Clarissa swallowed. Without Tatyana, Clarissa would never consider this. She didn’t have enough dominance in her to go traipsing into meetings where the Alpha didn’t command her presence. With Tatyana? She could probably pull this off.
“Congratulations on the baby.”
Tatyana smiled. “Thank you. I’m utterly terrified.”
The pack was going to be so happy. The Alpha’s mate pregnant was always cause for celebration. “You’re going to be a great mother.”
“Mate,” Robert shouted as they entered the door. “Tell me you haven’t done what I think you’ve done.”
She smiled sweetly, and Clarissa tried not to hold her breath. “If you think I told Clarissa she was the perfect person to go on this quest with all of you, then you’d be correct. Anything else you were wrong. You tell me.”
Robert groaned, and August rose to his feet slowly. “I will not risk you.”
“Well,” Clarissa said, finding her voice, “I would not risk you either. I can help you with this. You’re not getting it done without me.”
Dougal was the next to speak. “We’ll be going into the place where you had problems with the drugs. Do you think you can manage?”
“Not to take the dragon drugs? Yes. I think so. I won’t be alone. I can’t imagine wanting to fall back in that pit. Even in my worst moments.”
Homer made a sound of agreement. “Yes, she’d have to really be low to go back. I’ve had very bad moments and resisted. She’d be with us. Not alone.”
August held her gaze across the room. “Why does it have to be you?”
“Because I know the dealers. They know me. They don’t know you, so they won’t trust you. There’s little law, but those who try to keep order hate them. The dealers don’t want to be killed. They’ll see you as a threat.” She sighed. “I can help. I can.”
“I think you can,” Robert finally spoke. “But you’re my brother’s mate. I defer to him.”
Ultimately, August couldn’t stop her from going. Robbie could. She didn’t move. August had no ability to forbid her anything she wanted to do—except that their life at home together could go from happy to miserable in a second. She didn’t want that.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “You stay by me the whole time.”
She nodded. “Okay. Except when I’m dealing with the drugs. You can’t be with me and the dealers. That would negate the point.”
Poor August. She could smell his frustration all the way across the room. Better they sort this out now than later when it mattered. He leaped over the desk he sat behind and strode toward her. Clarissa’s heart rate skyrocketed. What was he going to?
His mouth met hers, hard. “This is because Tatyana’s pregnant, isn’t it? You’re also a healer. That’s what’s not being said.”
Robert laughed. “So much for keeping anything a secret.”
His mate groaned. “Like they all wouldn’t have been smelling it by tomorrow anyway. August always had the best sense of smell of any of you.”
Someday, when things weren’t quite this confusing, Clarissa was going to find out how Tatyana knew all the things she did. Being human didn’t make her… psychic did it?
Questions for another time.
The cheer in the room for the Alpha’s news echoed off the walls. August stared into her eyes. “Did you think I would hurt you?”
She forced herself to speak. There could only be truth between them. “I was afraid for a second. Fear isn’t always rational.”
“No, it’s not. Probably doesn’t help I am covered in blood and look half deranged.”
Clarissa snorted. August was letting her off the hook. “You know I have to do this.”
“You don’t have to. You want to. Maybe you need to. That’s more important. ‘Have to’ is often things we’d rather have nothing to do with. The point is you wish to help. Okay. We’ll do this thing. Together. And then I may never let you out of the boundaries of this pack ever again.”
When they were done, she might never want to leave.
She’d expected August to have trouble sleeping after his abrupt wake up, but after making love to her twice with almost no down time in between, he was out cold. She’d taken her space on top of him as usual but rolled over a bit later. He was showered, the evidence of the battle gone from his body.
Dougal hadn’t been wrong to question whether this was a smart move on her behalf. It was easy to stay off the dragon drugs when there were none available. It was going to be quite different being back there.
August rolled over, seeking her, and didn’t settle down until she was back in place on top of him. Clarissa oomphed. In his sleep, he wasn’t gentle. That was fine. She didn’t want or need space, just clarity.
Was this going to beat her for the rest of her life? Would she always be at the will of her own weakness?
Outside, wolves howled. She gasped at the sound and listened as Auggie’s breathing changed. He was awake. Finally, he spoke. “They’re coming down from the adrenaline. It’s a lot. Sometimes fighters just have to let it out, and that’s the only way to do it.”
That made sense. “What did you do to relieve the stress?”
“Nothing.” He ran his hand over her back. “When I was in the war, I just tried to sleep, eat, stare at the moon. Whatever.”
Even with Robert there, he had been so alone. But then, she knew how it was to be alone in a crowd.
“All I could think today was there were dragons and they were going to destroy everything. I’d brought them here, somehow. The really smart ones can track forever. I… I won’t be responsible for losing this place. If we can’t beat them, I’ll go.”
She grew very still, his words sinking in. “August, there is nowhere you could go that I wouldn’t go with you. You are much more important than where.”
He let out a small sigh. “I needed to hear that. I didn’t know I did. But I did.” He kissed her cheek, the sounds of the howling moving through the night. “Snuggle down further. Switch with me tonight. I want my body between you and the rest of the world.”
