by C J Benjamin
“Mom, so much is changing. My life is so, so . . .” I struggled to find the right words, “much bigger than I am. I don’t know if I can be the Eva.”
“Geneva, you already are and you always were.”
“But I don’t know how to do all of this. I don’t know how to save an island and free its people. I’m just an orphan . . .” I trailed off, feeling guilty for saying I was an orphan in front of my mother. It wasn’t her fault I was alone.
“Darling, your destiny has already been written. You are the Eva because of who you already are, not who you will become. You were born into this role. You just need to be yourself. That’s why you were chosen. Believe in yourself and your choices and the rest will fall into place.”
She was right. That was my biggest problem. I always doubted myself. I let doubt, fear and guilt slip in too easily. I was doing so much better recently, since Nova, Journey and Sparrow came into my life. They taught me so much. They believed in me and their feelings were infectious. They gave me enough courage to seek the truth and fight for it, and that had led me here.
Now that I was here, at the edge of my true identity, I needed to have the courage to continue my journey. I don’t know whether it was the comfort from my mother or my new zest for life after narrowly escaping drowning in this cave, but I could feel my strength and steadiness returning.
“You’re right, Mom. I wanted the truth and now I have it. I guess it’s just not what I expected.”
Nesia smiled at me, that wise, kind, motherly smile that I’d been craving my whole life. “It never is, darling. There is so much greatness inside of you.”
“I wish I could see it,” I whispered more to myself than to her. But she’d heard me and replied. “You can . . .”
The cave around me unexpectedly came to life. The walls lit up and danced with dozens of colors that reflected gracefully off the water’s surface, unfolding the scenes of my life before me.
There were whirling visions of battles, victories, tragedies, betrayals, love and loss. Images of me, leading my friends, some of whom I didn’t know yet, into an uncertain future. I saw Remi and Nova, both by my side, yet I looked in turmoil as they tugged me in different directions. I saw Jemma and I embracing. We looked happy, like true sisters. Images blurred together and became one clear image of me; older and wiser. I was alone, but I was looking down at a peaceful Lux under a new, united flag. I seemed content that peace had been restored to Hullabee Island.
Could these visualizations be real? I wondered.
“They are all possible, Geneva. You will have many paths to choose from. Just know that none of them are wrong, because you were meant to lead your people on this quest. Only you can choose its course, my darling daughter.”
She had such love and confidence in her eyes when she spoke to me. We stared at each other in quiet solitude for a moment and I let my mother’s love wash over and through me. Filling me up, refueling my soul. She renewed my optimism. What was just a ray of hope, began to swell through me, washing away my fear of what was to come.
“Will you do something for me, darling?” Nesia asked.
“Yes, anything, Mom.”
“Give Jemma a chance, Geneva. You’ll need each other. And give her my love,” my mother said breaking my reverie.
She was no longer holding me. She started to back away and I reached for her.
“Please don’t go yet. I have so many more questions to ask.”
But she didn’t stop. She kept on drifting away from me. I rose to my feet and took a step toward her into the cold water that stifled my breath. The shivering ripples from my feet sent her drifting faster.
“No! Mom! Wait, please! What about Nova? And Remi?” I called out to her, still reaching.
Then a warm hand squeezed mine in return.
“I’m right here,” Remi’s reflection said to mine.
I turned to see Remi in front of me. He had no shirt on and his wet skin looked paler than ever as he glistened in the cave light. He looked so ethereal I was terrified he might be an illusion. I put my hand to his chest timidly at first. It felt warm. I pushed both hands into his skin and felt his blood pulsing hot beneath it. He was real. It was really Remi! I had never been so happy to see him and feel the realness of his soaking wet flesh and blood. I threw my arms around him and sobbed.
“Are you hurt?” Remi asked, looking me over at arm’s length.
“I’m fine,” I said, pulling myself back into his arms. “Just cold.”
He tightened his arms around me and whispered, “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay.”
He held me until the shivering stopped.
“Where’s Niv?” I asked when my teeth stopped chattering.
“I haven’t seen him,” Remi replied. “But I’m sure he’s fine,” he added when he saw the worried look on my face.
“Niv!” I called. “Niv! Where are you?”
I pulled away from Remi’s embrace. “We have to find him,” I pleaded.
“The benefits of being dumb enough to tether your soul to a rodent comes in handy sometimes,” he joked. “Niv probably saved you from drowning. He has to be alive if you’re alive.”
Remi continued talking when I didn’t respond to him.
“I saw you go under,” he said sounding haunted. “You didn’t come up for a really long time. I tried to get to you, but I ended up on the other side of the lagoon,” Remi said motioning to a part of the water that extended past the light.
“My mother saved me,” I said casually as I walked the shoreline looking for Niv and calling his name.
“What?” Remi said. “Your mother? Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked.
“Shhh!” I hissed. “I hear him.”
Sure enough we looked up to the mouth of the hole above the lagoon and saw Niv peering down at us. He was making all kinds of racket.
“Niv, it’s okay, buddy. We’re okay, but we need you to go get help. Can you go tell the others where we are? Go get Nova, okay?”
