I loved Grace and I wasn't going to wait any longer to tell her.
Chapter Seventeen
Grace
Why did I insist that I would be able to sleep?
I glanced at the clock for the thousandth time in just a few hours.
12:30 AM.
My entire body still felt Merrick pressed against it. Every inch of my skin was still tingling from his touch. I was desperate for something. Anything.
I stared up at the dark ceiling of my room, debating on whether or not I was completely crazy or just stupid.
Stupid.
I'd just walked away from the sexiest man I'd ever known. One who was ready to give me what I wanted without needing to ask for it. And for what? Because I thought it was a risk to my job.
Who does that?
Apparently, I do. And now, I was suffering the consequences.
The truth was, I was nervous. The last time I'd been with a man, I was several weeks pregnant and he was an asshole. Merrick would be different, but damn if I couldn't just let go and do it already.
Silently cracking my window open the second I walked into my room, I had listened to Merrick move around. Of course, I didn't hear much, but I saw his shadow. Those shoulders, broad and strong. His chest, so hard and muscular. I knew he undressed to go to bed and his body was mouthwatering.
It was torture, knowing he was almost naked and so close.
Closing my eyes, I moved my hand beneath the sheets and lightly glided my fingers down my stomach. Maybe if I could find a small release, I'd be able to sleep. I didn't realize I was practically panting until I heard Merrick's voice come through my window.
"You're not allowed to touch yourself, Grace," he growled. "Not tonight."
I let out a frustrated groan, pulling my hand out of the sheets. I didn't need to ask how he knew. It was obvious I couldn't control myself. "Why not?"
"Because I want it."
I closed my eyes, arching my back off the bed and squeezing my legs together. It only made it worse.
"Is it strange that I can still feel your skin under my fingers?" he asked, roughly. "I'd be climbing through your window right now if I could."
"What would you do?" I asked, breathlessly.
"Mmmm," he rumbled. "I'd kiss you first, until you were dizzy, just like you make me feel."
I exhaled slowly, already feeling the blood rushing down my body.
"Then I'd spend a long time learning every inch of your skin. I'd touch you everywhere, taste you everywhere. Then, when you were ready, soaking wet and begging for it, I'd pin you to the bed and shove my cock inside of you. I'd make you come over and over again. All night."
I was out of my bed before he'd finished the last two words, slamming the window closed before scurrying out of my bedroom. I made it into the hallway and tiptoed to the foyer.
I wasn't going to wait any longer.
As soon as the front door clicked shut, I all but ran across the front yard, barefoot and in nothing but my boy short panties and a thin spaghetti strap shirt. I made it to Merrick's front door in a matter of seconds. Breathless and aroused.
He was waiting for me.
The door swung open, revealing Merrick in nothing but his boxer briefs, that perfect V at his hips and those powerful legs keeping him steady. Hunger overtook his face and a massive bulge tented between his legs. I swallowed thickly as I stepped inside, just inches from him.
"I can feel you without even touching you, you know that?" he whispered. "Every nerve in my body goes on alert when you're near me."
I let out a harsh breath, heat rising in my cheeks, and suddenly, the door slammed shut and he was on me. Holding my face in his hands and kissing me ravenously. I briefly worried about his leg when his hands dropped to my ass and lifted me off the ground. He didn't flinch with discomfort. If anything, he looked more relieved than pained. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my back hit the door once more.
"Christ. What are you wearing?" he sputtered as his fingers slid to the hem of my boy shorts and underneath.
The grip of his rough fingers on my bare skin forced me to bite my lip to keep from crying out. He pressed his hard stomach between my legs and took my lips in another greedy kiss. I'd been wet for hours. No doubt he could feel it, but it didn't stop me from rocking against him, searching for the right pressure.
He grunted against my lips, pressing me harder into the door to pin me with his hips. When I was steady, he slid his hands up my sides, taking my tiny shirt up with them. The cool air hit my skin and his hot fingers left a trail of goose bumps behind. My nipples ached the closer he came to them and finally, with a harsh breath, he cupped my bare breasts in his massive hands.
"Fucking perfect."
"Please, Merrick," I begged. For what? I didn't know.
Anything.
Everything.
I whimpered as his hands left my breasts to tear my shirt over my head. Both of us moaned with relief once we pressed together, skin to skin. My sensitive nipples slid against his chest, making me wild. I gripped onto his shoulders, feeling the scarring beneath my right hand. He didn't flinch anymore when I touched him. The scars didn't matter to either one of us.
"Hold onto me, baby."
I wrapped my hands around his neck and held on tight. He turned, a determined look on his face while he counted his steps. We both laughed when we bumped into a wall, but within seconds, we were in his room and he was dropping to sit on the bed with me straddling him.
All laughter died out when he pulled my hips forward, a gasp leaving my lips at the feel of his hardness pressing against me. Then his hands returned to my breasts, slowly finding their way. The anticipation of his touch made me shift forward, offering myself up to him. When his head dropped to my chest, I held my breath, crying out as his lips wrapped around my nipple.
His hands never stopped moving. He found every rib, every dip and curve. He was everywhere. I took my turn, scratching my finger nails across his back, feeling that ripple of muscle when I did.
