by C J Benjamin
“Hollis figured it out pretty quickly, so I doubt it’ll take the Ravinori that long,” Nova challenged.
“No, he didn’t figure it out. Jemma ratted me out,” I said glaring at my traitor of a sister across the room.
She returned my stare with a nasty look of her own. “What are you going to blame me for now?” she whined with an exaggerated eye roll.
“Haven’t you caused me enough grief for one day, Jemma?”
“You should really be thanking me. If I hadn’t told Hollis about you, we wouldn’t even know about Malakai or his plan. I probably just saved your pathetic life.”
“Oh, get over yourself, Jemma!” I hissed.
“Okay, let’s go. You two need some time apart,” Nova said.
He plucked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I squirmed and kicked at first, but once outside the room, he set me down and I felt the fight drain out of me.
He looked deep into my eyes, his jaw set and his flawless lips turned down. “Let’s have that talk now.”
For once, I was too tired to protest. I followed Nova obediently. We walked down the dark winding hallway and finally through a tall, narrow red door. I could have sworn I tried that door earlier with Sparrow and it had been locked. But under Nova’s touch, it glided open smoothly.
Once inside the cozy room with the crackling fire, Nova grabbed my hand and pulled me into a fierce embrace. It caught me off guard, but in a good way. As he pressed my face to his chest, I drank in his intoxicating scent—forest and spice—it brought all my undeniable feelings for him rushing back to the surface.
Now was my chance to talk to Nova. I wanted to tell him how I felt and get to the bottom of his feelings for me, especially if I was about to be used as a pawn in Malakai’s chess game of domination. I wanted to know once and for all where Nova and I stood. No matter how many times I told myself my life was too complicated for a relationship or that I should just stay away from him, I knew that regardless of the legends, there was a magnetic connection that drew me back to Nova every time. Maybe it was because he was a Pillar, maybe it was more than that. But either way, it was impossible for me to be away from him, even if sometimes being near him felt just as impossible. The threat of being so close to the Troian Center and having Malakai take everything away from me was spurring me to take action and giving me the courage to finally put these feelings to words.
“Nova,” I started, but before I could finish, he pulled my face up to his and kissed me.
I lost myself in the pure joy and blissfulness of the moment. His molten lips, his smoldering stare. The desperate way in which he held me. It took everything in my power to pull away from him, but somehow I managed.
“We need to talk, Nova!”
“I know, Tippy. I just . . . it’s just we’re not very good at talking. It always leads to yelling and fighting. But we’re good at this,” he said pulling my face toward his again.
“Nova! I’m serious.”
He let go of me and sighed deeply as he turned to stare at the fire, running his hands through his hair in frustration.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Tippy!”
“I want the truth,” I said.
“You want the truth?” he asked incredulously whirling back to face me. “How about you be truthful with me for a change!”
“About what?” I yelled back at him. We were fighting already. Why was it so impossible to talk to him lately?
“You’ve been different since you fell into the cave. You’ve been so hot and cold, so . . . closed off. One minute you’re telling me you love me, and the next I feel like you’re avoiding me. I hate it. I know you’re keeping something from me, but I just wish you would talk to me. You know you can tell me anything. I miss you, Tippy. All I want to do is be there for you but you make it impossible.”
“I make it impossible? You make everything impossible! For someone who wants to be there for me, you sure spend an awful lot of time with my sister!”
“Tippy, she’s your sister. Half the time I spend with her, I’m trying to fix your relationship with her. And—”
“And the other half you spend sleeping with her?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, who’s keeping secrets now, Nova?”
“Tippy, I honestly don’t know what you are talking about.”
Tears instantly welled up in my eyes. How could he stand there and lie to my face? It was breaking my heart all over again. I knew I’d seen them together. The image of their limbs intertwined, swaying sleepily in the hammock, had been burned into my mind. Why couldn’t he just admit it? I’d made mistakes too, but I’d come with the intension to admit them and see if we could actually have a shot at love.
A deep sadness ripped through my heart. I thought Nova was different. I thought he actually cared about me. But he wasn’t different. He was just a boy. A boy that I had foolishly fallen for. I suddenly felt stupid for telling him that I loved him at the vine bridge. He had never said it back and he obviously didn’t feel the same way.
I turned to run for the door, but he caught my arm and I felt that electricity, that spark that we’ve always had pulse through me. All of my effort was going to stopping myself from crying and I’d let my guard down. I could feel Nova inside my head. He promised not to read my mind, but apparently that was a lie too!
“Stop it!” I cried out, pulling away from him.
But from the look on his face I could tell it was too late. He had seen it all. The color drained from his cheeks and he backed away from me, as shock and disbelief washed over his beautiful face.
“You kissed him?” was all he managed.
“You promised you would stay out of my head,” I whispered.
“It seems we’re both liars.”
“No, Nova—”
“Do you love him too?”
“It’s not like that—”
“Then tell me what it’s like!”
“He’s my friend . . . I . . . I don’t know!”
Pain contorted Nova’s beautiful features as he stared at me.
