Her gaze slipped away from him then and she looked about the clearing. “Tarnow made this place for me,” she said quietly and Jarrett had to strain to hear her. “He let the garden grow wild around it so it would be my own private place. He put this bench out here and every month he’d send in a gardener to keep the clearing clean. I used to come out here just to think, alone. Only Kian knew where to find me.”
She looked at him then, her gaze distant and tormented. Jarrett was afraid for her. He took her hands again and like earlier that day, recognition crossed her face and she focused on his eyes. “Your eyes are so beautiful,” she said, reaching out and stroking his cheek with her gloved fingers.
He caught her hand and pressed it to his lips. “Please, Tyla, come inside and we’ll talk. I’ll stay with you until you feel sleepy. It’s so cold out here. Please come inside.”
“We’re so alike, you and me, Jarrett Murata,” she said, her voice drifting away from him. He drew her closer to him so he might hear. “Tarnow and I were very different, but I grew to love him. Do you think I’ll grow to love Kendrick the same way?”
“I don’t know. Please come inside so we can talk about this in comfort.” Kian whined at her feet. It was growing even colder as they sat in the clearing.
He felt the soft play of her thoughts in his mind. “You said you loved me. Did you mean it in the same way?”
“I don’t know if it’s the same way you loved Tarnow,” he said, “but I love you. I have since I first saw you.”
Her face clouded over and she rose to her feet, the parka falling once more to the bench. “I keep seeing him, Jarrett,” she said. “I keep seeing him lying in that coffin. I can’t remember what he looked like when he was alive.”
Jarrett stood. “That will pass with time, but you need sleep now. Please come to the castle.” He reached out and took her arm, pulling her towards him, but she yanked away.
“No, I told you already. I won’t return to the castle.”
He crossed the distance between them. “Then I have no choice. I’ll have to carry you.”
“No,” she cried. Her eyes took on their haunted look again and Jarrett halted. “Don’t make me hurt you again, Jarrett,” she said, her voice low with meaning. “I don’t want to hurt you. Please don’t make me use my power against you.” She was crouched now against the wind and Jarrett saw in her face the same animal instinct that had stopped Kalas from touching Kian. He didn’t want her to hurt him either.
He lifted his hands in supplication. “All right, Tyla, we’ll stay here until you’re ready to go, but don’t you think Tarnow would want you to return to the castle? Don’t you think he’d want you to lend your support in Adishian’s time of need?”
He saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes and she straightened a little. He took a step forward, slowly. “They need you now, Tyla, the people of Adishian need their Queen. You are the only hope left to them and Tarnow would want it this way. Tarnow would want you to be strong.”
“Tarnow is dead!” Her eyes filled with tears and she buried her face in her hands. “Tarnow is dead!”
Jarrett staggered in pain as she filled his mind with surge after surge of grief. He closed his eyes and clasped his head. It was too much, she was going to kill him if it didn’t stop. Before he knew what he was doing, he’d crossed the distance between them and folded her in his arms. Her grief tore through his mind, and then burst from her in a long sob. She shook in his arms, her body heaving with the force of her crying. He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, but gradually her sobs subsided and she leaned into his chest.
As she quieted, she became aware of how they were pressed against one another. Jarrett felt the change in her stance, the tension in her muscles. She tightened her hold on him and lifted her face. He couldn’t deny her look or his own want. He bent to kiss her, drawing her closer. She responded almost at once, parting her lips for him.
Tearing his mouth from hers, he buried his face in her hair. “I love you.”
She pulled away, placing a hand on her forehead. In the next instant, she dropped.
He caught her as she fell and lifted her into his arms, carrying her to the bench. He grabbed her hands and tried to rub warmth into them, but she didn’t respond. He called her name, but still she didn’t respond. He covered her with his parka and lifted her into his arms. Calling Kian to him, he raced back through the tangle of undergrowth toward the castle.
