by Delisa Lynn
The cab ride home is silent, Audrey passed out next to me. Pulling in front of our building, I try to wake her but she won’t budge so I carry her in and lay her in her bed. She’s so beautiful. I push her hair away from her face and take her shoes off. I find her a sleep shirt and slide her dress above her head. I then slide the shirt over her head.
“Zander, I’m cold. Please hold me.” She says as she reaches for the blanket.
“Okay, give me a few minutes to change and I’ll be back.” I say as I kiss her forehead.
“No, sleep in your panties. Don’t leave me.”
“Panties, really?” I laugh.
I slide my boots and jeans off and pull my shirt off. I crawl in bed next to her. She snuggles into my chest. As I lie there and hold her, I feel myself trying to think of a way to stay away from her. As Tatum said, I’ll just hurt her. I could never hurt her. She is the only girl I’ve ever and I mean ever had feelings for.
As I lie there holding her, I know tonight will be the last night. I can’t continue feeling for her. The night we shared together, will be a night I’ll never forget. If Tatum hadn’t reminded me, I would have asked Audrey to be mine tonight and God only knows how that would have played out. I will just continue my classes, working, and hope that we will not see each other as much. Drifting off to sleep, I find myself dreaming of Audrey.
I awake with a splitting headache. I’ve been in the bathroom throwing up everything that’s left inside of me. Tatum sent me a text and said she’s going home, I hope nothing happened with her and Evan. I could have sworn Zander slept in my bed, but he wasn’t here this morning when I woke up. There’s aspirin and water sitting on my sink and a post it note, from him.
I start the shower and feel that same sharp pain in my stomach. After I take a shower, I’m going to go to the Urgent Care.
I shower, and get dressed. It’s May and it’s kind of warm, so I put on a pair of yoga capris and a tank top with a thin hoodie, and I pull my hair up on top of my head. I Google the address and phone number for the Urgent Care and call there to see if they take my insurance. Then I call a cab and leave Zander a note telling him I stepped out for a bit. I feel hungry, but don’t want to eat anything, I damn sure don’t want to be back in the bathroom. So I make a cup of Café Mocha coffee. It is my favorite, but it doesn’t taste so great today, so I just grab a bottle of water.
Arriving at the Urgent Care, I pay the cab driver and walk inside. It’s small and busy. I sign in and the receptionist takes my I.D. and insurance card. I fill out a few papers, and then sit and wait. One of the questions in the paper asked if I could be pregnant. But there’s no way. I’m on the pill and I haven’t slept with anyone in months except… Oh my God! Zander didn’t use a fucking condom. That motherfucker has knocked me up. OMIGOD, I can’t be pregnant! There is no fucking way, my dad will kill me. Just the thought of it is making me even more nauseous. I stand up to run to the bathroom and find a trashcan instead.
“Audrey Ridge.” A short woman calls from the door.
“That’s me, I’m sorry I just got sick in this.” I say holding the trashcan.
“Bring it in with you. My name is Jamie, I’ll be your nurse today.” She says as she motions me to a small room.
“Thank you, I think I have food poisoning.”
“Okay, let’s get your vitals. I’ll also take a pregnancy test to make sure it’s not that. Your last menstrual cycle was in March? You didn’t have one in April?”
“That’s correct. I’m on birth control, sometimes I don’t have one every month.” I say as I wringing my hands together. I do that when I’m nervous, and right now, I’m nervous as fuck. I love kids, I do. But I still have almost three years of college left and I’m single. How can I raise a kid and go to school.
“Okay, I’ll need you to give me a urine sample. The bathroom is right around the corner. Just leave this is in the door, above the sink and I’ll test it. You can come back in here once you are finished.”
I take the sample cup and walk to the bathroom. I feel like I am going to faint. Once I reach the bathroom, I do my business and leave the cup in the cubbyhole. I walk back into the room and the doctor comes in. Of course, it would be an old man. I’m not a fan of male doctors because they always make me uncomfortable.
“Miss. Ridge, I’m Dr. Lee. Jamie tells me you may have eaten something bad?”
