by Erin Osborne
He walks down the hall a little bit until a nurse comes walking out of one of the rooms. I watch on as he whispers a few words to her before turning to look at me. Nodding his head, I walk down to him.
“Shy is in with Patience. They had to rush her in for an emergency delivery,” he lets me know. “She’s goin’ to let them know we’re waitin’.”
Playboy leads me over to the waiting room and we plop our asses into the uncomfortable as fuck chairs. I’m not sure how long it’s going to take for them to deliver the baby, but I’ll wait as long as it takes. Patience is Shy’s family, therefore she’s my family now too.
Remorse floods my veins as I think that this happened tonight because they thought Shy was in the house. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that whoever did this was more than likely after Shy and not her cousin. They look a lot alike, so they probably thought they left my woman in a pile on the floor. Instead, they beat a fucking pregnant woman to the point they have to do surgery to get her baby delivered. Fuck!
“Dad, I’m gonna go check on Zach. See what’s goin’ on with him. Do you want anythin’?”
“I’m good, son. Let me know what’s goin’ on with him. If they need anythin’, make it happen. I’ll let you know what’s goin’ on up here if you’re not back,” I tell him.
I watch my son walk away before looking toward the hallway. I’m watching for Shy to make her way down the hallway. She needs to know that I’m here for her and will do whatever is needed for her cousin and the new baby.
Chapter Seventeen
Shy
AS SOON AS we got to the hospital, the doctors decided to rush her up to maternity so they could do a cesarean section. On the way here, Patience coded twice and their main concern is the baby right now. I’m not thinking my cousin is going to make it.
Guilt begins to eat at me. I should’ve either been at the house with her or made her move to Slim’s with me. If I had, she wouldn’t be on a gurney, her baby being cut out of her stomach while she fights for her life. I would’ve been there to protect her and make sure that no one got their hands on her.
Just as I hear the first wail from my cousin, alarms start blaring. I’m ushered out of the room as everyone scrambles to work on my cousin and the baby simultaneously. Tears are streaming down my face as I walk blindly down the hall.
Before I can make it very far, strong arms wrap around me. I immediately smell Slim’s cologne and leather. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I let him lead me to the waiting room and sit me down on his lap. Never once does he remove his arms from around me or pull my face from his chest. He simply maneuvers me so I’m sitting sideways in his lap.
“She’s coded twice,” I murmur into his shirt. “I don’t think she’s gonna make it, Slim.”
“I’m so sorry, Shy girl. I should’ve figured shit out better,” he tells me, running a hand through my hair.
“I should have made her come with me. Instead, I left her on her own,” I say, letting the tears overtake me once again.
For the next few minutes, neither one of us moves. We sit in the empty waiting room and I let the thoughts and guilt assault me. I try to let the heat and strength from Slim seep into my body and warm me from the chill that’s been filling my body since we pulled up to the house.
“I’m looking for the family of Patience,” a doctor says, jarring me from my thoughts.
“I’m her cousin,” I say, trying to untangle myself from Slim’s body.
“Why don’t we go in one of the rooms over here,” she says, turning away from me.
Immediately, dread fills me. I know without having to walk into the empty room with her that we’ve lost my cousin. She was too beaten and battered for her to overcome. Sobs immediately rack my body as Slim wraps an arm around me and pulls me to the room with him.
“I’m sorry to inform you that your cousin didn’t make it. There was too much damage done to her,” the doctor says, sympathy filling her eyes as she talks to me.
I don’t hear most of what the doctor is relaying to us. The words that Patience didn’t make it are clogging my head and the pounding I hear blocks out everything else. That’s until the thought of her daughter fills my head.
“What about the baby? Where is she? Is she okay?” I fire off question after question for her.
“The baby is okay. She’s in the nursery right now and you’ll be able to see her. We have to figure out what’s going to happen with her now that the mother has been pronounced dead,” she says.
“I need to call my aunt and let her know. Can she take the baby? If she can’t, can I take the baby?” I ask, my only concern being for the little girl that lost her mother and has no clue.
“That will be up to social services. They’re on their way in now,” the doctor says, leaving the room. Slim wraps himself around me.
I let him comfort me for a few minutes before I pull back from his embrace. The first thing I need to do is call my aunt. As soon as I’m done with that, I need to go to Patience’s baby. I’m the only one she has right now. And I’ll be by her side until they drag me kicking and screaming away from her. We don’t leave our own alone, especially when they can’t take care of themselves.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I pull up my aunt’s name and click on it. I explain everything that happened to Patience and how the doctor just let us know that she didn’t make it. For a few minutes, my aunt doesn’t say a word. I can hear her sobbing on the phone though.
“Cheyanne, I can’t take that baby. My body won’t allow me to get up and down with her and take care of her the way that she needs to be taken care of. I want you to have her. Raise her the way that she deserves to be raised. We’ll make it happen one way or another,” my aunt says. “I’m going to get ready and make my way up to you so we can get her funeral taken care of and find out what it’s going to take for her to go home with you.”
“Okay, Auntie. I’ll let you know as soon as the social worker gets here. For now, I’m going to go see the baby,” I say, hanging up the phone before the sob breaks free.
