“Perfect sense.” George rose and began to pace once more. “I just don’t want to lead Adeline on if I’m not going to ask her to be my wife. That would be cruel.”
“You’re not leading her on. You’re getting to know her. There’s a difference. And who knows? She could very well turn out to be God’s best for you. So don’t discount the possibility.” His father paused. “On the other hand, my heart tells me that you’re torn because you are interested in someone else. Am I right about that?”
George groaned. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. To be honest, I didn’t even know until recently that I was—” He stopped short of saying “in love with Belinda.”
His father gave him a sympathetic look. “Son, the Lord knows your heart. And He alone knows the future. You can trust Him with this.”
George continued to pace. “Adeline is a wonderful young woman. She’s come such a great distance and has plans for the future. She also has a younger sister who needs a home. A good home. I could give them that. I would build her a house by the creek, and we could live out our days there together.”
“Live them out as a match made in heaven, or live them out as a match conceived on earth?” His father’s voice was gentle but firm.
George had no answer for that one. The match had been conceived on earth, no doubt about that. And conceived by someone who... George sighed as he thought about Belinda. Conceived by someone with the kindest, sweetest heart of anyone he’d ever known. Someone who still caused his heart to flip whenever she walked in the room. Someone who had taken a piece of his heart with him when she fled from the church earlier in the day.
He sighed, trying to make sense of it all. Maybe he’d better wait before declaring his intentions to Adeline. Looked like he had a little more thinking to do before then.
“I’m just saying to pray it through before deciding.” His father rose and stretched then reached for his lantern. “That’s the only way to know for sure.”
“That’s what I’m doing in the barn at one in the morning.”
“Well then, I’ll leave you to it.” He slapped George on the back. “You’re a good man, George. You come from a long line of good men. And you will do the right thing, no doubt about that. Just listen to the voice of the Lord, and don’t take a step until He’s given the word.”
“Yes sir.”
George spent the next half hour praying things through then sat on the bale of hay and waited. For what, he wasn’t sure. For the Lord to speak in an audible voice? For the jumbled thoughts in his head to cease? For his twisted heart to rest easy?
After some time, he drew in a deep breath and released it, finally ready to head back to the house. Really, there was only one sensible thing to do. Stay the course. Pray it through, day by day, minute by minute. The Lord had an answer, and it would surely come. George decided he was willing to wait, even if waiting meant causing discomfort between himself and Adeline. It would be better, as his father had said, to hurt her feelings than to marry her if she wasn’t the one God had for him.
With a heavy heart, George made his way back to the house. Once there, he tumbled into bed and fell into a fitful sleep.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Monday morning seemed to come earlier than usual. Belinda arose feeling exhausted and somewhat frustrated. She needed to get to the mercantile and look through the newspapers for someone for John Ogilvie. And quickly, before the man turned on her and demanded his money back. Her finances were strapped enough already, what with having to pay for Rebecca’s train ticket.
She’d barely made it through the doors of the store when Mayor Mueller met her there. He stammered all over himself as he explained the reason for his visit.
“I, um...well, I’ve been watching all of these marital conundrums with interest, Belinda.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, well, see, I am widowed myself, as I’m sure you are aware.”
“Of course.” Belinda had known his wife as a child, but she’d been gone for so many years now that the memories were foggy.
“I thought I’d settled into a life as an old bachelor—like Peter—but seeing all of these happy couples makes me wonder if, perhaps, there might not be another woman out there for me.”
“Oh?”
“Here’s the truth of it, Belinda,” he said with a crooked smile. “I’m itching to be hitched.”
“Yes, I have heard that phrase before, to be sure. In fact, I might just embroider it on a sampler and hang it about the door.” She swallowed the laughter and reached for the newspaper.
“Now that the opera house is going in and business is booming, I find myself looking for someone to share the joy with. I can think of no better person than a wife. Someone who could help with my many projects and who could spend time with the townspeople when I am otherwise engaged. A helpmeet, as it were.”
“Yes, the idea of having someone to share your dreams is a lovely one.” Belinda drew in a deep breath, trying to decide what to do. Finally an idea came to her. “Well, then, let’s do this together, Mayor. I’m tired of my many mismatches. Let’s go through the advertisements as a team and see if we can’t find a potential mate. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
“Surely we can find someone to fit the bill.”
They spent the next hour doing exactly that, finally settling on an older woman from Maine who longed to live in the south. Her name—Rena—made Belinda smile. She liked Rena even before meeting her and prayed the mayor would, too. Still, she was reluctant to send a letter. Not just yet, anyway. With all that had happened, she needed to pray about it first.
“I am willing to wait, Belinda,” the mayor said upon leaving. “Everything in the Lord’s time. That’s what I always say.”
“I agree completely.”
After the mayor left, she turned her sights to finding someone for John Ogilvie, just in case. The doctor hadn’t yet made any declarations about Cassie, but Belinda could sense it coming and wanted to be ready. After thumbing through several ads, she tossed the paper aside, unable to think clearly. Perhaps finding a bride for John could wait for another day. She rose and walked to the front window, gazing outside. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember what the town was like before all of the women started arriving.
