‘You were always encouraging me, Mr Arthur,’ Rick said. ‘Right from when I first started getting into all this. So much of what you showed me back then forms the foundations of what you see there.’
‘That’s kind, Rick, but I’m sure it’s entirely unwarranted. Drone technology was never my area, and I doubt if I was ever of much help to you. But I appreciate you saying that.’
Through the window I could now see the Sun’s last patterns of the day falling across the black-suit women with bow ties, the theater’s waistcoat officials handing out leaflets, the bright costume couples, and the musicians with small guitars moving amidst the crowd, snatches of their music coming through the glass.
‘Hey, animal. Did your mother happen to say something to upset you? This isn’t like you, sitting there so quiet.’
‘I’m fine, Dad. I’m just not like a show, okay? I can’t sparkle and entertain all day. Sometimes I just want to sit and chill out.’
‘You know we do miss you, Paul,’ Miss Helen said. ‘Is it four years already? Oh look, even more people arriving. I wonder when they’ll let them go inside. It’s just as well there’s no traffic allowed through here. Where’s Chrissie now? Is she still out there?’
‘I see her, Mum. She’s still on her phone.’
‘I’m so glad she’s with us today. So reassuring. She’s such a good friend to me. And I do appreciate all of you too, being here like this, extending your support to Rick and to me.’ She looked around the table, appearing to make a special point of including me in her gaze. ‘I won’t pretend I’m not getting nervous. The hour being almost upon us. And not just on Rick’s account, if I’m honest. Did I ever tell you, Paul? The man we’re about to meet, he and I were once passionate. Not just for a weekend or a few months, but for years…’
‘Mum, please…’
‘Should you get a chance to talk with him, Paul, I think you’ll find you have certain things in common. For instance, he too has fascistic leanings. He always has done though I always tried not to notice…’
‘Mum, for God’s sake…’
‘Now, Helen, easy there,’ the Father said. ‘Are you implying that I…’
‘It’s only because of what you were saying a moment ago, Paul. About your community.’
‘No, Helen, I can’t have this. And in front of the kids too. What I was saying earlier has nothing to do with fascism. We have no aggressive agenda beyond defending ourselves should the need arise. Where you live, Helen, maybe you don’t have to worry yet, and I sincerely hope it’ll be that way for a long time. Where I am, it’s different.’
‘Then why, Dad, don’t you move out of there? Why keep living in a place with gangs and guns?’
The Father seemed pleased Josie had finally participated. ‘Because that’s my community, Josie. It’s not nearly as bad as this makes it sound. I like it there. I’m sharing my life with some very fine people, and most of them came down the same road I did. It’s become clear to all of us now, there are many different ways to lead a decent and full life.’
‘Are you saying, Dad, you’re glad you lost your job?’
‘In many ways, Josie, yes. And it’s not like I really lost my job. It’s all been part of the changes. Everyone’s had to find new ways to live their lives.’
‘I do apologize, Paul,’ Miss Helen said, ‘for suggesting you and your new friends were fascists. I shouldn’t have done so. It’s just that you did say you were all white people and all from the ranks of the former professional elites. You did say that. And that you were having to arm yourselves quite extensively against other types. Which does all sound a little on the fascistic side…’
‘Helen, I won’t have this. Josie knows it’s not that way, but I don’t like her even hearing you say it. I don’t like Rick hearing it either. It just isn’t true. There are different groups where we live, I’m not denying it. I didn’t make the rules and it’s just the way it naturally divided. And if another group won’t respect us, and what we have, they need to know they’ll have a fight on their hands.’
‘Mum’s way out of order,’ Rick said. ‘She’s getting anxious, that’s all. You’ll have to excuse her.’
‘Don’t worry, Rick. I’ve known your mother a long time and I’m very fond of her.’
