The fervor in his words confused her. He had a point — she had departed from the ways of her family, even though dishonesty had been drilled into her all her life. It wasn’t so far fetched to think that he, too, could have chosen a cleaner path.
She let out a heavy sigh. “If I’m wrong about you, Brisco, I’m sorry.”
“Wow, that’s some apology.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not prepared to go any further than that.”
He studied her. “All right. That’s fair.”
They stood quietly for a long moment. Then he asked, “Does this mean you’re canceling my lesson for today? I was looking forward to getting into the cockpit.”
She shrugged. “Meet me at the hangar. You’ve already paid, after all.”
Carny left him standing, got into her pickup, and slammed the door. And as she pulled out of her driveway, she told herself that she was losing her mind. There was no reason on God’s green earth that she should trust him. Yet, somehow, she almost did.
The lesson in the plane was fraught with tension, making the cockpit seem even tinier than it was. Carny’s words were clipped and to the point. In previous lessons, she had tested Logan’s knowledge of the plane’s controls, navigational equipment, and check sheets, all of which they’d covered in ground school. Now, they took the plane up so that he could apply what she had taught him.
“Not bad,” Carny was forced to admit, watching him turn the plane and circle back over her hangar. “You have a good feel for this.”
“I told you I’m a quick study.”
She refrained from saying that all con artists were quick studies. He’d seemed genuinely hurt, earlier, by the fact that she kept accusing him, and by her derogatory comments about his friend. His pensive, quiet attitude confused her. There was real sincerity in his eyes. Authentic vulnerability.
“Tell me something,” she said into her headset. “When you and Jason were fishing, what did you talk about? The park?”
“No,” he said. “We talked about fishing, and I helped him with his addition, and we had an interesting talk about ‘least common denominators.’ “
She glanced at him, noting the slight grin. Jason must have repeated something she’d said. “You helped him with his math? Why didn’t he ask me?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “But I’m good at math, and I think I explained it so he can understand. He was going to take it home and work on it and bring it back for me to look at tomorrow. We planned to go fishing again.”
“No need — I’ll check his work,” she said.
She talked Logan through the approach and landing, and both of them were quiet until the plane was on the ground.
As the plane taxied to the tarmac, Logan spoke again. “Look, about this thing with Jason. I honestly wasn’t trying to go behind your back. It’s just that I’d never been fishing before, believe it or not, and the first time I went with him I enjoyed it so much that I couldn’t wait to do it again.”
Her head snapped toward him. “The first time? This wasn’t the first time?”
He sighed. “No. There was one other time. You thought he was with Nathan, but I went instead. Carny, mostly we sit and fish and don’t say anything. He cut me in on something fun that I hadn’t experienced before. He’s a great kid, and I like being around him. But obviously it upsets you. I won’t do it anymore.”
She cut off the engine, and for a moment they sat still, neither speaking. “You have to understand, Brisco. I want to protect my son. That’s why I never went back to the carnival. That’s why I kept him here in Serenity.”
“I don’t blame you,” he said, imagining what it must have been like for Jason to have a mother like her. “He’s the most precious possession God’s given you.”
Another long moment passed, and she whispered, “That sounds funny coming from you. I didn’t have you pegged for someone who believes in God.”
He stared out the cockpit window for a moment, wrestling with the question. “I used to. My mother used to say prayers with me, take me to Sunday school. But that was a long time ago. Then I lived with a family who went to church but lived like the devil. As you grow older, you start questioning the logic in believing.”
“Whether you believe or not doesn’t change God’s existence.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I think I really do believe, whether I consciously want to or not. I’m just not so sure God believes in me.”
“You might be surprised,” she said. “I was picking pockets when I was seven years old. Helping to fix games when I was ten. I used to feel like I had too much baggage to ever turn around. But then I found out that he’s even a shepherd over the black sheep.”
Logan smiled softly, and his eyes sought hers. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it put quite like that. Still trying to convert me, Carny?”
“Heavens, no,” she said. “I’d never believe it if you did convert.”
“That’s right,” he said with a chuckle. “You’d figure it was a part of a con.”
Silence settled over them again. Finally, she sighed. “Look, Brisco. I guess it wouldn’t hurt for you to go fishing with Jason now and then. As hard as it is for me to admit, I guess he needs that.”
Logan stared at her, surprised and touched at the tiny step she’d taken toward accepting him. “Thank you, Carny,” he said. “I promise I won’t do anything to hurt him.”
She opened the cockpit door and got out, the stiffness of her posture indicating that the conversation was over. Only then did Logan realize how much the concession had cost her. But it had cost him as well.
As she walked back into the office, he stood still in the middle of the hangar. There wasn’t much that he liked about himself right now. He had almost succeeded in earning her trust, knowing all the while that he intended to betray it.
twenty-two
When Logan drove up to Carny’s house the next afternoon, Jason was waiting for him, armed with two fishing poles and a bucket of bait. Out of his pocket stuck a fat envelope, and his shirttail was half out of his pants. His face had grown more freckled from time in the sun, and Logan smiled at the sight of him.
