“A hairline fracture,” Sean said, giving his son a hopeful look. “That’s not that bad though, right?”
“Not usually,” Dylan continued. “But this blow also cause a small bleed in Emmy brain, which made her brain swell.”
“What does that mean?” Finn asked.
“It means that we’ve had to place her in a medically induced coma,” Dylan explained. “We hope that doing this will give her brain a chance to heal, and for the swelling to go down.”
“And if it doesn’t?” Finn replied.
“Then we will take her back to surgery where we would remove a small portion of her skull,” Dylan said, being as honest as he could be. “And hopefully that will prevent any further damage.”
“Any further damage?” Nell said, and Finn could hear the heartbreak in his mother’s voice.
“The truth is,” Dylan replied. “We don’t know what sort of damage might have happened until Emmy wakes up. Assuming she wakes up.”
“So she might not even wake up?” Finn asked as he felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest.
“I don’t know, Finn,” Dylan replied. “I’m sorry.”
“I want to see her,” Finn said as he climbed up from the bed once more, this time no one was going to stop him.
Chapter 20
Finn sat by Emmy’s bed, watching her, as he willed her with all his heart to open her eyes. Common sense told him that was never going to happen as long as the hospital kept her in an induced coma. His brain knew that, he just needed someone to tell his heart.
It had been three days since the crash, but Finn had barely left her side. Dylan said that they were happy with her progress so far. The bleeding in her brain had stopped, also the swelling had reduced some, but not fully, and they weren’t happy enough to attempt to bring her out of her coma. Plus, she was still intubated.
The only good news was, they hadn’t needed to take her back to surgery again.
Dylan tried to assure Finn that that was a positive thing, but until Emmy woke up, Finn could find little comfort in anything. He just couldn’t stand to see her so weak and broken.
When Liam came to inform him that the driver of the other car had been over three time the legal driving limit, Finn felt nothing but pure, and utter anger. This was all so wrong, and he felt beyond helpless.
Since the night of the crash, there had been at least one of his family with him at all times so Finn was starting to feel a little suffocated. Even Nikki, Landen’s assistant had come by to see if there was anything she could do for Finn when the truth was, he just wanted to be left alone. But it was like they were afraid he would fall apart completely if they did that, so they never left his side.
Gabby had been by too, but every time she came, she just sobbed uncontrollably, so it was agreed that she would take a day or two away from the hospital. Finn promised he would call her if anything changed.
But finally after three long days, they were all gone. For the first time since the accident on Friday night, Finn was alone with Emmy, he felt like he could finally breathe.
“Emmy, I’m here,” he leaned in, whispering softly into her ear as he held her hand tightly. “Please just open your eyes. Open them and look at me; look at me, tell me that I’m not going to lose you.”
He hated seeing her lying there, letting the machine breathe for her. After three days, he knew what every beep and every alarm was for. He found he would catch himself breathing in time with the ventilator; almost like he was breathing for them both.
“Or maybe just a sign,” he continued as he brought her hand to his mouth, softly kissing it. “Give me a sign that you can hear me.”
Finn would have given anything to be able to have swapped places with her. This was just too hard to bear.
“Open your eyes, Emmy,” he pleaded almost angrily as he held her hand tightly. “Open them and look at me.”
He brought her hand to his mouth again, kissing it once more.
“Why did I wait?” He asked as he leaned in. softly stroking her hair. “I have wasted weeks, months even, trying to be the good guy; trying to do the right thing, and what did that get me. One night! One night with the woman I love, and now what?”
Finn wiped the tears that were now trickling down his face.
“I need more, Emmy,” Finn whispered as he memorised every inch of her face. “I need a whole life time with you. It can’t be just one night.”
Suddenly there was a soft tap on the door. Finn looked up to see his father standing there. When Sean’s eyes met his son’s, he gave him a knowing smile. Finn knew his father understood exactly what he was thinking right at that moment.
He set Emmy’s hand back down on the bed, then stood up and walked out of the small, glass cubicle to his father, and Sean wrapped his arms around his son as Finn let go of the heartbreak he had been trying so hard to hold back.
Dylan, who was standing at the nurse station, nodded to his father and pointed to the on-call room that was down the corridor. Sean smiled and led Finn down to the room, leading him inside.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Finn said once he managed to compose himself again. “I know crying isn’t going to solve anything…”
“I don’t know about that,” Sean said with a smile. “Your mom always said that a good cry solves so many problems, and somehow it makes her feel better.”
Despite feeling so incredibly sad, Finn couldn’t help but smile at his father. He loved how he always knew exactly what to say to make a difficult moment, somehow easier.
“Talk to me, Son,” Sean said as he watched Finn closely. “Holding whatever is going through you mind inside, will do no one any good.”
“It’s just,” Finn said as he wiped his eyes, with the back of his hands. “It’s been three days, and nothing has really changed…”
“But they haven’t got any worse either,” Sean reasoned. Finn knew he was trying to make him see the positive.
“I know,” Finn sighed. “But the longer she is in a coma, the less likely she is ever going to come out of it. I’m just so scared that I am never going to get the chance to have the life that we’re supposed to have.”
