"I needed to make sure you're okay after that," she uttered softly and our eyes met and held, so many emotions passing through us that it was impossible not to reach out and pull her in the tub with me.
Wynnie let out a shriek and splashed water around the place and I laughed before tightening my arms around her to give her a passionate, no-holds-barred kiss.
"Mmm. I'm getting horny again." She squirmed against me and my recently sated dick responded slowly but surely.
Five minutes later, we were fucking again. It was wet, loud and messy. Everything else was forgotten for those few minutes. Ella, the changes we were going to have to make to our lifestyle, the shadows of our past.
"Where have you been all my life?" I questioned in awe, a little out of breath from the thorough riding she had given me.
Wynnie giggled and stuck her tongue out at me. "Busy growing up," she quipped and yelped when I pinched her nipples.
"I feel like having some wine," I told her.
I hadn't had any in ages. I knew what that stuff did to me and out here, we needed to be on our guard at all times. The fear that I might get drunk and pass out some night while Wynter was in danger kept me away from all things alcohol. She cupped my cheek and gave me a concerned look.
"It'll be okay," she reassured me, caressing my mouth with her thumb. "We'll find another safe haven, baby."
I nodded and braced myself against the onslaught of anxiety I knew was going to come because of this abrupt disruption to my peaceful life but...it didn't happen. I felt...oddly light and resolved to make sure that we really did survive this next obstacle in our journey. Whoa. This was new. All this time I had thought no amount of preparation would be enough to equip me for facing such a situation head on but I guess I’d been wrong.
Wynter planted a loud smack of a kiss on my cheek and then scrambled out of the tub to grab a towel.
"I'm going to go see if little Ella there stayed put or not. If she somehow managed to escape-"
"Wyn," I interrupted in a warning tone and she made a face at me.
"I'm not going to kill her, Jude," she scoffed but as she left the bathroom, she muttered, "Not if she keeps that mouth of hers shut.”
Leisurely, I splashed some water over myself and scrubbed away the grime and sweat. After about five minutes, I emerged from the bathroom and found the cabin to be empty except for Ella tied up in her chair.
“Where’s Wynnie?” I questioned as I rifled through my clothes and found a t-shirt and jeans.
She should have been packing our stuff and preparing to leave. I only hesitated for a second before dropping the towel and changing in front of Ella. Nothing she hadn’t seen already.
“She went outside,” Ella answered in a subdued tone and I turned to find her regarding me unhappily. Defeat was written all over her face. Defeat and heartbreak.
I wanted to feel sorry for her but I stopped myself yet again. I had never led her on or given her any indication that there could ever be more than friendship between us. I had no reason to feel guilty. We were even now.
Walking over to the cabin door, I peeked outside, only to be greeted with mountain air and the sounds of nature. It was almost midday and my stomach grumbled all of a sudden. It would have to be something quick and simple. Canned soup, maybe. We had a lot to get done.
“You hungry?” I asked our captive as I made my way over to the kitchen and opened the cupboards. “Might as well eat something while you’re here.”
“Jude,” Ella said shakily from behind me and I glanced at her over my shoulder, wishing she wouldn’t try to persuade me into letting her go. We both knew it was foolish.
“Wynter seemed upset,” she informed me hesitantly, like it pained her to say it. “She was scrolling through her phone and I don’t know what she saw on it but she…she looked like she was about to cry and rushed out-”
I was stalking towards the door before she had finished speaking, worry engulfing me all of a sudden. Why would she go outside? Why not come to me?
“Wynnie?” I called out and received no answer. Dread filled me at that silence and I rounded the cabin quickly, my gaze searching for her. “Wyn-”
She was on her knees on the ground near the spot where I had been chopping wood earlier, her face buried in her hands and her sobs muffled. They tore at me, making me clench my jaw as I wondered what could have upset her so much that she wanted to escape me even. When she cried, it sounded like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. At her age, I knew it couldn’t be easy dealing with pain. Hell, it wasn’t easy at my age either.
“Baby?” I murmured soothingly and knelt beside her, looking at her down-bent head, her damp hair covering the sides of her face. “Babe, what happened? What was on your phone? Talk to me.”
She gasped slightly and still wouldn’t look at me so I reached for her mobile which was discarded nearby and opened up to whatever screen she had been on last. We had WIFI here so going online wasn’t difficult at all even if we had to keep covering our tracks by employing hackers. She’d been on Facebook, checking her mother’s profile again and my heart twinged with pain because I knew no matter how much time passed or whatever happened, Wynnie couldn’t stop caring about her mom completely. That woman had been all the family she had.
There were recent tags on her timeline, photos of a funeral. My blood chilled as I scrolled through them and realisation dawned on me.
The funeral was her mother’s.
Shit.
I glanced at Wynter and tried to be strong for her but I felt like crying myself. Not over that woman but the fact that Wynnie had never gotten to say goodbye properly or been able to resolve anything.
I was about to close the app when my thumb landed on the news article from Wisconsin where some idiot had tagged Wynter’s mother again. Bile rose in my throat upon finding out that she had been murdered in her home with a knife stuck to her neck. Her boyfriend, Joshua Andrews, claimed that some intruder had broken in and had gotten to his partner but he had chased them off before he himself could be harmed. He was currently under investigation.