“Logan, I’ve got something for you!” he said, running to the car and dragging one of the poles in the dirt. “Something really great.”
Logan got out and took the poles from Jason as Jack hopped down from the front seat. “What? Tell me.”
“Our investment.” The boy stopped to breathe. “At school, everybody brought their investment, and they gave it all to me —”
“Whoa,” Logan said, bending down and getting eye level with him. “Start over. What do you mean ‘everybody brought their investment’?”
“I mean, the kids. The teachers didn’t know, because we thought they might not like it. But they each brought what they had to me. I’ve got three hundred dollars here. Is that enough, Logan? Can you go back to those people now and get them to start building the park?”
Logan straightened slowly and took the envelope from Jason. “Three hundred dollars? Where did everybody get it?”
“Allowances, birthday money, piggy banks. I had sixty dollars that was last year’s birthday money and the money in my stocking last Christmas, and another sixteen dollars and fourteen cents in my piggy bank. And don’t worry. I made a list of all the investors and how much they gave, so when we get rich, you’ll know who gets what. That’s how you do it, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Logan said quietly. “That’s how, all right. But I was serious when I said I wasn’t trying to get money from the children. I just wanted ideas. And I’ll have to check with all the parents.”
“We know. And the teachers are collecting the ideas, ‘cause there’s so many. But isn’t this great, Logan, about the money? Aren’t you happy?”
“Yeah, sure,” Logan said, trying to sound enthusiastic. “It’s great. Really.”
“Is it enough? ‘Cause we could probably raise some more, if we had more time. We were thinking we could ha
ve a bake sale or wash cars.”
“No,” Logan said. “This’ll be fine. It’s real close.”
Jason’s eyes danced. “Are we gonna be rich, Logan?”
Logan hesitated. “You know, Jason, being rich isn’t always about money. You already are richer than you know, what with your mother and all the people who love you, and this great town you get to grow up in. Money isn’t going to make you happier.”
“Sure it is, because you can buy lots of cool stuff,” the boy said. “You know what’s the first thing I’m gonna buy? One of those pretty red dresses like they have in the window of Miss Mabel’s Boutique, for my mom, so she can get a husband.”
Logan laughed in spite of himself. “I don’t think your mom is too worried about finding a husband.”
“Then he has to find her,” he said, “and I think that red dress is just the thing that’ll lure ‘em. Come on. The fish are really biting today. I just know it!”
Logan stood for a moment as Jason ran off ahead of him and disappeared into the trees. This afternoon wasn’t going to be as carefree as Logan had expected.
It didn’t pay to have a conscience, Montague had always told him. And all afternoon, as Logan talked and played and fished with the little boy who trusted him, he discovered how true that statement was.
His conscience, which he’d always managed to carefully ignore, had begun to rear its ugly head with amazing frequency lately. Even Jack seemed to look at him with shame-filled eyes, as if to say he knew what Logan was up to and didn’t want any part of it.
Stupid. That was what he was. He was stupid to get involved with Carny Sullivan’s son. He was stupid to take on the care of a dog. He was stupid to have stayed this long.
They caught half a dozen fish, but Logan couldn’t shake his melancholy mood. When he was ready to go, Jason wasn’t ready to quit fishing yet, so Logan said goodbye and walked pensively back to his car. He had to do something, and fast. He was sinking so deep that, if he didn’t act now, he might never get out.
Driving back to the motel, he made the decision that it was time. He would take what he’d already gotten — more than he’d expected when he first concocted this scheme — and get out of town. But the thought gave him little comfort. Reaching for the dog that lay curled on the seat next to him, he said, “So, Jack. How would you like to see the world?”
The dog gave him a blank look, and Logan stroked his soft coat and thought about how difficult it would be to travel now. Jack would complicate Logan’s life drastically.
But he couldn’t leave Jack behind. Logan knew what it was to be alone and confused. He understood abandonment and grief. No one, until Montague, had cared what happened to him. Nurturing Jack meant, in some small way, nurturing the child in Logan who had had no one. It was silly, he thought, and some shrink would probably have a field day with it, but there it was, nonetheless.
He pulled into the motel parking lot, and Jack followed him up to their room. It still smelled of must and stale cigarette smoke from the previous occupants. He had fantasized more than once of buying a little house in Serenity, putting a few pieces of furniture in it, and actually unpacking his bag for a while, but his practical side had told him how ridiculous that would be.
Locking the door, he pulled out his bag, rolled up his clothes, gathered all of his toiletries. Then he rounded up all the paperwork and log sheets that he’d kept, all the notes he’d taken on building a real park, and all the books he’d studied about it. He was definitely leaving here with more than he’d come with, breaking another of Montague’s rules.
He would have to move fast. He needed to get out of the country before the people of Serenity realized they’d been had. Maybe Costa Rica. Even with extra baggage and a dog, he’d probably be all right there.
