‘Listen, Rick,’ the Mother said. ‘Never mind what else happened last night, your work, your portfolio, got a thumbs up. You have to take heart from that. That’s all the more reason to believe in yourself.’
‘Mom, please,’ Josie said. ‘Rick doesn’t need big lectures just now.’ The adults couldn’t see, but she tightened her grip on Rick’s hand, and once again smiled at him. He gazed back at Josie, then said:
‘I appreciate that, Mrs Arthur. You’re always being kind to me. Thank you.’
‘There’s no telling,’ Miss Helen said. ‘No telling with Vance.’
I’d been aware for a few moments of the tall building now approaching on my side. It shared some characteristics with the RPO Building, but if anything was even taller, and because the traffic had slowed right down, I could study it carefully. The Sun was casting his rays onto its front, and one section of it had become like the Sun’s mirror, throwing back an intense reflection of his morning light. The building’s many windows had been organized into rows, vertical and horizontal, and yet the result was disorder, the rows often lining up crookedly, sometimes even running into each other. Within some of the windows, I saw office workers moving across, sometimes coming right up to the glass to gaze down at the street. But many of the windows were hard to see at all because of a gray mist drifting past them, and then in the next instant, as the Mother brought the car forward a little more, I saw through a gap between neighboring vehicles the Machine, sitting in its own space, protected from the oncoming traffic by the overhaul men’s barriers. The Machine was pumping out Pollution from its three funnels, and the start of its name – the letters ‘C-O-O’ – was there on its body. And even as I felt disappointment flood my mind, I was able to observe that this was not the same machine the Father and I had destroyed in the yard. Its body was a different shade of yellow, its dimensions a little greater – and its ability to create Pollution more than a match for the first Cootings Machine.
‘Just wait and see now, Helen,’ the Mother said. ‘Maybe there are other options for Rick anyway.’ We moved beyond the New Cootings Machine and the gray pollution mist drifted past the windshield, so that the Mother, noticing, muttered under her breath: ‘Look at this. How do they get away with it?’
‘Even if there were, Mom,’ Josie said, ‘would those be colleges you’d let me go to?’
‘I don’t understand why you and Rick need to go to the same college,’ the Mother said. ‘What are you? Married already? Young people go to all kinds of places, they can still keep in touch.’
‘Mom, do we have to talk about this right now? Rick really doesn’t need this.’
I turned to look back through the rear windshield. The tall building was still visible but the New Cootings Machine had become hidden by other vehicles. I now knew why the Sun hadn’t acted, and for a moment, I might have let my posture slump and my head hang down. Josie, leaning forward in her seat, looked at me.
‘See, Mom,’ she said, ‘you’ve upset Klara too. And she was upset enough, what with her store moving away. We need happy talk right now.’
PART FIVE
Josie began to lose her strength eleven days after our return from the city. At first this phase seemed no worse than the ones she’d gone through before, but then came new signs, such as strange breathing, and her semi-waking in the morning, eyes open but empty. If during these spells I spoke to her, she wouldn’t respond, and the Mother took to coming up to the bedroom early each morning. And if Josie was in her semi-waking condition, the Mother would stand over the bed, repeating under her breath, ‘Josie, Josie, Josie,’ as though this were part of a song she was memorizing.
There were better days when Josie sat up in bed and talked, even received tutorials on her oblong, but there were others when she just slept hour after hour. Dr Ryan began coming every day, his expression no longer smiling. The Mother went to her work later and later in the mornings, and she and Dr Ryan would have long conversations in the Open Plan with the sliding doors closed.
It had been agreed, during the better days immediately after our city visit, that I would assist Rick with his studies, so he came often to the house during this period. But as Josie grew worse, he lost interest in the lessons, and took to hovering in the hall, waiting for the Mother or Melania Housekeeper to call him up to the bedroom. Even if this occurred, he wasn’t permitted any more than a few minutes standing just inside the doorway, looking at Josie’s sleeping figure. Once, when he was watching in this way, Josie opened her eyes and smiled.
‘Hey, Rick. Sorry. Too tired to draw pictures today.’
‘That’s okay. You just keep resting, you’ll be fine.’
‘How are your birds, Rick?’
‘My birds are fine, Josie. They’re coming on fine.’
That was all they were able to say before Josie’s eyes closed again.
After that occasion, because Rick seemed so discouraged, I walked with him down the stairs and out the front door. We then stood on the loose stones together, looking at the gray sky. I could see he wanted to talk further, but perhaps aware we could be heard from the bedroom, he remained silent, prodding the stones with the toe of his sports shoe. So I asked, ‘Would Rick perhaps walk with me a little?’ and indicated towards the picture frame gate.
When we stepped into the first field, I saw that the grass was more yellow than it had been the evening we’d crossed to Mr McBain’s barn. We walked slowly along the first part of the informal trail, the wind intermittently parting the grass to allow glimpses of Rick’s house in the distance.
We reached a spot where the informal trail widened into a kind of outdoor room, and there Rick stopped and turned to face me, the grass rustling around us.
