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“Welcome back, Willow,” I murmured.
Still smiling, I took off the plastic cape and started to fold it…and then froze at the sound of the back door opening.
Footsteps started heading through the office. I leaped to the wall and pressed flat against it. My eyes flew to my parka draped over a chair, with my pistol still in its pocket. Damn it, what had I been thinking? I reached for my angel, ready to send her out to grab it – and then the intruder’s energy hit my senses, and my jaw dropped.
Thoughts tumbling, I stepped away from the wall just as Seb entered the room.
We stood staring at each other. Seb had on faded jeans, a grey sweater, a forest-green leather jacket. His chestnut hair was slightly damp, curling more than usual with the snow. There were flakes melting in it even now, as I watched.
Finally I cleared my throat. “I, um…thought you’d go to Idaho. ”
Seb’s eyebrows flew up, and suddenly I realized how angry he was. “Idaho,” he repeated mildly, as if considering the idea. “Yes, of course – that is exactly what I would do, when I wake up and find you gone, and Kara lying about not knowing where – and her mind full of thoughts about you facing Raziel and having to shoot yourself if you’re caught. Yes, I’d go to Idaho. It’s so obvious. ”
“Seb—” I broke off as it hit me that I was standing there in only my jeans and bra. My cheeks burned; I pushed past him to grab up my shirt and yank it on again. “You didn’t have to come after me,” I said as I flipped my wet hair out from under the collar.
“No?”
“No. This is something I have to do alone. I don’t need your help. ”
“Did I say—” Seb stopped himself and shoved his damp curls back; he sank down onto one of the chairs with a laugh that held no humour at all. “Yes, I know you don’t need my help. Do you think I see you like some delicate flower?”
“Fine, so why are you here?”
He made a strangled noise, his knuckles white as he pressed them against his eyes. I could almost hear him mentally counting to ten. “Do you really have to ask me that? Really? Willow, no matter what, I am not capable of going to Idaho when you’re planning to get yourself killed. Stupid, I know. ”
“I’m not planning…” I sighed and sat down in the chair next to him. “That’s not what I’m planning. ”
“You’re planning to go face your father. In your case, I think it’s the same thing. ”
That one was kind of hard to argue with. “Look, this is just something I have to do, all right?” I said. “I’m not going to let Raziel destroy my hometown. ”
“I know. ” Seb’s voice was quiet. “I’m not trying to talk you out of it. ”
And he wasn’t, I realized in surprise. I don’t actually want to die, you know, I thought of telling him…but despite my moment of peace as I’d gazed out over the plains, I wasn’t totally sure that was true. Disturbed, I crossed my arms over my chest.
As if in reply, Seb’s gaze went to my hair. “Very pretty,” he said dryly. I could tell he knew exactly why I’d done it.
I gave him a look. “So anyway, thanks for coming, but I’m fine on my own. ”
Seb’s eyes flashed. “You haven’t been listening to a word I say, have you? Please, tell me: are you trying to drive me crazy?”
“Since you ask, no. This doesn’t actually have anything to do with you at all. ”
Deceptively calm, he said, “No, of course not. Because I’m just some guy you barely know, yes? Someone you used to teach a class with. Why should I care if you die? Go, do it, have fun. ” His jaw tightened. “Dios mío, Willow. You are the most infuriating, blind—” He broke off, then lapsed into a string of rapid Spanish. I had a feeling that I didn’t want a translation.
He slumped against his chair, frowning; a silence fell that crackled with unspoken words. I started to snap something back – and then hesitated.
For the first time, I noticed that I wasn’t the only one who’d changed these past twelve months. Seb’s stubbled face looked older too – and like my eyes, his hazel ones held a year’s worth of pain. Maybe even more.
It stopped me in my tracks. I cleared my throat and looked away. “Well…I guess we’d better get going, then,” I said after a pause. I stood up and grabbed my parka. “I mean, since you’re so determined. We’ve still got a long way to go. ”
Seb’s eyes flicked to mine. He shook his head. “I was right,” he said, unfolding his long legs from the chair. “You are trying to drive me crazy. And you do it very well. ”
Outside was the 4 × 4 that we’d taken from the base, parked at a skewed slant next to mine. By unspoken agreement, we were taking my truck. I clicked it open, and Seb started shifting his things over.
He didn’t have much. As he tossed a length of garden hose into the back, I realized he must have been siphoning gas from abandoned cars: not a fun way to cross the country. Not to mention that I knew he wasn’t an experienced driver. Guilt touched me, remembering how I’d deliberately taken a different road than he’d expect. Deep down, I guess I’d always known Seb would do this.
When we got into the truck, I put the keys in the ignition and then just sat there for a second, running my hands over the wheel. “Seb, I’m sorry,” I said finally. “Kara asked me to leave without saying anything, so I did. But I should have sent my angel back to tell you. ”
He glanced at me, his expression unreadable.
“I promise that I didn’t just…leave without thinking what it would be like for you,” I went on haltingly. “I did think about it, and…it made me feel really sad. I guess that’s why I told myself you’d go to Idaho. I didn’t like to think…” I couldn’t finish.
Seb rubbed his stubble with a thumb. “Forget it – it doesn’t matter,” he said finally, sounding tired. “I needed to practise my psychic skills anyway. What better way than to follow you across three states?”
It was tempting to just smile and start the truck, but I knew that more needed to be said. I cleared my throat. “There’s, um…something else I need to apologize for. This whole last year, the way I’ve treated you…”
He went very still.
“It wasn’t anything you did wrong, okay? It was because…” My cheeks were bright red. Haltingly, I explained my flash of jealousy when I’d seen him kiss Meghan at the party, so long ago now. “I hated remembering it,” I finished. “Whenever I did, it – it felt as if I’d betrayed Alex. ”
Seb’s voice was quiet. “I knew you were jealous that night,” he said. “And I also knew it meant nothing; it was like…you were a child and someone had taken away your candy that you weren’t eating. ”
I winced, but that was pretty accurate. “Anyway, I’m sorry,” I said. “For all of it. ”
Seb hesitated. “I think you should forget how you felt, Willow – it didn’t mean anything. It was just…” He shrugged; his tone took on a hint of teasing. “For so long, you must have thought I was your private property, yes? Whether you wanted me or not?”
Angel Fever Page 51