‘His name is Vance,’ Miss Helen said. ‘The man we’re waiting to meet. Rick and I are so grateful you’re all here to lend moral support, but from here we’re on our own. Let me tell you, Paul, there was a time when Vance was quite besotted with me. Rick, darling, please don’t pull that face. Rick’s never met him, this was all before his time. Oh, there was that one occasion, I suppose, but that hardly counts. When you see him, Paul, I dare say you’ll wonder what on earth I saw in him. But I assure you, he was once even more handsome than you are. Oddly, the more success he had in life, the less handsome he became. Now he’s rich and influential and looks appalling. Still, I’ll try and see the handsome young man he once was within all those folds of flesh. I do wonder if he’ll do as much for me.’
‘What’s happening out there, animal? Can you see your mother?’
‘She’s still on her phone.’
‘I guess she’s mad at me. She probably won’t come back in so long as I’m sitting here.’
Perhaps the Father was hoping someone would contradict him, but no one did. Miss Helen even raised her eyebrows and made a short laughing sound. Then she said:
‘Nearly time, Rick darling. I suppose we ought to go out there now.’
When I heard her say this, a fear filled my mind; I was no longer certain that the effects from what had occurred in the yard weren’t growing more pronounced with the passing minutes, and that my new condition wouldn’t become obvious to everyone if I attempted to negotiate the unfamiliar terrain outdoors.
‘I do wonder,’ Miss Helen was saying, ‘when Vance suggested meeting outside a theater, if he realized there might be a show about to start and a crowd gathering. We should go out there. He might come early and the crowd will confuse him.’
Rick placed a hand on Josie’s shoulder and asked quietly: ‘Are you sure you’re okay, Josie?’
‘I swear I’m okay. So you go and do your best, Ricky boy. That’s what I’m wanting more than anything.’
‘That’s right,’ the Father said. ‘And just remember. You’ve got talent. Well, maybe we should all leave now.’
He rose to his feet, and as he did so, his gaze fell on me, examining me more carefully than would have been normal. I immediately became worried the others would notice, even though the incision was well hidden under my hair. Then the Father’s gaze moved once more to Josie.
‘Animal, we need to get you back. Let’s go and find your mother.’
* * *
—
As we came out of the sushi cafe, the Sun was making his final patterns for the day, and I let go of any small hope that he might send his special help in the short time remaining. I could now hear without hindrance the theater people’s voices and music, and noticed how the streetlight outside the theater entrance was becoming their main light source. Indeed, for a moment, I thought the theater people were trying to circle around the streetlight in a previously agreed formation, but then their pattern dissolved and I saw that the crowd’s shape was shifting randomly.
The Father and Miss Helen were a few paces in front of me, striding towards the crowd, while Rick and Josie were just behind, walking so close that had I been obliged to halt suddenly, they would have collided with me. I could hear Josie saying:
‘No, Rick, later. I’ll tell you about it then. Let’s just say for now Mom’s having one of her definitely weird days.’
‘But what did she say? What’s going on?’
‘Look, Ricky, it’s not what’s important right now. What’s important is this guy you’re about to meet and what you’re going to say to him.’
>
‘But I can see you’re upset…’
‘I’m not upset, Ricky. But I will get upset, absolutely upset, if you don’t focus and do your very best with this guy. This is important. Important for you and important for us.’
I’d thought that once I was no longer observing them through glass, the theater people would become more distinct. But now I was in their midst, their figures became more simplified, as if constructed out of cones and cylinders made from smooth card. Their clothes, for instance, were devoid of the usual creases and folds, and even their faces under the streetlight appeared to have been created by cleverly placing flat surfaces into complex arrangements to create a sense of contouring.
