by Ford, Rinna
For the last month and a half, it felt like my worries were suffocating me and they only seemed to pile on more and more. But the sun still rose every morning and set every evening, no matter what and it would continue to do it for all of eternity. Life went on, and mine would too. I just needed to handle things one at a time.
I made my way back to the mansion, stepping through the backdoor to find Camille in the kitchen with Grayson and a few of his shifter friends. I knew I looked a little wild, a little windswept but I didn’t care. I began to walk past them without saying hello when Grayson stopped me.
“Emelia, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked. The bear looked a little beaten down, probably from his girlfriend for the part he played in my turning.
I raised one eyebrow, but didn’t answer his question out loud. But I didn’t move away either.
Grayson cleared his throat. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how it happened. I knew what was coming, but I didn’t expect it to be as hard on you as it was. I still believe you are the person from the prophecy, so it needed to happen, but I realize I went about it the wrong way. You should have had the choice.”
I stared at him for a second before nodding once and then glancing at Camille. She walked over to her boyfriend and slipped her arm through his and going up on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. She was proud of how he apologized and honestly it was nice, but not what I cared to hear at the moment. Yes, I was feeling much lighter about my situation, but I had already written off Grayson and most of the residents of the house. Their feelings didn’t register to me and I had no problem with that.
“Thanks,” I told them. “Goodnight.” I continued on my way through the living room and up the stairs to my bedroom. I had every intention of getting a good night’s sleep, hoping the rest would bring more clarity. After all, I was going to be feeding from Matias again in the morning.
* * *
I slept for almost two hours before waking up feeling more refreshed. I dressed quickly and went downstairs in search of sustenance like Matias told me to do. His reasoning for asking me to do this was good because I would be well-fed and less likely to take too much blood. I wanted to make it as easy on him as possible, not that I was doing a good job in other areas.
I walked down the stairs quietly since most of the residents were sleeping and went into the kitchen. I expected to be the only person up besides the other vampires, but Amos was rummaging through one of the large refrigerators. When he stood up straight, he had a beer in one hand and screwed the top off with the other.
“Hey there,” he grinned, surprised to see me. He pushed the beer toward me, offering it to me.
I shook my head, declining his offer and lowered my eyes as I walked around the island toward the fridge where the blood was kept. I pulled out a couple of bags and lay them on the counter before reaching into a cabinet for a glass.
When I turned back around, my grandfather was leaning against the counter, watching me intently. He brought the beer to his lips and drank down some of the bitter liquid, his eyes never leaving me.
“Is there something you wanted?” I asked him. He and I weren’t friends, hell I didn’t even consider him an acquaintance. I didn’t owe him anything, not even a polite attitude with the shit he pulled.
“You don’t look at all like your dad, but you definitely act like him,” he smiled wistfully.
“I look a lot like my mom and uncle,” I replied.
I didn’t know why I said anything at all. I should have just ignored him, but deep down I knew he was still my family. Growing up in foster care made me long for family, no matter how shitty they were and the relationship I had with Amos was the definition of a shitty relationship. Granted, he had only just found out who I was to him when the whole thing went down, so I was sure he was conflicted, but it was still awful for him to be a part of it.
“I thought it was odd Eric kept you two away, even if your mom wasn’t his mate, because I had always wanted a grandchild. But when I heard of your father’s...death, I was told of the secrets he was keeping. I wish he trusted me enough to tell me. I mean, I would have supported him no matter what. Don’t get me wrong, I would have been angry at first for him putting himself and you in that kind of danger, but I would have loved you and took care of you. I could have…”
His words trailed off as a wave of sadness crossed his features. It had been fifteen years, and it still moved him to the point of unwavering sadness. He must have had an incredible bond with my dad.
“I didn’t even know he was my dad until my uncle Devlin found me,” I told him. Amos’ eyes popped up to look at me. “I always thought he was my mom’s friend Eric. I loved him and he was always there helping us and spending time with us, but I never saw my parents together as a couple and I never called him ‘Dad’, not until I met him in my dreams.”
I put my glass of blood down and turned my palm up, calling for my stack of photographs Devlin gave me. When they appeared, I pushed them toward Amos to look at. The one I showed Amos when I first met him was on top. He took them from me carefully and began leafing through them.
“Wow, you really do look like your mom,” he chuckled. He studied the picture a little harder then furrowed his eyebrows. “I feel like I should know her.”
“You probably know who she is since she’s Michael Ironshot’s bonded mate.” I shrugged my shoulders and turned to pour another bag of blood into my glass.
“What? Lucia Ironshot is your mother?” Anger and betrayal crossed his features and I understood it completely.
“She is.”
“Why do I have such a hard time believing the same woman who your father loved would mate with a caster like Ironshot?”
“Well, she did. She agreed to it after watching the Council execute my father. She had just cursed me to forget everything and suppressed my growing powers and gave me to Devlin to hide away. She claims she did it to protect me, but I have moments of doubt about that.” I took a gulp from my glass and kept talking. “Dad believes she did it for me, though.”