When his hand came to a stop, directly over my heart, he leaned back. We were both panting, frantic for more.
"Can I have this?" he asked, pressing his hand against my chest and making me pause.
Happiness, pure and simple, overwhelmed me.
My heart.
The muscle in his jaw twitched and worry clouded his features. The uncertainty behind that look almost broke the very thing he was asking for.
"You already have it, Merrick."
He sighed with relief, kissed me fully, then circled his arms around my waist. Our chests were crushed together when he stood, pausing halfway to adjust his leg.
"Be careful."
"Don't worry, baby. I've got you. I can't fall with you in my arms. It's just not possible."
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't think that kind of thing really happened, but for the space of a full heart beat, everything inside of me stopped.
This couldn't be real. Nothing about this could possibly be real.
Merrick turned, staying steady on his leg, and laid me down on his bed. He shifted on top of me, adjusting his leg so he could settle between mine. He took both of my arms in his hands and firmly planted them above my head. When he was sure I wouldn't move them, he started slowly gliding his fingers back down to my ribs.
"Grace, I want you to have better. I know you deserve better, but I want you too much to let you go. It's worth the risk. Being able to love you is worth anything."
My eyes filled with moisture as I gazed up at him, seeing the sincerity on his face and wishing that he could see how happy he made me. His eyes were pointed down, as if he was looking slightly over my shoulder, but he was seeing me in his own way. I knew that now.
He brought his hand back to my heart and drew in a long breath. "If this is mine, I swear to you, I'll take care of it."
"I know, Mer."
I lifted my legs to wrap them around his hips again and he bent forward, holding his weight up w
ith his left hand next to my head. The arm was practically back to normal, only giving him problems when he overused it. I turned my head to kiss his wrist. The hand over my heart came up to my face, sliding lightly over my lips, my nose, my eyes.
"I'm going to take my time, Grace. Being this close to you, touching you this way, is worth savoring."
He started slow.
The kisses that covered my face made me feel beautiful. The kisses he seared into my neck, made me feel safe. Then his fingers drifted over me, sliding back and forth over dips I didn't think were all that interesting.
Merrick found them fascinating.
"You have the softest skin," he whispered with a grin. "And you smell like sugar."
I closed my eyes as he circled my breasts.
"These feel beautiful. They fit so flawlessly in my hands."
My eyes rolled back into my head when he bent forward to take one in his mouth. He flicked my hardened nipple with his tongue, then lifted my breast to kiss the skin underneath. The skin that is only touched by the wire of a bra.
Oh God.
It was a sensation I'd never felt before. Merrick noticed. He took his time, just like he promised and his hands followed every kiss. Every bite. He counted my ribs, pushing my hands back up above my head when they came down on instinct.
"Leave them, Grace. I'm not done."
I giggled when he started over, tickling me in the most delirious way. By the time he made it to my navel, I was a mess. All I could do was breathe.
Touch is so powerful. The anticipation is potent.
He kissed the skin above my panties, spending a full minute running his mouth back and forth from one hip to the other. I released a harsh breath when his fingers finally curled under the material and slowly peeled them down, brushing against my sensitive skin.
The rumble in his chest could be felt at my toes. This is what pure bliss feels like.
"Bare?" he gasped.
My eyes popped open, and I lifted my head to see his face hovering above me, those shoulders straining with the effort it was taking him to hold still. "Is that–"
"The sexiest thing ever? Umm, yeah," he growled.
My response flew out the window when his lips pressed against that bare skin. Screw my job. I wasn't giving this up for anything.
"Merrick ..."
He lifted up on his knees so quickly, I was afraid he was stopping. Then he tore my panties down my legs and tossed them aside. His eyes were closed and I wondered at the disappointment he must feel not being able to see what he was doing.
I was completely off base, however, because he looked more aroused then I felt. Which is saying something.
"I have to see you," he stuttered.
I was only confused for a split second. Then his hands slid up the inside of my legs, so slowly, sinking behind my knees to lift and spread them open.
I knew what he meant then. I could barely catch my breath, just thinking about it.
The cool air touching my hot flesh made me shiver, but it was quickly replaced with a full-body tremble. How could someone have so much power with just a simple touch?
I gasped when his hand cupped me, putting just the right amount of pressure exactly where I needed it. It was only a moment, then his fingers drifted up and down, back and forth. Finding every inch of flesh he couldn't see. Seeing me in his own way.
Then those gentle fingers delved into my slick flesh and my hips shot off the bed.
"You're soaked, baby."
"Aaah," I gasped.
He refused to surrender, driving me to the edge before bringing me back. He circled that tiny bundle of nerves, over and over, until I was on the verge of screaming. He relented, but it wasn't his fingers that gave me relief. If you can even call it that.
I opened my eyes, only to see his head lower slightly before his hot lips wrapped around that swollen bud. His finger slid inside of me, curling up enough to make me see stars. I closed my eyes again, too turned on to really watch, my body rippling with pleasure. His low, gruff moan made it all the more gratifying, vibrating against me as he sucked, hard.
