by Dena Christy
“Ha ha.” Mercy turned and came to sit at the table. “I’m not that bad. I do take breaks from work, you know.”
Although, she was protective of her work time and got ugly if she was interrupted when she was on a roll. But fortunately, Honor had come over when it was time for her to take a break anyway.
“And the not texting back? That is really not like you at all.”
“I was busy doing other things and wasn’t around my phone.” Heat crept up Mercy’s cheeks when she thought about exactly what she’d been doing that she couldn’t find the time to look at her phone.
“Oh. That explains a lot.” There was a knowing grin on Honor’s face and Mercy laughed as the kettle whistled. She stood up to prep the tea. “Rafe and I enjoyed being snowed in too. So, how are things between you and Alex now that you are sleeping together again?”
Mercy poured the hot water over the tea bag that was sitting in the teapot as she thought about what Honor was asking. She knew that she wasn’t inquiring about how the sex was. She was sure that her friend assumed that since it had torn her away from her phone for days, it must have been spectacular. It had been.
“We are moving toward something. Neither of us has talked too much about the future yet. I’m kind of glad about that since I just want to enjoy the time with him without worrying about the future. Sometimes that’s easier said than done.”
She got cups out of the cupboard and brought them over to the table. Honor gave her an understanding smile.
“I’m surprised that you aren’t freaking out, yet.”
“Why would I be freaking out?”
Mercy turned and got the teapot, bringing it to the table so that she wouldn’t have to get up again after the tea steeped to pour it. She didn’t know what Honor meant by freaking out. Sometimes she worried about where things were heading, but that wasn’t the same thing as freaking out.
“You would freak out because that’s what you do. You get close to someone and you spend all your time waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
Mercy shook her head. “This isn’t like those other times. The relationships I was in before were different than this.”
And that acknowledgment made her freak out a little. But she wouldn’t admit that to Honor. She had told herself that she was going to take what was between her and Alex one day at a time.
“Well, I agree that Alex is a worthy man for you, unlike the other’s you let into your life.” Honor reached for the teapot and poured a cup for Mercy and for herself. “And I’m happy to see that you two are settling into a harmonious life. Things are going well between you two?”
Mercy took a sip of tea as she thought about the question.
“Things are going much better than well. I have to pinch myself sometimes to see if I’m dreaming all this.” Honor raised an eyebrow at her and Mercy realized that she was falling back into her old habit of not believing that she deserved good things to happen to her. “I know what you’re thinking. It will take some time for me to get used to being with someone like him. I’m taking it slow, since a big mistake I’ve made in the past to rush into things. For now, I am enjoying being with him, I love sleeping with him, and I’m excited to be having a baby with him.”
And that was all true. And she didn’t want to get ahead of herself by thinking years down the road. That was definitely the road to freaking out. She was going to take things with him one day at a time for now.
“Okay, now that we have that cleared up, I’ve heard something and I want to know if it’s true.” Honor took a sip of her tea, and there was a certain hesitation in her eyes as if she didn’t want to bring it up. Mercy had a feeling that she knew what her friend was going to ask her since she would have heard about Sawyer’s Place’s new bartender by now.
“You heard that Dwight is back?” Mercy refused to refer to him as her father. As far as she was concerned he’d given up the right to be called that when he’d walked away from her and her mother. She hadn’t seen him since that day on her doorstep, and in a way she was relieved. At least he wasn’t pushing to be a part of her life.
“I had heard that. Have you talked to him?”
“Not really.” Mercy took a sip of her tea, and the hot liquid soothed some of the anxiety that wanted to bubble to the surface inside her. A part of her wanted to talk to him, to find out why he’d walked away from his family all those years ago. It warred with the anger that lurked inside her like a monster waiting to come out. It had fed on every schoolyard taunt she gotten as a child after he’d left. Every missed birthday, the missed graduation, every important event in her life that he’d missed out on only fed the monster. And it had roared to life inside her now that he’d come back. “I don’t know if I want to. He just showed up on my doorstep, as bold as you please as if he’d only gone to the store for a few minutes.”
“Did he say anything about where he’d gone? About why he left you and your mother?”
Mercy sighed as she took another sip of her tea. “He wanted to come into the house and talk. Said he wanted to explain why he’d left, but I didn’t give him a chance. A part of me wants to say, fuck him, he had his chance to come back and apologize for walking out on us. He should have done it while my mother was still alive since she was the one who deserved an explanation. She was the one who had to be a mother and father for years, who had to work herself into an early grave to keep our head above water.”
That was a big part of her resentment of him too. Her mother had died of bone cancer, but she couldn’t help but think that if she’d had an easier life, she would not have been vulnerable to the disease. And a part of her thought it wasn’t fair, that her mother, who deserved to have a long and happy life wasn’t here while he was.
Honor looked thoughtful as she took a sip of her tea. “You know what I’m going to say, don’t you?”