Wynter lowered her hands and stared at me with bloodshot eyes.
“He’s going to spin a tale to get himself cleared of any charges,” she told me in a dead whisper. “Just like he did the last time I outed him on social media. People would believe him because he doesn’t show his nasty side to anyone but those he wants to destroy.”
The defeat in her tone got to me so bad, I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration and stood up, needing to pace the forest floor instead of holding her like I should. I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t bear how she sounded like she had given up on ever being able to bring that monster down. She hadn’t believed she could then. She didn’t believe it now. His memories, his power over her pain and thoughts would never completely fade. There was no doubt in my mind either that Joshua was the one who had killed Wynter’s mother, He had certainly spoken of it to her before and he was a psychopath, a sick human being from what she had told me of him. People like that weren’t capable of loving someone or having a conscience.
“Do you think she missed me?” my girlfriend’s soft voice penetrated my rampant thoughts. “Maybe even a little. Maybe during her last moments when she finally saw his true colours. Do you think she believed me then?”
My eyes burned with unshed tears for her. All she had wanted was to feel safe, to be believed. Her own parent couldn’t do that for her but she still felt grief, still managed to love so deeply with the bruises nobody else could see.
“He finally succeeded in taking everything I had ever known from me,” was her final sadly uttered statement before she stood up and gave me a blank look. “We should go pack.”
Wynter
3.
I wasn't okay. It shouldn't have gutted me this way but it had. No matter what, she was still my family. Had been. I closed my eyes in pain. Had been my only family. I had run not just to protect myself but her as well. I'
d spoken out about my past to the world months ago not to make Mom's life unhappy but to make my truth known even if nothing had been proven in court.
And I'd thought I'd moved on. I'd thought Joshua would be good to her once I wasn't around to serve as a distraction or become a problem. But he'd always been a little deranged and finally something must have snapped.
She'd had blonde hair like mine, a fragile body and deep down, a need for love and acceptance after my father's death. As a single mother, things hadn't been easy for her. Maybe that was why she had clung to Joshua for as long as she had.
I gritted my teeth as more pain threatened to overwhelm me. Why was I making excuses for her like this? Why was I mourning for her? Why did I feel so much rage that he'd killed her when she and I had cut off all ties a long time ago.
I had Jude, right? I was supposed to be over all this and not let anything Joshua did get to me anymore. But he was still in my head. The plague that had ruined my home life and family. A dark specter which refused to leave me alone even when I was wide awake and in a safe place. That rape play scenario with Jude had taught me just how traumatized I still was. And now this unexpected turbulence in my emotional sphere was threatening to crush me.
I hadn't pushed that knife in deep enough all those months ago in Wisconsin. I regretted it now. If I had been a little stronger, a little braver...my mother would've been alive today. I'd left her with that monster and now she was gone.
Jude's fingers entwined with mine over the console of Ella's car as we drove away from our former sanctuary an hour later. Ella was still tied up in the cabin and we had decided to tip the authorities once we were clear of the area. It still irked me how he had cupped her cheek and sounded almost sorry when he told her he was leaving and she will never see him again. Then he had reassured her that someone will come for her soon.
So good. Always so good.
He would never truly understand my thirst for revenge, to ruin people who had once tried to ruin us even if he did acknowledge the unfairness of it. Jude Knight might have followed me over to the other side but he was still strait-laced in so many ways. I had to push him over the edge in order for him to accompany me because he'd never do it by himself.
I guess there was something to be said about balance in a relationship.
"Where are we going to go this time?" I questioned him numbly as the car sped down the freeway, nothing but trees and road in my line of vision and the stirring tones of Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon flowing out of the speakers.
We were a long way from the next town and I was feeling so tired. That bitch Ella's intrusion had fucked up everything. I took my hand away from his as the image of him being nice to her when we departed the cabin filtered through my messed up mind yet again.
"Out of the country," Jude replied to my surprise and I had to turn to look at him to check if he was serious.
"How in hell are we-?"
"Just leave it to me," he said curtly. "We have more money than we will ever need, Wynter. I can manage getting us to another country where we don't have to hide so much and will at least be more in control of matters relating to the law. I've texted Brent and he's going to help me sort it out."
Can I go and kill that motherfucker first though? I wanted to ask but bit my tongue.
We weren't Bonnie and Clyde by a long shot. I wouldn't trade this man for anything in the world but if he could forgive Ella and treat her well after all the damage her bitchy mouth had caused him, then him allowing me to blow Joshua Andrews' brains out was something Jude would never condone.
It may be ride or die with us but he was the light to my darkness and that was how it always will be. He'd given me so much love and treated me like a fucking princess. I guess I could make myself respect his stance on certain things.
"We'll find a motel by nightfall, honey," he told me in a warmer voice this time which melted some of the ice.
Then he reached for me again and pinned our clasped hands to his thigh as if he had no intention of letting me go. Parts of him were different since we had moved away from civilization. Jude had always been protective of me and had never been afraid to speak up in my defence but nowadays, he was insanely possessive.