“What did she say?” Slim asks, once again wrapping his arms around me.
“She can’t take the baby. But she wants me to have her. She’s getting ready to come up here,” I say. “I need to go see the baby and wait for the social worker to get here. You can go do what you gotta do.”
“I’ve got nowhere to be. I’ll go to the hospital with you,” he says.
I take a few minutes to compose myself. Slim leads me to the bathroom and waits while I wash my face. As soon as I walk out of the bathroom, he leads me to the nursery and grabs the attention of one of the nurses. Slim lets me look at all the babies resting comfortably in their little bassinets while he goes and talks to the nurse about us getting in there to see the baby. She doesn’t even have a fucking name yet.
We walk into the nursery and the nurse has us wash up before leading us over to the baby. She’s sleeping in her bassinet. I look down at her and my eyes mist over as my heart starts beating fast as hell. Right there I make a vow to be there for this little girl every single day of her life. I’ll make sure that she knows her mom wanted her and that she gets all the love she deserves.
Slim rests his hand on my back as he stands next to me and watches the sleeping infant. We’re still standing in the same spot when the social worker makes her way over.
“Slim, it’s good to see you again,” she says.
Turning my head, I find the same social worker that’s been involved with the girls that came from Dander Falls. This could work in my favor, at least I hope it will.
“Sharon, it’s good to see you. Are you workin’ this case?” he asks.
“Yeah. What’s going on?”
“This is Shy. She’s the baby’s cousin. Shy’s already talked to her aunt and she’s not able to take her. Shy wants the baby,” he says, not missing a beat.
“Shy, are you prepared to raise her?”
“Well, I have to get things for her. B
ut, other than that, I’m more than ready to raise her and love her as if she were my own baby,” I tell her.
“This case is a little bit different since a blood relative wants the baby. I’ll call one of my friends that’s a judge. We’ll see if we can get an order in place before she’s ready to leave the hospital. From there, I’ll make some home visits and we’ll talk about what you want to do from there,” Sharon tells me. “For now, spend as much time with her as you want and bond with her. Slim, are you going to be involved?”
“Every fuckin’ day. Shy’s my ol’ lady.”
If I were coherent and not focused on the baby, I’d have looked at the man that never claimed me or said anything about us being more. My entire focus is on the baby though. She’s beginning to stir and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms and take care of her. At least until a thought strikes me.
“She doesn’t have a name yet,” I say to no one in particular.
“Well, would you like to name her?” Sharon asks.
“Kinsliegh Patience Carter,” I say without hesitation.
“Sounds good. I’ll be in touch as soon as I know anything more,” Sharon answers, writing down her name in the notebook she’s holding before leaving Slim and me with Kinsliegh.
A nurse comes over when Kinsliegh starts crying. She shows me to the rocking chair in the corner before handing the sweet, little girl over to me. Kinsliegh is so small and a part of me is worried that I’ll move the wrong way and hurt her.
Looking up at Slim, there’s a tenderness in his eyes I’ve never witnessed before. It’s different than the look he gives his daughter and grandchildren. I’m not sure what it means, but I’ll take the look and remember it forever.
Right now, as I feed the baby, my mind blanks everything else out. I’m not thinking about the shit going on with the club or the fact that I just lost my cousin. The guilt I’ve been feeling melts away as I hold Kinsliegh and watch her eat. Nothing else matters at this moment. Not even Slim.
I’ve always wanted to be a mother. The life I’ve lived, I didn’t think that would ever be possible. Kinsliegh may not be mine, but I’ll love her the way I would if I had ever had my own. No one will love this little girl more than I will.
For the last three days, I’ve barely left the hospital. With everything going on, the staff has been very lenient with me. My aunt, Carol, has been with me as much as she can, but she’s also been taking care of the arrangements for Patience’s funeral service. She’s decided to bury her here so Kinsliegh can go visit her when she gets older.
Slim has been by my side as much as he can. The only time he leaves is to go check on Zach and when he has to handle club business. Playboy’s been taking care of a lot of that for him. He’s been supportive but lets me have my time with Kinsliegh and my aunt too.
My heart melts when I watch Slim holding Kinsliegh. He’s fed her, changed her, and had little conversations with her. It’s sweet and I may have a picture or two from when he’s fallen asleep with her wrapped protectively in his arms.
Sharon came through and got a judge to award me guardianship of Kinsliegh. Now we have to go through the home visits and everything with Sharon. Eventually, I’ll want to be more than just her guardian, but we have to work up to the point I can adopt her. I’ll do whatever I have to so that’s the end result.
“Shy girl, what time are you leavin’ here today?” Slim asks, sitting down next to me.
“Oh, I don’t know. Tomorrow she’s getting released and I have so much to do before then. Not to mention the service later today. Slim, am I gonna be able to do this?” I ask, my doubts coming out in full force right now.
“You’re goin’ to be an amazin’ mama to Kinsliegh. We’ll get everythin’ we need and make sure that no one can take her from us. As far as how you’re gonna get everythin’ done, I’m gonna be there to help you. I’m not goin’ anywhere, Shy. If I can’t be right there, you know everyone in the club will step up and help you,” he says, throwing an arm around me as we look down at the little pink bundle in my arms. “Got some of the Wild Kings comin’ down, and Renegade and his boys will be here soon. They’re comin’ to show your aunt and you support today.”