“That I should talk to him.” Mercy set her mug down with a thunk. “I don’t owe him anything, so why should I give him the satisfaction of hearing him out?”
“You’re right, you don’t owe him anything. It’s not for him that you should do this. You are starting on a new path in your life, and if you want to go toward a happier future, you need to resolve some stuff from the past. I don’t know if hearing why he left will make any difference in how you feel about him, but if you will move on with your life, you need to put an end to this particular chapter.”
God, she hated when Honor was reasonable like this.
“I know you’re right. I don’t particularly like it though. It feels like I’m letting him off the hook somehow.”
“You aren’t letting him off the hook at all. He did the worst thing that any man can do, abandoning his family like that. And you have let that one act inform how you live your life. If it will play such a big role in how you see yourself, don’t you think it’s worthwhile to find out why it happened?”
Mercy looked down at the table for a moment. Her father walking out on them played such a big role in her life that it colored everything else in her life. She didn’t owe him anything, but she owed her mother and herself to find out why he’d walked away from them.
“Looks like I’m going to be having lunch with dear old dad.”
Once that decision was out of the way, the conversation turned to more pleasant things. Despite her enjoyment of her friend’s company, a certain nervousness curled up inside her at the thought of having lunch with Dwight. She pushed it away. What would happen would happen, and no amount of worrying would change it.
For the first time in a long time, Alex wanted to be home rather than at work. Not that he didn’t enjoy what he did. He loved working at the bar. But Mercy was in his home, and he’d had several days where the only thing he had to worry about was taking care of her and pleasing her. It was like a dream, and now he was back to reality.
And a big part of that reality was Dwight. It was his first day, and Alex was finding it difficult to be civil. The bar really wasn’t busy enough for two ba
rtenders, but Logan had wanted Dwight to come in and get a feel for the place on a slow day.
“You ever tend bar before?” There was something about the way Dwight moved around the bar, making the few orders that came in that told Alex that this might very well be his first gig as a bartender. He moved with a slow, awkwardness that spoke to an unfamiliarity with the job that went a lot deeper than just being in a new workspace.
Dwight looked at him, and Alex could read his desire to lie in his eyes. It was subtle, and he might have missed it if he hadn’t been looking at him so intently.
“Of course.” The lie came out as smooth as velvet, and Alex marveled at the balls this man had. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that he’d never done this sort of thing before, and yet he had the audacity to stand there and bald-faced lie about it.
It made Alex think that Dwight had the ability to lie about a lot of things.
“Bullshit. You’ve never worked behind a bar in your life.” Alex shook his head as he grabbed a cloth and wiped down the bar. He didn’t know why he cared that Dwight was new at this.
Actually, he did. It was because of Mercy. This man should have devoted his life to protecting her until she was grown, but he’d easily walked away from that responsibility. Alex had seen how upset she’d been when he’d waltzed back in her life as if he’d never been out of it. The big question was why and why now?
“What is your problem? Who gives a shit if I haven’t done this work before? I don’t know what it is to you.”
Alex threw the cloth down on top of the bar. “Why are you here?”
Dwight gave him a confused look for a second. “Because the boss hired me to work here. I didn’t know it was that hard a concept to grasp.”
Alex shook his head. “That’s not what I’m talking about. Why are you here in Cold Bay?”
“Like I told Logan, I’m here because my daughter is in the area and I want the chance to get to know her.”
Alex looked at him hard, but he couldn’t read anything in Dwight’s face. The lie about working at a bar had been an easy one to read based on his observations of how Dwight performed the tasks he was given. But Alex hadn’t observed him around Mercy and so he couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth about getting to know her being his motivation.
“Don’t you think that was something you should have done years ago? That if you’d stayed with your wife and daughter you wouldn’t have to go through the effort of getting to know her at all, that you would already know the person she is since you would have been a part of her life from the jump?”
A sly, speculative look came over Dwight. It was a calculating look that made Alex’s hand clench into a fist at his side. He wanted more than anything else to bury his fist in this man's face, but he knew that if he did that Logan would kick his ass to Eden Creek and back. And not to mention, he had no idea how Mercy would feel about him hitting her old man. She might see it as him standing up for her, or she might see it as interfering in her life. Either way, it was probably a good idea for him to keep his hands to himself.
“What’s it to you? You make it sound like you have a personal interest in her.”
He did, but it wasn’t the older man’s business.
“Whatever.” Alex turned away and didn’t bother to acknowledge Dwight's question as he did his best to keep himself busy. And his refusal to answer was more than answer enough.
“You do have a personal interest in her. Do I need to ask what your intentions toward her are?”
Dwight crossed his arms around the front of his chest and leaned his hip against the bar. Alex rolled his eyes.
“She’s practically a stranger to you, and you have no right to ask me anything about my relationship with her.” This jerk wasn’t trying to play the “dad” card, was he?
The corner of the other man’s mouth turned up and Alex could see that the anger in his voice had told Dwight what he wanted to know.