“Nova . . .” I said starting toward him, but he backed away from me and it stopped me in my tracks.
We stood staring at each other for what seemed like forever. I knew we were at a crossroad and if I walked away now I might lose him forever, but in doing so, I might actually be saving him. It seemed like I ended up putting everyone I loved in jeopardy. Something Eja had read to me from the Book of Secrets popped into my head. ‘The sun must give up the stars if the world is to go on.’ Those words had a profound effect on me now as I stared at Nova, his beautiful features highlighted by the flickering light of the fireplace. He was my star and I wanted to be with him more than anything I’d ever wanted before, but I loved him enough to know I had to let him go. I could see the pain I caused him in his deep emerald eyes. Hurting Nova felt worse than giving him up. I knew what I had to do.
“Nova, I think that whatever we are, whatever we thought we could be . . . it needs to be over.”
He looked truly vulnerable for a moment, but then I could see his wall go up as he steeled his face and said, “If that’s what you want, Tippy.”
“It is,” I said. No two words ever tasted so bitter and so untrue, but I knew I was doing the right thing. “And one more thing,” I said.
“Yes?”
“Please stop calling me Tippy.”
This was the nail in the coffin for us. Even through Nova’s tough exterior, I could see I wounded him. He had given me that nickname when we first met and it always seemed like our thing. Even after I’d learned my name and everyone started calling me Geneva, Nova didn’t. To him, I’d always be his Tippy and I liked that. It made me feel special, but I needed to sever all ties with him if I was to spare hurting him any further. I needed to give up my star in order to save him.
There was a knock at the door and it made me jump. Eja’s thin frame peeked in. “Am I interrupting?” he asked timidly.
/> “No, come in, Eja,” I said.
“Are we done here Ge-ne-va?” Nova asked, bitterly pronouncing each syllable of my name.
“Yes,” I said hoarsely, swallowing back the hard knot in my throat.
“Very well,” he said sternly and gave a sarcastic bow as he left the room in a hurry, slamming the door behind him.
Eja raised his eyebrows at me and I burst into tears, surprising him even further. I ran to the sofa next to the fireplace and collapsed, finally succumbing to the pain of my conversation with Nova. Eja stiffly tried to comfort me by patting my shoulders as I mourned the bitter remains of my broken heart.
“My Eva, what happened?” Eja asked, handing me a soft cloth to wipe my face with.
“I just ended things with Nova.”
“May I ask why?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Eja.”
He nodded sympathetically. “May I say that I believe you are very wise in all of your decisions, my Eva? Have faith that what you decide is what is meant to be.”
I forced a smile. Eja was starting to sound a lot like Jaka, but I feared this time he was wrong. Nothing felt right about hurting Nova. It was all too much. The pain of losing Talon, Jovi being a secret Pillar, the immense responsibility to be the Eva, and now this; hurting Nova. Losing him before I’d even had him. The dam finally broke. I dissolved to tears again and this time I told Eja everything.
When I was done I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my soul. Keeping secrets from my friends was such hard work. Now that I had finally let Eja in, I felt lighter; almost hollow inside.
He was silent the entire time I rambled on about Nova, Remi, Jemma and what I’d discovered about Jovi. Now that I was done, I was waiting tensely for him to say something.
“I think you are very noble to give up the one you love in order to protect him.”
“So you think it’s the right decision?” I asked anxiously.
“I think all of your choices are the right ones for you.”
“Eja, stop talking in riddles! What do you really think?”
“I think you are doing what you know how to do in order to protect the people you care about. But I think you also need to focus on how to protect yourself or all of your efforts will be useless.”
“How do I protect myself?” I asked.
“I can help you do that,” he said.
68
It was late when I finally left the room with the fireplace and my head was fuzzy. Eja and I had talked for hours. We went over many different strategies and ways I could protect myself, but they were all risky and none of them seemed foolproof. We read and reread the legends in the Book of Secrets. Then we moved on to other manuscripts that Eja had found in Hollis’s library. We read until they all started to get jumbled together in my head. I remembered how, at first, l had loved the enchanting way the legends were written, but now I was frustrated by their riddles. They were vague and left so much room for interpretation. I wish they would just come out and say what was true! But I guess they were good for something, because one particularly devious riddle dealing with deception birthed a risky plan that seemed crazy enough to work. We just needed to find a room with a reflective surface and keep our scheme from the others. The only slight complication was that it involved Jemma.
We also discussed that we would have to revise our plan for when we reached the Troian Center. Now that I had told Eja about Jovi being one of the Pillars, he agreed it would be safer for her not to accompany us to the Troian Center. I sighed a breath of relief knowing she wouldn’t be following us into the heart of danger. At least one good thing had come of the civer ant attack. Without it, I never would have known Jovi was a Pillar and we would have unknowingly delivered her right to Malakai.
Bringing Jovi so close to the Troian Center and Lux, only to send her away, wouldn’t be an easy pill for her to swallow. I knew she’d be mad. She’d probably whine about how unfair it was that she’d come so close to visiting the places she longed to see. But I would have to let her be hurt to do what was best for her.