“How do you know that, Finn?” Sean asked. “Miracles happen every day.”
“What if she doesn’t wake up?” Finn asked. “What if, after everything, all I get was one night?”
“You can’t think that way, Finn,” Sean said but his words didn’t change how he was feeling, or what he was thinking.
“You know, I have spent my whole life being different,” Finn said as he looked up into his father’s eyes. “I always felt like I never quite fit in. I was always an outsider no matter where I was or who I was with. I know that Landen always tried to make me feel like I was one of the gang, and I love him so much for that, but I never really quite fit in. And I don’t just mean in the family. I always felt the odd one out. I was the smartest kid in school when I was little, other kids would make fun of me. When I got to college, I was the younger kid that nobody would see, and I spent most of my time alone again. But I was always okay with it. I was comfortable with who I was.”
“But your brother’s love you very much,” Sean said surprised by his son’s comment.
“I know they do,” Finn sighed and gave his father a smile. “And I love them. But it never changed how I felt. But Emmy did.”
Sean didn’t reply, he just waited for his son to continue.
“When I was with her, I didn’t feel like the smartest, or the strangest,” Finn continued. “I felt like I was finally the real me. Like somehow, she just got me. We had been just friends since the start of the school year, but when I was with her, I felt like it was easy and natural. We could talk for hours about books, or movies, or, I don’t know, just stupid things and it felt like it was everything. I found that even when I wasn’t with her, she was all I thought about. If I heard something funny or crazy, or even sad, she was the first person I wanted to call and talk about it with.”
He stopped for a moment, as he heart ached. He blew out a long breath, refusing to give in to tears once more.
“I was in love with her for so long, Dad,” Finn whispered as his voice cracked with unshed tears. “But I didn’t tell her until Thanksgiving night. I thought I was doing the right thing because I was her professor, but now I just feel like I wasted what little time we had. Now I wish I had told her weeks ago that I loved her, because one night is just not enough.”
He looked up into his father’s eyes and wished that his dad could fix everything for him, just like he was a little kid.
“I need more, Dad,” he breathed out, as once more tears trickled down her face. “I need her.”
Sean wrapped his arms around his son, holding him as his heart broke for the girl he loved.
“You can’t give up on her, Finn,” Sean said as he just held his son tightly. “You need to fight for her. You need to fight for you both.”
Finn didn’t reply. Instead he just cried, knowing that without Emmy, life no longer made sense.
“So,” Sean said an hour later while they sat next to Emmy’s bed. “Mom mentioned something about a hearing this week for one of your students that gave Emmy some trouble.”
“It’s tomorrow,” Finn sighed as he kept his eyes fixed on Emmy. “Shelby Cooper Smith, a horrible excuse for a human being. The Dean called today to say that the hearing was going to go ahead, because they didn’t need Emmy to give evidence. She wasn’t even the one who made the complaint. It was one of the other students in the class.”
“But why wouldn’t they wait for her to be able to be there?” Sean said, and Finn knew he was surprised that they would go ahead without her. “Surely she has a right to be there. A right to say what this girl, this Shelby Cooper whatever her name is, did to her.”
“Shelby’s parents are pushing for it to be resolved,” Finn explained, but he felt like his father did. He thought that Emmy should be there. “The Dean said, given they didn’t know how long Emmy would be in hospital, or if she would even pull through, the choice was deal with it now, or drop the complaint completely.
“Wow!” Sean said, clearly disgusted by what the Dean had said. “That’s pretty cold.”
“I know,” Finn sighed, still feeling angry with the whole thing. “I told them that given the choice, they needed to push forward with it, because no matter what happens with Emmy, Shelby still has to answer for what she did to her.”
“Does the Dean know about you and Emmy?” Sean asked, and Finn could hear the worry in his father’s voice.
“No,” Finn replied with a sigh. “But right now, I don’t care if he does or doesn’t. I just want her to be okay. Nothing else matters to me right now.”
“But you’re going to go to the hearing tomorrow, right?” Sean asked, surprising Finn.
“No,” Finn said giving his father a confused look. “I’m not leaving here until she wakes up.”
“But don’t you think that someone should be there that has her back,” Sean said pushing his son.
“And say what, Dad?” Finn asked with a sigh, “I knew what was going on, but Emmy made me promise I would say nothing, and because I let my feelings for her get in the way of doing the right thing, I didn’t report it.”
“But.., “Sean began to argue, but he stopped. Finn could see his father knew his mind was made up.
“I just need her to be okay,” Finn whispered as he slipped his hand back into hers. “None of that other bullshit matters to me right now. She is all that matters.”
“Okay, Son,” Sean said without pushing it more.
Just then Dylan came into the room, with Doctor Abrams, Emmy’s neurologist, and Finn instantly sat up straight.
“What’s wrong?” He asked knowing from the look on Dylan’s face that something was going on.
“Nothing bad, I assure you, Finn,” Doctor Abrams said as Dylan handed him her file. He read down through the results of Emmy’s latest tests. “As you know, we ran some new tests today, and we feel that the swelling in Emmy’s brain had reduced enough to at try to bring her out of the coma. Also, we believe she is now breathing over the vent, so we feel now is the right time to extubate her.”