We kept walking until the noise was all around us. At one point I stopped and reached back for Josie’s arm, but she was no longer behind me. And even though I could hear her voice saying to Rick, ‘There’s Mom over there,’ when I turned to it, I saw neither Josie nor Rick, but a smooth forehead coming towards my own face. Someone pushed my back, though not unkindly, then I heard the Father’s voice, and turning again, I saw him and Miss Helen standing beside a stranger’s elbow. I could hear the Father saying:
‘I didn’t want to say this back there in front of the kids. But Helen, look. It’s all very well calling me a fascist. Call me what you want. But where you’re living now, it may not always remain so peaceful. You hear what happened in this very city last week? I’m not saying you’re in danger right now, but you need to think ahead. When I speak to Chrissie about this, she just shrugs. But you need to think about this. Think ahead about Rick, as much as about yourself.’
‘Oh, but I am thinking ahead, Paul. Why do you suppose we’re here today? Why do you suppose I’m looking left and right for my long-lost lover? I’m thinking ahead, and I’m planning, and if I’ve done so correctly, Rick will soon be elsewhere. And not, I hope, in any community barricading itself with weapons. I mean for Rick to do well, and for that I need Vance’s help. Oh where can he have got to? Perhaps he went to the wrong theater.’
‘Rick’s turned into a fine young man. I hope he’s able to find a path through this mess we’ve bequeathed to his generation. But if things don’t go so well, Helen, either for you or for him, then I want you to get in touch. I can find you both a place within our community.’
‘That’s very sweet of you, Paul. And I’m sorry if I was rude earlier. This might surprise you, but I’m not actually angry about the way we’ve become. If one child has more ability than another, then it’s only right the brighter one gets the opportunities. The responsibilities too. I accept that. But what I won’t accept is that Rick can’t have a decent life. I refuse to accept this world has become so cruel. Rick wasn’t lifted, but he can still go far, do very well.’
‘I wish him the very best. All I’m saying is that there are all kinds of ways to lead a successful life.’
Many faces had been pushing in around me, but now a new one appeared in front of the others and kept moving closer till it was almost touching mine. Only then did I recognize Rick and let out a sound of surprise.
‘Klara, do you know what’s up with Josie?’ he asked. ‘Did something happen earlier?’
‘I don’t know what was said between Josie and the Mother,’ I said. ‘But I have very good news. The task that was given to me, that evening you helped me reach Mr McBain’s barn. It’s now been completed. It was a task I so wished to complete, but for a long time I couldn’t see how to do so. Rick, it’s really been done.’
‘That’s wonderful. But I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.’
‘I can’t explain yet. And I was obliged to give up something. But that doesn’t matter at all, because now we can have hope again.’
Ever more cones and cylinders – or what appeared to be fragments of them – were squeezing into any spaces left around me. I then realized one of these fragments – a shape moving in to replace Rick – was in fact Josie. Once I’d recognized her, she became immediately more distinct, and I had no further difficulty holding her in my mind.
‘Hey, Klara, this here’s Cindy. She was waitressing our table earlier? She knows about your old store.’
There was a touch on my arm and I heard someone exclaim: ‘Hey, I used to love your store!’ When I turned towards the voice, I saw two tall funnels, one inserted into the other, the upper one tilting slightly forward towards me. When I smiled and said, ‘How do you do?’ the funnels went on:
‘I was telling your owner here. I walked past it last weekend and it’s become this furniture place? Hey, you know, I’m sure I saw you in that window once.’
‘Klara wants to know where they moved to. Cindy, do you know?’
‘Oh. I’m not sure if they moved…’
Someone was tugging my arm, but before me now were so many fragments they appeared like a solid wall. I’d also started to suspect that many of these shapes weren’t really even three-dimensional, but had been sketched onto flat surfaces using clever shading techniques to give the illusion of roundness and depth. I then realized that the figure now beside me, leading me away, was the Mother. She was saying, almost into my ear:
‘Klara, I know we said a lot of things earlier. In the car, I mean. But you have to understand, I was thinking about three, four things at once. All I’m saying is don’t take too seriously anything we said. You understand, right?’
‘You mean, when we were in the car alone? When we were parked near the bridge?’