Eja offered to stay behind with Jovi and have Hollis escort them back to the Beto tribe. The other tough decision I’d come to was that Niv should stay with them as well. The Troian Center hadn’t been safe for him before and since it seemed they were expecting us, I hoped the best way to protect the both of us, was to keep him away from me. At least if one of us was always safe, the other would have a chance at surviving since I’d tethered our souls. The last thing I wanted was for Niv to become something Malakai could use against me. I’d been down that road before.
I hated how this was starting to become a continuing theme; giving up those I loved most to keep them safe. Eja promised to look after Jovi and Niv, and assured me that these decisions were for the best. I knew he was right, but that didn’t make it any easier.
I sullenly wandered the winding halls, following Eja back to the main room, dreading the conversations ahead of me. I could hear lively chatter coming from the kitchen where my friends were gathered around the worn table. There was a small spread of food on it, perhaps the last of the rations from Vida. I hesitated to enter the kitchen and disrupt such a normal scene. It was so rare to see everyone in one place, getting along, enjoying a meal; being kids, rather than soldiers in a mystical battle I had dragged them into. For a brief moment, I wondered if maybe I could spare them all by just slipping away into the night. I shivered, shaking the cowardly thought from my mind.
Those are the thoughts of a scared little girl, I scolded myself. I’m their Eva, their leader. I got them into this mess and I’m going to do my best to get them out.
After my internal pep talk, I breezed into the kitchen with renewed confidence. Isby squawked his disapproval as I entered the room and all eyes turned to me.
“Hi, Geneva!” Jovi said, bouncing over energetically. “Are you hungry? I saved you some sweet bread.”
When I saw her smiling face, I knew it was now or never. If I waited any longer we’d be at the Troian Center and Jovi would find a way to weasel herself in with us if she had the chance to plead her case to the group. I had to talk to her now. Alone.
“Yes. I’d love some, Jovi. Can you bring it out here? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Sure!” she said, trotting away to grab some bread from the table.
I caught Nova’s gaze for a moment while I was waiting for Jovi to return and I could feel his disdain for me as he dropped my stare and returned to his conversation with Journey. It was like a knife in the heart, but I took a deep breath and reminded myself it was for his own good.
“Here,” Jovi said thrusting a cloth wrapped hunk of sweet bread into my hands.
“Thanks, Jovi. I need to talk to you about something important.”
“Am I in trouble?” she asked, eyes as big as saucers.
“No, Jovi,” I smiled. “But remember our secret?”
She silently nodded.
“Well, Eja knows about it and he’s going to help us keep it.”
“I didn’t tell him, Geneva, I swear!”
“I know, Jovi. It’s okay. I told him because we need his help. He’s going to take you and Quin back to your mom and the Beto’s.”
“What?” she squeaked and I motioned for her to keep her voice down. “But I don’t wanna go back! I wanna stay here and help you,” she whined.
“I know, but I need to keep you and our secret safe. The best way for you to help me, is for you to stay with Eja.”
“But . . .”
“Jovi. Let me finish. I need you to help me with something very important.”
“What?” She pouted.
“I need you to take Niv with you.”
“Your Niv?” she asked, confused.
“Yes. Niv and I are tethered. Do you know what tethering is?”
She nodded.
“Then you see why it’s not safe for him to come with me?”
She nodded again.
&n
bsp; “I’m trusting you to take good care of him for me, like the way you take care of Quin. I need you to keep him safe while I’m gone. It’s a big responsibility, and I don’t trust anyone else to do it but you. Will you do it for me?”
She nodded nervously.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise, Geneva.”
“Okay good girl,” I said pulling her close for a hug. I could feel her tiny heart hammering against me. I prayed I was doing the right things to protect all those I loved. “All right, let’s go tell the others our plan,” I said letting go of her.
As I stood to walk away, she caught my hand and squeezed it. “Geneva, don’t be sad. I’ll take the best care of Niv, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to him. I’ll protect him. I can be brave like my brothers.”
I squeezed back, fighting tears, “I know you will, Jovi. I know you will.”
When Jovi and I went back into the kitchen, Eja was finishing up telling the others what we had been discussing regarding he and Jovi, and Niv and Quin, staying behind.
“Nice of you to consult us on your plans, Geneva,” Nova said sarcastically when I joined them around the table.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh that’s right, you just do whatever you want and we have to be okay with that because you’re the Eva.”
“Nova, I’m doing what I think is best for all of us.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” he said as he stormed out of the room.
“What the heck was that about?” Sparrow asked.
“Never mind, it’s fine” I said shaking it off. “Hollis estimates he can get us to the Troian Center by tomorrow. Our plan remains the same. We are still looking for the Pillars. We need to locate them and then get them out. Hollis will help us escape the Troian Center with the Pillars and any other Truiet orphans we can help when it’s time. The only thing that has changed is that Eja and Jovi will be returning to the Beto tribe, along with Quin and Niv. It’s not safe for them inside the Troian Center.”
“How will we communicate with anyone outside of the Troian Center without Quin to carry our messages?” Jemma asked.