After a while, a voice rang out. “Belinda, what are you doing?”
“Hmm?” She turned away from the window to look at Greta. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been standing there for over ten minutes. Who are you staring at?” Greta drew near, squinting to see past the glare. “Ah. I see.”
Belinda sighed. So, George and Adeline happened to be taking a walk together. So what? It meant nothing to her. She had other things to concern herself with, after all. She peered through the glass, trying to get a better look. What was he doing outside the barbershop in the middle of the day, anyway? Spending so much time with Adeline would eventually hurt his business, if he didn’t watch out.
Just then George looked her way, and she ducked, not wanting to be seen.
“Greta, hand me a rag, will you?” Belinda turned to her cousin, an idea settling in. She took the proffered rag and pretended to be cleaning the glass. That way no one would question why she happened to be standing at the window for so long.
Before long, she realized the window actually was dirty and took to cleaning it with a vengeance. Somehow hard work eased her anxious heart. It did not, however, prevent Adeline and George from walking directly in front of the store. When they reached the spot opposite the glass from her, Adeline gave a little wave, which Belinda returned out of politeness. She then marched across the store and into the back room, where she plopped down on one of the barrels and battled her emotions.
After a few moments, Greta joined her. “Are you all right, Belinda? I’m worried about you. So is Mama.”
“I’m sure I will be fine. I don’t know why, but I have a tightness in my throat today. “Maybe I’m coming down with something. Doc Kle
in says there have been a couple of cases of influenza in Terrell this week. Maybe I’m getting sick.”
“Mm-hmm.”
“What?” She rubbed at the back of her neck, ready to be rid of the headache that now consumed her.
“Oh, nothing.” Greta took a seat near her. “I can see that you’re not well, but I’m not convinced it has anything to do with your health.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve just been concerned about you these past few days. You are not yourself, and that worries me. Your problems are more internal than external, I believe.”
“Are you concerned about my work, because—”
“No, no.” Greta put her hand up. “It’s not that. You always manage to work your way through everything. No, it’s your heart I’m concerned about. That and the somber expression on your face this week.”
“I’m sure it will pass. I just have a lot on my mind.” To say the least.
“About George and Adeline?”
Belinda sighed. “Perhaps.” She looked at her cousin with tears in her eyes. “Oh, I don’t know, Greta. Truly, I don’t. I wanted to find a wife for George because he deserves someone very special. And now I’ve done it. I’ve found the perfect woman for him.”
“Only you’re unhappy with her.”
“Who could be unhappy with Adeline? She’s very nearly perfect in every conceivable way. I don’t blame him for taking to her. And her with him. It’s just that...”
“You wish you hadn’t done it?” Greta said tenderly. “You wish you could roll time backward and not bring Adeline to Poetry in the first place?”
Another lingering sigh slipped out. “Is that awful, Greta? I’m a terrible girl. What must the Lord think of me? I’ve somehow been playing with George’s emotions and didn’t even realize it. Till now, I mean.”
“So you do have feelings for him.”
Belinda grew quiet but slowly nodded her head. “Oh, I try not to, honestly! In the mornings when I see him go into his shop, I try not to think about his kind heart or his beautiful smile. And when he comes into the store to fetch supplies, it takes everything within me not to think about his brown eyes and the sound of his voice. When I see him at church on Sunday sitting next to Adeline, I try not to think about how I want to pull out every hair in her head.” She clamped a hand over her mouth and then pulled it away. “I cannot believe I just said that out loud.” She looked around to make sure no one else had heard, releasing a sigh when she realized her secret was safe with her cousin.
Greta erupted in laughter. “Belinda, you’re in love with George.”
“I—I am.” She shook her head. “I am in love with George. And I’m completely and utterly miserable.”
“Oh, but don’t you see, this is great news!” Greta sprang to her feet and began to pace the room. “You just have to let him know. The Lord will work out the rest, of course.”
“How do I go about that when he’s fallen for Adeline? And who am I to compare with such a beauty queen? She’s slender and pretty and... have you seen those eyes? She has the prettiest eyes of anyone I’ve ever seen. And that voice? That Boston accent sways George. I can sense it whenever she speaks.” The intensity in Belinda’s voice increased, and her throat felt tighter and tighter. “Oh, I want to stop her from speaking at all sometimes but don’t know how to go about it. Then I realize just how terrible that sounds, and I repent. But my repenting goes out the window when I see them walking arm in arm. Is that terrible? Am I terrible?”
“Well, actually—”
Belinda’s words sped up, until she was speaking at a frantic pace. “The Bible says that jealousy is a sin. I’ve honestly tried to repent for what I’m feeling. But I’m not sure these feelings will go away, and that’s what scares me most. Not that I even knew I cared about George Kaufman till now. I didn’t.” She groaned. “Oh, maybe I did, but I couldn’t admit it to myself. How can I blame myself for something I didn’t know? Or didn’t know that I knew? Does that make sense?” Belinda finally paused, and tears filled her eyes. “Greta, what if they actually get married and I go on feeling like this for weeks or even months into the future. What then?”