Niv twitched his nose in response and with a final squeak he retreated from the mouth of the hole to go get help for us. Remi was staring at me with a look of amusement on his face.
“Geneva, I know that you think the world of Niv, but he’s a marmouse. He doesn’t know how to go get help. We need to come up with a real plan to get out of here. I don’t think Nova is coming to our rescue this time,” he said, unable to hide his bitterness when he said Nova’s name.
“Listen Remi, we’ll be fine. Niv is on his way to tell the others right now.”
His blank stare reminded me that I never shared that I possessed a certain power. “Oh yeah, I’m an animyth,” I said.
Remi just blinked, staring back at me blankly.
“It means I can talk to animals. It’s one of my powers. Nova knows that and he’ll follow Niv. We’ll be okay.”
“Um, all right. I guess that’s just one more secret you forgot to share with me, but it’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard lately so sure, I’ll go with it.”
I found a dry spot to sit and settled down to wait. I patted the sand next to me, motioning for Remi to join me.
“So, anything else you need to fill me in on?” Remi asked.
I sighed. “Yes, actually a lot . . .”
I spent the next few hours filling Remi in on all he’d missed. We started at the very beginning and talked about everything. I told him how I’d first learned I had powers when Nova took me to the forest. And about our crazy training practices, some of which led to scuffles between Journey and me. We talked about how I learned I could talk to animals, and how I defeated Greeley by releasing her tarcats and turning them against her. And finally, we were caught up when I told him how I had seen Nesia in the mirror at the New Year Gala, and now again in this cave, where she saved me from drowning.
It felt really good to have my best friend back. Being trapped in a cave wasn’t the ideal day, but at least I was with Remi and it finally gave us some much needed tim
e to catch up. Remi and I had been through a lot together. He’d been my one and only friend my whole life, up until my whole life started changing. I’d always been able to count on him, but when I had to exclude him from my new secret life of magic and powers, it created a rift in our friendship. Since he managed to uncover our secrets and had a few of his own, we’d been working on patching up our friendship. I felt like for the first time, things were going back to normal. Well, as normal as things can be for an orphan with magical powers I guess . . .
I hadn’t realized how much I missed having Remi’s support. He truly understood me. I always felt comfortable enough to be myself around him. His friendship sustained me and it was exactly what I needed right now. Little by little, I was starting to feel whole again. My conversations today with my mother and Remi were a big part of that. I leaned into him and he hugged me. I sighed and looked up at him. Into those big brown eyes that knew me so well.
“Thank you, Remi,” I whispered to him. “You’re m—”
Before I knew what was happening, Remi’s hand was on my chin, pulling my lips to his. His kiss caught me completely off guard and my instinct was to pull away!
“REMI!” I shouted as I scrambled to my feet. “What was that?”
“I thought . . .” He stammered as he stood as well. “You were . . . We . . .”
My face burned bright red. Neither of us could look at each other. Remi paced back and forth sputtering words and I was staring at my feet trying to come up with an excuse to change the subject.
“Um, I think I’m going to go look for some firewood or something we can burn. It’ll be night soon and it’s probably going to get cold down here,” I said, trailing off as I walked away from Remi.
“Oh, good idea,” he said. “I’ll go this way.”
We walked off in different directions. I kept trying to catch inconspicuous glimpses of him. Remi was muttering under his breath, which he always did when he was frustrated. I sighed and tried to focus on finding some roots or wood to keep my mind occupied. It was no use though. Beside the fact that there wasn’t anything to burn, I couldn’t stop glancing at Remi and thinking about his kiss. Why had he done that? I wasn’t sending him mixed signals. At least I didn’t think I was. I was just about to tell him he was ‘my best friend’ when he kissed me! It was so out of the blue and so surprisingly . . . good! Nova was the only boy I kissed until now. He wasn’t my boyfriend, but I still felt guilty, because I wanted him to be. And I hadn’t wanted to kiss Remi. Except, now I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing Remi!
“Ugh! Maybe we can just forget this ever happened,” I muttered to myself.
Not much chance of that happening my heart replied.
I wandered aimlessly along the black sand shore, deep in thought.
Why can’t things just go back to how they were? Remi is supposed to be my best friend and Nova is supposed to be . . . well I don’t know what Nova’s supposed to be yet either. But now everything is so, so . . . blurry. Oh Remi, we were just starting to get back to how it was too!
I felt so confused. Remi and Nova were both so different, yet I needed them both equally. My mind instantly snapped back to the visions my mother had shown me of being torn between them. I tried to shake it off, but the visions stuck in a haunting way—like the afterglow of staring at the sun.
I was still stewing over the unexpected kiss when I heard Remi calling me.
“Geneva! I think I may have found a way out of here.”
Perfect! All I want to do right now is escape!
That thought motivated me to jog over to where Remi was standing. He’d found a small opening above the steep, glistening walls. You had to look at just the right angle to see where the fading light was sneaking in among the vines and rotting roots. It didn’t look promising, but we were out of options.
Maybe, if I could get out of this stupid cave, I could clear my head. Maybe the cave was making us both a little crazy. I was starting to feel claustrophobic down here and that can make people do strange things.
Remi was winding some vines around his wrists.