“Yes, sir. I ate some hotdogs from a cart vendor and I’ve been throwing up for two days, and I keep getting a sharp pain in my stomach.” I say as I point to where the pain is.
“Well, my dear, I don’t think it’s the hotdogs. You are pregnant, Miss.”
“I’m what?” I say as I look at him as if he just killed my dog.
“You are about four to five weeks according to your last menstrual cycle. I will refer you to an OB/GYN. In the meantime, I’ll give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. I’ll also give you a pamphlet that will have information about adoption and abortion.”
“That won’t be necessary. I’ll be keeping my child, sir.” I say as I feel tears streaming down my cheek.
“Okay, dear, I’ll meet you out front with the prescription and referral.”
“Thank you, sir.”
I call a cab, and walk out to get my information. I’m fucking pregnant. There is a little Zander growing inside of me. Oh, dear God, Zander. How do I tell him? All of a sudden, I feel like I can’t breathe, my palms are sweaty and my knees are shaking. I gather all the information from the receptionist and walk out.
As I stand outside of the Urgent Care, waiting my cab, I begin to think how this will affect everything. What if I tell Zander and he leaves me just as his dad did my mother. He is not the settling down type. My thoughts are interrupted as I get into the cab, and the stench of cheap cologne in the cab hits my nostrils. I manage to throw up outside of the car.
“Sir, I am so sorry to have wasted your time. Here this should cover the expense.” I say has I hand him fifty-dollars. I decide walking to Walgreens and then home, will be better.
The walk to the drugstore is about three blocks away; I can use the fresh air. I can’t stop thinking about the night Zander and I made love. We created a baby that night, I will never forget that night—even if I hadn’t gotten pregnant, I would still remember it. I’ve never been with anyone like him. He is amazing and he says he loves me, but I just can’t let him in.
Audrey has been acting so goddamn strange lately. I brought a friend home last Friday and I swear, I saw tears in Audrey’s eyes. We didn’t even do anything. I can’t be with anyone because she is all I think about. One of the girls from my physics class wanted me to sleep with her, but I turned that shit down. Yeah, I have it bad. Real fucking bad. Maybe I should just ignore everything Tatum and Evan tell me about hurting her. I notice she has been taking some sort of medicine and I hope that she is okay. I just don’t fucking get it, she keeps shooting me down.
I’m taking a week off of classes and flying home for a few days. I need to see my parents. You would think after living in the same area for twenty years that I would be happy to stay away. That’s what I thought, until I started missing everything that I normally saw every day. My momma will be so happy to see me, I’m sure my father will too. He of course will put my ass to work.
It’s early, but my flight leaves at nine am, so I decided to cook breakfast and offer Audrey to eat with me. I make eggs, sausage, and toast. She loves strawberry, orange and banana juice. So I made sure I picked some of that up as well. I go and knock on her door—I know she is probably still asleep.
“Audrey, darlin’, I made breakfast. Would you like to join me?”
“Umm, yes. Give me a second and I’ll be out.”
“Okay, I’ll make our plates.”
I head back into the kitchen and prepare our plates. I know that she likes hot sauce on her eggs, so I pour a little on them. I notice she is walking out of her bedroom. She’s wearing a pair of yellow sleep shorts and a white tank top.
I can see her pink bra through the tank top. My dick salutes instantly. I stand behind the counter, because I know she will be able to see it. I need to think of something to get my mind off of her looking good enough to eat. Computers. What the hell, I think of computers? That should take my mind off her beautiful body. Ahh, yes it does. I say to myself, “Down, Milo, good job.” Yes, I named my Johnson, Milo.
“Morning. Sorry I look awful, I didn’t sleep well last night. Thank you for this, it looks and smells amazing.”
“My plane leaves in a few hours, and I thought I would make us breakfast. I’ll be gone for a week. Will you be Okay? Evan and Brody are both home, if you need anything.” I say as I take a bite of my eggs.
“I’ll be fine. I have a busy week actually, we just got several new clients at work, and I’m in charge of a few new projects. These eggs are so good, you even remembered the hot sauce. Thank you.”
