by C J Benjamin
“Who’s Kyo?’ I asked before I could stop myself.
Talon and Jovi stopped talking and looked sadly at their mother. She smiled and squeezed Talon’s outstretched hand.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so intrusive,” I said feeling the mood in the tent change.
“It’s all right,” Vida said tensely. “Why don’t we clean up and get started on the fittings?
I felt awful for killing the cheerful atmosphere. I helped the girls clear the table, while Vida sent the boys off to fetch more firewood. Jovi came to my side and slid her tiny hand into mine.
“Don’t feel bad, Geneva. Mom just doesn’t like to talk about Kyo.”
“I shouldn’t have asked. It was rude of me.”
“No, it’s really fine. Talon and I talk to each other about him all the time. He was our older brother. Talon says talking about him keeps him alive in our memory. And I like hearing about him. Kyo and my father both died in the Flood. My mom was pregnant with me, so I never got to meet them. Talon said that’s why she’s so uptight about obeying all the ancient traditions and following the rules. She’s afraid to upset the gods and have another Flood that will take the rest of us away from her.”
“I’m really sorry, Jovi.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. They’re all in a better place now. Besides, there are many that have it worse than we do. I think we’re pretty lucky. We still have a family and we get to live in this beautiful rainforest. Not locked away in an orphanage like you and your friends were.”
I looked at Jovi in awe. She was wise beyond her years. Even though she and her family had been through so much, she was still innocent and optimistic. She was refreshing and inspiring to me.
“Besides, you’re here now,” she said cheerfully. “And you’re the Eva. You can fix everything!”
Jovi’s words haunted me for the rest of the night. She reminded me how heavy the burden upon my shoulders was. So many Betos were looking up to me to save them and restore peace and equality to the island so they could come out of hiding. They’d all been suffering since the Flood, just like I had. I’m sure each of them had a story like Jovi’s or mine—family and friends ripped away from them, forever changing their hopes and dreams.
At dinner Vida and Talon explained to me how the tribe had split up into small groups after the Flood, continually traveling, never staying in one place for more than a night to minimize their risk of being found by Luxors. Luxors were the military arm of Lux. They had slaughtered or enslaved what was left of the Betos once flourishing tribe after the Flood. Many friends and family members were forced to split up in order to achieve the small mobile groups that were left. I felt the mounting pressure to help reunite them in the tone of our conversation. I sighed deeply as the heaviness in my chest took hold again.
“Ouch!” I squealed, when one of Vida’s pins poked through the thin red fabric she was draping around me.
“Darling, I need you to stand still. I hate to keep poking you,” Vida said.
“Sorry,” I apologized.
“It’s all right, darling.”
“My mother calls me darling,” I mused.
“Does she?” Vida asked sounding surprised.
I realized how crazy that probably sounded, since everyone knew I was an orphan. I hadn’t told anyone, except Remi, about speaking to my mother in these strange reflections and visions I’d been having. I wasn’t sure if I should share that information just yet.
“Well in my dreams,” I stammered trying to recover.
Vida just smiled and kept pinning.
“Vida, I never got to thank you for healing me after I fell into the cave. Sparrow said you helped set my arm and treat my wounds. She said you’ve been so kind, teaching her what you know about healing and taking all of us in. I’m really thankful for you.”
“It’s my pleasure, dear.”
“And your children are wonderful. I’ve only just met Talon, but he’s so diligent and I love spending time with Jovi. She’s energetic and smart.”
Vida smiled ruefully. “They take after their father I suppose.”
“I’m really sorry that you lost him and your son in the Flood. It was rude of me to—”
“Who told you I lost them in the Flood?” she questioned me harshly.
She stopped pinning and stared at me with fury in her piercing dark eyes.
“Um, Jo-Jovi,” I stuttered.
Vida was silent for a moment, collecting her breath and her thoughts. I was holding my own breath, waiting for her to yell at me for rudely prying into her private life. But, after a little while, she simply went back to pinning the fabric she had expertly draped around my waist. It left me flabbergasted. I would have preferred she yell at me and get it over with. The silent treatment was torturous. After a few minutes of drawn out silence, I couldn’t take it any longer.
“Vida, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have asked about your son or said anything about your husband. I didn’t mean to pry or assume anything . . . I just . . . sometime I just speak before I think and I . . . I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
“Geneva, I’m not mad at you.”
Vida looked like she wanted to say more, but she was hesitant. Finally she sighed deeply. “I guess I might as well tell you since you’re the Eva. Perhaps my secret can serve you somehow. But I will ask that you let it remain a secret for the protection of my children. Especially Jovi.”
I nodded.
“Kyo did die in the Flood, but not the way they think. He shouldn’t have died. We had enough warning and we got our whole family to safety in a cave that we designated as a meeting place for such situations. There were a lot of Betos from our camp there, but when Kyo realized his girlfriend Dayna wasn’t among them, he left to go in search of her. I begged and pleaded with him not to go, but he was blinded by young love and beyond reason. It broke my heart when he pulled free of my grasp and left the safety of the cave in search of Dayna. I knew I’d never see him again. And I never did,” Vida said mournfully.
