“Something smells good,” he said as he walked along the hallway of her apartment, to the open plan living area. When he reached the center of the room, he turned, looking back at Louise who was still standing at the far side of the room. Finn could see she was probably as nervous as he was, and this did nothing to settle his nerves.
“Well, I thought we could stay home and eat,” Louise replied as she gave Finn a nervous look. “I like to cook, I also thought it might give us the chance to get to know each other a little better. I mean, rather than sitting in a packed restaurant.”
“I would like that,” Finn said as brightly as he could, but in his head, he was already thinking of excuses to leave early.
“I hope you like beef,” Louise said as she turned, heading towards the kitchen. “I got some fillet steaks, and I am doing it with roast vegetables and baby potatoes, with a red wine jus.”
“Sounds lovely,” Finn said as he slipped off his jacket, setting it on the arm of the sofa before he followed Louise towards the kitchen. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You could open the wine,” Louise said, as she gave Finn a smile. “There is a bottle of Merlot just over there on the counter.”
“Sure,” he said as he walked around the counter that separated the living-room from the kitchen, picking up the bottle of wine Louise had sitting on the counter. “Do you have a bottle opener?”
“In the top drawer,” she replied as she checked on the food. “There are glasses on the dinning table in the lounge.”
“Great,” Finn said as he opened the top drawer, pulling out the bottle opener. He closed the door and turned around to find Louise standing directly behind him, staring up into his eyes.
As their eyes met, Louise stepped forward, softly pressing her body to Finn’s, then she slowly leaned up and pressed her lips against his.
“I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time,” she breathed out as she slowly parted her lips from his.
“Really?” Finn whispered as he held her gaze with his, making no effort to pull away from her.
“Yes, really,” she sighed, smiling, as she pressed herself closer to him. “I really like you, Finn.”
“I like you too,” he replied as he continued to stare down into her eyes. Louise slowly leaned up again, and this time her kiss was a little firmer, as her hands slid up his chest, and around his broad shoulders.
Finn returned her kiss, but he felt a little bit awkward and somewhat disconnected from what was happening. As they kissed, he waited for that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach. The one when you’re kissing someone you like, and your body reacts from having them so close to you, but there was nothing.
Instead, right at that moment, Emmy came crashing into his head once more. Finn couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to kiss her. Finn could feel his body instantly react to the thought of kissing Emmy, and he was surprised by how much he wanted her.
He could feel his cock twitch at this simple thought, but he knew that there was no way he could ever feel like that for Louise. He needed to stop this now.
“Maybe, I should take care of this wine,” he blurted out as he pulled away from her abruptly.
“Okay,” Louise said, giving him a smile, but Finn could tell she was surprised by his reaction. “Dinner won’t be long, so I hope you’re hungry.”
“Great, I’m starving,” he replied as he hurried back around the counter, across the room to where Louise had the table perfectly set for dinner for them both. He poured two glasses of wine and set the bottle down in the middle of the table. Then he picked up the two glasses, carrying them back to the counter, setting one down in front of Louise, holding the other in his hand.
This time Finn chose to remain on the outside of the counter, keeping it between him and Louise like some kind of safety barrier. He knew that wasn’t the answer either, but until he could figure out what his next move was, that was all he could think of. In his heart he knew he would have to tell Louise that he didn’t think that things would work out between them, he just needed the right moment to do it.
He didn’t know why he wasn’t attracted to Louise. She was very pretty, probably everything Finn looked for in a girl. Some might even say she was perfect for him, maybe she was. Still, Finn couldn’t help how he felt. He knew that there was nothing there between him and this perfectly lovely girl, and he knew that it was unfair on her to keep pretending that this was actually going somewhere.
He was just about to say as much when Louise spoke first.
“I’ve thrown you a little by cooking dinner for us,” she said as she picked up her wine glass and took a sip. “Haven’t I?”
Finn looked at this girl for a moment, considering what he should say. He really didn’t want to hurt her any more than he really should, even if he knew she deserved the truth too.
“Amelia had warned me to take things slowly with you,” Louise continued before Finn could even reply. “She said that you could be shy and might need some time, I guess I should have listened to her because now I have scared you off.”
“It’s not that,” Finn said, as he set the glass down on the counter, giving her a warm smile. “I like you, Louise, I really do…”
“But just not in that way,” Louise finished Finn’s sentence for him.
“No, not in that way,” he replied, knowing he owed her the truth if nothing else. “I wish I did, I really do.”
“It’s okay,” Louise shrugged as she tried her hardest to appear unfazed by Finn’s reply, but he knew she was upset. “If I’m honest, I knew you didn’t feel the same way about me, as I did about you. I guess I just kinda hoped…”
“I’m sorry, Louise,” Finn said, wishing that he was anywhere but there, right at that moment. He hated that he had made a fool of this perfectly lovely lady. “I think that maybe I should just go.”
