by J. A. Kerr
Noor
Noor’s breath caught in her throat. Virinder looked so handsome and he smelled amazing as he stood there. After everything he had been through, he was finally looking well. His touch on her arm sent shivers of desire through her. She stared at him intently and hoped their wedding night would be everything he’d hoped for. She was nervous. He turned and smiled and heat pulsed through her. As he ushered her into the car, she placed her clammy palms on her lap. Her heart thumped.
“Noor, I have a surprise for tonight,” said Virinder with confidence.
“Virinder...my father,” she said worriedly.
“I’ve spoken to your father. He has given his blessing and Zita will be with him tonight,” smiled Virinder.
Noor’s disbelief changed to excitement before nerves got the better of her. Suddenly she felt shy.
“I’ve not brought my things,” she said ruefully, looking at her beautiful dress.
“Don’t worry, Zita packed you a bag,” said Virinder kindly. “I’ve arranged private dining.”
Noor gaped at Virinder. His face was assured and smooth. Unsettled, she didn’t reply but nodded. Her emotions were tangled. She wanted this, had in fact longed for it...but now it was happening she was uncertain. However, her body wasn’t. A thrill ran through her; it had been so long...it took her a moment to understand what it was. Since the loss of Virinder’s parents she couldn’t imagine finally being alone with him. However, the look he’d given her earlier had revealed a desire so naked her legs nearly buckled. Noor had not given herself completely to anyone since Ayran. Yes, she’d given her body but never her heart. She had come such a long way since her earlier plans for Virinder. She saw getting pregnant as her only way to secure her future but now everything had changed and she cringed at her callous attitude. She felt so unworthy of his love.
Virinder
He noticed how quiet Noor was, and in other circumstances he’d worry. However, he was not the same man anymore. His grief had been all consuming and he lost himself in the Braille Club in the weeks that followed. He was numb and needed something to help with his anguish. Slowly, the Braille sessions helped him to reconnect with the world and reignite his passion for Noor. Virinder’s desires became stronger; his need to be touched at odds with the requirement not to move. To have one...was to induce the other. He wanted Noor more than ever. He no longer cared about his inexperience or his shrinking body that would take months to tone. He only cared about Noor and being close to her. Through his sessions, he was aware of passion and what it felt like. Noor evoked these emotions…but what did she feel for him? His own words circled his mind. Without love they were lost. History would repeat itself. He would become like his mother and father; except he would turn to food while Noor turned to other men.
They say you are attracted to what you know… but Virinder couldn’t stand the thought he might marry a personality similar to his father. He’d never considered his father’s behaviour because it was taboo. However, he was aware of his indiscretions; heard his mother’s accusations. His father would slam down his fist and she would fall silent. They were miserable together, but would never part. He wanted more from his marriage. He wanted more for his children. His father’s intention was clear now. He’d picked Noor because he recognised in her what he also possessed. Noor would stick with the marriage whatever happened, Virinder saw that now. Poverty and dependency gave her little option.
He owed it to his mother to break the cycle. When Virinder saw Noor’s devotion to her father, he knew beneath her hardened exterior she was good. She had been honest from the start. Her father and Noor came as a package. That was the moment he truly fell in love with her. Selflessness and caring were qualities he admired greatly. Virinder intended to achieve what his parents had not through love. Noor must feel it too, if they were to succeed. He was aware of every nuance of touch. He’d know if she was unresponsive because his senses were honed by experience. He pulled inside the garage and parked. Looping the bag in the back seat in his hand, he saw Noor looking around curiously before he guided her towards the elevator. Inserting his card they were taken to the elite suites. Noor gasped as he opened the door.
“Virinder, this room is beautiful,” she said in awe.
“Please.” He indicated the table that was set.
Noor looked uncertain but sat as he placed the bag down. He delved into it and unwrapped the savoury delights. This time they were made by his sister, he could never eat them again, the memories too painful, but knew Noor loved them.
“Mmmm,” sighed Noor. “Something smells delicious.”
“Do you trust me, Noor?” asked Virinder quietly. Noor would always be difficult to control. Her nature was naturally rebellious and her lack of trust in men would always haunt her, but Virinder felt he understood her.
She turned and gazed at him. “Yes.”
“Close your eyes,” said Virinder. He tore a piece of food. “Open your mouth.” With trembling fingers he pushed the food into her mouth. They both gasped. Virinder’s mind exploded with the sensation of Noor’s soft lips against his fingers. He trembled as the thrill of her mouth lingered. He picked up the next piece of food and fed her. This time his fingers brushed her moist tongue and he shivered with desire. Noor’s eyes flew open. She looked directly into his eyes and he saw desire. He controlled himself with effort, imagining his movement triggering an alarm like in his Braille sessions. Noor was waiting, her eyes wide. Virinder placed the food in her mouth and this time she licked at his fingers, the sensation delicious and erotic.
“Noor,” he gasped. She smiled mischievously at him and opened her mouth for more.
