But she didn't. Understanding filled Lissa's eyes, and she sighed. "My sister died when I was in high school."
Hannah's throat clogged, and she nodded, barely able to handle the empathy and sadness in Lissa's eyes.
Lissa smiled. "See? You sitting on that stool really is me ten years ago. How on earth could I possibly not make sure you're okay? It's settled then, don't you think? You guys can eat while I wait for the last pies to finish baking, and then we'll all head out to my place." She nodded, clearly satisfied with the decision as she set the placemats and utensils in front of Hannah and Ava. "You want some coffee?"
Lissa's kindness and generosity reminded her so much of Katie's, that it made Hannah concerned for Lissa, just as she'd worried about Katie all those years. She had spent her life trying to protect Katie from the softness of her heart and her trust of people, and she had failed in the end to keep her sister safe. She couldn't let Lissa follow the same path. "You can't possibly let me into your house. I could be dangerous."
Lissa laughed then, a gentle, warm chuckle that seemed to wrap around Hannah. "Oh, come on, Hannah. I've seen plenty of people in my life who are truly dangerous, people not worth trusting. You aren't one of them." She winked. "Besides, my house is on the Stockton ranch, and there are four huge Stockton brothers all living within shouting distance of me. They'd rescue me in a heartbeat if there was even a hint of danger, so it's fine. They'd be thrilled to have someone else to take care of." She winked. "It's in their genes to take care of people who need help, even if they would deny it all the way to their graves."
Something deep inside Hannah tugged at her, a yearning to accept Lissa's offer to crash at her house for the night. The thought of being surrounded by people who would protect her, whose natural instinct was to offer help, was almost too much to even imagine. But as strong as the yearning was to accept it, Hannah knew she never would.
She had learned too long ago that the only person she could count on was herself. Well, also Katie, but her beloved sister was no longer around, and their mother had long ago passed away.
It was up to Hannah to take care of herself and her daughter, and she wouldn't know how to put their well-being in the hands of others, even if she had to. So she managed a smile and shook her head. "Thank you so much for the offer, Lissa, but we'll be fine. If you could just write down directions to my new rental place, I'll be all set."
Lissa folded her arms across her chest, her forehead furrowing into a frown. "I really don't think you should go up there tonight, with the approaching blizzard. You don't even know if the electricity will be turned on! Plus, I don't know how to give directions. It's a bunch of back roads with no street signs. You'll never find it."
Hannah's resolution flickered. "You can't tell me how to get there?"
Lissa shook her head. "I'd have to drive you there. It's impossible to describe."
Hannah thought of the storm outside, and knew she would never ask Lissa to drive in it just for her. What was she going to do? She couldn't go home with this stranger who'd so kindly opened her house to her and Ava, but there was no way she was going to risk getting lost in an approaching blizzard with a four-year-old in the back seat. Desperation rushed through Hannah as she frantically tried to think of another solution, something other than imposing upon Lissa. "What if—"
Lissa's gaze suddenly flicked behind Hannah, and a smile lit up her face. It was a smile of such joy that Hannah knew Lissa had just seen someone she loved, someone who mattered to her. For a split second, envy flooded Hannah, a deep, almost unbearable sense of longing to have someone look at her like that, or to feel that way about anyone...but as soon as she thought it, she sat up taller on the stool.
No. There was no room in her life to make her self-worth dependent on someone else's approval. She would provide all the love that she and Ava needed. Her heart had already been broken by the passing of her mom and Katie, and she had no more heart left to risk by turning it over to anyone else.
Lissa beamed at Hannah. "Perfect timing, it seems to me, don't you think?"
"Perfect timing?" At Lissa's delighted nod, Hannah swiveled on her stool to see who was coming in. She turned just as a shadow passed by the front window, and the door opened. There was a jingle of the bells, and then a man in a cowboy hat stepped inside.