“You don’t have to,” Louise replied as she gave him reassuring smile, but Finn could see in her eyes that she wanted him to leave too. “Dinner is just ready. You could stay and eat if you want…”
Finn stared at her for a moment, wishing more than anything he could feel for her the way he felt for Emmy. She was everything that he had ever wanted in a girl, but she just wasn’t Emmy. Even if he knew that no matter what he felt for Emmy, nothing could ever come of it, he just couldn’t pretend with Louise
“I think it’s best if I don’t,” Finn finally replied, knowing there was no point in putting off the inevitable. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Louise, and if I have, I really am sorry.”
“Me too,” she said as she walked around the counter, and led Finn out to the door of her apartment.
“Take care of yourself, Louise,” Finn said as he softly kissed her on the cheek.
“Goodbye, Finn,” Louise replied, as she gave him a sad smile. Finn smiled back before he walked out the door, making his way back down the stairs.
As he stepped out into the cool night air, he released a long, frustrated breath, before he headed back towards his car, and climbed inside.
He had no idea why, but he felt relieved somehow that, at least with Louise, things were finally sorted. As for Emmy, it didn’t matter how he felt, she was his student, and he was her teacher. They could never be a thing, even if she felt the same way for him, as he felt for her.
Then it hit him. All this time he had been so concerned about doing the right thing, and not acting on how he felt; he had never once considered if she had feelings for him. He really had no clue.
Most likely, she probably just thought he was an overbearing, pompous asshole that always managed to say the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. Why would she ever look at him as anything more?
Finn laughed out loud at just how ridiculous this whole thing was. He had himself tied into knots over a girl who probably barely cared that he even existed.
He started his car, and pulled out into the late evening traffic, then headed for home.
Twenty minutes
later, he pulled his car into his front driveway, turning off the engine. Finn didn’t know why but he suddenly felt so restless. Maybe it was the thought of going into an empty house that bothered him, or maybe it was more than that. Maybe it was the fact that he felt so out of control even in his own thoughts and emotions.
He walked to the bottom of the steps that led up to his townhouse, but when he reached them, he stopped. Finn knew he was never going to sleep that night if he didn’t burn off some of his excess energy. So instead of going into his house, he slipped his keys into his pocket, then turned, heading back out of his driveway, and started to walk.
Finn didn’t know how long he had been walking, but after what felt like forever, he was starting to feel a little tired. He was just about to turn and head back for home when he spotted a little coffee shop on the corner of the street that was still open.
He knew that coffee was not going to help him sleep either, but the aroma was so delicious and inviting, Finn couldn’t resist, as he headed for the door. Once inside, he headed to the counter, ordering a decaf latte and a blueberry muffin.
When he had his coffee, he headed for a seat in the corner and sat down, glad of the from his evening stroll. Finn picked up his coffee, taking a long welcomed sip before he set the cup back down. Just as he reached for his muffin, the chime above the door caught his attention, he instinctively looked up and froze when he spotted Emmy walking to the counter.
Finn just sat there for a moment, wondering what he should do. He wondered if he should say hello, or would it be easier to pretend he didn’t see her.
Finn watched her as she stood at the counter. She smiled at the girl behind the counter, as she spoke to her, and he couldn’t help but wished he was the one that was making her smile.
Suddenly, as if she could feel Finn watching her, she turned and looked directly at him. The moment she saw him, she froze, before she quickly turned back to the girl behind the counter, who had just set down her coffee to go.
Without looking at Finn again, Emmy picked up her coffee, then turned and headed for the door.
Finn couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, but then after the way he had treated her in class that day, he really couldn’t blame her.
He sat there for a moment, as his heart raced in his chest, then without even thinking, he stood up, hurrying out of the coffee shop after her.
“Emmy!” He called out, praying she would stop.
Chapter 8
Emmy
Emmy froze the moment she heard him calling her name. After the day she had, this was the last thing she needed. But still, here he was, and now she had a decision to make. Should she turn and talk to her professor, or should she just keep walking, pretending that she didn’t hear him?
“Emmy,” Finn called out again, and Emmy knew she couldn’t ignore him now. She turned slowly, forcing a smile on her face that she really didn’t feel. Instead, what she really wanted to do was go home and finally let go of the tears she had been fighting all day.
She knew the moment he arrived in his classroom that morning that something was off. Professor Murphy always greeted her with a smile and a good morning when he arrived at his classroom. That morning he had been a little later than he usually was, so when he arrived, there were other students there too, so she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t say, ‘Good morning, Emmy.’ But when he didn’t even look at her, she was a little thrown.
Then all through the class, he refused to make any kind of eye contact with her, not once did he call on her during the classroom discussion.
Emmy worried that maybe she had done something to upset him in some way, but no matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t figure out what she had done wrong.
She decided she was going to try to talk to him at the end of the class, but when she approached the desk, he didn’t even look up at her. Plus he called her Ms. Warner. He hadn’t called her that except during class since the day they had cleared the air after their disagreement. It had caught her by surprise, and she didn’t know what to say after that.
