by Haley Travis
The answer finally came to me Sunday afternoon in the middle of my workout. Since I spent so much time sitting still while operating a crane every day, I had to overwork my muscles on the weekends to keep fit.
Showering quickly, I raced to Tara’s apartment. Maybe it was rude to drop in without texting first, but I wanted to surprise her.
Her door opened seconds after my knuckles tapped against the wood. “Jared? What are you doing here?”
Sweeping her backward, I barged right in while pulling her into my arms. Kissing her rough and deep, I walked her back until she was laid across her bed. Her lips parted, letting me devour her completely as I hovered over her. My shaft was hard in a blink, and I had to shift my hips to keep from pressing against her.
Tara’s soft moan against my lips made me crazy, but I couldn’t be with her again until she knew the truth. Even if it nearly killed me.
“I missed you,” I said, sweeping back her hair at the side of her neck to trail my lips along her sensitive skin. “I can only stay for a minute, but I need to ask you something important.”
Jumping back, I pulled Tara up so she was sitting, blinking in surprise. “Okay. What?”
“That event I told you about. It’s Wednesday night. Will you be able to join me as my date?” Her beaming smile made me want to tear her clothes off and worship her body immediately, but patience was going to pay off.
“Yes.”
“Can I pick you up at your store at six?”
“Yes.”
Giving her one more quick kiss, I turned to leave.
“Wait!” She reached out for me frantically, gripping my hand. “How fancy is it? What should I wear?”
“It’s casual,” I said. Her eyes remained latched on mine, as if begging for more information. “Whatever you normally wear to work will be fine,” I said, as I leaned into nuzzle her ear. “But I think you look angelic in light colors like white and this baby pink.”
My fingers trailed around the neckline of her little t-shirt, slipping down to wander across the very top of her breasts. Her breath was uneven as those lovely eyes stared up at me.
“See you Wednesday, beautiful,” I said, hurrying out the door.
The next two days were going to be extended shifts at work, and I’d probably be barely able to keep my eyes open. Although I’d make a point to call and text her over the next few days, leaving her breathless and wanting more. I had to keep her thinking about me.
Finally showing her what I actually did for a living, and who I really was, would be a relief.
11
_____
Tara
The past few days had gone by in a blur, and by six o’clock Wednesday evening I felt like I had just shot three espressos. I couldn’t wait to see Jared.
Over the past two evenings we’d been sending endless cute little texts. He had been asking me all about my preferences in books, music, and movies, remarking on how much we had in common.
I wasn’t used to anyone having the same slightly quirky media choices that I did. Either we really did have a lot in common, or Jared was going out of his way to let me know how much he cared about me.
For the first time ever, I felt like a man was absolutely infatuated with me. He listened carefully to every word I said, and seemed to think I was smart and funny. It was strange, feeling this desired. I absolutely loved it.
I’d been telling Jared about my ideas to create a website skewed more toward busy parents, and he was so encouraging that I spent an hour studying how to pitch new business ideas. In my particular case, I didn’t need anything formal since my company was so open, but it helped me organize my thoughts.
When my boss, Lynne, happened to come into the shop Wednesday morning, I showed her what I’d been working on.
She absolutely loved it, and asked me to work on it for another few weeks before showing her a more complete outline. Then we could call in a professional web designer to polish the layout and make everything functional.
Strangely, I wasn’t sure whether I was more proud of the work itself, or that I’d gone ahead and done something without talking myself out of it. It felt so good to take a chance and put myself out there, even through the nervousness. Taking control of a situation was oddly satisfying.
I absolutely couldn’t wait to tell Jared. It was difficult not to call him on my lunch break, but I wanted to see his eyes when I told him in person.
At five after six, I had checked my make up three times, and finally locked up the store so no last-minute customers came in.
But Jared hadn’t called or sent a text all day. The old, shy me would never say a word, but Jared seemed impressed whenever I forced myself to be more outgoing, so that’s what I was going to do.
Me: Hey – just checking in. If you’re running late, that’s fine, but please let me know so I can wait for you in the coffee shop.
After ten minutes, there was still no answer.
Me: I’m in the coffee shop, just grabbing a snack. Give me a call and let me know what’s up.
My stomach was beginning to twist in knots. Logically, I knew that Jared probably got tied up at work. If he was in a meeting, he couldn’t just drop everything.
Staring out the window I sipped my tea slowly. Come to think of it, had Jared ever mentioned meetings? I recalled trying to ask him specific things about his work, but had he ever given me a straight answer?
