And now...I was this princess, idolized goddess person that was supposed to have been created to bring the factions back into some order that would make them see reason and discontinue their endless feuding. Nothing big, right?
But not all of it made sense. Cas was very cooperative with the Valkyrie court as was the Hunter court. That left the Were court out of the loop, and well the Elves, but they stayed hidden. Not once in my life had I ever heard mention of them until I went on my first mission and was accosted by one who wanted to kill me. He left before I even saw him. I was only told he was there by the other culprit I was there to question about a rogue Valkyrie who joined the wrong team. I asked my father before I left his court yesterday if all of the feuding was blown out of proportion since I didn’t see much of it. He explained one major detail that would have been nice to know earlier. Until the day we were born, the factions hadn’t spoken to each other for over a hundred years. It was heavily rumored that the twins and Hunter child were a sign. It is where the folktales started from that circulated my court.
I was sick with the fear of what might be happening, but sat it aside to find food. I only had an hour till Cas would most likely return. All would be well though neither of us had addressed the frosty attitude of avoiding my choice in living where I wish. The truth was I wanted to be here. That didn’t mean I wanted him to know that yet.
I sauntered down to the kitchens in my new yellow tank and my old black yoga pants with the word princess printed in bright yellow on the rear end. I kept them on purpose to make my point. Being a princess was a pain in the rear-end.
I found the chocolate stash Cas told me he’d collected and hidden from the staff in the kitchen. I found the perfect treat. Chocolate fudge pastry tarts. I heated it to the wonderful awesome thirty seconds it took the microwave oven to melt the inside fudge to a liquid perfection. I even found the fridge and poured a glass of cow’s milk to sip with every bite.
Claire and Arlene nodded and laughed at me as they left the kitchen with their weekly shopping list and headed out the back door for their exit. I could tell both wanted to say something motherly, but refrained. Mother...never had one.
I intended to go to the table but found it more comfortable to stay right there. Tables were overrated and lonely to sit at alone. I climbed onto the same stainless steel counter where I’d learned how the sun and the stars seem to rule my every step in life. A good thing— just mind blowing scary.
I crossed one leg under the other with my left knee in the air against my chin feeling a little more comfortable and like myself. I savored every single bite and frowned when I had only two bites left. The chocolate was energizing. My mind wandered to the day I was lifted out of the air and taken at the party without warning. The scent of him overwhelmed me and stirred memories. Great! Now I was daydreaming about the way he smells.
Another wave hit me. That night changed my life. I’d been so angry initially and that had melted away almost instantly with him. I wondered then if he didn’t have some type of Vampire calming spell over me.
“No! That I did not do!”
My head popped up, “You’re back.”
“I’m back.” No smile yet.
He stood at the kitchen entrance leaning on the doorframe with crossed arms, all weapons still attached at various places on his body. He saw me searching over him labeling with my eyes. I knew my mind was blank therefore he was not able to read my reasons for knowing his preferences on strategically placed weapons. I laughed inwardly at my FBI instincts. They were unfortunately drilled in me for years.
But then I noted the way he stared with such an acute precision of detail. I’d noticed that Calum had a way about him that made you feel his gaze, but Cas...his stare was burning a hole through me now.
What might that be for? His ineffable outer silence and lack of movement rattled me.
What? Oh, the laugh. Analyzing your choice in weapons and because you couldn’t read what wasn’t there. I tried to keep my mind quiet.
You’re getting better at.
He raked his eyes slowly over me from my bed head look to my bare feet. I quietly watched listening to his mind speak very clearly describing his perspective of how I looked to him. This far from him, I could smell something stronger than before like musk and all man strong and it affected me. He affected me.
Bad, bad Kissa. You’re driving me nuts like that you know. I like the yellow. Bet the guy you got it from knew exactly what it would do to him. And the yellow toenails, they are just asking me to…
“Okay, enough. This is a kitchen. G rated stuff only, bucko!”
He smiled ruthlessly. “Just saying. Don’t go around like that unless…”
“Cas, I’m not naked. I can wear pajamas, right? If I’m going to be prisoner, can’t at least act somewhat normal.”
His face fell.
“Oh, no. I didn’t mean that I felt like a prisoner. It’s just my father didn’t give me my own choices. I’d have come here if you’d invited me, but he didn’t give me that luxury.”
I invited you before you ever left. He was turning to leave and I had to stop him. I hated that I hurt him or even gave any indication that the ingratitude I just displayed was far from the truth.
I jumped down from the counter and was there with my hand on his back before he’d moved even a centimeter away from the door. Don’t. I am right where I want to be. I just wanted to be able to come here on my own accord. My rules. I make my own rules Cas. No one tells me what to do. And my father is still controlling me.
I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. He was still disconcerted by my thoughtlessness.
I’m not. I told you. I just wanted it to be between us. Not them. I don’t want the taste of them on my tongue. I want what happens with you, with me, with us, only us. No one else.
I backed up hoping he would follow my lead. He turned back to me letting me smile up to him at his eagerness to let me fix my screw up. I could see in his eyes he wanted the same thing I did.