That was funny. She wanted to put her body between August and the universe. He was raw right now. She didn’t argue. Loving him meant knowing when he had to have his way.
This was one of those times.
7
The next morning dawned fast. They were leaving. There was no time to waste, and as a small party of ten wolves, they were going to head straight for the dragons. The beasts had to know they’d be heading straight for them after the assault they’d dealt on the pack. The idea was to sneak out as a small group instead of tearing forward in a large pack assault that the dragons would be expecting.
August would have preferred to go by himself altogether. He’d made this mess. He’d fix it.
His brother, however, wouldn’t allow it. They were pack. They handled these messes together. August didn’t want to leave the pack, and disobeying Robert meant the end of pack life for Auggie. He liked how it felt to see his mate surrounded by pack. When the dragons had attacked, he’d known she’d be protected.
As it was, she’d actually been the one doing the protecting.
He reached out to rub her back. There was a particular spot along her spine that made her eyes go dreamy when he touched it. So he did that all the time.
She turned toward him, her face in the early morning sun really making her look angelic. There was a reason he called her Angel Face. The nickname fit.
“I love you, August Owens. I want you to know that.”
His world stopped. Time paused all around him. She loved him?
Clarissa was his mate. That had been instant. She belonged to him, and he would care for her until the day he stopped breathing. If there was an afterlife, he’d see to it that she was with him there, too, someday. But loved him? That was something else.
He loved her completely. She was smart, strong, funny, caring—a survivor. He’d never known a female who could hold a candle to her. She was everythin
g. She loved him? Why? He really wasn’t worthy of her. He kept screwing up. Wolves had died because he wasn’t…
Oh no, he’d waited too long. Homer, Dougal, Oliver, Dwayne, James, and Nehemiah were there. He knew all of them. In addition to his brother, the others had served in the elite squad with him. They were all talking and Clarissa said something back to them, laughing when she did.
He hadn’t said it back. Now they had a crowd. He’d completely blown the moment. When your mate, who you loved, said I love you, you damned well said it back.
And he hadn’t.
She kissed his cheek. “Come on, guys. Let’s get this over with.”
Nehemiah patted him on the arm. “Do you remember the time we scaled a mountain to look for a dragon lair in our human form? We did it because there was no way to do it on four legs only to find that there was nothing up there at all?”
“Yes.”
That, he could find his voice for?
His mate glowed in the sunlight. Yes, he loved her, and the second they were alone again, he was going to tell her.
They staked out the cave entrances, trying to find a way in. If he could figure out how to spare his mate from interacting with the drug dealers, he would do that. She’d been quiet. He didn’t know if it was because they were back where she’d been so desperate. This was where she was going to throw herself into decline. Was she anxious about having to find the people who had helped keep her in that condition? Was she upset because he hadn’t said I love you?
Every conceivable entrance was closed. How had the dragons gotten out to attack? There was no way they had left all those eggs without any protection. Not if one of them really had the queen. August gritted his teeth.
If Robert was here—and the Alpha didn’t leave his pack, so he couldn’t be—he’d have told him to relax and wait for the sign he needed to show itself. Only, that wasn’t happening, and August had never been very good at waiting for anything.
Over and over, he seemed to have to learn that lesson.
“What if we reverse engineer what happened to you?” His mate spoke in a low tone. “I found you in the river. The dragons can fly above it. They don’t have to swim. They may just come in and out of it that way now.”
He supposed that was a possibility. “We can’t climb up the waterfall I jumped down.”
“Maybe we can.” Dougal sighed. “There are ways to make that happen. I think, first, we see how the wolves who deal with the dragons are getting the drugs. We check it out.”
Hatred for that idea settled in Auggie’s stomach. He knew it was a possibility. That was why they’d brought Clarissa. Well, that and her healing skills.
But the truth was, he’d have easily made the case they didn’t need a healer. It wasn’t like Robert would have let Tatyana come without him, and Robert couldn’t come. Maybe let was the wrong word. They didn’t ‘let’ their mates do anything or not do anything. But Robert would have found a way to persuade Tatyana to not go, and August would have done the same.
It was this moment—the needing help from the wolves who had sold her drugs—that really had determined why he didn’t give her a hard time about coming.
It was a good plan.
She nodded, touching his arm gently when she stood. “I’m going to need the bag.”
Homer got up, retrieving it from where he’d stashed it behind a tree. “Smart to bring what you did.”
“She’s brilliant.” August didn’t know what she’d brought, but he was sure whatever it was would prove very useful.
She smiled at him before she pulled out clothes wrapped in a small bag. Took him a second to recognize what he saw. Those were the clothes she’d been in when he’d first found her. The scent of the dirt, the drugs, the pain hit him hard. He growled, his wolf surging to life at the push back into the past they had put behind them.
No, his mate was not supposed to smell like that anymore. That was how she’d been when she’d been dying.
She raised her eyes to meet his gaze. “August, I can’t smell clean and healthy. That’s as much a giveaway as you guys walking up and suddenly wanting to buy drugs. In these, I am who they need me to be.”
