by Andi Rhodes
“South Carolina.” I glance at him and notice the incredulous look in his eyes. “What?”
“You needed that much distance between us?”
“I needed that much distance between me and this town. Believe it or not, Fender, it wasn’t all about you.”
“Then what was it all about?”
I look away again and feel my shoulders bunch as I pretend to peer out at the ocean unaffected. My heart speeds up at the memories assailing me. I can smell the blood from that night, but it’s only coming from one person in my mind. The man I shot. My family.
When I say nothing in response to his question, he fills the silence.
“Oh… right.” Fender shifts closer to me and wraps his arm around my back. “I don’t know why I keep forgetting how you saved me.”
“Because you don’t want to believe I saved you.”
“Yes, I do.”
I don’t respond and Fender sighs into me before wiping a palm on his jeans. “I had just seen my family murdered, it was the most horrific night of my life. I know I did you wrong, Charlie. I know that, and I’m so fucking sorry. But what was I supposed to do? I wasn’t in the right frame of—”
“You could’ve listened to me.”
“You were one of them.”
His words burn, and I try to pull away from him, but his arm at my waist holds me in place. I turn to him with a glare. “I am one of them.”
I expect him to glare back and for his comforting touch to turn rough, but it doesn’t. He frowns at me, his gaze moving between my lips and my eyes. “Maybe I don’t want you to be.”
My glare falls and I turn my head to face the water again. I lace my fingers on my lap and tap my thumbs.
He’s said that to me once before, and I know exactly what he means by it. Leave the Black Savages. Come be with him as a Soulless Kings’ whore or some shit like that. As if that’s a possibility. As if I’d ever even want that.
“MC princess to club whore. That’s quite the downgrade.”
“You wouldn’t be a club whore. You’d be mine.”
“Ah, only your whore? Now I feel special.”
I go to stand, but Fender presses on my thigh to keep me in place. I turn to face him, and the relaxed Fender is gone. This is the new version. The hardened version.
“That isn’t what I meant.”
“Do you want to know what I’ve been doing this whole time?”
He lifts his hand from my thigh, and I pull my legs up and shift to face him. I don’t wait for him to answer before I continue.
“I’ve been a waitress, a bartender, a hotel maid, and a receptionist for a mechanic. The last job I got because I wanted a reminder of you. I’ve lived in three different towns in South Carolina and have had three different shitty one bedroom apartments. I worked, I ate, I slept. That was my life. Every single day I spent trying to get over you and trying to get over what I did for you, and I never succeeded. You may have transformed into this new person, but I’m the same girl, Fender. The same one who told you no back then. My mind hasn’t changed, and it will never change.”
Fender doesn’t try to stop me when I stand this time. I stomp back over to my bike, my hands shaking at my sides. I ball them into fists to make it not as noticeable and wait for Fender to catch up.
Then it hits me. Why am I waiting for him? I’m his prisoner, not his guest. Fuck him. I climb on my bike, but before I can start her up, Fender grips my wrist. I snap my head to look at him.
“Careful, Charlie.”
“Careful of what?”
He takes the key from the ignition and slips it into his pocket, his serious eyes never leaving me.
“The Soulless Kings don’t feel the same way I do about you. No decision has been made saying you can go home.”
“Aren’t you the president?” I sneer.
He gives a single nod. “I am, but I’m not a dictator, and I’m not the only person affected by your club’s savage ways.”
“So what then? You’re going to take me back to torture me some more? Maybe pass me around like I’m some sort of trophy?”
“No.” Fender’s expression softens, and he brushes my wind-blown hair off my shoulders before meeting my eyes again. “I’m going to take you back and show them the girl I fell in love with. As soon as they know who you are, they won’t vote to do anything to you… Then you’ll be free to go.”
I study him closely, trying to gauge if he really means it. Yesterday, he was telling me I was never leaving. That I was his.
As much as I want for that statement to be true, I can’t have it. My father died a Soulless Kings’ rival, and it’d be disrespectful to his memory for me to become one of them. Even if I didn’t care about loyalty to my family, I wouldn’t be Fender’s because he would never be mine. Not this version of him.
As I stare into his eyes, I can’t help but want the opportunity to know this version. I wonder if I could love him too.
“I’ll be free to go. Just like that?”
He gives a sad smile and nods. “Just like that.”
Chapter Fourteen
I want to give her the life of a queen so she’ll leave her life as a princess behind.
Fender
“What the fuck, man?”
Joker is leaning against the bar, a half-empty beer bottle in his hand. Margo is behind him wiping up some invisible mess in hopes of overhearing information she shouldn’t. She knows that I know what she’s doing, but I’m too tired to give a shit.
“You got something you need to get off your chest?”
“As a matter of fact…”
Joker shifts his glare from me to the others in the room. His face is hard, determined, but his scowl only deepens when he realizes he’s alone in his challenge of me. AC/DC is pumping through the speakers, brothers are being blown by Bangin’ Betties and the drugs and alcohol are freely flowing. I’d hoped the party would conceal my actions, but of course Joker would be the one to actually be paying attention.
“I can’t hear you.” I’m taunting him, practically daring him to push me further. I know what he wants to say and while it pisses me the fuck off, he’s not wrong.