No. She was wrong. He wasn't simply a man. He was a rough and rugged cowboy, a dark, brooding loner with insanely broad shoulders, dark blond hair curling under his snow-covered cowboy hat, and blue jeans that hung low and loose over his hips. His jaw was angular, accented by a day's whiskers, and he was at least six feet tall. He was pure male and testosterone, dangerous and devastatingly handsome, in a stay-away, tormented-male kind of way. He was scowling, looking so irritated with the world that her heart turned over, because she knew the world that he was seeing. That was what she saw as well, when she looked around: darkness, danger, and isolation.
"Maddox!" Lissa called out his name, the happiness evident in her voice.
Maddox flashed her a smile, the kind of smile that made Hannah's heart tighten, because it was the kind of smile she also gave most of the world. A smile that was in name only, hiding all the weight inside her soul. It was a smile that said his heart had long ago forgotten how to smile. "Hey, Lissa," he said. "How's my favorite future sister-in-law?"
Hannah didn't even hear Lissa's response. She was too consumed by Maddox and the sheer power that seemed to be emanating from him. His voice was deep and rough, rolling through Hannah like a warm caress designed to smooth all the rough edges of her heart, and lighten the deepest shadows of her soul. Even Ava shifted in Hannah's arms, lifting her head to look at him.
As if sensing their perusal, Maddox slowly turned his head to look at them. The moment his emerald green eyes settled on her, Hannah's stomach shivered, not with fear, but with something else. Awareness? A spark of life? A sudden desire to take a deep breath and step out into the sunshine?
She didn't want this. She didn't want to notice him, or any other man. She just wanted to get to her new home and start her life over, a life where there was no more pain.
But, as Maddox stared at her, something inside her shifted. Unbidden, almost against her will, she smiled at him. She didn't mean to. She didn't want to. But there was something about the heavy burdens in his green eyes that made her want to reach out to him, to offer him the kind of light that Katie used to give everyone she met.
For a long moment, he simply stared at her. Not smiling back. Not giving any kind of indication that he'd even noticed her overture.
As he stared at her, Hannah's smile began to fade. Who was she kidding? It was Katie who had always known how to help people, not her. And why would she think she could offer relief to this tall, broad-shouldered man who could clearly take care of himself?
But just as she began to lower her eyes and turn away, he nodded at her. A single nod, so slight it was barely discernable, but she saw it. Instinctively, she knew that that little nod had been far more significant than any smile he could have given her.
A smile would have been fake.
The nod?
It had been real.
She smiled then, a real smile, her first real smile in months.
Chapter 3
Her smile was like oxygen and sunshine had merged together to give life to the darkest, most barren of existences.
That was all Maddox could think of as he stared at the woman sitting on Lissa's barstool. Her eyes were a deep, expressive brown, framed by long, black eyelashes that seemed to protect the shadows etched in her eyes. There were circles under her eyes, and her face was pale. She looked exhausted, the kind of exhausted from a lifetime of hardship, not from a day or two of inadequate sleep. When he'd first seen her, his initial thought had been that she was like a lost puppy, who needed a hug, a warm bed, and someone to watch over her so she could sleep without fear.
But when she'd smiled at him, all those thoughts had fled. Her smile seemed to plunge righ
t through all the barriers he'd erected over the last thirty years, unleashing a raw, visceral surge of emotion that he hadn't felt since the day he walked in and found his mother dead on the couch. He had shut down after that, a gradual destruction of his humanity, with the final blow being that night when he was seventeen.
He was hard. He made sure he was hard. It was the only way to survive, and it was, quite frankly, all he deserved. But with this woman staring at him with… kindness? Empathy? Concern? It felt as if she saw in him the same humanity that he'd crushed so long ago, and it made him want to suddenly breathe again, as if he'd stopped breathing years ago.
Then, the little girl clinging to her so tightly lifted her head to look at him, too. Her white blonde hair was tangled, her eyes were wide, and she was staring at him as if she'd never seen a human being before. Her face was solemn, much too solemn for a small child. Instinctively, he smiled at her, trying to coax a smile in return.
She stared at him for another moment, her face staying completely serious.
