door as my stomach erupted into my mouth. Holding my hand over my lips, I ran to the downstairs bathroom as the front door opened and Cain came inside.
“Jenna?” he frowned.
I barely made it over the toilet bowl before I threw up my lunch and coffee. As I rinsed my mouth, the door gently knocked.
“Jenna, are you okay?” Cain called through the door.
“Yes.” I said and stared at my battered and bruised face. I looked hideous. I pulled open the door. “I can’t stop shaking though.” I said with a shudder. “I am freezing.”
“It’s probably shock,” he said taking my hand and leading me back to the couch. He pulled the throw over my shoulders and turned off the air-conditioning. “I’ll get you some water.”
“Thank you,” I muttered. My body quaked and quivered and my teeth began to chatter.
When he returned, he sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his body. “Better?” he asked. I nodded and shuddered again. “I went to speak with Mr Dalton, he is very worried about you and has no intention of accepting your resignation.”
“You should stay out of it.” I said as I shook.
“I am not letting you leave your job. You can cut me out of your life and move on, you can see and go out with whoever you want, but I won’t let you quit your job and leave your home.”
“I haven’t c…cut you out offf my l…life.” I frowned. “You did that.” I stammered with the uncontrollable shaking. “I only wan..wanted to do the r…right th…thing.” I looked up to him, his face was so close. “I haven’t moved on,” I said as the shaking began to appease slightly. “How can I, when I am ssso completely and utterly in love with you?”
He turned to look at me, gazing into my swollen eyes, he blinked, a tear formed in his right eye, as he stared, not certain if he heard me right, “Did you just…?” I nodded my head. “I uh…”
“Its fine,” I said, the shaking had stopped. “I understand that you don’t feel the same now and I only have myself to blame for that.” I shrugged. “Still, I have said it now, so at least you know.”
“Can I ask how long you have felt like this?” he asked eventually.
“Ever since our first time. It felt so right, you felt so right and now I have screwed everything up and it’s too late. I just wanted you to know. You are an incredible man, Cain and I know that you will find…”
“Jenna, stop.” He snapped. “Just, don’t say another word.” I tried to move, I couldn’t stay in his arms, he so clearly didn’t want me anymore. As I tried to sit forward, he raised his hand and placed it against my sore face. Before I could say anything, he placed his lips on mine, gently, but firmly. He kissed me tenderly and I was once more, stunned.
Twenty
Our lips pressed together for the longest time, I didn’t want to move, but I had puked and felt bad for him. I pulled away from his mouth and pressed my head to his, as sore as it felt I didn’t care, Cain had kissed me, and I felt so relieved as he weaved his hand into mine and linked with my fingers. We just gazed into each other’s eyes, silently, hearing only our hearts beating. I wanted to ask if he was okay but feared my breath would disgust him.
Finally, he moved his head back, I sat up, still wrapped in his arm, his other hand knotted with mine, I looked away.
“Does this mean…?” I began.
“It means that my feelings have never changed, it means that I have finally heard the only words I have wanted to hear from you. I still love you, Jenna, I always have, and I always will.”
“But, Carter?” I turned to face him.
“You have your mistake and I have mine.” He smiled slightly. “It seems I shouldn’t be so trusting, when a girl says she has a room to rent and invites you over, it might not be what you think.”
“Sienna?”
“Yes,” he frowned. “I am sorry…,” he began, I couldn’t condemn him for doing the same thing I did.
“We’ve both made mistakes, they are yesterday’s news. Let’s forget about them and concentrate on us from now on.” I stated.
“I am more worried about getting you better.” He smiled slightly and went to kiss me again.
“I need to brush my teeth.” I frowned and stood from the couch. “Don’t go anywhere.”
“I won’t.” He promised.
I brushed my teeth, changed my clothes and sprayed on some perfume. By the time I had got down the stairs, he was in the kitchen.
“You promised not to go anywhere.” I called out.
“I am making you something to eat. You are not meant to take your meds on an empty stomach which is why you got so sick.” He called back.
I sat on the couch and waited for him to return. As he came back to the living room carrying a tray, he smiled warmly and for the first time since we had broken up, I saw that light in his eyes again. He placed the tray on my lap, it had two plates on it with grilled cheese on them.
