‘She ain’t your AF, Scrub.’ Danny’s hands were still tight around my elbows. ‘You need to ask Josie about something like that.’
‘Hey, Josie,’ Scrub called. ‘It’s okay, right? My B3, you can swing her right through the air, lands on her feet every time. Come on, Danny. Throw her over onto the sofa. She won’t get damaged.’
‘So uncouth,’ the long-armed girl said quietly, and several girls, Josie included, giggled.
‘My B3,’ Scrub continued, ‘she’ll somersault and land clean on her feet. Back straight, perfect. So let’s see what this one can do.’
‘You’re not a B3, right?’ Danny asked.
I didn’t reply, but Josie behind me said: ‘No, but she’s the best.’
‘Yeah? So can she do what Scrub says?’
‘I have a B3 now,’ a girl’s voice said. ‘You’ll see him next meeting.’
Then another voice asked: ‘Why didn’t you get a B3, Josie?’
‘Because…I liked this one.’ Josie said this uncertainly, but then the strength returned to her voice. ‘There’s nothing any B3 can do Klara can’t.’
There was movement behind me, and then the long-armed girl was standing beside Danny. He seemed to feel both excitement and fear to be near her, and let go of my elbows. But now the long-armed girl gripped my left wrist, though not nearly as roughly as Danny had been holding me.
‘Hello, Klara,’ she said, and looked me over carefully again. ‘Now. Let’s see. Klara, will you please sing for me the harmonic minor scale?’
I wasn’t sure how Josie wished me to respond so I waited for her to speak. But she remained silent.
‘Oh? You don’t sing?’
‘Come on,’ the boy called Scrub called out. ‘Throw her over. If she can’t coordinate, I’ll just catch her.’
‘Not saying much.’ The long-armed girl came closer and stared at my eyes. ‘Maybe she’s low on solar.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with her.’ Josie said this so quietly, it was possible I was the only one to hear.
‘Klara,’ the long-armed girl said. ‘Give me a greeting.’
I remained silent, waiting for Josie to speak again.
‘No? Nothing?’
‘Hey, Josie,’ a voice said behind me. ‘You could have got a B3, right? So why didn’t you?’
Josie laughed and said: ‘Now I’m starting to think I should have.’
This brought other laughs, then a new voice said: ‘B3s are so amazing.’
‘Come on, Klara,’ the long-armed girl said. ‘A little greeting at least.’
I’d by now fixed a pleasant expression on my face and was gazing past her, much as Manager had trained us to do in the store in such situations.
‘An AF who refuses to greet. Josie, will you tell Klara to say something to us?’
‘Throw her over here. That’ll bring her to life.’
‘Klara’s got a great memory,’ Josie said behind me. ‘As good as any AF anywhere.’
‘Oh really?’ said the long-armed girl.
‘And not just her memory. She notices things no one else does and stores them away.’
‘Okay.’ The long-armed girl kept holding my wrist. ‘Okay, Klara. Here’s what to do. Without turning to look. Tell me what my sister’s wearing.’
I continued to stare beyond the long-armed girl at the bricks on the wall.
‘Seems to have frozen. But she’s cute, I’ll give you that.’
‘Ask her again,’ Josie said. ‘Go on, Marsha. Ask again.’
‘Okay. Now, Klara, I know you can do it. Tell me what Missy’s wearing.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, still looking past her.
‘You’re sorry?’ Then the long-armed girl said to the room, ‘What’s that mean?’ and people laughed. Then she glared at me and asked: ‘What do you mean, Klara? What do you mean, you’re sorry?’
‘I’m sorry I’m unable to help.’
‘She’s not going to help.’ The long-armed girl’s look softened and at last she released my wrist. ‘Okay, Klara. You can turn and look. Take a look at what Missy’s wearing.’
Though it might look impolite, I didn’t turn. Because if I did so, I’d not only see Missy – I knew of course what she was wearing down to her purple wristband and tiny bear pendant – but also Josie, and then we would have to exchange looks with each other.