“Remi, those won’t hold you,” I said cautiously.
He wouldn’t meet my eyes, but he looked as desperate as I was to get out of the awkward air that was suffocating us in the cave.
“I think it might. I’ve got to at least try.”
“Why don’t you let me try? I really don’t think—Oh Remi!”
I didn’t even get to finish my sentence before one of the vines snapped, sending Remi skidding down the short distance he managed to climb.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine,” he sighed. “It was worth a try.”
I had a feeling he’d bruised his ego, more than his backside.
“Let me try. I’m lighter than you.”
“No, I don’t think it’s a good idea. They’re not as strong as I hoped and I already broke a few of them.”
“It’s worth a try,” I said, mimicking him while trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t seem to work. Remi just stepped aside so I could access the vines.
“Well, here goes nothing,” I said.
8
Niv scurried breathlessly back into the makeshift camp that Nova and the others set up. Journey and Sparrow were busying themselves collecting wood for a fire, while Eja sat nearby continuing to translate the Book of Secrets. Niv ran past them and headed straight to where Nova was comforting a distraught Jemma.
“She hates me. My own sister hates me!” Jemma sobbed.
“She doesn’t hate you, Jemma. You just need to give her some time. This is a lot of change for her. And for you.”
Jemma continued her self-absorbed crying, ignoring Nova’s efforts to calm her down.
“I can’t really blame her, can I? I’ve been awful to her. Just awful. And for years! My own sister!” She wailed as she paced anxiously past Nova.
Nova ran his hands through his golden hair in frustration. He felt bad for Jemma and could actually relate to how shell-shocked she must be, having lost his own little sister in the Flood. But he was about at his wit’s end with Jemma’s inconsolable weeping. He finally grabbed her shoulders and hugged her tightly, pinning her flapping arms to her side. This only made her breakdown further. If Nova thought she had been crying before, now the floodgates were really open. She shuddered and gulped in high-pitched breaths.
“She . . . hates . . . me!” Jemma sniveled into Nova’s taut shoulder.
“Take deep breaths, Jemma. Deep breaths. I know you think she hates you. And maybe she does, but all this crying isn’t helping. You need to just take a step back and think of it from Geneva’s point of view. Then maybe you’ll see how you can mend things with her.”
“I just wish I could tell her how much I loved her—still love her. I know I was awful to her. But I think it was because something about her always reminded me of my lost baby sister and it was too painful to face. I used mean remarks and teased her to shield myself from facing the pain of missing my family.”
Nova was stunned by Jemma’s moment of clarity. He leaned back and looked down at the raven-haired girl that was staining his chest with tears. He smiled at her with his dazzling grin and she obediently fell under his spell and smiled back, but only for a moment. She somehow broke through his trance and pulled away from him.
“Why are you smiling at me like that?” she demanded defensively.
“Jemma, you nailed it. You need to tell Geneva what you told me. Just tell her the truth. That’s all she’s ever wanted. No more secrets and lies. Just the truth. That you love her, you miss her and you’re sorry. She’ll have to appreciate that.”
Jemma smiled back at him again, and this time it was of her own free will.
“Thanks, Nova. You’re right. You really do want to help me, don’t you?” she asked timidly.
“Yes, Jemma, of course I do. I—hey! What the heck?”
Nova’s thoughts were interrupted by a furry intruder. Niv launched himsel
f between Jemma and Nova, chattering angrily and showing his teeth at Jemma. She squealed and tried to take shelter behind Nova. But that only angered Niv further. He snarled and spat at her until Nova motioned for her to take a few steps back. He crouched down to Niv’s level, trying to calm him.
“Niv! Buddy, it’s okay. What’s wrong with you? Where’s Tippy?”
Niv chattered rapidly to Nova and nipped at his hands as he ran a few feet away from him and twitched impatiently, waiting for him to follow.
“Jemma, something’s wrong with Tippy. She needs our help. Go get the others.”
I grabbed hold of the few scraggly vines that were left and tried to wind them together to make them stronger. Then, I wrapped them around my wrists like Remi had done and tried to pull myself up the slick cavernous wall.
“A little help here?” I asked Remi. “I could use a boost.”
He quietly hoisted me up. Once I got a good foothold, I was on my way. Remi was straining below me, trying to point out good hold positions for me. I was half way up, in the darkest part of the cave. The light at the narrow mouth was still far away and the light reflecting from the water below did nothing to illuminate the walls at this elevation.
“Remi, I can’t see anything up here. I think I need to cast an orb to light my way.”
“Okay. Be careful,” he called.
I took a few deep breaths and concentrated hard. I usually drew my orbs into my hands. I hadn’t ever cast one out of thin air purely by thinking about it. But it seemed like I should be able to. I remembered what Nova told me when we were in the locker. It was how he’d first discovered his powers. His light was born out of desperation. He kept thinking all he needed was light. He repeated that mantra over and over until it became a reality.
Okay, I can do this, I thought to myself. Light, Light, Light, LIGHT! And there was light! It burst forth so fast and bright that it temporarily blinded me. I had to close my eyes and let them slowly adjust to the bright orb that was radiating light through the cave.