Greta laughed long and loud. “You are so funny, Belinda. And while I’m sure you need to repent for some of your thoughts, you cannot deny what is motivating them. You are in love. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It’s perfectly natural.”
“I am in love.” As Belinda repeated the words, the tears flowed. “But it is hopeless. I’m in love with someone I can’t have.”
“Let’s not be too hasty to say that,” Greta said. “You need some time alone with the Lord. Share your heart. He will fix any broken places. Just remember, Belinda, this is something only He can tend to, not you.”
“I—I know.” Belinda paused, thinking about her cousin’s words. “I brought my lunch from home. Would you mind if I went for a walk and ate down by the creek?”
“Of course not. Will you be all right? Do you need me to come with you? I can ask Mama.”
“No, I need to handle this on my own. It’s not just George I’m upset about. It’s Rebecca. And Myles Lott. And John Ogilvie. I’ve hurt so many people.”
“In the process of helping so many people,” Greta was quick to remind her.
“Yes, but does the good outweigh the bad? With so many broken hearts, I have to wonder.” She stood and began to pace the room. “Truly, much of this is my own doing. I get myself into so many messes and need to figure a way out of them on my own. Just me and the Lord, I mean.”
“I understand.” Greta took her hand. “But, Belinda, remember, we all get into messes. You’re not alone. Your messes are just more...well, more visible than others.”
Belinda shook her head. “I know.”
“It’s only because you do so much for so many,” Greta assured her. “Those who do little for others make few public mistakes. Those who do a lot...”
“Don’t say it.” Belinda waved her hand in Greta’s direction and then reached for her lunch pail. “I will be back in an hour, I promise. In the meantime, if any of the men come in looking for wives, tell them to look for themselves. The newspapers are on my desk.”
“I’ll do that.” Greta nodded. “Now get on out of here. Go spend some time with the Lord.”
“That’s exactly what I plan to do.” With resolve building, Belinda turned toward the door.
***
George was in the middle of trimming John Ogilvie’s mustache when he caught a glimpse of Belinda scurrying past the front window of the barbershop. With razor still in hand, he sprinted to the window. Though it took everything within him not to step outside and call her name, he restrained.
“Um, George?” John looked up from the barber’s chair. “Did you forget something?”
“Oh, no, I...” He shrugged and walked back over to John. “Sorry about that. Just needed to...
“Mm-hmm.”
“What?” He smeared lather on John’s face and started shaving, his emotions now keyed up.
“Ow!” John took his hand and pushed the razor away. “If you’re going to kill me, I think I’ll ride over to Terrell for a shave from now on.”
“Sorry.” George slowed his pace and used a lighter stroke. “My mind is elsewhere.”
“No doubt about that. But would you mind focusing before you hit my jugular vein? I’m a young man. Not quite ready to meet my Maker yet, if you don’t mind.”
“Sorry.” George paused and pulled back the razor. He stood there not saying a word, for a good minute or two, working all the while. Perhaps once John left, George could have the place to himself, to do a little business with the Lord about what he was feeling.
“So how’s it going with that pretty young thing from Boston?” John asked.
“Oh, fine, I guess.” George thought he saw a woman’s reflection in the window and headed that way for another glance outside. Unfortunately, it was just that new woman, Cassie, walking with Doc Klein toward h
is office. George prayed John wouldn’t turn his gaze this way and see them together. He’d already had an earful about Cassie Bly today and didn’t need to hear any more.
“Everything all right over there?”
George quickly returned to John’s side, wiping the shaving cream from his face. “Sorry. I have a lot on my mind this afternoon.”
“I guess you do.” Now clean-faced, John stared at his reflection in the mirror. “I have to tell you, my world was a lot less complicated without women in it.”
“Amen to that.”
“Why do we try so hard to win them, when they only bring us heartbreak?” John raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. “Not that I’m complaining. Cassie didn’t seem like my match, anyway, so it’s best that it didn’t happen.”
“Oh?” George sat in the chair next to him and gazed at him intently. “How do you know if someone is the right person for you? I mean, how do you really, really know it?”
“Can’t answer that.” John shrugged. “I can only tell you that when it’s not right, you’ll have an uneasy feeling about it. I should’ve picked up on that uneasiness from the start with Cassie, but I think I was just swept away by how pretty she was. Or is, rather. She’s a beautiful woman, no doubt about that.”
“That she is.” George glanced out of the window once more, watching as Cassie and the doctor crossed the street arm in arm. He diverted the conversation. “Well, I must say, the town is now filled with blushing brides and confused grooms.”
“To say the least.” John rose and pulled off the apron. “But if I’m being honest here, I’d have to say I still want that.”
“Want what?”
“Want a blushing bride.” John shrugged, and an embarrassed look came over him. “Is that too much to ask?”
“No.” George shook his head. “It’s not too much to ask. And I’m sure God has the perfect woman out there. Perfect for you, I mean. My father once told me that God is in the business of bringing the right woman to the right man. So I suppose sometimes it’s just a matter of waiting.”
Boxed Set: Deep in the Heart of Texas Page 40