‘I give up,’ the long-armed girl said.
‘Okay,’ Danny said. ‘Then we’ll do Scrub’s test. Just to please him. Phil, come here and help me swing her. Scrub, stay where you are, get ready to catch. This is okay with you, Josie?’
Behind me, Josie remained silent, but a girl’s voice said: ‘Throwing AFs across the room. That’s evil.’
‘What’s evil about it? They’re designed to deal with it.’
‘That’s not the point,’ the girl’s voice said. ‘It’s just nasty.’
‘You’re being soft,’ Danny said. ‘Phil, take her arms. I’ll get the legs.’
‘What’s that you have there in your pocket?’ It was Rick who’d spoken and the room went silent.
‘What d’you say, friend?’
Rick moved through the guests, stopping a little to my right. He showed no fear as he pointed at the breast pocket of Danny’s shirt. I’d noticed the object earlier – a soft toy dog small enough for the pocket. I’d seen children of seven and eight carrying such toys in their pockets when they’d come into the store.
As everyone shifted positions to see what Rick was pointing at, Danny raised both hands to cover his pocket.
‘A pet object, I’d say,’ Rick said.
‘It’s not a pet object,’ Danny said.
‘I’d say it’s your pet object. To help you feel calmer at gatherings like this one.’
‘What’s this bullshit? Who asked you anything?’
‘If it’s really nothing so special, perhaps you wouldn’t mind showing it to me.’ Rick held out his hand. ‘Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of it.’
‘Whether it’s anything special or not, it’s none of your business.’
‘Do please let me borrow it. Just for a minute.’
‘It’s nothing to me, but I wouldn’t hand it over to you.’
‘No? Not even a little peek?’
‘I’d never lend you anything. Why would I? You shouldn’t even be here.’
Rick was still holding out his hand, and the room remained silent.
‘It couldn’t be you’re perhaps a little soft yourself, Danny?’ Rick said. ‘At least, when it comes to cute little things for the pocket.’
‘That’s enough! You leave Danny be!’
The voice belonged to an adult, and the young people around me shrank back as the woman came striding into the room. ‘And Danny’s right,’ she said. ‘You shouldn’t be here at all.’
Then the Mother came hurrying in after her, and I saw other adults looking through the doorway into the Open Plan.
‘Come on, Sara,’ the Mother was saying. ‘We don’t interfere, remember?’
The Mother put an arm around the Sara woman, who continued to glare at Rick.
‘Come on, Sara. Play by the rules. It’s for the kids to sort out.’
Sara continued to look angry, but allowed herself to be led away out of the room and into the murmur of adult voices in the hall. One of the voices said: ‘It’s the only way they’ll learn,’ and then the adult voices receded, and there was silence in the Open Plan.
Danny was perhaps even more embarrassed about his adult’s interference than he’d been about the small toy. He continued to cover his breast pocket with both hands as he returned to the sofa, his now slightly hunched back turned to the room.
‘Okay,’ the long-armed girl said brightly. ‘How about we go outside for a while? It’s turned n
ice out there. Look!’
A chorus of voices shouted approval, and I heard Josie’s among them saying, ‘Great idea. Let’s do it!’
The children filed out, led by Josie and the long-armed girl. Danny and Scrub left with them, and then there was only Rick and myself in the Open Plan.
Rick looked around at the discarded jackets, displaced seat cushions, plates, soda cans, potato snack bags, magazines, but he didn’t look towards me. I wondered if any adults would come in to tidy now that the children had left, but none of them came, and the blur of voices continued from the kitchen.
‘You challenged that boy, I think, for my benefit,’ I said eventually. ‘Thank you.’
Rick shrugged. ‘He was getting seriously annoying. In fact they all were.’ Then he added, still not looking my way: ‘I suppose it wasn’t exactly enjoyable for you either.’