It made my heart flutter because it meant he was so into me that I bet if I ever disappeared from his life now, Jude would be the one to stalk me this time. He wouldn't let me go. He couldn't stay without me just like I couldn't stay without him. It was unhealthy and fucked up and yet, I wanted that. I wanted that for as long as we lived.
"I'll arrange everything for you and you'll leave in a couple of days but I won't join you right away."
The bottom seemed to drop out of my world when he said that.
"What…do you mean?" I questioned in a very slow and very careful manner. "Did I just hear you say that you won’t be joining me right away? Why can't we both go together? I'm not leaving without you."
He clicked his tongue and slowed the car a little as the atmosphere within its confines grew tense.
"It's too risky if we leave together. And I have some business to take care of."
That was bullshit. We could make anything work if we stayed together and he knew it.
"I'm the one who organizes everything business-related for you," I reminded him. "What is suddenly so urgent that you think you need to handle it alone? I'm still your assistant in case it slipped your mind."
He let out a sigh as we rounded a bend on the road and I was thrown against the passenger door momentarily. It was still broad daylight but thankfully, we were in disguise and the plan was to abandon Ella's car in the next town then hitch a ride from there.
"Hierchay is being sold and they're inviting tenders so I need to finalize the deal before I leave. I want you to go before me and remain there. I need to make sure you're safe before I take care of this. Phillipa will be there with you so you won't feel alone."
Was he kidding me right now? "When did you decide this?" I asked sharply and snatched my hand away again because I was so angry. "You want to buy out Hierchay? The same firm that dumped you at your lowest? You should be glad they couldn't stay afloat after you left those assholes. And you want me to leave the fucking country while you're here finalizing a business deal?! What the fuck, Jude?"
"You're being dramatic. Just let me do what I have to do without having to worry about you putting yourself at risk while I'm busy."
I stared at him as his meaning washed over me. He thought I'd go after Joshua. That I wasn't going to stay put after learning of my mother's death. He knew me so fucking well. The storm inside me was brewing and looking for an outlet. And this time, my power was not an illusion. I would kill and I would make him suffer.
"Wynnie, please." Jude looked over at me briefly with an earnest expression on his handsome face. "I listen to you every time. I do whatever you need me to, give you whatever you ask of me. I don't even care if that makes me seem like a pussy." He frowned and his tone grew rigid and uncompromising this time. "Let me do what I need to do for us now. For once, I need you to listen to me. No arguments."
I didn't talk to him for the rest of the drive. Or even when we reached a gas station and abandoned Ella's car before calling the cops stationed nearer to where we had lived so we could inform them about her. And not even when a trucker gave us a ride at the back and we travelled like that for miles, lying on the bed of the truck and brooding.
"Just a few days, Wynnie," he spoke up first after the silence grew heavier than the weight on my chest. "I promise you won't have to run or hide anymore. We've had our blissful isolation experience and it was much needed. But you're only nineteen and I don't want that life for you. I don't want that life for myself anymore either. I'm ready to be J. R. Knight again. I'm ready to be strong with you."
I wanted to answer him but stubbornness kept me quiet. But I still appreciated that he wasn't ignoring me. That he made an effort to bridge the tiny rift between us. I trusted whatever plans he had made for the future but
I also hated that he had made them without me. We were supposed to be partners in crime here. And instead of understanding my grief and desire for vengeance, he was talking about business.
By dusk, we reached a motel somewhere on the outskirts of Juneau and checked in using one of my fake IDs. Yup. I still had those lying around. Our room was the nicest one in the establishment and I was happy to have a clean, safe place to spend the night.
But when I fell asleep, I dreamed of Joshua Andrews. He was holding a knife to my throat and leering at me saying, "I will come for you, Wynnie. I will get rid of you just like I got rid of her but first..." His fingers found my panties and I tried to scream but couldn't. My mother's corpse was lying right next to us and he wanted me to look into her dead eyes while he-
"Wynter! Wake the fuck up."
I was jostled awake by Jude and pushed him away on instinct because my skin was crawling and my heart was beating so fast, I couldn't catch my breath as I buried my fingers in my hair and felt like tearing it out of my scalp. Or screaming my lungs out. I was going crazy. I really was. My hands wanted Joshua's neck and my eyes ached to watch him die. I couldn't stop thinking of my nightmare, the way he had sounded so victorious even now.
Jude stayed away from me. He knew better than to touch me when I woke up from a bad dream. I couldn't simply melt in his arms and forget what was going on inside my goddamned mind.
"Why can't we just kill him before we go?" I gritted into the silence of our motel room, into the darkness that surrounded us where words like these sounded normal.
"Because Wynter, we don't want to make our situation worse," he bit out in exasperation. "We're in hot water with the law as it is. Our best move will be to leave as soon as possible." He shifted and opened a bottle of water by the nightstand before handing it to me. "I doubt Ella will out us now. I saw the look on her face after we...well, after our display in the cabin. She seemed to finally have accepted that I love you and can never be with her."
Ride Or Die Page 4
