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Seb had been sitting quietly through all this, missing nothing. “What about Kara?” he asked.
I froze. “What about her?”
“Kara is an AK,” Seb explained to Nina and Jonah. “And she, too, is immune. We don’t know that the others aren’t,” he added, looking at me. “During the battle, the angels weren’t trying to feed; they were only trying to kill. ”
I shook my head dumbly. “Seb, no – this is just too strange. There’s no way it can be true. ”
He shrugged. “I don’t know… I’m thinking now of how attached everyone in the base was to you. I’d feel it, sometimes – as if everyone’s energy was reaching towards you. I thought it was just – that they liked you, you know? But…” He fell silent.
I’d felt the same thing. Oh god, I’d felt the same thing. My blood chilled. Whatever was going on couldn’t really be to do with me, could it?
“Okay, but even if this is true…it doesn’t change anything,” I said finally. “Because if the only people this happens to are ones who’ve spent time around me – well, I can’t spend time around the whole world, can I? The angels will still win in the end. ”
“It must mean something. ” Nina’s voice was tight with frustration. “If you could just find a way to harness this thing—”
“How?”
“I don’t know; you’re the one who can defeat them!”
“Don’t you think I’ve racked my brains for two years now, trying to figure out what I could do? There’s nothing! I’m just me, Nina, not Supergirl. ”
There was a long pause. Nina blew out a breath and stared down at her tea. Jonah’s eyes were kind but disappointed – and I realized with a jolt that they’d been hoping I was the answer. From Seb’s wry smile, I knew that he, at least, hadn’t believed for a second that we’d avoid a fight with the angels.
I didn’t believe it either.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Nina and Jonah. “I’d give anything if I knew how to defeat them. But if you’re looking for a saviour, you’d better look somewhere else. ”
The room grew warmer as the fire took hold; finally Jonah started to speak again. The rest of his story didn’t take long. He’d come here looking for me and Alex, and found a dark town full of people who were immune to the angels. With Jonah’s knowledge, they started training themselves and bringing their attackers down.
It had taken a long time for the angels to figure out what was going on. Once the Edens got under way, they didn’t come here often – and when they did, their small groups were decimated by dozens of fighters, leaving no trace.
“But a few months ago, we started going out after them,” Jonah said. “At a raid on Schenectady Eden recently, one of our fighters got killed. Or at least that’s what we thought. Now, though…” He shook his head. “It looks like he might have still been alive and got captured. ”
Seb’s eyes narrowed. “Why do you think this?”
“Just before dawn this morning, we found a group of angels in their human forms, prowling around town. ” Jonah glanced at me. “That’s, um – why everyone was kind of on edge when you got here. The angels tried to fly away, and we got them all, but it was like they were scoping the place out. And now, with an attack coming…” Jonah swallowed. “I’ve got a really bad feeling our fighter, Chris, told them everything about us. ”
I nodded. “The angels know,” I said in a soft voice. “They definitely know. ”
“And it will be more than just an attack that comes, I think,” Seb said, shooting me a glance.
He was right; we had to tell them. I cleared my throat. “Look – Seb and I both feel like whatever’s going to happen here will be major. ”
Nina stared. “Major how?”
“I don’t know. Affecting the whole world, somehow. ” I paused and looked down at my mug of lukewarm tea. “You and the others could always evacuate,” I said. “The army that’s gathering is massive – I’m not sure how much of a chance we actually have. ”
“I’m not leaving,” Jonah said, his jaw tensing. “This is my home now; I don’t have another one. I’ve run away from them once – I won’t do it again. ”
Nina’s face was set. “I don’t want to leave either. The others will feel the same. ” She gave me a sharp look. “You didn’t come here just to tell us to leave, did you?”
“No. ” I hesitated, but knew there was no going back. “I came to face Raziel and get rid of him for good. ”
Jonah’s expression darkened. I could sense him remembering how much he’d once revered his angel-employer.
“Raziel?” he repeated.
“He’s my father,” I said levelly. “And I’m not going to let him destroy what’s left of Pawntucket and live. ”
THE MAIN OFFICE IN THE town hall was piled high with scavenged goods. Ignoring the thought of all the people these things had belonged to, Seb sifted quickly through the clothes. He was wearing just his jeans, his skin still damp from a hasty wash with chilly water. Scott the football hero hadn’t returned yet with the others, though they’d be back any second.
Footsteps echoed in the marble hallway. Seb glanced up; Willow’s voice floated in – she was talking to Nina. He stood motionless as their footsteps faded – then shook his head and snapped on a T-shirt.
Though he would never have thought it possible, kissing Willow again had at least done one thing for him: the thought of trying again with her, ever, held no appeal at all. He couldn’t believe it had happened again – to be kissing her, then find out it was Alex she wanted. And this time it had killed something vital in him. Even if Willow came to him now, totally over Alex, and said she wanted him – he’d tell her no and he knew it.
There was a mirror propped against one wall. Seb stopped and stared at himself, frowning, as the momentousness of this hit him.
Dios mío…it was really true. He’d finally had enough.
In a daze, Seb sank down onto a desk. Searching his emotions, he found only a deep sense of caring for Willow. He loved her, yes; he always would – but in love with her?
No.
After sixteen years of thinking himself in love with Willow, he’d at last come out the other side. Yet the sadness was still there, so ingrained within him that he could feel it in every cell.
Willow’s frustrated voice came back to him: At least be honest with yourself! Why do you think you’ve been so unhappy these last few months?
The ghost of the argument still infuriated him. To go from kissing Willow to being told that he wasn’t really in love with her at all—
Deep down, his angel stirred. But you’re not.
Seb’s jaw clenched as, from out of nowhere, he remembered when Meghan had taught him to drive: the way she’d laughed when he’d stalled them with a lurch, sending her auburn hair swinging forward. Suddenly his chest felt hollow. He clutched the back of his head and sat hunched over, almost wanting to punch something.
And then glanced up, startled, as Jonah stepped in.
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