Her eyes were far too bright as she continued, “I don’t think I have anyone, except for you. You, I trust. You were the first person I remembered after the accident, Fen. Even if you did look like a big, black wolf. So to answer your question, right now? I feel like I know you better than anyone else on this planet. And yes, I trust you. For some reason, I trust you implicitly. You’re also the only one who’s helping me.
“Even if you did show up in the middle of the night to do it.
“There’s…” Her eyes grew even larger while she fidgeted, her fingers twining with the drawstring of her hoodie before she finally spoke again. “I don’t think there’s anyone else in my life, Fen. I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve spent most of my life alone.
“And if you walk out of here right now, I won’t have anything at all.” All her hopes and fears slammed into his heart like a freight train.
“How do you know what my name means, Celine?”
Her head tilted quizzically. “What are you talking about?”
“When we first met. You called me the big, bad wolf. And you just said it again. If you don’t remember anything, how do you know my name is synonymous with wolf?”
As he watched, her hands began to shake, her fingers twining into the drawstring until he gently pulled them away, feeling her tremble. “Because that’s what you looked like, in that place, Fen. You weren’t human, like you are now. You were a wolf. A very large, very scary wolf.”
Chapter 10
“I had no idea.” Fen was nonplussed. He never knew what he was in the Otherworld. He was always just…him. Fast and sleek and powerful. The essence of his feelings, reduced down to the barest basics. “Big and black, you say?” For an instant she caught an impression of something lurking behind those eyes, just a flash of a howling, a primitive shadow, and then it was only Fen in front of her, with his too-blue eyes, his long black hair, and his big, square jaw.
“Very big. Kind of scary, I guess. If that sort of thing scares you.” She chewed her bottom lip, assessing him. “But you weren’t actually all that scary. You were quite…nice in my dream. Fuzzy and warm.”
Fen didn’t really know what to say. If she even knew…
“And you had a name for that place. You called it the Otherworld. You said we call it that. Who is this mysterious we?” When he didn’t answer immediately, she raised an eyebrow. “You know I’ll just keep asking until you answer me, so you might as well give in. Save us both the trouble.”
“Celine, there are conversations we should have now.”
Her other eyebrow lifted.
“And some we should have later. This is definitely one to have later. By your own admission, figuring out your past is a priority, right?”
She nodded solemnly.
“What if I could help you with that?” Fen paused, watching her carefully. “Besides, how long has it been since you’ve really slept? Days, perhaps?” She looked exhausted. Besides the bruising from the gunshot, her face was starkly white and dark circles ringed her eyes. “How about I patch your head back up, then you try to sleep for a few hours? If you’d allow me, I can do some investigating, see what I can find out about your family, where you came from.”
After a minute, she nodded. “All right. But I don’t have anything for this.” She indicated the seeping wound on her head. “I don’t even know what’s in the bathroom, but maybe we can find a Band-aid?”
An hour later, he was back from the pharmacy, her wound treated and wrapped back up. He’d stocked her fridge with milk and juice, while she watched his every movement from the doorway.
Pointing her wordlessly to the bedroom, he made her lie down and set his palm over her forehead. “Sleep, Celine.” With a flicker of remorse, he whispered a simple spell and watched her eyes flutter shut before he tucked the blankets around her and locked the door tightly behind him, shoving her keys into his pocket. A wave of his hand warded the small apartment further, a layer of magical protection that would keep out anything, including humans with handguns. Finally, assured she was safe, Fenrir set off to get some answers.
Chapter 11
This was one of those days Fenrir wished he could shift into a hawk like his father and fly, but no. Which meant here he was, all six foot six of him, striding down the street against a fierce March wind toward the U of C, attracting all kinds of mortal attention. Mir was going to kick his ass when he got back to the Tower.
Odin was going to send him to the darklands to die.
Right after Loki killed him.
All over some girl he’d met in a dream. Like that explanation was going to hold up in Odin’s shiny white hall of doom. “Fuck that shit,” Fenrir muttered as he resisted the urge to simply ghost his physical form over into the building he needed to visit. He might have the address in his head, but he didn’t know the layout of the rooms, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to appear out of nowhere in a lecture hall full of freshmen.
Even he wasn’t that stupid, although there were those who would surely disagree.
He scanned the list he’d gleaned from Celine’s computer right before he’d left her. She’d sleep until he got back, and with any luck, he’d have enough answers that she wouldn’t kill him right away. Besides, by the looks of things, she’d have to get in line.
Fenrir might be uncomfortable among mortals, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t adept at manipulating them. And the faster he checked off the names on this list, the faster he’d have his answers, and the faster he’d be able to return to Celine. And perhaps give her back part of her life. Although he was worried what he’d find might be darker and more hellish than he’d like. Still, the truth was the truth, no matter what he discovered.
And after four hours, the explanations were all the same. Star student. Brilliant researcher. Top of the class. Hard worker. Like a carbon copy, professor after doctorate student after grad assistant, all told the exact same story.
Until last June. Ten months ago, something terrible had happened to Celine Barrows. Something had changed her from what she had been into something very, very different.