‘Yes, that’s what I mean. I’m not saying we’re going back on anything. But I’m just saying so you know, okay? Oh, this whole thing’s getting so confusing. And Paul doesn’t help. Look at him. What’s he telling her now?’
Not far from us, the Father was leaning forward so that his face was close to Josie’s, saying something earnestly.
‘He’s so full of shit these days,’ the Mother said, and began to go to them. But before she could do so, an arm came out of the crowd and grasped her wrist.
‘Chrissie,’ Miss Helen’s voice said, ‘leave them alone for another minute. They don’t get to be together much these days.’
‘Paul’s distributed his brand of wisdom quite enough for one day, it seems to me,’ the Mother said. ‘And now look. They’re quarreling.’
‘They’re not quarreling, Chrissie. I assure you they’re not. So let them talk to each other.’
‘Helen, I really don’t need you to interpret for me. I can still read my own daughter and husband.’
‘Ex-husband, Chrissie. And exes are unfathomable, as I’m having underlined this very moment. Vance swore he’d not keep us waiting, and now look. We weren’t married, as you and Paul were, so the bitter aftertaste has a different flavor. But don’t underestimate it, Chrissie. I haven’t seen him in fourteen years, and then only fleetingly quite by chance. Is it possible we passed each other in this crowd and didn’t recognize one another?’
‘Do you regret it, Helen?’ the Mother asked suddenly. ‘You know what I mean. Do you regret it? Not going ahead with Rick?’
For a moment Miss Helen kept looking towards where the Father and Josie were talking to one another. Then she said: ‘Yes. If I’m honest, Chrissie, the answer’s yes. Even after seeing what it’s brought you. I feel…I feel I didn’t do my best for him. I feel I didn’t even think it through, the way you and Paul did. I was somewhere else in my mind and I just let the moment go past. Perhaps that’s what I regret more than anything else. That I never loved him enough to make a proper decision one way or the other.’
‘It’s okay.’ The Mother placed a gentle hand on Miss Helen’s upper arm. ‘It’s okay. It’s difficult, I know that.’
‘But I’m doing my best now. I’m doing my best for him this time round. I just need Former Lover to turn up. Oh! That’s him there. Vance! Vance! Excuse me…’
‘Would you care to sign our petition?’ The m
an who had appeared in front of the Mother had a white-painted face and black hair. The Mother took a quick step back, as if the white-face material would come off on her, and said: ‘What’s it about?’
‘We’re protesting the proposal to clear the Oxford Building. There’s currently four hundred and twenty-three post-employed people living inside it, eighty-six of them children. Neither Lexdell nor the city have offered any reasonable plan regarding their relocation.’
I didn’t hear any more of what the black-and-white man was saying to the Mother because the Father moved in front of me and said to her:
‘Jesus, Chrissie, what have you been saying to our daughter?’ He was keeping his voice down, but he sounded annoyed. ‘She’s acting really strange. Did you by any chance tell her?’
‘I didn’t, Paul, no.’ The Mother’s voice was uncharacteristically uncertain. ‘At least, not about…all of that.’
‘So what exactly did you…’
‘We just talked about the portrait, that was all. We can’t keep everything hidden from her. She suspects so many things, and if we don’t speak to her about any of it, we’ll lose her trust.’
‘You told her about the portrait?’
‘I only told her it wasn’t a painting. That it was a kind of sculpture. She remembers Sal’s doll, of course…’
‘Jesus Christ, I thought we agreed…’
‘Josie isn’t a small child, Paul. She can figure things out. And she’s right to expect us to talk to her honestly…’
‘Rick!’ I recognized Miss Helen’s voice behind me. ‘Rick! Come on! Vance is here, I’ve found him. Come and say hello. Oh, Chrissie, I want you to meet Vance. A dear old friend. Here he is.’
Mr Vance was wearing a high-rank suit with a buttoned-up white shirt and blue tie. He was as bald as Mr Capaldi and less in height than Miss Helen. He was looking all around himself as though puzzled.
Klara and the Sun Page 22