He didn’t think he’d make it, but suddenly the warm light from one of the windows came into view and in the doorway of the garden courtyard stood Kendrick and Kalas. Kalas pushed past the Nazarien and met Jarrett halfway to the door, taking Tyla from his arms. He hurried her upstairs.
* * *
The three men waited outside the door. Finally the physician motioned the men inside. Tyla had come around and lay propped up by pillows, her face pale and drawn in the light from the lantern. Her hair was loose and fell in damp curls about her shoulders.
“I’ve given her a sedative, so don’t stay long. She needs to get some sleep,” the physician said.
“Thank you,” said Kalas. “We’ll only be a moment, then we’ll let her rest.”
The physician nodded and left as Kalas crossed the room and took a seat on the edge of her bed.
“What were you doing out in the garden in weather like this?” he said, scolding her. “You’re lucky you aren’t taken with a fever.”
She looked at him a moment in silence, then placed her hand on his arm. “Please don’t lecture me, Kalas. I’m fine, but I’m tired. I’d like to get some sleep.”
He nodded and bent over her, kissing her on the forehead. Then he rose, moving toward the door. Kendrick looked at her a moment more and followed him. Only Jarrett remained behind, held in spot by her thoughts. When he was sure the other two had gone, he moved to her side.
“I feel so lost,” she said.
He pushed back her thick, damp hair and kissed her forehead. “It’ll pass.”
“I don’t understand this bond between us, Jarrett. I won’t pretend I do, but someday maybe I will.” She paused and took his hand. “Will you stay with me until I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.”
“I’ll stay with you as long as you wish.”
She closed her eyes and a moment later, she was asleep.
Jarrett sat beside her, wondering how he was going to save them now.
CHAPTER 10
Tyla fell ill following the episode in the garden. Jarrett kept the room warm and had her favorite foods prepared for her. He even went to her gardens and brought sprigs of winter foliage into the castle to fill vases, which he placed about the room. When she didn’t sleep, he read to her from books Tarnow had in his vast libraries, one of the few family possessions that hadn’t met the ravages of the siege, or they sat and talked of better times to be.
When she slept, he and Kian escaped from the mourning castle and took long walks in the snow. The townspeople came to recognize the two and would call out to Jarrett, wondering how Tyla was. In the evenings, Kalas and Kendrick would come to sit with her until she grew tired again. Kalas was absorbed with going over the treasury books with the Council during the days and didn’t wish to be bothered.
Kendrick accompanied Jarrett on some of his walks, but spent most of his time with Muzik in the soldier’s barracks where Muzik had been ordered to stay. Muzik’s tenure as personal guard to the royal family ended with the death of his King.
This disregard allowed Kendrick and Muzik to plan for their escape from Adishian. They poured over all of the maps until they felt they had them committed to memory. In addition, they made clandestine arrangements with Tarnow’s private cook for provisions. By the end of the second day of Tyla’s illness, everything was in readiness for their departure. They waited only for Tyla’s strength to return.
On the fourth day Tyla and Jarrett took a short walk to the cemetery. They wore parkas against the falling snow. In addition, Jarrett brought a bla
nket, which he put around Tyla once they took a seat on the bench before Tarnow’s grave. They sat close together in silence as the snow drifted down and blanketed them in a soft white sheet.
Tyla brought some fresh pine boughs from her garden and Jarrett carefully arranged them on the grave. Tarnow had always loved her gardens; they had been the pride of Kazan and even when siege had robbed the kingdom of its splendor, Tarnow had made sure Tyla’s gardens didn’t suffer.
She sat beside Jarrett now, Kian at her feet as always, and she felt small and frail in the great expanse of the cemetery. Her eyes rested on Tarnow’s grave, a mound covered with white snow and her branches of pine. It was difficult to accept that he was actually gone from her forever. The grave was simply a hole filled with dirt. He had been a proud King once and a very good man, yet now he was reduced to nothingness. Not even his name had survived untarnished.