"Christ. You even taste like sugar," he whispered against my skin before removing his finger, only to add another.
After the slow build he had instigated and the constant need for just a little more, my body wasn't turning back. It was when he lifted one of my legs to rest on his shoulder, that I felt the tightening begin. He put his mouth on me again and it was over.
My body ignited and he held me right there, taking me further into the blaze. Spurring on the sparks of pleasure until they faded into hot embers.
I couldn't move, couldn't even open my eyes.
He kissed the inside of my thighs, breathing harshly, but patiently waiting for me to come back down.
"That was beautiful," he said, resting his cheek against my thigh.
Words wouldn't come, so I just hummed a sigh in agreement. Exquisite.
He slid up my body, kissing a path up the center of my chest, then lingering at my neck. He loved it there and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't my favorite place for him to be. Well, one of my favorite places.
I brought my hands to the back of his head, curling my fingers to hold on. He found my lips and kissed me, slow yet powerful. Like the curl of a wave just before it breaks into a rage of energy.
All day, I had felt that energy. Whenever I was beside him, all of his attention was on me. Seeing me like no one else did. He had looked like a man who knew that what he wanted, was right in front of him. He was just deciding how to take it.
Now, he was taking it. And I was more than willing to give it.
"Grace," he mumbled against my lips. "I want you to know something."
"Okay."
He lifted up, taking some of his weight off my chest. I watched him swallow and lick his lips nervously, that firm jaw twitching a little before he spoke. "I'm in love with you."
My fingers constricted as happiness surged through me, bringing energy to every limb and a curl to my lips.
"I've loved you since the beginning, I think," he explained, speaking slowly and intently. "You're everything I could ever want and so much more."
I cupped his face, tracing his cheek with my thumb and feeling the scar that ran across it. He was beautiful. Exquisite in every way. I moved my thumb to trace his lips. "I love you, too, Merrick."
It was a spark. It had to be. Something in his eyes that drew my attention.
Then, he blinked, and it was gone. But his smile was devastating enough to distract me.
He kissed me hard, sliding a hand down to my thigh. My mind briefly registered the need for protection when he slowly slid his boxer briefs off, but it was quickly swiped away. We were both clean. I'd read his chart and he knew he could trust me. That's why neither one of us hesitated when he positioned himself at my center.
We moved against each other, both of us pausing at the first touch and reveling in the relief of finally being there.
He pulled his hips back a little, pressing his forehead to mine. Then, he slowly surged forward, stretching me enough that I had to hold my breath to take him. He stopped, pulling back only to pitch forward once more, a groan leaving him until he was fully seated inside of me.
We stayed right there. Unmoving. The fullness overwhelming me.
His breaths fanned my face and I already felt the build. It was impossible, but that's what Merrick did to me. He awakened everything by doing nothing.
I lifted my hips to force him deeper and that was the push he needed to let go of his control. He took me hard, deep. His hands were everywhere, then planted at the sides of my head. He pushed his hips forward, forcing me up the bed, inch by inch. I met every thrust with one of my own, driving him on. Driving us both to the edge.
"Grace."
He was close, but so was I.
I felt him swell inside of me, finding places he hadn't yet reached. "Yes."
The build was quicker. A rush of liquid heat searing my vein
s until finally ...
I shouted his name, unable to hold it back. He swallowed my cries when he crushed his lips to mine, and he kept thrusting. In and out. Drawing out the pleasure for both of us.
A final thrust and his weight fell on top of me, his arms trembling when he tried to hold himself up. I embraced him and took all of it, because it's what I wanted.
"I love you," he whispered in my ear.
I closed my eyes and felt a hot tear slide down my temple.
This ... this was bliss.
Chapter Eighteen
Merrick
I knew it wasn't a dream before I even came fully awake.
The warm, soft body pressed up against me, was real. For the last five mornings, she'd been absolutely real. And here with me.
Her parents had a lot to say about that, but it wasn't the time. Grace had stayed with me every night that week. It still wasn't enough.
She'd gotten another job in the hospital. Instead of the actual homecare nursing, she was given a coordinating position until the patients they had scheduled for the near future, were ready. It required her whole day, but she enjoyed it and the people she worked with. Plus, she came home to me every evening.
I made some phone calls when I wasn't doing my exercises or practicing Braille. The base nearby had a few civilian positions they were excited about having me try out. One of them included counseling with other wounded soldiers and getting involved with the Special Operations Warrior Foundation that had helped my family when I was injured.
I was more than happy to be a part of it. They had funded the way for my parents to travel to Germany to see me, so I was gratefully indebted to their cause. A lot of other men needed help and so did their families. I would start the next week out getting to know them and training on what would be required of me.
In just a matter of days, the struggles from the past few months went from obstacles to stepping stones. Instead of looking down, I was finally looking forward.
All the while, Grace was with me. Encouraging me to take a chance. For the first time since I lost my sight, I felt like I wasn't a burden. I knew I could do anything, even blind.
The only thing I wanted it back for, was to see Grace. To see her smile and laugh. To see the twinkle in her eyes when she teased me. To see her body arch off the bed when I made love to her.
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