“So you’re going to wake her up?” Finn said as a sudden bubble of hope came alive inside him. “So she’s okay?”
“We still don’t know that, Finn,” Dylan explained. “We believe that there is no reason why she shouldn’t wake up once we reduce the sedation that has her in the coma, but...”
“But she might not wake up,” Finn said trying hard not to let go of the hope he had moments before.
“We just don’t know,” Doctor Abrams replied honestly, giving Finn a sad smile. “All we can do is hope.”
“And how long will it take?” Finn asked. “How long until we know for sure.”
“A few hours,” Dylan replied. “Maybe a little longer.”
“Okay,” Finn said as he stood up. “So when are we doing this?”
“Well,” Doctor Abrams said with a smile. “Now is as good a time as any, but if you would like to wait a few minutes.”
“No!” Finn exclaimed. “Now is good.”
“Okay then,” Doctor Abrams said with a smile, before he nodded at Dylan to get things started.
Finn stood there, watching the two doctors as they slowly and carefully removed the tubing from her throat. They had suggested that he might want to wait outside, but Finn refused to leave her side. As he stood there, he felt like his whole body was vibrating with nervous energy. He knew that it was unlikely that she would just open her eyes the moment they had done whatever it was that they were planning to do, but in his heart that’s exactly what he was hoping would happen.
Once the tubing was removed, Doctor Abrams started to administer the medication to reverse the coma.
As he did, Finn held his breath, willing her to open her eyes, even though he knew it would take some time. Still, he hoped.
After what seemed like forever, they were finished, and Emmy was settled once more. She had a cannula in her nose now, just to provide her a little more oxygen, but her face looked less stressed without all the tubing and tape. Despite the cuts and bruising, you could have almost thought that she was just sleeping.
“I will be back in later to check on her,” Doctor Abrams said before he turned, heading for the door. Dylan didn’t follow him immediately, instead he stood, watching Finn.
“I know you just want her to wake up,” he said as Finn looked up at him. “I know you want her to be okay, and I believe she will be. You just need to give her a little time.”
“I will,” Finn replied, smiling as Dylan turned, walking towards the door. “Dylan!”
Dylan stopped, turning back to look at Finn.
“Thank you for looking after her like you have,” Finn said, truly grateful for everything that his brother was doing. “I know you have done everything you could, no matter what happens now, I just want you to know that I’m grateful.”
“It was my pleasure,” Dylan replied, giving his brother a warm smile. “But I wish I didn’t have to do any of it. I wish none of this happened to her; to either of you.”
“I know,” Finn sighed, as he too felt the same.
“You have to believe that she is going to be fine,” Dylan said as she glanced back at Emmy. “But if she isn’t. I want you to know that I believe she really loves you. It was written all over her face the first night I met her.”
“Thanks, Dylan,” Finn replied, giving him a grateful smile.
“I’ll be back in a little while to check on her,” Dylan said, before he looked at his dad and smiled. “Take care of him, Dad.”
“I will, Son,” Sean assured him with a smile.
Once he was gone, Finn took his seat back beside Emmy, taking her hand, as his father remained by the doorway.
“Okay, Emmy,” Finn whispered as he leaned into her. “It’s up to you now. We just need you to open your eyes.”
&
nbsp; Now all Finn needed to do was wait.
Chapter 21
It had been almost twenty-four hours since the doctor had decided to bring Emmy out of her coma, but so far, she still hadn’t opened her eyes. Finn was now struggling to remain positive, despite the words of encouragement from his family. He tried to appear like he was still feeling positive, but deep down inside, he had all but given up hope.
Landen arrived at the hospital a little after lunch, to let Nell go to a meeting she couldn’t get out of, but Finn wished that they would all just go and leave him alone.
“You know you really don’t need to be here,” he grumbled as Landen pulled his seat closer to the bed.
“I know I don’t have to be here,” he said as he glanced over at his brother. “But I want to be here; there’s a difference.”
“You can’t all put your life on hold, so you can come to babysit me,” Finn replied impatiently.
“Finn, why are you fighting us on this,” Landen sighed looking directly at his brother. “We love you, and we want to be here for you, and for Emmy. She has no one else, so it’s the right thing to do.”
“She has me,” Finn snapped angrily as he looked at his brother. “She will always have me.”
“We know that,” Landen replied, his voice still soft and calm. “Finn, I know you’re angry, it’s been almost twenty-four hours, and Emmy isn’t awake. You’re angry, you’re sad, and your heart is breaking. I get it. Just please don’t push the rest of us away.”
“You don’t understand,” Finn sighed impatiently at his brother’s comments.
“But I do,” Landen last. “I nearly lost Amelia once, so I know exactly how you’re feeling.”
Finn looked at Landen for a moment, realising that his brother was right. He had almost forgotten everything that had happened with Amelia, Landen, and that psychopath, Pete Reynolds. He also knew that he was right about him being angry. He was so angry, but he didn’t know why, or who to blame for his anger, so he was lashing out at those that loved him the most.
Finn (The Murphy Boys Book 2) Page 18