“I would give anything to talk with Eric again,” Amos sighed.
“How does it work, exactly? The dreamscape thing. Xan told me you can communicate with your ancestors, but would it be possible to talk with anyone from your family who has passed away?”
“I wish that were the case, but no. I talk with my grandmother and father mostly, but I’ll never get to speak with Eric because he’s my son. That is, I won’t be able to talk with him until I pass into the afterlife too. I have too much left to do. Too much revenge to exact.”
“You know he wouldn’t want you to do that,” I said.
“Yeah, I know. But they took him away from me because he loved someone he shouldn’t, and together they made you. I didn’t realize how special that was until recently, but I believed they took my granddaughter away from me too, until just a few days ago. Now I’m learning it was your mother who was the one to do that. I have a whole lot of anger inside me, Emelia, and I don’t know what else to do with it, except dole out my revenge for what they did to him, and to you.”
“Amos, I don’t need you to defend me,” I shot back. “I’m the ultimate supernatural being now, remember?” My retort was sarcastic and a bit of a jab at what he helped do to me.
“You’re still vulnerable, Emelia. I’ve already told you I’m sorry for how it all happened, but I know it was destined. You are meant to be exactly who you are. I won’t apologize for my part, but I will apologize a million times, if I have to, for how it happened. It was cruel and unjust. We’re not the Council! We should have done better.” He balled his right hand into a fist as it transformed into a black dragon claw and slammed it down on the counter, making everything on top shake.
I didn’t know what to say to that, even though I agreed with him about all of it. I was vulnerable, especially since I didn’t know what I was doing most of the time. And even if I didn’t want to admit it, I was starting to feel almost complet
e, more like who I was truly meant to be since becoming part vampire. There was still something missing and I had an idea of what, or who, I needed to help me fill those holes.There were two someones who could help me with that. And finally, I agreed with his assessment on the way I was turned. It definitely was cruel and the more I talked with Amos, the more I expected him to do better. He was a good man, and a good dragon. He loved his family, his son at least, and that should have extended to me, even if he didn’t know me well at that point.
“Tell me about my dad when he was younger,” I said. I may have expected more from Amos, but he was still able to make mistakes like we all were. My father said I needed to give him the benefit of the doubt, so I decided to do just that.
Amos smiled. “Have you ever read ‘Ferdinand’?” I nodded, remembering the story of the bull who just wanted to sit and smell the flowers. “Your dad was Ferdinand when he was a kid. Big and intimidating, but as gentle as a lamb.” I laughed at his analogy, but I thought it was perfect for my dad. From what I remembered of him, it described him perfectly.
I sat down at one of the stools at the island and settled in as Amos told me story after story about my dad. It turned out he was right about something else. I did act a lot like him. I never realized it, but a lot of the same mannerisms, the way I processed things, and the ways I reacted were a lot like my dad. I loved that. I may not have his eyes or his complexion, but I at least had that.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Amos told me stories well into the early hours of the morning. After what seemed like only a short amount of time had passed, but really we’d been sitting there for a couple of hours, he looked down at his watch and yawned. He wasn’t a vampire so he needed his sleep and I was keeping him from it.
“Sorry,” I told him looking sheepish. “You should probably get to bed, huh?”
“Yeah, I think it’s about that time,” he chuckled and rose from his stool. “But don’t you dare apologize for keeping me up. I may be an old man, Emelia, but I’ll always have time to talk to you. No matter the time of day or night.”
I stood up too at his words and we both stood there awkwardly. “Goodnight, Amos,” I finally said.
“Good morning, Emelia,” he replied and dropped his empty beer bottles in the recycling bin before gripping my arm gently and exiting the kitchen.
I sat back down and finished my fourth glass of blood, feeling satisfied in more ways than one. It was nice to clear the air with Amos. I felt lighter after our conversation, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Did I trust him? Not completely. Not like my dad did. But I hoped the trust would come the more time I spent with him. I wanted to believe in Amos and have a relationship with him, whatever that would be.
I got up and put the then empty glass in the dishwasher and began my trek up the two flights of stairs to Matias’ room. Raising my hand to knock on the wood surface, I hesitated for a second. I was feeling much lighter, but I knew I needed to get my head in the game. I took a deep breath and lightly rapped on the door. Before I could take my hand away from it, the door swung open. Matias stood between the door and the frame and I raised my eyebrows, asking if he were going to let me in. He opened the door wider and when my eyes looked past him, I saw someone I didn’t expect. Xander was sitting in a chair by the window and rose when he saw me standing there, gaping at the sight of him.
“What, what’s going on?” I asked.
I walked further into the room and Matias closed the door behind us. Looking around the room, I didn’t see any sign of a fight like I expected there to be whenever the two of them were in close proximity. In fact, it looked as if they were having a cordial conversation before I interrupted. Matias sat down in the chair opposite the one Xander sat in, like he was there all along.
I was so confused and I didn’t know what to do with the new turn of events.
“What are you two doing?”
“Nothing bad, little one,” Matias answered for them. “I promise. In fact, I think it’ll be very good for our little project.”