After boxing up his computer and printer, he made one last check of everything in the room. Satisfied that he’d packed it all, he sat down at the table to count the cash he’d gotten from the citizens of Serenity. It was enough to live off for a couple of years, while he kept a low profile wherever he wound up, just long enough for the Feds to stop looking for him. There was no doubt that the moment Serenity realized he’d run out on them, Carny would have the FBI on his case.
He pulled the fat envelope Jason had given him out of his pocket, dumped out the three hundred dollars in coins and dollar bills. At the front of the stack of money, he found a page in Jason’s crude handwriting, listing the investors by first names only, and the amounts they had contributed.
Are we gonna be rich, Logan? The boy’s words echoed through his mind, and he tried to imagine what Jason’s innocent little face would look like when he learned that he’d lost all his friends’ money, and that Logan had been nothing more than a crook.
He searched his mind for the rationalizations that usually came so easily. Jason needed to learn this lesson. It might save him a wad of money later in life. He needed to realize that he shouldn’t trust someone so readily. He needed to understand that crooks come in all shapes and sizes, and that they needn’t look scruffy or questionable to stab you in the back.
But none of those rationalizations worked. Jason would be worse for these lessons, not better. That was why Carny had chosen to raise him in Serenity, after all. She was trying to protect her son in a way she had not been protected.
And what would she think? That she’d been right? That Logan was nothing more than a two-bit thief with an expensive smile? That the tiny bit of trust he’d begun to cultivate in her was proof of her weakness? Would she ever trust a man again?
He didn’t like the sudden black hole that had formed in his heart, and he couldn’t stop the disturbing questions that kept racing through his mind. Finally he made out a new envelope and addressed it to Jason. He stuffed the children’s money into it, along with the list, and sealed it.
Then he began to harden himself enough to leave the town behind forever.
twenty-three
The evidence was indisputable. Carny gaped at the broken piggy bank on Jason’s desk, its pieces left scattered over the wooden top as if he’d been distracted by something else. The bank had been almost full after she’d made him return the money to it, yet there was no sign of the money now.
She told herself to stay calm, that there was probably an innocent explanation. He’d probably forsaken the four-wheeler he’d been saving for and decided to buy a pair of skates or a new fishing pole instead. The fact that he’d done it without consulting her, thus breaking a major rule in their household, disturbed her even more.
As the sun was beginning to go down, she went looking for him and found him in the woods on his way back from the lake, carrying the string of fish he’d caught and talking to himself. He was alone, a fact that relieved her somewhat, though she was sure she’d seen Logan’s car parked nearby earlier.
“Jason!” she called.
He spotted her and, smiling, picked up his step until he was running toward her. “Mom, we caught six. Logan let me keep all of them.”
“I need to talk to you,” she said. “In the house.”
He looked up at her with saucer-shaped eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Come on, Jason. In the house.”
“Is it about Logan?” he asked, walking as fast as he could to keep up with her. “You said we could fish together. Don’t you remember?”
“I remember,” she said, almost feeling sorry for him. She opened the screen door and held it for him as he went in. “Put the fish in the sink. You can help me clean them later.”
He did as she said, then washed his hands and turned back to her. “What is it, Mom?”
“Jason,” she said, pulling out a chair and sitting down so she could face him eye to eye. “I want to ask you something, and I want you to tell me the truth. Where’s the money that was in your piggy bank?”
He immediately glanced away. “I’m sorry I broke it, Mom, but it was taking so long to shake it out, that I finally just whacked it. I know I was supposed to
ask you.”
“Jason, where is it?”
“Well, I decided I didn’t need a four-wheeler. There are more important things.”
An overwhelming feeling of injustice washed over her, and she felt her heart tightening. “What things?”
“Well, you know how you’re always teaching me to save. Some things are just like saving … only they make you more money later.”
She knew then where the money was, and why he was trying so hard to avoid answering her. Closing her eyes, she whispered, “Jason, did you give that money to Logan?”
He was silent for too long, and when she finally opened her eyes, she saw him staring stubbornly at her.
“Jason, I asked you a question. Did you give that money to Logan?”
“Yes,” he said through tight lips. “And the money I had under my mattress too. Last year’s birthday money and my Christmas money. But so did all the other kids at school. We raised three hundred dollars. We’re gonna be rich, Mom!”
Instantly, she shot to her feet, almost knocking over the chair. “And he took it? He actually took the money from little children?”
“Well, why wouldn’t he? We want to be partners too. We’re gonna be VIPs, Mom.”
“No, you’re not!” she shouted. “You’re not going to be anything, because I’m getting your money back tonight! And if he won’t give it to me, I’ll press charges and have him thrown in jail!”
“No, Mom! You can’t do that! I want him to have it! All the kids want him to!”
“How much of it was yours, Jason? Exactly how much?”
“Seventy-six dollars,” he said. “But I don’t want it back. If you get it, I’ll find a way to give it back to him. It’s not your money. It’s mine!”
Carny was livid. “Go to your room! Now!”
He kicked the coffee table, then headed to his room, slamming the door. She followed him and threw the door open. “Now you stay here until I tell you to come out!” she shouted. “And while you’re in here, you can clean up that broken bank!”
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