Emmy honestly didn’t know what to think, so she did the only thing she could. She turned and walked out of the classroom. She was surprised by how hurt she felt. She thought they had finally settled their differences, but clearly, she was wrong.
“I guess you’re no longer the teacher’s pet,” Shelby said with an air of delight, from behind Emmy as she stepped out into the hallway.
“I wasn’t aware that I ever was,” Emmy replied as she continued on down the hallway to her next class.
“Please, you two were practically drooling over each other since class started four weeks ago,” Shelby hissed with such venom, it almost shocked Emmy. “What was it, a lovers tiff?”
“You really are a sad little girl,” Emmy sighed as she stopped, turning back to look at Shelby. “But I’m not going to dignify you with a response. So why don’t you grow up.”
“I know who you are,” Shelby said suddenly as Emmy turned away from her, stopping her once more in her tracks. “I know all about how Mommy dearest got her brains blown out and died in your arms, I also know about your father too.”
Emmy didn’t reply; she could barely even breathe. She couldn’t believe anyone could be so cruel and callous.
“If you think a dead Mommy and Daddy gets you extra points with the professor,” She hissed as she stepped closer to Emmy, glaring straight into her eyes. “Then you’re very mistaken. I know all about you, Ms. Warner; so stay away from Professor Murphy, or I will tell the whole student body all about poor little Emmy.”
Shelby gave Emmy a grin before she stepped around her, continuing on down the corridor, leaving Emmy standing there, trying desperately to catch her breath.
She stood there for a few moments, she felt like the hallway was spinning. She closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart. Emmy couldn’t face sitting through her other classes. In fact, being on campus was the last place she wanted to be.
It wasn’t until someone bumped into her, almost knocking her over that she turned and headed for the exit; she didn’t stop running till she got home.
Now here she was, facing the last person in this city she wanted to see, once more, all she wanted to do was turn and run, but she knew that wasn’t an option.
“Professor,” Emmy finally said, as she tried her hardest to seem as normal as possible. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you in there.”
She had no idea why she lied, but she did. To make matters worse, she knew that Professor Murphy knew she was lying too.
“I think we both know that’s not true,” Finn replied, and to Emmy surprise, he gave her a smile. This just made her want to cry more. “Can I buy you a coffee?”
Emmy was stunned by his request. For a moment she wondered if maybe he was playing with her head on purpose. Emmy looked into his eyes, and she knew that his offer was genuine; that he was trying to make amends with her once more.
“Thanks,” she replied with a smile, as she held up the hot chocolate that was in her hand. “But I’ve already got my drink.”
“Right,” Finn said, and Emmy was surprised to see him blush. “Well, would you care to join me?”
“I can’t,” Emmy lied, knowing she didn’t have anywhere else to be right at that moment. Still, coffee with the good professor might have seemed like fun the day before, but now it just seemed like the worst idea in the world.
“Please,” he said, surprising her once more.
She stared at him for a moment, with every fiber of her being screaming at her to say no, but she looked at his eyes, and for some reason that completely escaped her. She nodded and gave him a smile.
They both turned and walked back into the little coffee shop, and back to the table, Finn had been sitting at moments earlier. Finn pulled out a chair for Emmy and waited for her to sit down, before he too, took his seat.
They sat for a moment in an awkward silence. Each lost in their own thoughts, neither knowing
what to say next.
“I really shouldn’t be drinking this,” Finn said as he reached for his coffee, trying desperately to make some kind of small talk. “Even if it is decaf. I still won’t sleep tonight.”
“That’s why I got hot chocolate,” Emmy replied with a nervous smile, as she held up her paper cup.
“Now, why didn’t I think of that,” Finn said with a chuckle, as he picked up his coffee, taking a sip. And once more, an uncomfortable silence fell between them.
“Look, Emmy, about today,” Finn finally said, knowing he owed her some kind of explanation for his dreadful behaviour that morning in their classroom. “I owe you an apology, for my behaviour I mean. I acted like a real jerk today, so for that I’m sorry.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” Emmy said as she focused on the cup in her hand, willing herself not to cry.
“Yes, I do,” Finn said, as he leaned forward in his seat, then reached out, softly touching her hand. “My behaviour today was inexcusable; you did nothing to deserve it.”
Emmy looked up at the professor, but she didn’t reply. She didn’t know what to say.
Suddenly to her horror, hot tears stung her eyes, and she knew the tears she had been fighting all day, had finally won their battle.
“I’m sorry, Professor,” Emmy said as she stood up abruptly. The last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him. She had already humiliated herself in front of him enough, and to do it again would be the final straw to this nightmare of a day. “I have to go…”
She turned, hurrying towards the door, not even taking her hot chocolate with her. By the time she reached the pavement outside, hot, salty tears were trickling down her face.
She had just started up the street, when she heard the door open behind her, as once more Professor Murphy called out her name.
This time, Emmy didn’t stop, she didn’t even slow down. Instead, she just kept walking, putting as much space between her and Finn Murphy as she could.
Finn (The Murphy Boys Book 2) Page 7