And Fenrir could not figure out what it was.
Which was why he was sitting in a cramped alcove overflowing with papers, files, and books, waiting for Dr. Ellis to appear. Dude had obviously never heard of going paperless. When Fenrir finally got a face-to-face, he sat down quickly to quell the look of fear springing up in the professor’s eyes as he towered over him.
“Yes, yes, please, sit down. My secretary said you are the police officer investigating Miss Barrows’s attack?” The note of alarm in the man’s voice threatened to derail his steady, calm demeanor.
“Celine left me a voicemail earlier, but she didn’t mention an attack, she merely said she had an accident. Had I known…” The man cleaned his glasses furiously.
The ones from his face, not the ones on top of his head.
Fenrir patiently waited until he finished. “Celine was attacked and left for dead about four blocks from her apartment. Fortunately, the gun misfired and she escaped with only a head injury. Some bruising but otherwise relatively unharmed.” If you think having no memories is unharmed. “As her adviser, Dr. Ellis, I thought perhaps you may be able to offer some insight. I’m trying to get a feel for what she was like before the attack, see if anything might have changed in her life leading up to it.”
“I’d say things had changed.” Dr. Ellis leaned back in his chair. “Celine was...is the brightest student I have ever had the pleasure of teaching. And I’ve taught quite a few. More than that, she is simply driven to succeed. We are nearing the end of this semester, Detective…Mr…?”
“Wolf.”
“Ah yes, Detective Wolf. We are nearly at the end of the spring semester, and Celine is once again at the top of her class. Despite her recent setbacks.”
“What kind of setbacks are we talking about?”
“Up until this past fall, Celine was my first pick to be the recipient for a doctoral grant for n
ext year. I want the best, and she is, quite simply, the best. It went beyond grades, detective. She is compelled to excel, in a way no other student ever has been. And we have the very best students in the country here, maybe in the world. She is attending on a full ride, everything is paid for, including a small living stipend paid for out of the scholarship.” A brief hesitation. “Which she has earned.”
“So she’s really smart?”
Condensation practically dripped from the professor’s worn face. “Smart does not begin to describe what Miss Barrows is, sir. She is four to ten years younger than any of her peers. And she still manages to outthink them all.”
“What about her family?”
The man turned and leafed through some files on his credenza. Pulled out one that was partially buried. “Once, I looked into her high school records and of course, she excelled there as well. No mention of family, at least, not much I could find. Let me see here…grandparents, it says. She was raised by grandparents in a small town outside of Detroit, and a single notation of a mother, Sabine. That’s it as far as family.”
“You said she was your first pick. She isn’t your first pick now?”
“I would still be happy to have her, I simply have some…reservations, let’s say.” He fiddled with the file before setting it behind him. On top, Fenrir noticed, where it might well have stayed until it had been recently covered up.
“How so?”
“When she returned from summer break, she was not herself. She was distracted, unfocused. You must understand, detective, prior to returning to classes, she was sharp, unwavering, totally committed to her studies. I confess it could be unnerving at times, the amount of time and focus she would dedicate to research or a project. However, the end result would simply be…perfect. Frankly, I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“And after break?”
“Her grades suffered. Ever so slightly. She still has a brilliant mind, but it wanders these days, in class especially. She cannot seem to focus on lectures, she seems to be…” He frowned. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she daydreams, but that’s hardly something I would accuse Miss Barrows of doing.” He laughed. “You’ve met her, you know how she is.”
No, Fenrir thought, he didn’t. He only knew how she wanted to be. The Celine he knew was half-formed, crippled by the loss of her memories. Fen made a decision. “She has a head injury. Including substantial memory loss.”
The man looked shocked. No, Fenrir realized. It was more than that, he was horrified. “She has no memory? But, but… Can she still reason, think?” Fen nodded faintly. “Thank God. Oh thank God for that. She was…her mind, detective, her ability to reason, it was everything to her. It was her strength, you see. It was what made her who she was. All of that potential and she’d barely unlocked it. She’s only, what? Twenty-one, twenty-two?”
“So you’re saying she was a genius of some kind?” He narrowed his eyes at the man. “Special?”
“So special I’ve never met another student like her, not in forty years. Her capacity to reason is what amazed me from the very beginning. Her ability to connect seemingly unrelated data, such as a sequence of historical events or translating ancient code, ancient writing, is unparalleled.”
Dr. Ellis paused. “Which is exactly why I chose her for the Field Museum project.” The man seemed to hesitate, measuring Fen up before plunging ahead. “Since last summer, Miss Barrows has been working as my liaison on a private research project, and she’s made more headway on it than any other researcher.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is Celine’s specialty?”
“Miss Barrows’s focus of study is languages. Ancient languages no longer spoken, known as extinct languages, specifically.” He began absentmindedly cleaning his glasses again.
“Or rather, it was. Now, however…”
“Something changed.”