Maddox's smile widened, and he wrinkled his nose at her, just as he did with his brother's baby. He made the same face that made his tiny nephew crack up, and this little girl didn't disappoint. A little dimple appeared in her right cheek, before she ducked her head back against her mom's shoulder.
Satisfaction thrummed through Maddox, and his smile was real as he glanced again at the woman's face. She looked shocked, staring at Maddox as if he were from another planet. His amusement faded, and hardness settled around his heart again. Yeah, that's what he was used to. People looking at him like he was a fucking psychopath, which wasn't far off from the truth.
His jaw hard, he dragged his gaze off her, and settled it on Lissa's face. She was watching him with a small smile lifting the corners of her mouth. Her amusement made him frown even more deeply. "Shouldn't you be home?" he growled at his soon-to-be sister-in-law. "The driving is going to get bad really soon."
"I will, as soon as my pies finish baking. Just another ten minutes or so."
"Pies?" He couldn't keep the disbelief out of his voice. "You're staying around in this weather for pies?"
"Yes, because that way, I can freeze them, and they will be all set for whenever I can open again." Her smile widened. "Have I ever told you how much I appreciate the fact that all you guys watch out for me?"
He nodded. "All the time." He stayed by the door, not wanting to get involved. He just wanted Lissa to get out of there and to get home safely. With his brother Travis out of town, it was his responsibility to make sure his brother's fiancée was safe. "It's time to leave, Lissa. The wind is picking up, and visibility is starting to go down. When it really starts to snow, driving is going to be impossible." As he spoke, his gaze flicked to Lissa's guests again. He'd seen them drive up in the SUV with the U-Haul trailer attached. Where the hell were they planning to go? They weren't going to be able to get too far in the storm. Not that they were his problem. They really weren't. "Where you headed?" he asked them, before his plan not to worry about them had even finished forming in his head.
"The old Anderson place," Lissa answered. "Maddox, this is Hannah Crowley and her daughter, Ava. Hannah, this is Maddox. He's one of my eight future brothers-in-law, although he doesn't live on the Stockton ranch. Yet."
Maddox sighed with irritation. "You know I'm never going to move onto that ranch. You guys need to lay off. It gets annoying."
"Of course it gets annoying. Eventually, you're going to get so tired of us pressuring you to live there, that it's going to be easier for you just to move onto the ranch and build a house there, than it is to deal with our incessant, annoying harassment." Lissa grinned as she said it, looking completely unrepentant.
Maddox couldn't help but grin. He didn't like women. He didn't trust women. But his brothers who had settled down had chosen well. He particularly liked Lissa, because she somehow made him smile when no one else in the world could. Not often, but once in a while. "No chance."
"There's always a chance," Lissa announced cheerfully.
He sighed and glanced back at Hannah. He was getting restless, and had to get this settled so he could get on the road. "The Anderson place? On Ridge Street?"
"You know it?" Hannah's face lit up. "Would you be able to give me directions? I haven't been able to find it, and my GPS doesn't work without cell service. Lissa says it's too complicated and she would have to drive me, but of course I would never let her drive me in the snow. I just need to get there. Maybe you can give me directions?"
Her eyes were incredible. They'd been beautiful when she'd been staring at him warily, exhaustion weighing heavily, but now, they were literally sparkling with energy. Son of a bitch. He suddenly wanted to walk across that café, sit down on the stool next to her, and try to think of everything he could say that would bring that kind of life into her eyes. It felt like she was pouring hope right into the darkest recesses of his damaged, blackened soul. "Your eyes are riveting."
Her eyes widened, and he heard Lissa cough. Swearing, he realized what he'd said. He stepped back, his back brushing against the front door. "You'll never find the Anderson place in this weather," he said gruffly. "You need to crash in town."
"I'm not staying in town," Hannah said. "Ava and I need to get to the house, and get settled in. I can't believe it's that hard to tell me how to get there." She looked back and forth between them. "I just need directions. Please."