“Oh yeah, Evan was saying that you all are expanding. Of course I remembered the hot sauce.”
“Shit… Fuck, damn it. I’ll be right back.” She said as she took off running to her room.
“Audrey, are you okay.” I say as I follow her.
“I…I’m fine… Oh, fuck, this shit is getting annoying. Oh God, please make it stop.” I heard her say.
I run into the bathroom to find her kneeling in front of the toilet with her face down in it. I grab her hair with both hands and kneel down behind her. She’s trembling and crying now.
“Princesses, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl, but thank you. Shouldn’t you get ready for your trip?”
“I don’t want to leave you alone sick, how long has this been going on?”
“I’m good. It’s just a stomach bug. Go on, thank you though.” She says as she stands up and washes her face. I kiss the top of her head and go to get dressed. I feel bad for leaving her like this. But she seems to be okay being alone. I go into my room and make sure I have everything together.
I walk out of my room, and see Audrey cleaning up the kitchen. She looks like she is feeling better. I grab my keys and tell her goodbye. I think I’ll walk down to ask Evan to keep an eye on her.
“Dude, open the door.” I say as I knock loud.
“Do you know what time it is? What the hell do you want?”
“Good to see you too, man.” I say as, I pat Evan on the back. “I’m leaving. Can you keep an eye on Audrey for me?”
“Dude, just ask her to be your woman already. I can’t keep tabs on her, she is an adult, you know.”
“She isn’t feeling well, you dick. So just make sure she is okay and doesn’t need anything.”
“Okay, I’m going back to bed. Have a safe trip, brother.”
“Thanks, I’ll try.” I say as I walk out and catch a cab to the airport. This just doesn’t feel right. I feel like I should cancel my trip and stay with her. No matter how hard I try, she pushes me away. I just can’t shake this fucking feeling though.
Watching him walk out that door, I have so many regrets. I’ve wanted to tell Zander that I’m pregnant… I just haven’t gotten the fucking balls to. I still can’t be with him. I have no doubts he would be great to the baby and me, but my heart just couldn’t take it if he walked away. So by not allowing him in, is saving me the heartache.
Today will be the first time in months that I have been alone. The cleaning lady is scheduled to arrive any minute. I love the fact that she cleans every inch of the loft. This place gets really dusty and she makes sure that it is dust free every week. I decide to take a shower before she arrives. As I stand there reminiscing about the night Zander and I made love, my thoughts are interrupted by Sylvia the cleaning lady. She scares the crap out of me.
“Oh, Miss Audrey, I’m so sorry. I thought you would be gone by now.” She said apologetically.
“Oh hell, I should be. I lost track of the time. Clean my room last so I can get ready please.” I say as I jump out of the shower and run into my closet. Getting ready, I tried to think of a way to tell him everything, maybe a letter or just flat out spill the beans.
He’s been gone a few day’s and I can’t stop throwing up. This child hates everything I eat or drink. I swear he or she is going to be as picky as me. Poor kid. I am starting to feel a little movement; last night when I was watching music videos, I could feel movement in my stomach. I don’t know, maybe it’s just indigestion or my nerves.
Evan and Brody have come over and checked on me daily. I know Zander put them up to it. Today, I’m going shopping I need to find some pants that fit, all of mine are getting tight. I know soon, I’ll have to let everyone know that I’m having a baby. Right now, I like the idea of keeping it to myself. Fucking Ian has been calling again. I swear I should have blown his nuts off before I left home but hell that probably still wouldn’t have stopped him from calling me. I haven’t told my father or Zander that he’s calling again. I hate to be such a pain in everyone’s ass.
Walking into the mall, I venture into Victoria’s Secret. Fuck, I won’t be fitting into these panties in a few months. I get the biggest size they have and then walk over to the ‘Pink’ section. I get every color of boyfriend sweats and stretchy capris they have. I grab a few new bras also. My boobs are starting to pop out of my current ones. I noticed this morning that my fucking nipples are very tender.