Tears fill my eyes as I realize that I’m not alone. Not only do I have the Phantom Bastards at my back, but the Wild Kings and Satan’s Anarchy will be there too. They’ll help Slim find the guys responsible for the attack against my cousin and justice will be served.
Before I could say anything, my aunt and a few women I don’t know came into the room that we’ve been staying in with Kinsliegh. Sharon talked them into giving us a room when she got the paperwork pushed through. I can’t thank her for the things that she’s done to make the last few days bearable.
“I found these women on their way up when I got to the elevator. Slim, they said they’re friends of yours,” my aunt announced, stopping to see her granddaughter.
“Yeah. Shy and Carol, this is Bailey, Skylar, Whitney, and my daughter Maddie,” Slim says, introducing everyone.
“It’s good to see you again,” Maddie says, walking up and giving me a hug.
The rest of the women follow suit as my aunt stands back and watches them gather around me, offering the support I’ve needed the last few days. Bailey makes sure she is last and hands me a box before turning to look at the baby. Slim nods his head at me and watches as I open the box.
Inside is a onesie proudly proclaiming Kinsliegh as a Phantom Bastards princess. There is a little headband made out of a bandana. It looks like Slim’s favorite black one. A little jean skirt and black vest complete the outfit. As I turn the vest over in my hands, it proclaims Kinsliegh as Slim’s. Tears well in my eyes once again.
Slim pulls me into his side as I turn to thank the girls standing before me. Smiles light up their faces and Maddie is waiting for permission to hold the baby. I nod my head at her and watch as she carefully picks the little bundle up.
“I don’t know how much history you know,” Bailey says. “My mom used to do outfits like that for all the new babies. We lost her a few years ago so I’ve taken over the privilege of giving the new baby their outfit. I’ve tweaked it a little bit and you’re the first one I’ve had the chance to give one to from Slim’s club.”
“I didn’t know that. It makes it all the more special to me. Thank you.”
“Make sure she’s wearing that when you leave here with her,” my aunt says, taking the empty spot next to me. “Thank you guys for coming up here.”
“It’s no problem, ma’am. We’ve known Slim a long time. If there’s anything you need, please let us know,” Skylar answers.
I make my way over toward Maddie as she sits in the chair. She’s talking down to the baby, but I can’t hear the conversation she’s having with Kinsliegh. As soon as she realizes I’m close to her, Maddie looks up and gives me a bright smile. Tears fill her eyes as I sit down next to her.
“You’ve changed him,” she says, looking at her dad. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him happy. You do that for him, Shy. Thank you.”
“I haven’t done anything to him. He railroaded me into moving in with him after everything else happened,” I tell her.
“My dad’s had a hard life. I know when he started pushing you away just like I know your attack was what made him pull his head outta his ass. Don’t let him take anything from you. You make sure you fight for what you want,” she says. “And this precious little girl will just make him softer when he’s around you two. I’ve seen how he is with my boys. Kinsliegh is the first girl that he’ll have a hand in raising. Give him that chance.”
“I will. I’ve been in love with your dad for longer than I’ve admitted. Even to myself. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to handle him pushing me away again if this gets too hard,” I admit.
“Don’t need to worry about that shit, Shy girl. I’m not goin’ anywhere and I’m not pushin’ you away again,” he says, startling me with his answer. “I fucked up and I know that. I�
�ll make it up to you for the rest of my life.”
We spend the next hour or so at the hospital. But, it’s time for us to leave so we can lay Patience to rest. My aunt put a rush on everything because she has to get home. She doesn’t want to leave, I can feel it in my bones, but she has doctors to go to and a life to get back to. We’ll figure out things with Kinsliegh and make sure she spends time with her grandma.
The service is quiet and over quickly. My aunt got up and talked about her daughter. Until she got too worked up and couldn’t speak anymore. I walk up next to her and wrap her in my arms. Gathering all the strength I can, I look at everyone standing and sitting around the casket holding my cousin. Bikers from three different clubs surround us as I clear my throat and begin to speak.
“My cousin was one of the freest spirits I’ve ever met in my life. She loved life and was so excited about becoming a mom. When she moved in with me, we got closer than ever before. I wish I had half the love for life she did,” I begin, pausing to get myself together before I completely lose it. “Now, she’s given me the greatest gift anyone can give another person. I’ve got her daughter, so I’ll be able to see parts of Patience for the rest of my life. Even in death, she continues to give to those she loved and cared about. Thank you everyone for coming today.”
By the time I’m finished with my short speech, tears are rolling down my face. My aunt is still burrowed into me as I hold her. The women that are here with us today walk up to the casket and place lilies in various colors upon the wooden structure before walking over toward the cars.
The men stand around and wait for Slim to lead us away from the casket before they head back toward their bikes. Carol refuses to leave until the casket is lowered into the ground and she throws a handful of dirt down. I follow her lead and repeat her movements before Slim walks us back to the limo the two of us are riding in with Maddie.