This time she sucked at his fingers and Virinder groaned as yearning ripped through him. He jerked his hand free and without thinking grabbed Noor and crushed his lips to hers. Euphoria flowed through him as she hungrily kissed him back. The kiss deepened quickly and Virinder didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t pull away as Noor moulded her body against his. Passion consumed them. Raw and powerful. Virinder’s heart soared. They were tearing at each other’s clothes; lost to the desire raging through them.
“Noor,” gasped Virinder. “Do you love me?”
“With all my heart,” said Noor impatiently. “
“For the right reasons?” Virinder challenged her.
“Yes,” said Noor passionately. “You did the impossible after Ayran; you made me trust again…I love you for that, and many other reasons.” Her face was defiant and vulnerable.
He knew then he was lost to her. “We’re not alone anymore. We have each other...” he said, his voice cracking. Noor’s lips found his. As they clung to each other, Virinder gave into his desires and as Noor removed her clothes, he was astounded by her beauty. Her passion for him made him forget everything, even his own insecurities. Their desire was inflamed and intense and when at last they were spent, they held each other. Noor sighed happily.
Finally, Virinder felt healed, his sadness for his parents was complicated and mixed with many emotions. With Noor’s love he knew he could be a better man. Noor was a handful but he knew what to do to keep her satisfied. The Braille Club beckoned for both of them and he couldn’t wait for his wife to join him.
Chapter 48
The Braille Club Undone
The Braille Club, London. Two Years On. Swingers Zone Trial. Guy’s eyes were hooded as he watched the Patron help the Assignee from the chair. Suddenly he grabbed her roughly and kissed her. Guy’s breath and pulse quickened. The whole experience was deeply erotic.
Tess
Tess smiled at Si weakly. He was a sight for sore eyes. He was completely dishevelled and stunk of alcohol but for once his face was unmasked. There was worry and compassion in his eyes. The guilt she’d not felt earlier suddenly appeared. She closed her eyes. Anna had been firm. “You never tell him the truth, Tess.”
“Tess,” whispered Si. “Tess, I was so worried about you...” he swallowed. “I thought, I thought...never mind, I’m
just glad you’re okay.”
Tess opened her eyes and turned towards Si. “But I’m not okay,” she sobbed. “I may still lose the baby.”
“A baby, I never thought we would,” he said in wonder. “Tess...” Si started to cry. “I know I don’t deserve you, Tess.”
Tess gazed at her husband through her tears. She had waited so long to hear those words but if she lost the baby, would they be too little too late? She had no intention of letting him off the hook easily. Although terrified of losing him, Tess had changed. The man on the video clip was the real Si Lawrence. She saw that now. Her rose tinted glasses were well and truly off but she was glad he was with her now.
Si seemed to pull himself together. “What did the doctors say?” he asked.
“The baby is not distressed and the heartbeat is strong but they’re unsure about my pain. They told me if I went into labour they can give me drugs to stop it,” said Tess grimacing. “I’m so frightened, Si,” she said, her voice full of anguish.
Si grabbed her hand. “Tess, listen. We will not lose this baby,” he said fiercely.
Tess looked at Si in surprise but his expression was sincere...then gasped and clutched her stomach as another vicious pain shot through her.
“No,” she moaned.
“Tess, listen to me.”
Suddenly, Tess was angry. All the hurt and resentment she’d harboured over the years spilled out.
“I know about the video,” hissed Tess. “I warned you, Si, but you wouldn’t listen.”
Si hung his head, the truth of her words hitting home. “Yes. I’m finished, Tess. Everything you and Phil predicted has come to pass.”
Tess tensed but the usual cruelty in his voice was missing. “You hurt me, Si. How can I trust you again?” she asked angrily.
“I’m sorry. It’s unforgivable. Tess, I’ll do whatever you want,” said Si pleadingly.
“I bet you will,” she spat. “Well, actions speak louder than words, Si. I want all the films deleted.”
“Yes,” said Si.
“I want that disgusting playroom ripped out.” Tess looked for a hesitation in Si but saw none.
“Yes, Tess.”
Using her anger to block out the pain, Tess continued. “I want you to sign the house over. It will be my insurance, Si.”
Si’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll do it.”
Tess paused as the cramps eased off. “Did you ever love me?” she demanded
“Yes. I always have, Tess. From the moment we met at the studio. I couldn’t figure out what was happening. Every time I tried to stop seeing you, I couldn’t seem to end it. I was cruel and horrible to you because I thought you would do it for me but you didn’t.”
Tess stared at Si.
“I’ve fought the feeling ever since. Tess, I can only say I wasn’t myself. I kept waiting for you to call time on us and when you didn’t, I got bolder. I got to eat my cake.”
“So your behaviour is my fault?” asked Tess incredulously.
“No, Tess,” said Si, hurriedly. “Everything is down to me. I’m trying to explain.”
“Get out, Si,” said Tess. “I will not listen to you blame me. You’re disgusting.”
“You’re right. I am disgusting but I won’t leave you,” said Si firmly.
“Go away, Si,” she said tiredly. “We’re done.”
“No.”