Sitting at the mall food court eating a pretzel, I see a young couple holding hands and kissing. Once they face me, I see her small baby bump. She’s gorgeous. They look so happy. I rub my small almost round bump and whisper to my blossom, I think I will tell your daddy about you. I know it’s probably the hormones talking, but fuck, I know I can do this alone but I don’t want to. I decide to text Zander and tell him I would like to talk to him when he gets home.
Me: We should talk when you get home. You need anything from the mall?
Zander: Okay. What, you kicking me out? Not that I can think of, unless you want to get yourself some sexy lingerie and wear it for me.
Me: No, I’m not kicking you out. In your dreams, playboy. You aren’t coming anywhere near this body.
Zander: We will see about that.
Me: See ya, twatface.
He doesn’t respond back, I know he is laughing at me. I decide to buy him a baseball hat since I’m here. He has always loved the ‘Cincinnati Reds.’ After spending the last two hours at the mall, I head home. I’m ready to take a bubble bath. It is Friday night and I should be going out, but since I can’t drink, my night will consist of a bubble bath. Then my favorite movies with the sexy Channing Tatum, I also have a pint of salted caramel gelato.
Evan and Brody were both out. They told me this morning if I need anything to call them. Unlocking my door, I almost drop all of my bags. Finally, I get inside and walk into my bedroom, and as soon as I throw the bags on my bed, I hear a knock. Who the hell could it be, normally you have to be buzzed in.
I walk back into the living room and look through the peephole, but it’s covered. Fucking men, I tell ya. It has to be one of the guys playing a trick. So without thinking it could be someone else, I swing the door open. Boy do I get the surprise of my life.
“Ian. What the fuck do you want?” I ask as I try to close the door back. The harder I push he pushes forward. Just my damn luck this fucker would show up and ruin my night.
“Well, I’m happy to see you too, baby. Now, now, don’t shut me out. I told you, you couldn’t run too far. I’ve been watching you baby, I know you miss me.”
“Ian, I have a fucking butcher knife and trust me I’ll not be afraid to use it on your dumb ass. Now get out before I chop your fucking dick off.” I’m trembling as I step backwards trying to get the knife. Of course, it’s further away than I thought.
“Come on, beauty, don’t treat me like this. I miss you baby. I miss us.”
Here we go with this crazy jibber jab. This dude is seriously a few marbles short of a brain.
“There is no us, are you fucking psycho? How ma
ny times do I have to tell you that?” I yell, hoping someone would hear me.
“You are mine, beauty, always have been and always will be. So I hear you have that farm boy living here with you. I know he isn’t here now though. I knew that would give me a chance to come reclaim what’s mine. You let him fuck my tight pussy?” he breathes as he is closer to me, I have the knife in one hand, and I thought I had my phone but it’s in my purse on my fucking bed. Smart, Audrey, real smart.
“Nothing of mine is yours, Ian I would really hate to kill, you but if you come any closer, I will.” The knife is shaking in my hand; just as I step back he lunges at me, making me drop my fucking knife. Stupid bastard.
“Stop, don’t make me hurt you. I need you, Audrey. Mmm, I’ve missed that scent of yours. I’ve missed all of this. You gained some weight haven’t you?” he says as he has me pushed against the cold hardwood floor.
“Get off of me, I swear to God of all things good or fucking bad, I will slit your goddamn throat.” I say, but then a light bulb clicks in my head, I swear sometimes, you would think I was a fucking blonde. “Ian, let me up and I’ll show you how much I’ve missed you baby.” God, please let him believe me.
“Promise me.” He says as he runs his hand over my face. The look in his eyes are scary, he is a monster.
“Promise, I will show you exactly how much I missed you.” I say as I slide my hands over the front of his jeans. Ugh, I hate touching him, but to protect my blossom and myself, I have too. He lets me up and I still pretend I want him. Standing up, I push him against the counter, and wrap my hands in his hair, as I crash my lips into his. Holy fucking yuck, I hate this dirty bastard. I could feel the bile creeping up.
“That’s my girl, give me all of you, Audrey. I need you so damn bad.” He groans as he wraps his hands around my waist. Pushing his very erect small dick, I must admit into me.