“I know you just threw up, but I thought that might make you feel better.”
“Thank you.” I smiled slightly.
As we ate, we talked. I told him about my brother’s house and my nieces, how amazing Texas was and that I would love to show it to him one day. He told me about his job going so well and that Mr Dalton was very pleased with his work. How he came to get his car and
that his dad had given up on relationships for now. Jake had decided it was time to grow up. He said how well they were getting along now and I suppose that worried me, I tried not to let it show.
“Don’t worry about him, he wanted me to beg to get you back weeks ago. Said I was an idiot to allow you to break it off because of him. I am actually staying with him until I find somewhere else.” He explained.
“I must admit, when you went A.W.O.L. he came here and for the first time in years, it didn’t upset me to be talking to him. But it still feels weird.”
“I can live with weird.” He smiled and bit his sandwich.
“Cain, I am so sorry for what I have put you through. You have no idea the times I have claimed to be stupid.” I placed my hand in his. “I don’t know how you found it in you to forgive me, but I am grateful that you have.”
“Jenna, there is nothing to forgive. You needed some time and I understand that.” He said. “We rushed into everything, I appreciate that. All I needed was to hear those words from you, it’s all I hoped for and more.” He admitted. “So, any chance I could hear them again?”
I smiled, “Cain, I am in love with you.”
“And I am in love with you, Jenna.” He grinned and kissed me again.
“Ouch!” I hissed as he had pressed a little too hard on my cut lip.
“I’m sorry.” He said and pecked my nose. “I don’t know if there is anywhere on your face that doesn’t have a bruise or a cut.” He said pushing my hair away from my face. “You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever known though.” I smiled warmly and pressed the side of my sore face against his warm hand.
We stayed on the couch cuddled up to each other for the rest of the day. I didn’t want to be anywhere else. It was more than I could have hoped for and knowing I didn’t have to move to LA after all was a huge relief. I didn’t think Carter would ever speak to me again, it was a call I had to make, but dreaded. Cain and I had a chance now and I intended to make it work.
Cain stayed the night after calling his father and telling him he wouldn’t be home. He told him he was with me and would call him the following day. That night, we shared my bed and I slept while cuddled into his body. I had missed having him in my bed.
I woke still cuddled into him the following morning. My head felt better, but my face was still sore. I moved to try and get up and my muscles in my back burned.
“Ouch!” I hissed as I tried to sit up.
Cain sat up quickly, “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I need to pee,” I frowned, “but I can’t get up. I feel like I have been kicked by a horse.” He got out of bed and came around to my side to help me up. As I stood, I pulled my night shirt down.
“Gees, Jenna.” He gasped looking at my body. “You are black and blue all over your front.”
“It must be from where he pushed me over.” I frowned.
“The things I’d like to do to him.” He growled.
“The police have him, he is facing charges and will more than likely go to jail for what he did. So, at least we have that.”
“Yes, but, to hit a woman like that, that’s just wrong.” He sighed, “Your poor face.” He said placing his hand at the side of my head.
“I am okay, Cain. It could have been a lot worse if Kieran hadn’t stopped him, he had a knife.” I insisted. “At least I survived, right?”
“Mr Dalton said they have the attack on camera, he was calling the police to give it to them. He also said he was covering your hospital costs, so your insurance won’t be affected.”
“That was nice of him.” I said. “I really need to pee now.” I added and left the bedroom.
When I came out, he was already down stairs cooking bacon. It made my mouth water. I wrapped my robe around my sensitive and sore body and headed down to the kitchen.
“You take a seat, it’s almost ready.” He told me. I sat at the table and watched as he buttered toast and served the bacon and eggs.
After breakfast, I went up to my room to attempt to get dressed, but all I really wanted was a hot shower or a bath, I felt dirty. As I sat on my bed looking at my closet, I frowned, Cain came up to see if he could help.
“I can draw you a bath and help you in and out.” He said.
“I don’t think I…,” I began to protest.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.” He smiled.
“Yes, but not with my body looking so ugly.” I moaned.
“Jenna, it’s bruising, okay?”
“Okay.” I agreed with a nod. He left the bedroom and a few minutes later I could hear water filling the bath tub.