‘Josie’s never been this bad before,’ he said, looking down at the ground. ‘You kept saying there was reason to hope. You kept saying it like there was a special reason. So you had me hoping too.’
‘I’m sorry. Perhaps Rick is angry. The truth is, I’ve been disappointed too. Even so, I believe there’s still reason for hope.’
‘Come on, Klara. She’s just getting worse. The doctor, Mrs Arthur, you can see it. They’ve just about given up hoping.’
‘Even so, I believe there’s still hope. I believe help might come from a place the adults haven’t yet considered. But we need to do something now quickly.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about here, Klara. I guess it’s to do with this big deal you can’t share with anyone else.’
‘To be truthful, ever since we returned from the city, I’ve been unsure. I was waiting and hesitating, hoping the special help would come regardless. But now I believe the only right course must be for me to go back and explain. If I made a special plea…But I shouldn’t talk any more about this. I need Rick to trust me once more. I need again to go to Mr McBain’s barn.’
‘So you want me to carry you again?’
‘I must go as soon as possible. If Rick isn’t able to take me, I’ll try on my own.’
‘Whoa, hold on. Of course I’ll help. I don’t see how this helps Josie, but if you say it will, then of course I’ll help.’
‘Thank you! Then we must go without delay, this evening. And like the last time, we must get there just as the Sun is going down to his rest. Rick must meet me here, this same spot, at seven fifteen this evening. Will you please do that?’
‘Hundred percent I will.’
‘Thank you. There’s one thing further. When I reach the barn, I’ll of course offer my apologies. It was my error, I underestimated my task. But I must also have something else, something extra with which to plead. This is why I must ask Rick now, even though it might be stealing privacy. You must tell me if the love between Rick and Josie is genuine, if it’s a true and lasting one. I must know this. Because if the answer is yes, then I’ll have something to bargain with, regardless of what occurred in the city.
So please think carefully, Rick, and tell me the truth.’
‘I don’t need to think. Josie and I grew up together and we’re part of each other. And we’ve got our plan. So of course our love’s genuine and forever. And it won’t make any difference to us who’s been lifted and who hasn’t. That’s your answer, Klara, and there won’t be any other.’
‘Thank you. Now I have something very special. So please, don’t forget. Meet me here again at seven fifteen. This very place where we’re standing.’
* * *
—
Now I was more accustomed to riding on Rick’s back, I often reached out a free hand to help part the grass. Not only was the grass more yellow than on our previous journey, it was more soft and yielding, and even the clouds of evening insects broke kindly against my face as we passed through them. This time the fields never became partitioned, and once the third picture frame gate was behind us, I had a clear view ahead of Mr McBain’s barn, the wide orange sky above it – and the Sun already close to the top of the roof’s triangle.
As we came into the low-cut grass area, I asked Rick to stop and let me down. Then, as he and I stood watching the Sun sink lower and lower, the barn’s shadow, as it had the last time, came stretching towards us across the weave-patterned grass. Once the Sun went behind the barn’s roof structure, I remembered how important it was not to take any more privacy than necessary, and asked Rick to leave me.
‘What goes on inside there?’ he asked, but before I could give any sort of response, he touched my shoulder kindly and said: ‘I’ll be waiting. Same place I was last time.’
Then he was gone, and I was alone, waiting for the Sun to reappear below the roof level and send his last rays to me through the barn. It occurred to me then not only that the Sun might be angry about my failure in the city, but also that this could well be my final chance to beg for his special help – and I thought about what it might mean for Josie if I failed. Fear entered my mind, but then I remembered his great kindness, and I walked without further hesitation towards Mr McBain’s barn.
* * *
—
As before, the barn was filled with orange light, and it was hard at first to see my surroundings. But I soon discerned the blocks of hay stacked up to my left, and I could see the low wall they formed had become even lower. There were the same particles of hay caught within the Sun’s rays, but instead of drifting gently in the air, they were now moving agitatedly as if one of the hay blocks had recently crashed down onto the hard wood floor and disintegrated. When I reached up to touch these moving particles, I noticed how my fingers cast shadows stretching all the way back to the barn’s entrance.
Beyond the hay blocks was the real wall of the barn, and I was pleased to see the Red Shelves from our old store still attached to it, though this evening they’d become crooked, slanting noticeably towards the rear of the building. The ceramic coffee cups had maintained their orderly line, but there were also signs of confusion: for instance, further on the same tier, I could see an object that was unmistakably Melania Housekeeper’s food blender.
I remembered how the last time I’d waited for the Sun, I’d sat on a metal foldaway chair, and turned towards the other side of the barn, hoping to see again not only the chair, but also the front alcove of our store – and perhaps even an AF standing proudly within it. What I actually saw was the Sun’s rays streaming by before me, following a near-horizontal trajectory, from the rear entrance to the front one. It was almost as if I were watching passing traffic in a busy street, and when I managed to throw my gaze over to the further side, I found it had been partitioned into numerous boxes of uneven dimensions. Only after a few seconds did I spot the metal foldaway chair – or rather, various parts of it within several of the boxes – and recalling how much comfort it had brought me the last time, I began to move towards it. But no sooner had I stepped into the Sun’s rays, it occurred to me that if I wished to catch his attention before he moved on, I’d have to act without delay. So I began forming words inside my mind, even as I stood there caught in the intense light.
