As the days continued and there was still no visit from Rick, Josie grew more quiet, and her signals became keep away ones. She still continued with her drawings in bed, but without Rick and the bubble game, her enthusiasm would quickly drain away, and often she’d toss unfinished pictures onto the floor, stretch out on the bed and stare at the ceiling.
One afternoon when she’d been staring in this way, I said to her: ‘If you liked, Josie, we could play the bubble game. If Josie would draw the pictures, I’d do my best to think of suitable words.’
She went on staring up at the air. Then she turned and said: ‘Look. That’s just not going to work. I don’t mind you listening in. But there’s no way you could do that instead of Rick. No way at all.’
‘I see. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have suggested…’
‘No. You shouldn’t have.’
As more days passed without a Rick visit, Josie grew lethargic, and I was concerned she was also growing weak again. It occurred to me this was the ideal time for the Sun to send his special help, and whenever his pattern in the bedroom altered suddenly, or when he burst out in the sky following an overcast spell, I’d watch with particular keenness. But though he continued unfailingly to send his normal nourishment, his special help didn’t come.
* * *
—
One morning I returned to the bedroom after taking down her breakfast tray, and found her propped up on her pillows, sketching busily with something like her old enthusiasm. She also had a serious expression I’d not seen before while working on a picture, and when I tried to make conversation, she didn’t reply. Once, as I was tidying the room and came near the bed, she adjusted her posture to prevent me glimpsing any part of her sheet.
After a time she tore out the page, screwed it into a tight ball and dropped it into a crevice in her duvet between herself and the wall. She then began a fresh drawing, her eyes large and tense. I sat on the Button Couch, this time facing towards her so she would know I was ready to converse whenever she wished to do so.
After almost an hour, she put down her sharp pencil and stared at her picture for some time.
‘Klara? See down there, bottom left drawer? Could you get me an envelope? One of the large padded ones?’
As I was crouching down by the drawer, I saw Josie raise her sharp pencil again, and from its movements I knew she was no longer drawing, but writing words. Then she folded the picture down the middle, placing a blank sheet between the halves to prevent smudging, took the padded envelope from me and carefully slid the picture inside. Peeling off the thin paper tape, she sealed the envelope, pressing its edge to make sure.
‘Glad that’s done,’ she said, turning the envelope in her hands as though it brought her comfort to do so. But as I began to move away from the bed, she suddenly held it towards me. ‘Would you put this in the same drawer you found the envelope? Lower left?’
‘Of course.’ I took it from her, but didn’t go immediately to the drawer. Instead I stood in the middle of the room, holding the envelope, and looked at her. ‘I wonder if this picture is a special gift from Josie to Rick.’
‘What makes you say that?’
‘It was just an estimate.’
‘Well, your estimate’s right. I wanted it to be for Rick. For when he next comes here.’
There was silence while she watched me, and I was uncertain if she was simply impatient for me to place the envelope in the drawer as she’d requested, or if she was waiting for me to say something more about Rick and his visits. In the end I said:
‘Perhaps he’ll come again soon.’
‘Perhaps he will. No sign of it though.’
‘I think Rick will be pleased to see the picture. He’ll see Josie took special care with it.’
‘I didn’t take special care.’ She flashed angry eyes. ‘I got bored and drew another picture. That’s all. But you’re right. It’s for Rick. Problem is, he’d have to come here to get it. And he doesn’t come any more.’
She went on staring at me. I remained standing in the middle of the room.
‘Josie,’ I said after a while. ‘If you like, I could take the drawing to him.’
Her eyes became surprised and also excited. ‘You mean, you’ll take it over to him? To his house?’
‘Yes. It’s only the neighbor house after all.’
‘I guess it wouldn’t be so weird you taking this to him. Other people’s AFs go on errands all the time, right?’
‘I’d be happy to go. I believe I’ll be able to find the correct trail to his house.’
‘And would you do it today? Before lunch?’
‘Whenever Josie wishes. If you like, I could take it to him now. Right away.’
‘You think that’s a good idea?’
I raised the padded envelope slightly. ‘I’d very much like to take Josie’s picture to Rick. It would be good for me to explore the outside. And if Rick receives this special picture, he may forgive Josie and be her best friend again.’
‘What do you mean, “forgive”? It’s for me to forgive him. That’s really dumb, Klara. I don’t think I want you to take this to him now.’
‘I’m sorry. It’s my error. I don’t understand yet the rules about forgiveness. Even so I think it will be best to take him the picture. I think he’d like it.’
Her anger faded from her face. ‘Okay. Go ahead. Take it.’ Then as I turned, she added quietly: ‘You’re probably right. I guess it is him who needs to forgive me.’
‘I’ll take it to him and we can see what he does.’
‘Okay.’ Then she smiled. ‘If he’s rude about it, you just tear it up, right?’ Her smile was almost like the smiles from before Morgan’s Falls. I smiled too then, and said: ‘I hope that won’t be necessary.’
She fell back onto her pillow in a jokey way. ‘Okay, go. I need a rest now.’
But as I was leaving the bedroom, the padded envelope held closely to me, she said suddenly: ‘Hey, Klara?’