He helped me to undress and tried very hard to not look disturbed by my appearance. He then held my hand to steady me as I climbed into the bath tub. I felt embarrassed as my battle wounds covered the front of my body including my breasts. I sat in the water and could have cried at the sight of my skin; dark purple and red bruises ran the length of my legs and stomach. Cain washed my back with his hands and the fruity shower cream, it felt like a soothing massage on my sore skin. Deep and sensual, something I truly needed.
There was nothing sexual between us that day, I was too sore and Cain was afraid of hurting me as it seemed I didn’t have an unblemished part on my body. It certainly felt that way. As much as I craved to have his skin on mine, I had a lot more healing to do before I could even consider it.
He went home for a shower later that Sunday afternoon, while he was gone I got a call from the police to say they were returning my purse, keys and cell phone. They were also going to drive my car home to me which was a relief. Cain returned before they got there, but was happy to hear that I would at least get my things back.
He stayed again that night also as he didn’t want me to be left alone. Once again, he held me as I slept and I felt so safe in his arms. He had cooked roast beef for dinner and I couldn’t thank him enough for all he had done. It made me realize how something like this could mean that life alone would be almost impossible. I needed him and there was nothing wrong with that.
He left for work the following morning and kissed me goodbye at the front door. My body was healing and I was beginning to feel more human again. He had made me a salad for my lunch and left it in the fridge and wouldn’t go until I had eaten the toast he had made me so that I could take my pain meds.
Just after twelve he called to see if I was okay.
“I am, I was just about to eat my salad.” I smiled.
“Good, how is the pain today?”
“Better, in fact, I feel pretty good.” I replied. “How is work?”
“Busy, getting ready for Sophie’s release next week. She sends you well wishes, by the way. In fact, everyone does, news has spread fast about the attack through the office, you are famous.” He added.
“I am always famous for something, I am only glad it’s not because of misbehaviour this time.”
“Now, now, Ms Lindon, don’t be so hard on yourself.” He chuckled lightly. “I will see you around five. I am finishing at four, so I won’t be late.”
“I can’t wait.” I beamed. “I love you.”
“Yeah, I love you too.” He said and hung up the phone.
I picked at my salad and thought about working on my laptop. I felt better, but I couldn’t find it and my keyboard was missing from my office. In its place was a yellow post-it on which Cain had scribbled,
Sorry, Jenna,
No working on your computer and I have hidden your lap top. You need to rest.
Love you,
Cain. Xoxo
I was a little annoyed, but I guessed his intentions were good, he was trying to look after me and knew I would probably do more damage to my head and eyes if I did give in to boredom and try and read or write. But I was going crazy, I couldn’t listen to the stereo because I only usually listened to music in my car or when writing.
I found an audio book certificate while searching my office drawer for a note pad, it was an erotic book
given to me by Kate for my birthday in May, so I downloaded it to my phone and sat on the couch. I was quickly submerged into the world of erotica, the main characters weren’t what I call, solid, they were flaky at best, still the story flowed and as I listened to intensely written love scenes they made my cheeks warm and my insides quake.
By the time Cain got home, I was smouldering inside with a fire I knew only he could put out. As much as my body hurt, as sore as I felt, I wanted him, I wanted him to take me up to my room and make me fly.
As he leaned over me, to kiss me, I grabbed hold of the tuft of his hair and held him against my mouth. When I reluctantly let him pull back, he was frowning.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Nothing.” I smiled, still tasting him in my mouth. “How was your day?”
“It was okay.” He answered coolly loosening his tie. “I am beat though, you fancy getting a take out tonight?”
“Sure.” I smiled again.
“What have you been doing?” he asked, obviously amused by my flustered demeanour.
“Reading, well, not reading, listening to an audio book.” I replied.
“Oh really, what kind of story was it?” he then asked sitting beside me and pulled my legs over his lap.
“Erotic.” I said and gazed into his eyes. He smiled and rubbed his thumb over my bare ankle.
“I see, so that kiss was because…?”
“I missed you.” I shrugged.
“I missed you too.” He smiled alluringly moving his hand up my leg and under the leg of my Capri pants.
“I am also a little horny, so…” I admitted.
“I can tell,” he grinned. “I can feel you warming at my touch.”
“It’s been a while.”
“Me too.” He admitted but then frowned. “I am worried that I’ll hurt you though.”