“You shacking up with her?” Dwight didn’t look like a protective father, quite the contrary. He seemed to find the notion of particular interest as if he was gathering information about Mercy.
And it pissed Alex off to hear him ask questions about her in such an insulting way. What he had with Mercy was a lot more than just shacking up. She was living in his house because it was where he could keep her safe, and he was sleeping with her because he was falling in love with her. Shacking up made it sound like there was something wrong with that, especially when it was said by this man.
“You don’t get to play happy families with her. What she and I have together is none of your fucking business. You gave up the right to ask about anything about her life when you walked away from her when she was a toddler.”
His shout echoed in the bar, and far from being offended, Dwight looked amused, which only pissed Alex off more.
Roger poked his head through the pass-through. “Hey Dwight, since you don’t seem to have much to do, the bathrooms need cleaning.”
“Oh yeah, says who?” Dwight didn’t look like he was inclined to do anything that Roger told him, but since Logan wasn’t in today and Alex had started his new role of manager, Dwight would have to listen to him.
“I said.” Alex’s voice was firm, and for a second it looked like Dwight wanted to challenge him on it. “Give me one reason to have your ass fired. I dare you.”
Dwight’s lips tightened in a look of simmering resentment before he turned away and stomped away from the bar. Alex watched him as he went to the supply room that was beside the bathroom and went inside to get what he needed to clean.
“Am I going to have to referee every time you two are working together?” Roger braced his hands on the top of the pass-through. “If I am, I’m going to ask Logan for a raise because I’m too old to put up with this kind of shit in my twilight years.”
Alex sighed. “No, you won’t have to referee. I won’t let him get to me. Has he always been an asshole?”
Roger looked at him like he was crazy. “How would I know? I’ve never been around him before today.”
“Didn’t you say you knew him from back in the day?”
“Nope, I only knew him by reputation. And come to think of it, because he is the kind of man who would walk away from his woman and his baby, then I’d say yeah, he’s always been an asshole.” Roger looked at him quietly for a second. “Which brings me to why you’re letting him get to you. You’ve dealt with assholes before, and I’ve never seen you this hot over it.”
Alex sighed. “I rarely take asshole behavior personally.”
“But that gal of yours makes it personal, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah, she does.” Living with Mercy, falling in love with her, had given him a front-row seat to seeing the damage that her father leaving had done. And was still doing.
His instinct was to protect her, to keep her from being hurt. But he knew that this was not something he could shield her from unless that was what she wanted. And it pissed him off that Dwight was here in the first place, acting like now she was important enough to him to warrant him asking Alex what his intentions were. As if Alex was the one who was out to hurt her when that was the furthest thing from the truth.
“One of two things will happen. She’ll either let him get to know her or she won’t. You don’t have control over either of those things. All you can do it stand by her and pick up the pieces if things go to shit.”
“If he hurts her and things go to shit, I will do more than stand by her. I’ll kick his ass.” Just the thought of Dwight hurting Mercy more than he already had made the anger simmering in Alex heat up a few notches.
“That’s fine, but unfortunately you’ll have to wait to see how this will play out. She won’t thank you for running interference if getting to know her old man is what she wants.”
With those parting words of wisdom, Roger moved away from the pass-through and went about his business in the kitchen. Alex turned away and did his best to keep himself busy. Eventually, Dwight
returned from cleaning the bathrooms and fortunately he kept his mouth shut.
The phone rang and Alex went over to answer it. To his surprise, it was Mercy on the other end of the line.
“Is something wrong?” His grip tightened on the phone for a second and when her laugh came on over the phone, he relaxed a little.
“Why is that always your first thought? There is nothing wrong. This will sound a little strange, but is Dwight there by any chance? I tried calling him at the motel, but when Bill put me through to his room, there was no answer. I thought I’d try here in case he’s starting the bartender job.”
Why would she want to know if Dwight was here?
“Yeah, he’s here.” He waited for her to tell him why, but the silence stretched out for a few moments.
“Do you think you could get him to come to the phone? I need to talk to him for a minute.”
“Sure.” Alex pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at Dwight. “It’s for you.”
Dwight gave him a puzzled look as he came over and took the phone.
“Hello?”
Alex moved away to give him some privacy. He was dying to know why Mercy was calling to talk to him, but if she wanted him to know she would have told him.
Alex walked away from the bar to go to the one table that had customers to check on them to see how they were doing. His questions were automatic and everything was fine with them, and he could see Dwight hanging up the phone, so he moved back toward the bar.
Dwight smirked at him as he got back behind the bar, and the urge to punch him in the face was there if only to wipe that look off his face.
“Well, looks like she wants me to play happy families.”
Dwight moved away from the bar, whistling as he went.
11
Mercy’s stomach tied itself into a nervous knot as she pulled her car into the bar’s parking lot and stopped in a spot right in front of the building.
“What do you have to be nervous about? You don’t have to prove anything to him, it’s the other way around. He has to prove that his explanation of his abandonment was worth the pain he inflicted.”