For the first time in a great while, she thought of her parents. They were no more than Tarnow was now, returned to the clay of the earth, but in life her father had been a man to both fear and respect. She knew little of her father and that mostly legend, and she knew even less about her mother. It had mattered little to her as a child, she had never met them and Rarick had attempted to taint her emotions regarding her father as best as he might. But now, after she had lost the only person who had loved her as much as she loved him, she wondered what they’d been like.
She knew her green eyes had come from her mother and her Stravad features from her father, but no more. Was her father stern, proud – did he have a sense of humor? He was hated in Sarkisian, feared in Adishian and adored in Chernow, but why, why did each of these kingdoms view him in a different light?
Her mother was even more of a secret. People rarely spoke of her and if they did, it was only to retell the tragedy of her death, which ultimately led to her father’s death. It seemed the most important thing she had ever done was become the wife of Talar Eldralin, but Tyla knew there must be more.
Despite the conflicting feelings about him, Talar was her father. She’d never denied him, but he was also a folk hero as his father had been. It was difficult to possess any personal feelings toward a man who was a national legend, but her mother was different. Tyla didn’t know what it was like to have parents, but she longed for her mother. She felt sure she’d learn a great deal about herself if only she knew more about her mother.
As a child, she had made up an image of her mother from stories Kalas had told her. Kalas had loved Shara despite all Rarick told him. At night, when she lay alone in her room, she conjured up this image of her mother and had conversations with her in the dark. It was this imaginary mother that had kept Tyla from despair when Rarick had been most cruel or when she’d tasted the bittersweet depth of her power. She loved this woman and hungered for knowledge of the real person. Going to Temeron might be the only way she’d ever learn more than rumor.
She sighed and leaned closer against Jarrett. She missed Tarnow so dreadfully much. She’d never realized how much he’d actually meant to her or how much she had meant to him. He’d given his life for her and this realization caused her not a little discomfort and guilt. She only wished now that she might remember him as he’d appeared in life, but she could only see him, lying in his coffin, shrunken and hollow.
She shuddered and lifted her eyes to Jarrett’s face. His deep blue, Stravad eyes glimmered in the cast of light from the snow. She smiled. He did have a handsome face and his eyes were so beautiful, more beautiful even than Kendrick’s.
She took his hand in hers and pressed it. “I’m ready to go now, Jarrett.”
He knew immediately that she meant she was ready to leave Adishian, the connection between their minds left little doubt. His eyes glimmered, but he merely nodded.
She looked away again and sighed. “My time here has ended. I didn’t want to come to Adishian, I was afraid. Despite Rarick’s prosecution, Sarkisian was my home and Kalas my only family. I didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want to marry Tarnow, but the only happiness I’ve known has been in Adishian as Tarnow’s wife. Now I’m being forced out again.”
“It’ll be different in Temeron, Tyla.”
She nodded. “Yes, I have a grandfather there. I’ve never known what it’s like to have family, except Kalas, family I could call my own, but now I have a grandfather. I’m anxious for that, I’m anxious to meet him.”
“He’s a great man, Tyla. Kiameron was his father and he, himself, led Loden against Erram. He was very powerful once and his brother, your uncle, is King of Loden. You’ve got a lineage to be proud of.”
She smiled and leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. “It seems we both have a lineage to be proud of, Tomlin Trauner’s son.”
“Yet we both know so little about it.”
She lifted her head and fixed her eyes on him. “That’s why we’re kindred spirits, Jarrett, don’t you see? I’m beginning to think we were thrown together for a reason and this one seems plausible enough.”
He touched her cheek with his hand. “It’s comforting to be a kindred spirit with you, Tyla.”
Soon after they rose and turned back toward the city, walking at a leisurely pace. The snow continued to fall, but it was a light snow and pleasant, even though the air was crisp and cold.
They came to the castle more quickly than Tyla wished, she had so enjoyed their walk together. The castle was always oppressive anymore. She and Jarrett were forced to guard how they acted and spoke around one another when others were near and it seemed others were always near.