The man sighed, disappointed. Losing your best resource would do that to you, Fenrir realized. The man showed little emotional attachment to Celine. However, Fen felt no anger, no aggression out of the man, nor any guilt. In fact, there were no feelings of any sort coming off of him and checked him off the short list of possible suspects. But the professor still held tremendous respect, even a certain degree of reverence, for Celine’s abilities. “Well, she changed,” Dr. Ellis added quietly. There was something in the way he said it that made the hunter in Fenrir prick up his ears.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Something was different when she came back to class after this past summer. It was as if her focus changed. She became almost…obsessive, you might say?” Almost as if he were speaking to himself, the doctor went on softly, testing out a brand new theory, one he hadn’t run though before. One that seemed more credible.
“She has always been supremely focused, but what if that focus simply shifted, changed to another interest? To this bigger project, perhaps? Hmmm, yes, that would make perfect sense, actually.”
Fenrir followed his train of thought, letting the man construct it, watching it take shape.
“The discovery would have been significant, fascinating to a degree she would not have encountered before, for it to supplant her current studies. Something quite…unique, I believe.” He blinked at Fenrir, as if surprised to still find him sitting there.
Fenrir glanced at the clock. He’d been down here for hours, but perhaps he could spare another before heading back. “This project, can you give me some details on the level of Miss Barrows’s involvement?”
Dr. Ellis’s smile was broad and evasive. “Detective. I apologize but sometimes private money calls for discretion, and I’m afraid I can’t give out any information on that particular project right now. Suffice it to say, Miss Barrows is a brilliant student, and I am sorry for her difficulties. I do wish I could be of more help.” Silence pounded in the air around them. The man was lying. Lying, lying, lying.
Fen sized the professor up again, his eyes sharpening. “No, your account has been comparable to the other professors I interviewed today. I appreciate the time, doctor.” He shook the man’s hand, holding it for an instant longer than necessary. “However, I do have one more person on my list. Can you point me to Dr. McRoy’s office?”
Immediately, the man’s gaze slid away from Fenrir’s. “I’m not familiar with that name detective, are you sure you have the correct person? Perhaps he might be from a different university?”
“No. I have the right one.” Fen said, pegging the human with a stare that had him reaching for his mouse. “Surely you can help me out? Since Celine is your favorite student and all?”
“Well since you put it that way, of course.” The man cleared his throat, sweat forming on his brow. “Let me check our directory.” He made a great show of scrolling through files on his computer, his eyes flicking over the screen. “Miss Barrows took a heavy class load and I don’t know everyone. Hmmm, no, nothing in the main directory, let me check adjunct professors…nothing, retired…nothing there either.” Face bright from the monitor, he glanced up apologetically. “I’m so sorry, I can’t find anyone by that name.”
Liar. Thought Fen. And to think I almost trusted you.
Rising, he made sure he was at his full height before he spoke. “I don’t know if you realize this, Dr. Ellis, but when you told me Celine was special?” He leaned in a bit more so the professor had no doubts about his intent. “I must say, I agree with you. Wholeheartedly. And I will do whatever I have to do to find the man who hurt her.”
The professor’s voice wobbled slightly as he pushed his glasses up on his nose. “I hope you do, detective, I really hope you do.”
Fenrir pushed his hands into his pockets, hunched his shoulders, and joined the masses to walk back to the apartment. Fitting Celine’s keys into the lock, he wished like hell he’d gotten back before dark. It was one thing to put her to sleep, it was another to know she’d lost almost a whole day to his wild goose chase. He set down the bag with th
e golden arches on the table before waking her up.
Another let down, he was sure.
Taking a moment, he watched her sleep. Head turned slightly on her pillow, lips slightly apart, lashes long and dark against pale cheeks, she looked every bit the sleeping fairy princess. He had a feeling he’d best enjoy the view now, before he woke her up, and she threw his ass out.
A shudder went through her body, so violent the blankets whipped around her. Fen frowned as her face twisted as if in pain. Bending over, he whispered a few words in her ear and watched her eyes flutter rapidly behind the lids. Her face pinched tight and a low, keening moan came out of her mouth. “Open your eyes, Celine. Look at me.” He placed a hand over her forehead. She was freezing cold. He shook her slightly and she burst up out of the dream, eyes wild, searching the room, roving over everything before finally settling on him.
Celine might be staring directly at him, but she didn’t know him.
Without an ounce of recognition in her voice, she growled, “I see you, wolf. And you’d better have a fucking good explanation for putting me back in there with that monster.” Her skin pebbled as the bone-deep shudder went through her again.
They rocked him back on his heels, both her words and that hollow, empty stare as if she was still dreaming. Fen tentatively touched her arm and found it chilled to the bone. “Who did you meet in your dream, Celine?”
“The Shadow of Death.” Nothing was in her eyes when she said it, no expression on her face. “He told me many things.” She winced, as if her head hurt. “But he said…” She gripped her temple. “He said I can’t…” She began to writhe and tear at her hair, her body torqueing so hard that he couldn’t get a grip on her.
And when she began screaming, the sound shattered the room around them. Fenrir wrestled her down to the bed and whispered the spell in her ear quickly, desperately until she collapsed into his arms. As she fell unconscious, he shook off his humanity, unleashed the wolf, and followed her into her dreams.
The Banished Gods Box Set: Books 1-3 Page 31