“After the Flood we searched for them, but the island was so devastated, it was impossible to find anything. We retreated with the few Beto survivors there were and tried to figure out how to live in this unfamiliar land that we once called home. My husband was a great motivator and provider. He found himself helping and caring for others in the tribe and soon he was elected chief. He became the next Jaka and the responsibility to protect and provide for his people stole him from me.
“The land was barren and our people were divided. They were living like savages, only looking out for themselves. Our once harmonious tribe broke off into many smaller factions, all having separate chiefs and their own set of rules and motives. My husband knew it was imperative for our people’s survival that we all reunite as one tribe and help each other cultivate the rainforest. He was having success bringing all the small groups back together, but there was an altercation with the last sub-clan.
“They thought my husband was power hungry, trying to rule all the Betos. They rallied a charge against him. He tried to fight them with words, laying down his weapons as a show of good faith. All the other clan leaders were there to back him up and it almost worked, but at the last minute the rouge clan turned on them and slit my husband’s throat. The others were able to put down the rouge tribe, and in the end it’s what solidified the unification of the Betos back into one tribe, but it cost him his life.”
The tent was tensely silent after Vida finished telling me her dismal tale.
“So you see, Geneva, the Flood didn’t take my son or my husband, love and leadership did.”
“They were heroes,” I whispered as tears streamed down my cheeks.
“Don’t fool yourself. There’s nothing noble about dying, no matter what the reason. All it does is hurt the people that love you when you leave them.”
“But your husband . . . He saved the Betos by reuniting them as one tribe.”
“Yes, he was a great and selfless leader.
But to be those things, he had to stop being a great husband and a great father. Leaders shouldn’t have families, Geneva. I know you may think I sound selfish, but I’ve experienced it firsthand. We were liabilities for him. We were threatened and targeted by those wishing to manipulate him and cause him pain. We made him vulnerable . . .” she whispered, trailing off; her mind obviously reliving some sad past memory.
“Vida, I’m sorry for your losses. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose your husband and your son—”
“No, you can’t. And I hope you should never have to.”
There was a wild anger, burning in her dark eyes when she spoke and it singed my heart when she looked at me.
“I haven’t even told you the worst part yet, Geneva.”
I swallowed hard, knowing I didn’t want to know, but that I didn’t have the nerve to stop her from telling me.
“Do you know how they got my husband, the great Jaka, to agree to meet with the rouge faction? They kidnapped me and held me hostage until my husband agreed to meet with them. The only way they got him to lay down his sword, was by holding one to my throat. And then, I had the great privilege of watching them murder him, before my very eyes, all the while knowing it was my fault. He never would have been there if it hadn’t been for me,” she said bitterly. “A short while after we buried my husband, I learned I was pregnant with Jovi. She was a tiny miracle and perhaps the only reason I was able to collect myself enough to continue on living. She saved me from the dark depression I was facing after the death of my husband and my eldest son, yet I see them in her face every day. She is a bittersweet reminder of love’s vicious lease.”
The air in the tent was suffocatingly still. I wanted to flee, to get to fresh air and chase her horrible story from my mind, but I was frozen. I stood perfectly still, as her steady hands expertly continued to pin my dress for the Eva ceremony that would seal me into a loveless fate.
After a short while she spoke again.
“I don’t tell you these things to be cruel, Geneva. I just don’t want to see anyone suffer the way I have suffered. I love my children and my people and believe it or not I love you. I believe you can become a great leader. But I feel it is my duty to warn you. I see the way those boys look at you. They spoke of nothing but your well being after you were injured in the cave—doting on you the entire time you were recovering. I had to order them away to give you the peace you needed to rest and heal. They worship the ground you walk on. A word of advice, Geneva, tread lightly on their hearts. You can only be responsible for one or the other—your country or your family. No heart is big enough for both.”
Her words resonated hard inside my head. They were an echo of my own hesitations about becoming the Eva and what I would have to sacrifice. Vida was living proof of my worst fears—love, being used against me. I was lost, deep in the terrors of my own mind, when she spoke again, pulling me from my contemplations.
“I hope what I’ve shared with you will remain private. Talon knows his father died after the Flood. He realized the numbers didn’t add up with Jovi’s age long ago, but he’s agreed to go along with my story for her sake. He knows me well enough to know I have their best interests at heart and I hope he trusts that I have my reasons for keeping certain secrets.”
“You shouldn’t keep secrets from them, Vida. They’re your children. They’d understand. And they’d want to know about their father,” I pleaded.
“No! It’s better this way. I’m thankful every day that Talon was so young and didn’t witness what happened to his father. And, that Jovi was spared from the tragedy of all the death the Flood brought. I don’t want them to know. I’ve fought too hard to keep this sadness from their lives.”
“Vida, you have kept sadness from them. I see so much happiness in them. You’re their mother and they love you. They wouldn’t want to see you suffering the burden of this secret.”
“It’s funny how love works, isn’t it? It’s because I love them, that I must keep this secret.”