Words would fail him, so he didn’t say anything. She. Smelled. Wrong. They were all both human and wolf. Somehow he had to outthink this. Only he couldn’t. His ears rang. He wanted to tear those clothes off his mate’s body… and do things to her until she only wore his scent.
“Auggie?” Oliver called out to him.
Dougal hissed a response. “Leave him alone. Seriously. For a good long while, we are giving my brother some space.”
Clarissa looked down. No, he hated that, too. She met his gaze now. Putting on those clothes brought her back to a time when she couldn’t? They had to come off. He breathed through his nose.
His mate stepped back. “I’m going to go and come back. I’ll at least know where the dragons meet the dealers. Wait for me. I was basically alone here for years. I can handle myself.”
She turned and left. In a split second, he decided she couldn’t go. Fuck the not ‘letting’ her bit. His mate wasn’t going into danger without him and…
Dougal tackled him to the ground. His brother only had one hand, thanks to the dragons, and yet he was among the most capable wolves August had ever known.
“You can’t go with her. They’ll scent you. You’re new, and you’re scary. You can’t go.”
He fought Dougal’s hold.
“August Owens, brother, come back to yourself. Use your brain. This is a small thing. She’s not going into the dragon lair. She’s walking to town, then she’s coming back. Easy. I would hate this, too. I had to send Caitlyn from me and tell her to do such a good job hiding I wouldn’t be able to find her.”
“Dougal.” It was better when Auggie didn’t speak. Sometimes he kept quiet for everyone else’s safety. Sometimes there was nothing to say, and it was better not to utter a word than speak the wrong ones. Sometimes he had no control whatsoever. “Get off of me before I kill you and make your mate a widow and your children fatherless. You have no idea how dangerous I am.”
Dougal laughed. “You didn’t scare me when we were kids, and you don’t now. Besides, I’ve got eight other people here who will all pile on top of you if need be. She will be right back. The Knox women are amazingly resilient. You can burn the clothes when she gets back if you want to.”
He was going to tear them to shreds and then hold her until she never smelled like that again. “She almost died. In my arms. In those clothes.”
Homer squatted next to them. “If the gossip is to be believed, she saved your life in those clothes, too. They don’t make her weak.”
That was right. He stopped struggling, and Dougal let him go. “Two hours.”
Dougal shook his head. “You’re going to have to do better than that. It may take longer than two hours.”
“That’s how long until I go find my mate.”
That was the best he was going to do.
“Are you counting in your head?” Homer sat cross-legged watching him. Auggie paced. He had been since he decided that two hours would be his time limit. She had ten more minutes until he went and, yes, he’d been counting the seconds.
The wafting disgusting scent of the dragon drugs on his mate hit him like a brick thrown at his head. She appeared a few seconds later, and he rushed her. His wolf howled. Yes, their mate had come back, and she would not be doing anything like this again.
He hugged her to him. Gross clothes didn’t bother him. She was here. “How did it go?”
“Fine. I bought drugs.” With shaking hands, she gave them to him. “Take them, please.”
He took the plastic bag and shoved them in his pocket. He’d keep it for Tatyana in case she ever had to use the stuff again. Clarissa kept talking. “He’ll be out of product tonight. There was enough of a crowd that he’ll sell out. Follow him. He’ll go to the dragons.”
August kissed her head. “Good work.” He wan
ted to tell her he’d been scared, but he didn’t. Those were his feelings to deal with, not hers. Instead, he finally spoke what he should have said earlier, whispering in her ear. “I love you so much I don’t know how the world spun when I didn’t know you were my mate. It would never turn again without you.”
She shuddered, pressing her forehead into his shoulder. They stood there like that. His wolf was happy, tail wagging, smile on his face. He’d made this right. She knew now. That was the most important thing.
“I need to get out of these clothes and never get back into them.”
August nodded. “Yes.”
Stalking a drug dealer wasn’t something August had ever thought to do in his life, but as he trailed them, flanked by his mate and eight males he trusted, he had to admit the disreputable male did take steps to make sure he didn’t get involved with the law.
Clarissa called the drug dealer Mac, so they all referred to him that way. August doubted that was the male’s real name. Mac seemed like a good name to take if you didn’t want people to know who you really were.
Mac shifted and that meant only he was moving forward from here. “Homer, like the old days. Get everyone in position. I’ll go forward. Space between us. The usual amount. Silence all around.” He called his wolf to himself.
August could never be entirely sure what the canine would do in battle. But in stealth, he was certain he and his four-legged self would be on the same page. Neither one of them would make a sound.
He was downwind, which helped. During the war and if there was a dragon anywhere in the vicinity, he could do things to disguise his scent. Usually that meant someone nearby had to set a small fire. There was nothing like fire to distract everyone from what was going on. The fire took all their attention.
Mac in his wolf form was either an idiot or he overestimated his ability to not be tracked. Both were possible and not mutually exclusive. He stayed behind Mac by at least fifteen paces. August moved tree to tree, keeping himself blocked when he could. It was easier in his Wolf form than if he’d stayed human.
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