‘It became uncomfortable for me and I was grateful for Rick’s rescue. But it has also been very interesting.’
‘Interesting?’
‘It’s important for me to observe Josie in many situations. And it was very interesting, for instance, to observe the different shapes the children made as they went from group to group.’ When he said nothing to this, and continued to look the other way, I said: ‘Perhaps Rick wishes to go out now and join them. Reconcile with them.’
He shook his head. Then he moved through the Sun’s pattern – the Open Plan, I noticed, was no longer spatially segmented – and sat down on the modular sofa, stretching his legs out across the floorboards.
‘I suppose they have a point though,’ he said. ‘I don’t belong here. This is a meeting for lifted kids.’
‘Rick came because Josie very much wanted him to come.’
‘She insisted I came. But I suppose she’s too busy now to come back in here, see how I’m enjoying this part of the party.’ He leaned back into the sofa till the Sun’s pattern was over his face, obliging him to close his eyes. ‘The trouble is,’ he went on, ‘she doesn’t stay the same. I thought if I came today – stupid, really – I thought she might not…change. Might stay the same Josie.’
When he said this, I saw again Josie’s hands at various points during the interaction meeting – welcome hands, offering hands, tension hands – and her face, and her voice when someone had asked why she hadn’t chosen a B3 and she’d laughed and said, ‘Now I’m starting to think I should have.’ And Manager’s words came into my mind, her warning about children who made promises at the window, yet never returned, or worse still, returned and chose another AF altogether. I thought about the boy AF I’d seen through the gap between the slow taxis, walking despondently along the RPO Building side, three paces behind his teenager, and I wondered if Josie and I would ever walk in such a way.
‘Perhaps you can see now,’ Rick said, opening his eyes despite the Sun’s pattern. ‘See how I need to save Josie from this lot.’
‘I can see Rick is afraid Josie might become like the others. But even though she behaved strangely just now, I believe Josie is kind underneath. And those other children. They have rough ways, but they may not be so unkind. They fear loneliness and that’s why they behave as they do. Perhaps Josie too.’
‘If Josie hangs out with them much more, she soon won’t be Josie at all. Somewhere she knows that herself, and that’s why she keeps on about our plan. For ages she’d forgotten about it, but now she talks about it all the time.’
‘I heard Josie mention this plan the other day. Is it a plan about Rick and Josie sharing a future together?’
He looked past me out of the Open Plan’s window, and I thought his hostility towards me had returned. But then he said:
‘It’s just something we started when we were young. Before we realized how it would be. How all these things could get in our way. Even so, Josie still believes in it.’
‘And Rick still believes in the plan too?’
He now looked directly at me. ‘Like I say. Without the plan, she’s going to end up becoming one of them. I’d better go.’ He rose suddenly. ‘Before those kids come back. Or that crazy mother.’
‘I hope we can soon talk again about these matters. Because I believe in many ways Rick and I have similar goals.’
‘Look, the other day. When I said about not wanting Josie to have an AF. It wasn’t anything personal. It was just…well, it felt like something else that would get in our way.’
‘I hope not. In fact now I understand more, I’d like to do my best to help with Rick and Josie’s plan. Perhaps help remove the obstacles you talk about.’
‘I’d better go. Check my mum’s all right.’
‘Of course.’
He walked past me, and out of the Open Plan. I took a few steps forward so I could watch him go out through the front door and into the Sun’s brightness.
* * *
—
As I said to Rick that day, the interaction meeting had been a source of valuable new observations. I had, for one thing, learned about Josie’s ability to ‘change’ – as Rick had put it – and I watched carefully for signs of her doing so again. I wondered too how much she really did wish she’d chosen a B3. Her remark had most likely been intended as a humorous one, to keep back the threat of disharmony during the meeting. Even so, it was true B3s had capabilities beyond my own, and I had to consider the possibility that Josie might sometimes entertain such ideas in her mind.