‘Yes?’
‘It must be dull, right? Living here with a sick kid.’
She was still smiling, but I saw fear beneath the smile.
‘It’s never dull to be with Josie.’
‘You waited all that time for me in the store. I bet you’re wishing now you’d gone with some other kid.’
‘I’ve never wished such a thing. It was my wish to be Josie’s AF. And the wish came true.’
‘Yeah, but…’ She made a small laughing sound full of sadness. ‘But that was before you got here. I promised it would be great.’
‘I’m very happy here. I have no wish other than to be Josie’s AF.’
‘If I get better, we can go outside together all the time. We could go to the city, see my dad. Maybe he could take us to the other cities.’
‘Those are possibilities for the future. But Josie must know. I couldn’t have a better home than this one. Or a better child than Josie. I’m so glad I waited. That Manager allowed me to wait.’
Josie thought about this. Then when she smiled again, it was full of kindness, with no fear behind it. ‘So we’re friends, right? Best friends.’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Okay. Good. So remember. Don’t take any shit from Rick.’
I smiled too then, and held up the padded envelope to show I would take good care of it.
* * *
—
Melania Housekeeper expressed no objection to my going alone on an errand to Rick’s house. Nevertheless, as I crossed the loose stones towards the picture frame gate, she remained at the front door watching me, and only as I stepped into the first field did she go back inside.
I followed the informal trail and the ground soon became hard to predict, a soft step often coming straight after a hard one. The grass came up to my shoulders, and a fear entered my mind that I wou
ld lose my bearings. But this part of the field had been divided into orderly boxes, so that as I passed from one box into the next, I was able to see clearly those lined up ahead of me. Less helpful was the way the grass frequently sprang across me from one side or the other, but even this I quickly learned to control by holding out an arm. If I’d had both arms free, I’d have made even faster progress, but of course I was holding Josie’s envelope in one hand and couldn’t risk harming it. Then the tall grass finished around me and I was standing in front of Rick’s house.
While viewing from a distance, I’d already estimated that Rick’s house wasn’t as high-rank as Josie’s. Now I could see that many of its white paint boards had become gray – even brown in some places – and three of the windows were dark rectangles with no curtains or blinds within them. I went up a stairway of planks, each one bending under my tread, then onto a platform constructed from more such planks, this time with gaps between them through which I could see the muddy ground below. Near the house front door, pushed over to one side, was a refrigerator, its back fully exposed to passers-by, and I saw how spiders had made their homes within the complicated metal bracing. I’d paused to observe their delicate cobwebs when the front door opened – though I hadn’t pressed any button – and Rick came out onto the platform.
‘Excuse me,’ I said quickly. ‘I didn’t wish to take your privacy. I came on an important errand.’
He didn’t seem angry, but said nothing and went on watching me.
‘AFs often do important errands,’ I said. ‘Josie sent me on this one.’ I raised the envelope.
Excitement appeared suddenly in Rick’s face, then vanished again. ‘It’s good you came then,’ he said.
Perhaps he expected me simply to hand him the envelope, then go away. But I’d anticipated this possibility and made no move to offer it to him. We went on standing on the planks like that, facing one another, the wind moving through the gaps.
‘In that case,’ he said eventually, ‘I suppose you ought to come in. Be warned. It’s not fancy in here.’
The hallway had a dark wood floor, and we walked past an open trunk in which items such as broken lamps and single shoes had been placed. Rick led the way into a large room with a wide window looking out over the fields. The furniture wasn’t modern, and didn’t interconnect like that in the Open Plan: there was a heavy dark wardrobe, floor rugs with faded patterns, hard and soft chairs in different shapes and sizes. Of the many small pictures on the walls, some were photographs, others drawn by sharp pencil, and here too spiders had made homes in the corners of frames. There were books, round-face clocks, low tables. I could see navigation wouldn’t be easy, so selected a spot where the floor was relatively open, went to it and stood there with my back to the wide window.
‘Okay, so this is where we live,’ Rick said. ‘My mother and me.’
‘It’s kind of you to allow me in.’
‘I was watching you coming from upstairs. I’ll need to go back up soon.’ He gestured with just his eyes towards the ceiling. Then he said with sadness: ‘I suppose you noticed the smell.’
‘I’m not able to smell.’
‘Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I assumed smell would be an important faculty. I mean for safety. Burning, things like that.’
‘Perhaps for that reason B3s have been given limited smell. But I have none.’
‘Well that’s lucky for you just now. Because this place still smells. Even though I did the hall this morning. Did it over and over and over.’ Tears had appeared in his eyes, but he went on looking at me.
‘Rick’s mother isn’t well?’
‘You could say that. Though she’s not sick in the way Josie’s sick. I’d rather not talk about Mum if you don’t mind. How’s Josie these days?’
‘I’m afraid she’s no better.’
‘Worse?’
‘Perhaps not worse. But I believe her condition may be a very serious one.’
‘That’s what I was thinking.’ He sighed and sat down on the sofa facing me. ‘So she sent you here on an errand.’
‘Yes. She wanted me to give you this. She worked especially hard on it.’