And we were still in a kitchen, no doubt.
Yeah, he read me completely. I had only seconds before he had me against the SAME counter, pinned and melting into his warm deep cinnamon and spice taste, the musky scent mixing with it now. He really did smell good. Different somehow at times, but good. I was lost for a second and falling. His tongue nicked mine and I practically moaned longer than three seconds.
He chuckled and pulled his face back and up to see my eyes open with beat red cheeks blaring at him.
Sorry!
Don’t be. It only makes this that much harder.
He leaned in again taking his hands away from touching me and resting them on the steel cold countertop forcing me to either look at his chest or tip upward to show what I wanted too. Agony crept up me at losing his touch so I easily gave in. There were too many things I had to avoid in this world of mine that his kiss made me forget entirely. I didn’t want to ever avoid that.
His mouth kissed me slowly at first while his fading black eyes watched mine. I forced mine to stay open not wanting to miss a second of his growing desire and what it might produce. I needed to stop myself. We were still in a kitchen. Of course my mind had to think of this, right?
I missed the absence of his hands on me and wondered how long it would be before he returned them. Knowing he was reading all this, I willed him to return them.
I swear his eyes danced a little in laughter at this. He pulled his mouth slowly into another kiss and continued to watch me. I wanted to say something but this was just too fascinating to miss.
He finished the kiss and walked two steps back. I stood there like a complete idiot and couldn’t will my heated body to move. He knew exactly what he was doing.
You’re right. Wear what you want, when you want, or nothing at all if you like. Feel at home. But know that everything you do drives me absolutely crazy and I have forewarned you.
Or what?
I’ll not control my actions
even in the kitchen.
This was a threat. A really great threat, but was I really ready for this kind of threat? Cas! Even my inner voice was breathy and rasping for air.
He waited, his eyes eager.
I will wait for marriage. You need to know this. It’s how I was raised and I won’t give on that.
He was upset with my declaration letting his face fell. I totally misinterpreted this too. Will I ever read him right?
I only had the same intentions, Kissa. I would never force you.
Oh. Okay. I…thank you. I…don’t misread me. I want too. With you. And only you. I want to…
He moved back to me putting his warming hands on my bare shoulders. The feeling was so amazing.
Stace, I only mean the same if that’s what you want. I have waited for you for so long. “You seem to misread everything I mean. I don’t know why that is.” He switched from thoughts to verbal.
“I’m sorry. Maybe it's a girl thing."” I dropped my eyes. He pulled my chin up to force my eyes to see him again regardless. No one else would I ever let control me this way...or any way. No one! It was too vulnerable and left one open to physical and emotional pain not to mention the trust factor.
“I trust you.”
“Stace, I don’t think this is the right time to say this and I don’t think you’ll even read this right, but I hope it comes across the way I want or at least you will want. I know we haven’t spent much time together, but I know what I know regardless. I want forever with you.”
I waited. A different fear gripped me like ice. I was really and truly speechless every time he opened up like this for me. I didn’t feel I deserved him. Men didn’t talk like this unless...
Say something, he insisted.
I don’t know what to say. He sucked the words right out of me.
Anything.
I pondered like always carefully choosing my words, “I didn’t know how my life would play out. I sure didn’t know you were going to come along. I could have never predicted it. My life…this prophecy…I have no control—
He started to speak and I put my hand to his mouth. He stiffened but I couldn’t see or tell why. “I think maybe I am nuts. I have to be. But I know one thing for sure,” I looked directly into his eyes. “I absolutely am very thankful my father made me come, I absolutely don’t want to be anywhere else, and I absolutely want you to want me the rest of whatever this life involves. But I want it to be by mine,” I put my hand on my heart first and then his, “and your decision.”
“I am not sorry at all that your father asked for you to be here no matter how much I willingly encouraged it. I can and will protect you. I absolutely love you with everything I have and will spend every waking moment till you make that decision if that’s what you want.”
It’s what I want Cas. It’s definitely what I want.
He picked me up and twirled me around pulling my shirt up with it. When he let me back down, and I could look up, I saw the most happiness in his eyes I’d ever seen. I adjusted my clothes as he watched me noting the way he analyzed my mark.
You’re not asking me to marry you right now, right?
No, but I will one day. When you’re ready.
I sighed.
“What?” he asked out loud.
I guarded my thoughts. He tried to find out what I was thinking. I tried really hard but a picture of him in a tux seeped in my head. He’d seen the thread of thoughts by his look.
“I want to ask you something.” He got down on one knee.
“What are you doing?” I gasped.
”Will you go out with me tonight? Let’s forget the world for a day.”
Where? Shoo! That scared me.
“Not telling, but I took the pleasure of ordering something for you. I shouldn’t have been so assuming, but I guess I was hopeful. It’s in your closet in the closed garment bag. Meet me at the bottom of the stairs at 5:00.”