Her tone was final and even after only meeting her today, I knew better than to push Vida any further.
“You’re finished. Slip this off and send Sparrow in so I can fit her, please.”
After I sent Sparrow in to see Vida, I wanted to put as much distance between myself and that tent as possible. My mind was reeling and my stomach felt queasy. I breezed past my friends gathered around the cozy campfire, mumbling an excuse before any of them had a chance to stop me.
I headed off into the forest for some solitude and found it near a babbling stream where I heaved my guts up, unable to contain the sorrow that Vida’s story filled my heart with. The trouble with being an Empath, was that I could feel the full force of people’s emotions. And Vida’s were overwhelming. I pitched until I had nothing left and then washed my face with the cool water from the stream. I was slurping handfuls of sweet water when I heard someone come up behind me.
“Are you all right?” Nova asked softly.
I turned to face him and my heart plummeted to my feet. He looked so beautifully surreal in the moonlight. The way the shadows rippled over his shirtless body made him look like he was only an illusion, and in that fleeting moment, I realized that maybe he was. After my conversation with Vida, the notion that someday Nova and I could be together was merely a dream. This realization forced the breath from my lungs and I started to shake.
“I . . . no . . .” But my voice cracked, betraying me.
Nova moved toward me and I let my traitorous body collapse into his arms.
“Hey, shhh . . . Tippy. What’s wrong? What happened?”
I sobbed uncontrollably into his warm chest as his arms encircled me. Being this close to Nova was so comforting, yet excruciatingly painful at the same time. It was a cruel taste of what I wanted, yet knew I could never have.
“Do you want to talk to me?” he whispered into my hair as he squeezed me tighter.
I shook my head in protest as I continued to shudder and cry. There was no way I could form coherent thoughts right now. I was afraid I‘d say something I wasn’t ready to—something I couldn’t take back—like the fact that I was madly in love with him, but that it didn’t matter, because we could never be together if I was going to be the Eva.
“Do you want to let me see?” he asked.
“No! Promise me you won’t read my thoughts, Nova!” I begged, trembling at the thought of him getting the wrong idea by all the emotions flooding my mind.
“I promise, Geneva. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. You know that, right?”
I nodded and relaxed back into his arms.
“Just hold me . . .” I managed to choke out between sobs.
“Forever,” he whispered into my hair.
21
The night had been rough. I tossed and turned, fighting off dark visions of a friendless future. After a particularly cruel nightmare involving Nova and Remi, I finally gave in to the sleeplessness. I slipped on some clothes and gathered up Niv for a twilight walk.
I ended up in the boughs of a Bellamorf tree, wishing I could somehow morf my issues away. I brought my journal and poured my bleeding heart out onto its pages. It always made me feel better to write things down. It didn’t solve my problems, yet seeing them on paper seemed to make them more manageable. I guess it was like identifying an enemy, offering me a way to figure out how to best achieve victory.
I watched the sunrise and felt a peacefulness wash over me as the forest came to life. The birds sang with joy as the flowers opened their blooms, aching to spend a new day warmed by the sun. Niv eagerly hunted the branches for insects and I smiled as I watched him delightfully pounce when he found one.
How can a world this beautiful be so painful? I thought to myself as I bounded out of the tree.
When I reached the ground I had resolved not to let Vida’s fate, be my own. Both my mother and Jaka had told me that I could write my own destiny and what better day to start than today!
I
called to Niv and marched back toward camp, determined to conquer the day that would officially make me the Eva.
The camp was alive with excitement. There was truly something special about today. I sensed it in the sunrise and everyone could feel it in the air around camp. My friends were in spectacular moods when I joined them for breakfast.
Nova glanced at me with a hint of concern, but when I smiled at him and telepathed “I’m okay,” he seemed to relax.
“So how are you this morning?” Eja asked me cheerfully when he joined us.
“Good,” I said. “A little nervous I suppose, but good.”
“Excellent!” he said clapping his hands. “We still have a lot to do to prepare. I assume Talon, Vida and Jovi were appropriate hosts and helped prepare you with a brief history of the ceremony and what to expect?”
Everyone nodded and mumbled agreement as they continued to eat the delicious meal Vida provided for breakfast.
I glanced at Nova, realizing I might have missed some of the history lesson while I was crying in the forest with him last night.
“I got ya covered,” he winked.
“Splendid, then we have little time to waste. My Eva, I’ll need you to come with me. Talon is expecting the rest of you,” Eja said.
“But I haven’t finished breakfast,” Jemma whined.
“I’m pretty sure Journey finished it for you,” Remi said laughing as he caught Journey stuffing the last crumb from Jemma’s plate into his mouth.
“Hey!” she yelled, but he was already on his feet before she could swat him.
“No wonder you’re so thin, Sparrow. All this time with Journey, I’m surprised he managed to leave you any scraps to eat!” Jemma called after Journey as he sauntered away, with Remi and Nova following.
I sighed as I watched my friends walk away, bickering playfully. I was pleased they had come so far. Hopefully, they could get along long enough to make it through the Eva ceremony today.