I held out the envelope in such a way that he could receive it while still sitting on the sofa. But he rose to his feet, even though he’d only just sat down, and, taking the envelope, opened it carefully.
He gazed at the picture for some time, his face on the edge of smiling. ‘Rick and Josie forever,’ he said finally.
‘Is that what it says? Inside the bubble?’
‘Oh, I thought you’d seen it.’
‘Josie put it in the envelope without showing me.’
He went on looking at it for another moment, then turned the drawing for me to see.
It was unlike any I’d seen during the bubble games. Much of the sheet was filled with sharp-looking objects, many with angry protruding points, that had become tangled together into an impenetrable mesh. Josie had used pencils of many colors to create the mesh, but its overall effect was dark and forbidding. However, a clear tranquil space had been kept in the lower left-hand corner, where the figures of two small people could be seen, their backs to passers-by, walking away hand in hand. They were too stick-like to be identifiable other than as a boy and girl, but they seemed happy and lacking worries. There was a bubble just above them, but because it was without the usual tail or bubble dots, the words inside seemed more like a poster slogan, or taxi door ad, than the thoughts from either person’s mind.
‘So what do you think?’ he asked.
‘It’s very nice. I think it’s a kind picture.’
‘Yes. I suppose it is. And a kind message.’
Suddenly music and electronic voices came loudly from upstairs and annoyance appeared in Rick’s face. He rushed out of the room, still holding Josie’s picture.
‘Mum!’ he shouted out in the hall. ‘Mum! For God’s sake turn that down please!’
A voice from upstairs said something, then Rick called up more gently: ‘I’ll come up in a minute. Now please. Turn it down.’
The electronic sounds grew quieter, and when Rick came back into the large room, he was again looking at Josie’s picture.
‘Yes, it’s a kind picture. Say thanks to Josie for me.’
‘I think Josie was hoping Rick would come in person to say thank you.’
His smile faded. ‘But it’s not that simple, is it?’ he said. ‘You’re always there, taking it all in. So you know as well as I do. The way she keeps getting at me. There’s no reason a person has to take all that. She pushes it too far, then thinks it can all be fixed with a nice picture. Send the AF over with it. Well she has to understand. Things aren’t always that easily fixed.’
‘If Rick came to visit once more, I believe Josie may wish to apologize.’
‘Really? Look, I know Josie and my guess is she’s pretty convinced I’m the one who needs to do the apologizing.’
‘Josie and I have already had that very discussion. I believe she’s wishing to apologize to Rick.’
‘I suppose I was out of order too. But she can’t just keep saying all that about my mum. It’s not fair. My mother’s doing her best and she’s getting better.’
Although the version of Rick who’d opened the door and faced me on the platform had been much like the one who’d ignored me throughout his visits, it was interesting to see he’d now become much closer to the person I’d talked to at the interaction meeting after the other children had gone outside. In fact it was almost as if this version of Rick was meeting me for the first time since that afternoon and continuing the conversation we’d then started.
‘I agree Josie’s words were sometimes unkind,’ I said. ‘But that might be because Josie feels Rick’s mother holds Rick too closely. Too closely to allow Rick and Josie’s plan to become possible in the future.’
; ‘But why does Josie blame Mum all the time? It’s not fair.’
‘Josie worries about the plan. I think she believes Rick’s mother is reluctant to let Rick go because she fears the loneliness that would result for her.’
‘Look, you might be a very intelligent AF. But there’s a lot you don’t know. If you only ever listen to Josie’s side of things, you’ll never get the whole picture. And it’s not just about Mum. Josie’s always trying to trap me now.’
‘Trap you?’
‘You must have heard. She’s always doing it now. Either she accuses me of thinking about that stuff too much. Or she’s offended because I don’t think about her enough in that way. Always trapping me, whatever I say. She claims I’m always lusting after these girls I can see on my DS, then the next time she brings it up, and I don’t react, she says there’s something wrong with me, I’m not being natural. She keeps talking about how we knew each other too well when we were children and so the whole sex thing might not even work with us. Whatever I try to say or do, it’s wrong and I get trapped. And the way she goes on about Mum. It’s going too far. Plan or no plan, that’s just not fair.’
He sat down again, the Sun’s pattern falling across him. He placed Josie’s drawing carefully on the sofa space beside him, and though the sheet was face down, kept staring at it.
‘Anyway,’ he said quietly, ‘Josie’s ill now. None of this, our plan, none of it will count if she doesn’t get better soon. And the way it’s going…I don’t know what to think these days.’ He looked up at me. ‘Look, Klara. You’re supposed to be super-intelligent. So what’s your, you know, estimate? How ill is Josie?’
‘I believe, as I’ve said, that Josie’s illness is serious. It’s possible she could become so weak she will have to pass away, just as her sister did. But I believe there’s a way for her to become well again that the adults haven’t yet considered. I believe also that the situation is now urgent and we can’t keep waiting. Even if it seems rude, and taking privacy, it’s perhaps time to be active. I came here today, of course, because of my important errand. But I was also hoping Rick would give me some useful advice.’
Klara and the Sun Page 13