There was a desperation in her voice that pricked at him. He fisted his hands. "Don't be stubborn. That place has been abandoned for years. It's probably not even habitable. You can't go there."
Lissa clapped her hands. "That's what I told her. I invited her to come back to my place to stay, but she won't. Tell her that she needs to come home with me. It's the only solution that makes sense, but like you said, she's being stubborn—"
"I'm always stubborn. It's part of my charm," Hannah said.
He almost grinned. "Stubbornness isn't charming." But even as he said it, he knew he was lying. She was charming as hell, and he appreciated a woman with enough strength to fight for what she wanted. Weak or vulnerable women terrified him, because they reminded him of his mother.
"Of course stubbornness is adorable," she countered. "I'm completely captivating. So, please, succumb to my manipulative charms and tell me how to get there."
He folded his arms over his chest. "There's no chance in hell that I'm going to send you off to try to find that place in this weather."
Hannah sighed and looked at Lissa. "Is this what you meant when you said they're protective?"
Lissa grinned. "Yep. See? So, you need to come home with me."
Hannah's face fell, and Maddox felt a stab of guilt at the anguish on her face.
"I really don't want to impose upon anybody," she said with a weary sigh. "It's been a long trip, and I just really need to get settled in our place. We need to get started."
Maddox saw the raw vulnerability on her face, and suddenly he understood. She wasn't being stubborn. She was simply trying to create a foundation to hold herself up. He had been that desperate once. He also understood her need not to go home with Lissa. It was the same reason he refused to move onto the ranch with his brothers. He needed his own space, and he needed to be careful to never get too close to anyone again, so that when he snapped and fulfilled the legacy he was destined for, there would be no one close enough for him to destroy.
He met her gaze, and felt himself falling into those brown eyes. So much pain. So much grief. But at the same time there was an indomitable fierceness, the one trait that his mother had never had, which was why she had died. The exhaustion on Hannah's face made it clear that, despite her fierceness, she had so little reserves left. She needed to be home, he knew it. He could see it on every line of her face, and the way she held her daughter so tightly.
Swearing, he glanced outside at the blowing snow. He needed to get the hell on the road, or he would be stranded in Rogue Valley, too. But when he looked back in
the café, he saw the two women watching him, both looking at him like he held the key to everything. He clenched his jaw, and then Ava lifted her head off her mom's shoulder and looked at him. Those silent blue eyes stared at him, wrapping around his heart, and he swore, realizing that there was no chance in hell he was going to drive out of town until these three females were safe. He'd come to the café to make sure Lissa was safe, and now Hannah and Ava were also on his list.
He sighed, swearing under his breath as he realized he might as well just accept the truth, that he was sunk. Glaring at them all, he jerked off his coat, tossed it on a chair, and strode into the café. "I'll finish the pies, Lissa. You get the hell back home. Once they're in the freezer, I'll escort Hannah and Ava to the Anderson place. Got it?" But as he spoke to Lissa, he couldn't keep his gaze from sliding over toward Hannah as he approached the counter.
There was no way for him to miss the sheen of tears as they filled Hannah's eyes at his words, and suddenly he knew he'd done the right thing. His life was dirty and gritty, and there wasn't anything pretty about it, but he knew in that moment, that he'd done something that mattered.
"Really?" she whispered. "You will?"
"Yeah," he said gruffly. "It's not a big deal. I was headed that direction anyway." Which was passably true.
She smiled, a smile so genuine that he smiled back. Yeah, that felt good.
Lissa, not surprisingly, frowned at him, however. "What if the heat isn't on? What if the house isn't actually habitable?" She folded her arms over her chest. "There's no way —"
"I'll check it out. If it's not okay, then we'll head to the ranch. Okay?"
Lissa narrowed her eyes at him, then finally nodded. "Okay, but I'll stay and finish the pies, so you can get going with them. It's a much longer drive out to the Anderson place than it is for me to get back to the ranch."
A Real Cowboy Loves Forever (Wyoming Rebels Book 5) Page 2