“Do what you want,” said Tess through gritted teeth and turned away from him. Exhausted, she must have dozed off. Opening her eyes, it took a moment to remember where she was. Expecting Si to be gone, she was surprised to see him staring at her. His gaze was intense like it was the first time he’d seen her. Tess squirmed a little. She was totally confused. Did she still want him?
Si took her hand. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
She thought about it and registered the cramps were gone. A sob escaped as she cried in relief.
“Tess,” said Si in alarm. “Are you in pain?”
She turned to him, her anger gone, and whispered. “No. The pains have stopped.”
Si’s face lit up. “I’ll get a nurse.”
Si
Si saw Tess’s pale face change as the nurse asked her how she felt. Tess gave a tentative smile saying her pain was gone. The nurse nodded and wrote something on her chart. She told them to call her if anything changed. Si’s emotions were at breaking point. He’d gone from thinking his wife had harmed herself; to discovering Tess was pregnant. Then there was the worry with the baby. He still had trouble absorbing all the information. Si swayed as he stood. He now understood what bone tired meant. Things had not gone well with Tess but lack of privacy prevented him from saying more. He’d known the doctor had recognised him and he couldn’t be sure his private conversation with his wife would remain that way. He hung his head. Again he was putting his needs before Tess; the last couple of hours were the worst Si had endured. He had lost his career and his wife, but finally, finally, something good. The labour had stopped. He cared with every fibre in his body. Cruelly, he suddenly understood what was really important in his life just as it slipped from his grasp; almost like an epiphany. He stood aside as the medical team entered the room to assess Tess. He was thinking of leaving when he heard her call him. Her face was still worried but looked brighter as he went to stand beside her bed.
“Mr and Mrs Lawrence, I’m glad the pain has stopped but we’re going to have to do more tests. Tess you are roughly twenty-four weeks and we need to keep the baby in your womb.”
Tess whimpered.
“Please try not to worry, we are doing everything we can,” said the doctor reassuringly.
Si looked at Tess’s bump. Although small, he could clearly see she was pregnant. How had he missed it? Caught up in his own fantasies, he realised they’d not made love in a few weeks. Distracted by Anna Dunbar, he’d hardly given Tess a second thought. He’d been obsessed with having Anna and had been happy for Tess to take a back seat. Appalled by his behaviour, Si knew he didn’t deserve her. He kept a constant vigil at her side and only left briefly to collect food from the cafeteria. It was hard to believe it was only Sunday. So much had happened to him in two short days. His career was gone, his marriage in tatters, and now, his child’s life hung in the balance. Needing out of the room, he gave the excuse of wanting some water from the vending machine. Searching for coins, he pulled his mobile out of his pocket and glanced at it. When he saw a missed call from Anna Dunbar, he’d swallowed. He knew it would be important and finding the courage, he called her back.
“Anna Dunbar.”
Just hearing her voice brought the entire trauma of the video back, and Si stood mute.
“Mr Lawrence?”
“Yes,” he finally said.
“Has something else happened?” she asked perceptively.
“We are at the hospital. Tess is pregnant and thinks she’s losing the baby,” he said hollowly, and without warning broke down.
“Mr Lawrence, I’m so sorry,” said Anna. She sounded genuinely distraught. “How is Tess?”
Si struggled to get his emotions under control. “Terrified.” he whispered. “She’s distraught and blaming herself.”
He could hear Anna suck in her breath. “I’m so sorry.”
“Did you want me for something?” Si asked half-heartedly.
“Yes, but now is not the time,” said Anna firmly. “Look after Tess.”
“I’m not sure I’m the person she wants,” said Si dejectedly.
“She needs you more than ever,” said Anna quietly. “Don’t let her down.”
“I won’t,” said Si, feeling helpless.
“Goodbye, Mr Lawrence,” said Anna softly, and the phone clicked.
Si leaned against the wall for support. His body sagged. He straightened when his mobile buzzed. Anna had sent a text.
Anna: Check your email.
Curious, Si did as instructed and read the attached file.
Dear Mr Lawrence,
Your instruc
tion to remove discussed video clip from the public domain has been done. We will pursue the newspaper directly for an apology, now your management have provided the basis for your actions on the night in question. Your experiment to expose media attention on celebrities and it’s lasting effects was perhaps a little naïve. The press was your target that evening but they do not take kindly to deception. I would strongly recommend you do nothing further to aggravate them but they may pursue you regardless. The studio producer will collaborate fully regarding the project which was instigated by Phil some time ago. I have been advised Tess is unable to make a press release due her recent hospital admission but your management company will act on her behalf. In light of recent events it may be best to prepare your own press statement as soon as possible. I was very sorry to hear of Mrs Lawrence’s ill health and wish her a speedy recovery. Your situation will highlight how quick the press are to mislead the public without ascertaining their facts. Your wife’s health crisis can be directly attributed to the stress caused by the media and it’s devastating consequences.
I will keep you updated.
Martin Reed.
Turning, he ran along the corridor and burst into the room. Tess was alone.
“Tess, I’ve just received an email from our lawyers...I don’t understand,” he said confused. Si sat down in the chair beside the bed, his mind reeling. Martin Reed was the head partner at Anna’s firm.