The shifting tension in my stomach grew. I didn’t even know where Jared lived. Sure, we’d only been together a week, but he hadn’t even mentioned a neighborhood, had he?
Mentally combing through every conversation, I couldn’t latch on to any mention of friends, or specific work events. Everything had been vague, or “years ago”.
There were so many horror stories of people falling for lies and deception because they were so eager to fall in love too fast. Was that what I was doing?
Was I so desperate for someone’s approval that I was only seeing what I wanted to?
I knew that in many ways Jared was way out of my league, but he seemed excited by our budding relationship. Somehow I was going to have to find a way to relax, and just let things happen.
That sort of thing never came naturally to me, but I was going to have to try.
12
_____
Jared
I could only use my phone for work while I was up in the crane, so it was hell to wait until quitting time to return Tara’s messages. All night long, through errands and dinner, we were constantly in touch.
Guiding the conversation so that we never discussed work, I learned a lot more about her. Every fact I uncovered was like discovering a new piece of this precious girl.
Tara loved suspenseful movies, but not horror. She loved being on the edge of her seat about to scream, but no blood and guts.
She liked a wide variety of music, as long as the singer wasn’t hollering in that “crunchy death metal voice”, as she had put it.
She loved almost every kind of food, but tried to eat vegetarian a few days a week in a low-key effort both to stay healthy, and to be more environmentally aware.
Everything about Tara seemed well balanced. She was blissfully normal in so many ways. I’d known women who needed high drama at all times, and that didn’t seem to be in her nature, which was a great relief.
Wednesday afternoon, I had another hour left on my shift, but the crew was finished with the crane for the day.
Some people liked to take off the second they were done, but I always felt it was good to check in with the team to hear how everyone was doing. Plus, taking a stroll through the open air of a partially-finished building always gave me a bit of a thrill.
Vincent, Mark, and Bobby were having a coffee just three semi-open stories down from the roof, with work happening all around and above their spot near the framework of a corridor.
“Slackers,” I chuckled as I walked up to them. Part of working well together was giving each other shit as often as possib
le.
“Good sir, the gentlemen are merely enjoying a much-deserved coffee break,” Vincent said in his snobbiest voice.
“Are you coming to the opening tonight?” Mark asked.
“Of course he will,” Bobby laughed. “Free food.”
“Yes, I’ll be there, and I’ll expect you reprobates to be on your best behavior,” I said sternly, attempting to hold back a grin.
Vincent shook his head. “That cute girl from the coffee shop?”
“Yes.” I could almost feel my chest puffing up with pride that everyone was going to know Tara was my girl.
“Fling or long haul?” Mark asked.
“Permanent, I hope,” I said, nodding to myself.
“Wow, guys, he ain’t joking around,” Vincent chuckled.
“I don’t know,” Mark drawled, giving me a shifty look. “We might have to–”
“Heads!” A voice screamed from above us.
I couldn’t see what was falling, but instantly shoved the three of them farther down the corridor. Spinning to see how close the falling objects were, I managed to block my face with my arm just as the lengths of falling rebar clattered all around and against me, slicing open my skin.
13
_____
Tara
After sending another text, I finished my tea and got ready to leave the coffee shop.
It was hard not to feel absolutely crushed, but I tried to hold on to the hope that there was a perfectly good reason for Jared not showing up. After all, we’d been together barely a week. He didn’t owe me anything. Just because my feelings were far too strong and had come on far too fast didn’t mean that he had to reciprocate. It would have been nice, though, I thought sadly.
The cold, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach was spreading. There was a very good chance that I’d been reading more into the relationship than was actually there. Had I wanted so much to believe that we were falling in love that I saw things that weren’t even there?
I went home feeling like there was a black cloud overhead, disgusted with myself. Whatever Jared’s reason for not showing up was, it didn’t even matter. He probably had a huge, interesting life, and I could be the girl he hung out with when he had a slow weekend.
Even as I heard the way I was talking to myself, I knew it was wrong, but couldn’t stop it. Falling across the bed, one of my many pillows still smelled just a tiny bit like Jared.
That did it. The sobs burst from my chest like an explosion. Before I even knew what was happening, my back was heaving as tears streamed down my face.
Was I really so pathetic that I could imagine someone like Jared loving me? It was ludicrous.
After nearly an hour of crying like a child, I straightened up and threw away the tissues that had begun to pile up around me like snow drifts.