‘You must be so tired, and I’m very sorry to disturb you. You’ll remember, I came here once before in the summer, when you were so kind and gave me a few minutes of your time. I’m daring now to return this evening to discuss the same very important matter.’
These words had barely shaped themselves when the memory came into my mind of that day of Josie’s interaction meeting, and the angry mother striding into the Open Plan shouting: ‘Danny’s right! You shouldn’t be here at all!’ Almost simultaneously I noticed, in one of the boxes to my right, angry cartoon writing like that I’d seen from the car on a building in the city. Regardless, I let more half-formed words rush through my mind.
‘I know I’ve no right to come here like this. And I know the Sun must be angry with me. I let him down, failing completely to stop Pollution. In fact I see now how very foolish I was in not considering there’d be a second terrible machine to allow Pollution to continue without a pause. But the Sun was watching at the yard that day, so he will know how hard I tried, and how I made my sacrifice, which I was only too pleased to do, even if now my abilities aren’t perhaps what they were. And you must have seen how the Father too helped and did his utmost, even though he knew nothing about the Sun’s kind agreement, because he saw my hope and placed his faith in it. I sincerely apologize for underestimating my task. It was my error and no one else’s, and though the Sun is right to be angry with me, I’m asking he accept that Josie herself is completely innocent. Like the Father, she never knew about my agreement with the Sun, and still has no idea. And now she’s becoming weaker and weaker each day. I’ve come here this evening like this because I’ve never forgotten how kind the Sun can be. If only he would show his great compassion to Josie, as he did that day to Beggar Man and his dog. If only he’d send Josie the special nourishment she so desperately requires.’
As these words swept through my mind, I thought of the terrible bull on the way up to Morgan’s Falls, of its horns and its cold eyes, and of the feeling I’d had at that moment of some great error having been made to allow a creature so filled with anger to stand unconstrained up on the sunny grass. I heard the Mother’s voice, somewhere behind me on the path, shout: ‘No, Paul, not now and not in this goddam car!’ and saw the lonely woman sitting by herself in Mr Vance’s diner, unnoticed even by the Diner Manager, pressing her forehead against the window towards the dark street outside, and it occurred to me how very much the woman resembled Rosa. But I realized I couldn’t afford to become distracted, that the Sun was likely to leave at any moment, and so I let more thoughts stream through my mind, no longer shaping them into formal words.
‘I don’t mind that I lost precious fluid. I’d willingly have given more, given it all, if it meant your providing special help to Josie. As you know, since I was last here, I’ve discovered about the other way to save Josie, and if that was all that was left, I’d do my very utmost. But I’m not yet certain the other way would work, however hard I tried, and so my deep wish now is that the Sun will show his great kindness once more.’
The hand I’d been holding out whilst crossing the Sun’s rays made contact with something hard and I realized I was clutching the frame of the metal foldaway chair. I felt happiness to have found it again, but didn’t sit down in case it appeared disrespectful. Instead, I steadied myself behind it, holding its back with both hands.
The Sun’s rays coming from the back of the barn were too intense to face directly, so though it might seem rude, I turned my gaze once more to the drifting shapes to my right, perhaps hoping to glimpse Rosa sitting in the lonely diner booth. But now the Sun’s pattern had fallen across the front alcove, momentarily illuminating it, and I saw there not an AF, but a large oval-shaped photograph fixed to the wall. It showed a green field on a sunny day, dotted with sheep, and in the foreground, I recognized the four special sheep I
’d glimpsed from the Mother’s car returning from Morgan’s Falls. They seemed even more gentle than I’d remembered, lined up as they were in a neat row, their heads lowered to partake of the grass. These creatures had filled me with happiness that day, helping to erase the memory of the terrible bull, and I was pleased to see them again, if only in this oval photograph. But something was wrong: although the four sheep were positioned in a line in just the same formation I’d seen from the car, here they’d become oddly suspended, so they no longer appeared to stand on the surface of the ground. As a result, when they stretched down to eat, their mouths couldn’t reach the grass, giving these creatures, so happy on the day, a mood of sadness.
‘Please don’t go away just yet,’ I said. ‘Please give me one more brief moment. I know I failed to perform the service I promised you in the city and I’ve no right to ask anything further of you. But I’m remembering how delighted you were that day Coffee Cup Lady and Raincoat Man found each other again. You were so delighted and couldn’t help showing it. So I know just how much it matters to you that people who love one another are brought together, even after many years. I know the Sun always wishes them well, perhaps even helps them to find each other. Please then consider Josie and Rick. They’re still very young. Should Josie pass away now, they’ll be parted forever. If only you could give her special nourishment, as I saw you do for Beggar Man and his dog, then Josie and Rick could go together into their adult lives just as they wished for in their kind picture. I can myself vouch that their love is strong and lasting, just like that of Coffee Cup Lady and Raincoat Man.’
Klara and the Sun Page 25