Tyla was beginning to regret her rash vow to bind herself to Kendrick, but she still couldn’t think of any way she might have escaped it. Even so, she didn’t feel she was doing anything wrong being with Jarrett. She told herself they were simply becoming good friends, nothing more. Their intimate physical contact had ended with the night in the garden, the night she’d been taken with fever, and they’d done nothing more than sit near each other since that time.
She was also beginning to wonder why she should always be bound to one man after another. Men were free to love whomever they chose. She secretly enjoyed the taste of freedom. Jarrett didn’t seem to want to absorb her into himself, rather he seemed willing to share himself, an equality she’d never experienced. She’d always taken orders from one man after another, first Rarick out of fear, then Tarnow out of love, and she wasn’t sure anymore that life had to be this way.
She felt sorry for Kendrick because he was as much a victim of circumstance as she was herself, and she might have grown to love him as she had Tarnow, if his affection didn’t seem so much like possession. She saw it in his eyes, in the way he looked at her, and she didn’t like it. She didn’t belong to him yet, she didn’t belong to anyone. Why should she feel so controlled?
This dilemma was beginning to weigh on her. She didn’t want Kendrick to get hurt, but yet she couldn’t deny that she was feeling something very strong for Jarrett, and the feeling was growing with each day. A small voice inside of her told her that she shouldn’t spend so much time with the Terrian, somewhere inside she still felt the need to obey the bond that had been placed on her, but she also couldn’t resist the draw toward Jarrett.
Her thoughts were interrupted as Kian bounded ahead of them and through the open door of the castle. Tyla watched him go and a wave of apprehension passed through her. She hesitated and Jarrett paused beside her.
They shared a look.
“Where are the guards?” she whispered, and nodded at the open door.
Jarrett’s hand fell to his waist where he’d concealed a dagger, his sword having been taken from him when Kalas arrived.
A flurry of movement issued from inside the castle and Kian let out a yelp. Tyla started forward, but Jarrett yanked her back. Kalas appeared in the doorway and stepped out. His eyes seemed hollow and a gash bisected his cheekbone.
“Kalas, what happened?” asked Tyla, tugging out of Jarrett’s hold.
Ka
las narrowed his eyes in obvious warning. “I’m sorry, Tyla,” he said, “I tried.”
Another figured stepped out of the castle entrance. Tyla felt Jarrett tense as Lex Prestar smiled at him.
Her expression hardened. “So this is it, Kalas,” she said, “Rarick has arrived?”
Kalas didn’t answer.
Tyla’s eyes were fixed on her brother as she climbed the stairs, but he wouldn’t meet her gaze. A heavy sigh left his lips as she turned away. Lifting her chin, she passed between him and Lex, stepping into the castle. She came up short and her eyes widened. The entrance hall was filled with soldiers bearing the red panther symbol.
She turned to face Lex as he stepped back into the castle. “Where is Kian?” she demanded.
“Restrained, but I’ve no doubt His Majesty will order the beast destroyed.” He gave her a pointed look. Behind him, Kalas lifted his head and met Tyla’s gaze, then dropped it again.
“Apparently the castle is overrun with beasts,” she said coldly. “Many of which are in great need of being destroyed.”
Lex gave her a thin smile, then moved next to Jarrett and shoved him forward. Jarrett stumbled, but caught himself, swinging around to face the Guard Commander. Lex held out his hand. “Give me the blade.”
Jarrett’s jaw tensed, then he reached for the dagger and passed it over, blade first. Lex closed his fingers around it and jerked it away, slipping it into his own belt. With a motion toward the stairs, he bowed toward Tyla. “Lord Rarick awaits.”
Tyla removed her parka and handed it to a frightened doorman waiting in the shadows, then smoothed her dress and turned her back on the Commander. Wending her way through the gathered soldiers, she began to climb the steps, trying to still the trembling that had begun in the very core of her body.
They were stopped outside the Council Chamber, then the great doors were thrown open and the inner chamber was revealed in white, glaring light. Tyla swallowed hard and briefly closed her eyes, drawing in all of her self-control.
The World of Samar Box Set 3 Page 16