Project? He looked very matter of fact about the idea of teaching me to feed from the source, even though we got pretty intimate during it the day before. My heart sank and I didn’t understand his change of heart. I thought he wanted me. I knew he was protecting his heart from something he felt would never happen, but he looked completely unaffected. Like it was a business transaction or something.
“Okay,” I told them. “What did you two come up with?”
Xander studied my face as I tried to hide the anguish I was feeling from showing on it. I knew I was failing spectacularly, but I smiled anyway.
“Xander has offered to be the one you feed from and I felt it would be best if he were the one to make you aroused as well. He is, after all, your bonded mate.” I gulped back the tears which threatened to spill, and nodded my head. “If you’re still hungry, you can feed from me when you are finished with him. Is that okay?”
I nodded my head again, then realized he wanted me to agree out loud. “Yeah, yes. Sounds good.”
Matias rose from his seat and he looked to Xander, indicating for him to get up too.
“Emelia, did you feed before coming to my room this morning?” he asked as Xander pulled his shirt up and over his head and dropped it on the chair that he just vacated.
My eyes were glued to Xan’s rippling chest and stomach and a different emotion began to surface.
“Yeah… I had… four glasses of blood earlier.”
I couldn’t help it. I was upset by Matias’ words because of what it meant for us, but I still wanted Xander as much as I wanted the blood that pumped through his veins.
“Perfect,” Matias told me, his voice becoming more strained.
I didn’t dare look away from Xan and his naked upper body because of fear of falling out of the lust haze I was starting to get into. I needed to stay in that frame of mind because the sooner I vamped out, the sooner I could feed and get away from the uncomfortable situation my insane hunger created.
“Xander, go ahead and sit down. Emelia, you know what to do. I’ll be over here.” His voice was even more strained, as if he wanted to be anywhere but in the room with us. With me. I hated it. I hated it so fucking much.
Xander nodded his head to Matias and sat back down, spreading his legs. Awkwardly, I climbed onto his lap, straddling him and wrapping my arms around his neck.
“You doing okay, baby?” Xan asked.
“Of course,” I told him.
Not really believing me, Xan sighed. I didn’t blame him. Not at all. Despite both of our hesitancy with the strange situation, Xan made the first real move and his hands slid up my sides from my hips to my waist. His fingers dug into my back and he pulled me forward into a kiss. It was as beautiful as every kiss I shared with Xander, but the heat behind it was fizzling. My fingertips ran across the dips and valleys of his muscles in an attempt at exciting us more, but nothing happened. We were both uneasy and no matter how much we kissed or our hands roamed, I wasn’t feeling it and neither was he.
I just couldn’t get the picture of Matias’ stoic look from his face when he gave me the news and the indifference in his voice. It haunted me to the point that it was all I could think about. I pinched my eyes tightly and tried to think about the man underneath me, but I just couldn’t
“Emi…” Xander sighed. I looked into his eyes and saw the understanding and love in them. It was hard for him watching me go through it and knowing there was nothing he could really do.
I heard the sound of Matias’ breath exhale and then his footsteps as he walked toward us. Xander looked up and over my shoulder and gave the vampire a slight nod. I didn’t understand what he had agreed to until I heard the sound of clothes rustle and then hit the floor. After that, rough hands touched my sides and wrapped around my waist.
I gasped as my hair was brushed aside and lips kissed the delicate skin that was exposed there. Xander pulled me back down into a kiss and I kissed him
back with the incredible amount of passion I had for him. Our tongues brushed against one another and our teeth crashed as my hands went into his short hair and I ground against his hardening cock.
Matias’ hands went under my shirt, touching the soft skin of my stomach and they worked their way up until he cupped both of my breasts. I moaned again and pushed my chest out toward his hands. He took the hint and moved the cups aside, revealing my nipples to his nimble fingers.
“Oh shit…” I pleaded. I needed more. I need them both to touch me, to be inside of me and make me theirs.
As those thoughts crossed my mind, my fangs descended and my hunger increased tenfold. I took my lips off of Xan’s and ran my hand through my hair as I licked my lips. I needed to feed. I needed to fuck.
“Good,” Matias whispered in my ear.
I was startled at first by his words and my feeding haze slowly melted away. I was more aware of my surroundings, which was what I needed because I didn’t want to get caught up in it and do something I would forever regret.
“You remember what you have to do?” he asked, his lips brushing the shell of my ear. I closed my eyes and my lips parted from the sensation of it. “Listen for his heartbeat…”
Matias’ hands moved away from my body and I moved closer to Xander, my face mere inches from his neck. It took a second or two, but then I heard it loud and clear. It was beautiful and promised me everything I needed.
I kissed his neck at the crease, making him slightly jump, as if he didn’t expect such gentleness from me in that moment. I kissed his neck again, then licked up to his ear and back down again. He exposed his neck to me even more, turning his head to the side. It wasn’t what I was after, but the gesture was welcomed. I kissed him once more, then opened my mouth wide and sunk my fangs into his neck.