He placed a very chaste kiss on my cheek and left out of the kitchen before I could protest. I stood there a while, my mind going in every direction. I was still there when the kitchen behind me came to life with others and hinted that I might be more comfortable elsewhere so I left and went to my room alone.
Chapter Eight
...it was the best of times.
I’d yet to hear about the morning and how it went. We’d got so caught up in our world of needs we’d forgotten the rest. I vowed to ask about it and the Elves I have yet to learn more about. They were so intent on keeping me in the dark. Regardless of personal safety, I had a right to know.
I opened the closet and searched for this purchase he must have made before I came back wondering if it had been his aim. I’m not really up to thinking about the why’s but more what comes later.
With no obvious item standing out I started to push one dress over, then my own skirts and such. I’d brought pretty much the twenty or so outfits I loved other than my favorites that fit quite well and dandily folded in the drawers. I’m a jeans and princess sleeve tee kind of girl with a little flare. Add some boots, favorite heels, or nice comfy flip-flops and I’m good to go.
A flick of the light switch and we were in business. My eyes went to the middle of the closet where I’d somehow missed the large black zip bag hanging low to the ground. I must have buried it between clothes when I started moving things around.
The bag resembled many of my own back home. I’d learned from movies about proms and dances but all I’d ever attended was something labeled a ball or political event. But I’d been especially intrigued by proms. Regular human schools had them. I wondered briefly if the Hunter school ever did. Wait a minute, Fall Ball. They’d mentioned it. They do have a dance.
When the right side zipper made its way down to the floor, I think my jaw hit the floor with it. Gold shimmery silk looped everywhere. The most beautiful floor length gown with small straps and obviously clingy in certain places. Something thumped my head when I came back up from eyeing the length as fitted to me. A bag hung on the hanger with the dress. Of course, matching shoes. How does he know my size? I will never, ever ask.
I let my fingers linger on the silky fabric for a while. Wow! Just Wow!
Claire showed me where all the boxes landed with the “stuff” my father had packed up. This wasn’t all of it. My room still had a few more personal items that I wanted back. But this bag wasn’t here before.
I took my time getting ready getting a little excited about what the night might bring. The long steamy shower was really awesome especially with more of my own things. I wondered briefly, only briefly, if his shower was as large. And only briefly if we were to get married, where we would stay. I shaved, conditioned my hair for twenty minutes, and totally reminded myself of the girl I started out as. Lately, I’d spent so much time being SuperVal girl that I’d lost the inner me. Was Cas bringing that out? Was that a good thing?
Turning the shower off, I saw that my pendant and ring had been removed for the entire time since I’d arrived and I hadn’t thought to replace either. Torn between wearing what he gave me and the opportune times I wanted my thoughts guarded was tiring. And I wasn’t even dressed yet. But I didn’t want to spend the night not hearing him. I’d already spent much of the time removing things that hindered me from hearing him.
Deciding on no jewelry across the neck, I put on my diamond stud earrings and that’s it. My necklace was safely tucked in my jewelry box I brought from home on the dresser in my room. My room. My other recent additions in the adorning department were hidden between the mattresses for safe keeping. No unworthy one would guess I’d separated out all the goods.
Cas asked me days ago to keep the necklace and pendant on me, just in case. Just in case for what, I asked. He fumbled around his words of why it exists in the first place and some higher purpose we might not be aware of yet. That sounded a lot like a secret he wasn't telling me.
I slipped into the dress checking the time. 4:35. I didn’t have long to finish. My hair and light
make up were done with my favorite new gold like the sun yellow hues that Cas loved on me. I’d pinned up my hair all around with the gold pins also found in my hanging bag. This guy either had really great taste or an excellent female advisor—I wasn’t sure. I’m hoping that advisor is old and plump.
Now ready and five minutes to spare I opened the door and peeked. The heels were a tad higher than I’d have liked, but not stiletto or anything. I closed my door not having a handbag or my pouch. I’d not left without one ever. I couldn’t tuck jewelry in without losing it in the dress he offered. I’d been to plenty of balls and parties but I was nervous as heck right now at the prospect of being beside Cas in this getup. I've worn a thousand of these dresses, but not for someone. And I hoped he was in a tux!
I approached the stairwell and rounded the corner peeking down to the bottom trying to swallow the softball in my throat. I couldn’t see him if he was there.
I’m here.
You’ve listened all day and now you talk.
The dress was backless. The shivers going up my back were not from the chill. I was so scared to go around that wall. I took a deep breath and rounded the corner with outward confidence. I knew what I looked like but even nerves of steel couldn't tame down the butterflies I held to see his reaction.
When I finally hit the second stair rounding the winding staircase and coming into view of the three people standing at the bottom, I saw quickly that Cas was turned away talking to one of his head guardsman, Liam. I’d seen him on several occasions now. He reminded me of a longer faced, fair-haired Cas. A more defined jaw and longer torso, but very Vampire. The guard was fully armed with a hand staying on his hilt. He looked up first and I enjoyed his jaw dropping reaction to boost my true confidence. I blanched when I caught the guy lifting his nose to the air. Was he smelling me?
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