In the days following the meeting, I worried also about how Josie might view my failure to respond to the long-armed girl’s questions. In the situation that had developed – and in the absence of clear signals from Josie – I’d taken the course I’d considered to be for the best. But it now occurred to me Josie might, after a period of reflection, become angry with me.
For all these reasons, I feared the interaction meeting might place shadows over our friendship. But as the days went by, Josie remained as cheerful and kind to me as she’d ever been. I waited for her to bring up the events of the meeting, but she never did so.
As I say, these were helpful lessons for me. Not only had I learned that ‘changes’ were a part of Josie, and that I should be ready to accommodate them, I’d begun to understand also that this wasn’t a trait peculiar just to Josie; that people often felt the need to prepare a side of themselves to display to passers-by – as they might in a store window – and that such a display needn’t be taken so seriously once the moment had passed.
I was happy then that nothing changed between us on account of the meeting. However, not long afterwards, something else came along which did for a time make our friendship less warm. This was the trip to Morgan’s Falls, and it came to trouble me because I couldn’t for a long time see how it had created coldness between us, or how I might have avoided such a thing happening.
* * *
—
Early one morning, three weeks after the interaction meeting, I looked over to Josie and could tell from her posture and her breathing that she wasn’t sleeping in her usual way. I used the alarm button and the Mother came immediately. She phoned for Dr Ryan, and then I heard Melania Housekeeper calling him again a little later to ask him to hurry. When he did come, he checked Josie over carefully, then said there was nothing to worry about. The Mother was relieved, and once the doctor had left, her manner became brisk. She sat on the edge of Josie’s bed and said to her: ‘You have to quit that energy drink. I always said it was bad for you.’
Josie said, not lifting her head from her pillow: ‘I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I got really tired, is all. You didn’t have to worry about me. And now you’re going to be late for work.’
‘Worrying about you, Josie, that’s my work.’ Then she added: ‘Klara’s work too. She did well to raise the alarm.’
‘I just need to sleep a little more. Then I promise I’ll be fine, Mom.’
‘Listen, honey.’ The Mother leaned
right over till she was talking into Josie’s ear. ‘Listen. You need to get well for me. Do you hear me?’
‘Hear you, Mom.’
‘Good. I wasn’t sure you were listening.’
‘Listening, Mom. I’m keeping my eyes shut, is all.’
‘Okay. So here’s the deal. Get better by the weekend and we’ll go to Morgan’s Falls. You still love that place, right?’
‘Yes, Mom. I still love it.’
‘Good. Then that’s the deal. Sunday, Morgan’s Falls. So long as you get well.’
There was a long silence, then I heard Josie say, as though into her pillow:
‘Mom. If I get well, can we take Klara with us? Show her Morgan’s Falls? She’s only ever been outside once. And that was just around here.’
‘Of course Klara can come. But you’ll have to get well or none of this works. You understand, Josie?’
‘I understand, Mom. I have to sleep some more now.’
* * *
—
She woke up just before lunch, and I was going to tell Melania Housekeeper as I’d been instructed to do, but Josie said tiredly:
‘Klara? Have you been here the whole time I’ve been sleeping?’
‘Of course.’
‘Did you hear what Mom was saying about us going to Morgan’s Falls?’
‘Yes. And I’m very much hoping we’ll be able to go. But your mother said we’d go only if you were well enough.’
‘I’ll be okay. If I wanted, I could go this afternoon. Just tired, that’s all.’
‘What is this Morgan’s Falls, Josie?’
‘Beautiful is what it is. You’ll think it’s amazing. I’ll show you pictures later.’
Josie remained tired for much of the day. But in the late afternoon, once I raised the bedroom blinds to let the Sun’s pattern fall over her, she became noticeably stronger. Melania Housekeeper came up to see her then, and said Josie could get dressed so long as she promised to spend the rest of the day quietly. That was how we came to still be in the bedroom as the evening approached, when Josie produced a cardboard box from under her bed.
Klara and the Sun Page 8