What would Angela do in this sort of situation? She’d call and get to the bottom of this, and not accept such treatment.
My sister was pushy, but she always got her way. Just this once, it might be good for me to at least pretend to have a backbone.
I decided to call one more time before drowning my sorrow in the half pint of ice cream hiding in the back of my fridge for just such an emergency. My hands shook as I picked up my phone and hit the buttons.
“Hello?”
It was a woman’s voice. An entirely new set of fears flooded my mind. I didn’t even consider that he might be married. What an idiot.
Every instinct said to hang up immediately, but I needed to know the truth. “Hello, is Jared there, please?”
“He is, but he can’t really talk right now,” she said slowly.
“Okay. Could you please tell him that Tara called?”
“Oh – Tara, it’s Jessie. From the fashion show.”
Relief flooded my body like a cool breeze. Thank goodness it wasn’t another woman.
“Hey – Jared was supposed to meet me, but he didn’t show up and he’s not returning my texts. Did he get hung up at work?”
Jessie sputtered part of a laugh that didn’t sound at all humorous. “Not hung up, more like cut open.”
“What?” I practically shrieked.
“He’ll be fine, he’s just going to be loopy on pain killers for another hour.” There was a pause, and I might have heard Jared in the background asking who was on his phone.
“Hey, can you come over?” Jessie asked. “I really have to get to an event, and I don’t feel right about leaving him alone.”
“Sure, of course.”
She gave me the address, and I splurged for a cab to get there as quickly as possible.
How strange that I felt so close to Jared, yet I hadn’t even seen his home yet. I didn’t even know whether he lived in one of the extravagant condo towers downtown, or a giant house in the Hill Estates neighborhood.
I was surprised when the driver pulled up in front of a very nice but rather ordinary house. The door opened before I even knocked, as Jessie came tearing out, waving to the cab driver before he could pull away.
“Wait! Where is he? What do I do?” I asked.
“Upstairs bedroom. The drugs have mostly worn off, he just needs to be supervised for another hour or so to make sure he doesn’t try to stand up.”
I tried to ask for more information, but Jessie shut the car door and took off down the street.
I walked into the house and locked the door behind me, feeling like an intruder.
As I slipped off my shoes, I looked around the foyer and living room. It was neat and tidy, but not something I would have expected from a wealthy man. Everything was very comfortable and down to earth, with no fancy artwork or extravagant touches.
Walking slowly up the stairs, I called out, “Hello? Jared?”
There was a rustle coming from the first room, behind the half open door that I cautiously pushed open. “Jared?”
He was sitting up in his bed with his back against the headboard, and his right leg propped up on pillows. A large bandage ran nearly the full length of his shin. There were also a few bandages on his right forearm, and a few scratches on his temple.
The second he saw me, his face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. “Tara, my gorgeous pretty girl. Come sit with me.” He patted the spot beside him on the king-sized bed.
Looking around at the pile of books on his bedside table, the large photo of a mountain range, and the dark green accents around the room, everything looked blissfully normal. Very nice, but not stuffy or posh.
I was honestly relieved. Here I’d been so worried about fitting into his world, or not being good enough for the millionth time in my life. I’d be able to feel comfortable in this room.
The way he instantly reached for me, wrapping those thick arms around me, made me feel perfectly grounded.
Then he nuzzled my hair, rocking me slowly. “I want you with me all the time,” he murmured. “You belong right here.” His arms squeezed around me until I giggled.
Whatever was going on, he wanted me. Nothing else really mattered.
14
_____
Jared
Watching Tara walk in my door was an incredible thrill. Even though her fingers were fluttering and she wouldn’t stop biting her lip, I knew that she would relax as soon as I held her.
There was some reason I wasn’t supposed to take her clothes off. It was hard to remember what that was.
But at least I was starting to remember some important things again. A little while ago, Jessie had to tell the taxi driver my address to get me home. The information had just fallen out of my head and drifted away.
This is why I never took drugs, and rarely had more than two drinks. Feeling this weak and out of control was positively disgusting.
As I looked into Tara’s eyes, there was something wrong. It took me a minute to put a finger on it. “Baby, why are those magical eyes a bit red?”
Her eyes snapped shut and she shook her head.
Holding her tightly against me, I rubbed her back. �
��Gorgeous, did someone make you cry? Tell me who it is so I can go kick their ass.”
My head tilted sideways as I inhaled her light apple shampoo, her warmth, her sweetness. “Let me be a good boyfriend for you. Tell me what to do.”