“Why is that bitch in your room and not the basement?”
Tension coils my muscles, and my jaw tics. I glance at Margo and raise a finger, indicating for her to get me a drink. She turns to do my silent bidding and returns with a beer and a shot of tequila. I down the shot and slam the glass on the bar top before chugging half of the beer. When I’m satisfied that I can keep my cool, I return my attention to Joker. He’s staring at me, incredulous. He’s crossed a line and he knows it, but he’s not scared. He’s never scared.
“You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.” The words come out gritty.
“Oh no?” Joker pushes off the bar and steps toward me. “Please, set me straight.”
Before I know what’s happening, my hand is around his throat and I’ve got him bent back over the bar top, my face inches from his.
“This is the one and only warning you’re gonna get, brother. Where I keep my woman is none of your goddamn business. Got it?”
“What’s going on?”
Piston’s voice registers behind me a second before his hand lands on my shoulder. I increase the pressure of my fingers around Joker’s neck for a brief moment, and then I let go and take a step back. Joker stands and adjusts his cut, his face red. It’s not clear if it’s from rage or embarrassment at having been caught being put in his place.
“Nothin’,” I respond to Piston.
I down the rest of my beer and tip the empty bottle to Margo. She grabs me a fresh one and hands it to me.
“Didn’t look like nothin’ to me.” Piston rocks back on his heels, his hands in his pockets.
“Did you know what he was…”
Joker’s words trail off as I storm away, toward the stereo. I stab a finger at the power button and kill the music, silence blanketing the room. There’s a chorus of groan
s, and all eyes turn to me.
“I’m gonna say this one time and one time only, so fucking listen.” I take another sip of my beer, the bitter brew settling in my stomach like battery acid. “I’m the president of this club, and I will do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want.” I walk to the center of the room and spin in a circle with my arms stretched wide. “You got a problem with that, you bring it to me. But for fucks sake, show some respect when you do.”
Hushed murmurs break out, but no one speaks loud enough for me to make out the words.
“Jesus fucking Christ! If you’ve got something to say, have the balls to say it loud enough for me to hear.”
Joker takes a few steps toward me and crosses his arms over his chest. He’s a big motherfucker, and in that moment, all I can think is ‘the bigger they are, the harder they fall’.
“Since when do we keep the enemy anywhere other than the Nightmare Room?”
“I’m not the enemy.”
I whirl around at the sound of Charlie’s voice. She’s standing in the doorway between the main room and the hallway, and she looks like an avenging angel. I glance around the room and notice I’m not the only one staring at the biker beauty. When my eyes land on Joker, it’s easy to see how tense he is. He seems frozen in place, but I know better.
Joker advances on Charlie, and I want to block him, protect her, but I am also keenly aware of the fact that nobody else believes she’s innocent in all of this. Well, no one but Piston and even his belief is tenuous at best.
Apparently Piston has more faith in her than I think because he does step in front of Joker and puts his hand on his chest.
“You don’t want to do that,” he warns.
“The hell I don’t,” Joker shouts. He’s straining against Piston, and it takes everything in me to let this play out. “She’s the fucking bitch that destroyed our club.”
“Jesus, Joker, look around.” Piston’s free hand sweeps out to indicate the room. “Do we look destroyed to you?” I can’t see Joker’s reaction, but Piston relaxes a bit. “We’ve got Fender to thank for that, so I suggest you watch it before you say or do something you can’t come back from.”
“I, um…” Charlie walks around the two men and comes closer to me. The look on her face is a mixture of resignation and defiance. “Can I say something?”
“There’s nothing—”
“Let her speak,” I demand, cutting Joker off.
Charlie gives me a smile, but it’s tentative, wary. She makes a point of looking around the room and making eye contact with every brother present. Hell, she even seems to connect with the Bangin’ Betties. If she’s scared, she’s not showing it. She’s smarter than that. She knows that if she shows some respect, she’ll earn some in return.
“I know everyone thinks I had something to do with what happened four years ago.” She pauses and takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders in the process. “I can even see why you would think that, but I swear to you, I had nothing to do with it.”
“Why should we believe you?” Riker’s voice booms across the room.
“Because I’m telling you the truth.”
“Which is exactly what you would say if you were lying.”
Riker moves to stand next to me. His sheer size intimidates most men, but not Charlie. She’s a force to be reckoned with, like all of my brothers. They just don’t know it. Yet.
“Don’t believe me.” Charlie shrugs as if it’s no skin off her back. “I don’t fucking care. What I do care about is Fender. I won’t stand by and watch him be disrespected because of something I didn’t do.”
Well, shit. She’s standing up for me. While I can appreciate the gesture, I don’t need her making me look like a fucking pussy that needs his battles fought by a pint-sized pixie. Granted, she’s a badass pixie, but still.
In an effort to maintain some sort of control over the situation, I grab Charlie by the arm and drag her to my bedroom. Once there, I slam the door shut behind us.
“What the fuck was that?” I demand.
Her eyes grow round, but it isn’t more than a second before they narrow and she advances on me, shoving a pointed finger into my chest.
“That was me saving your ass… again.”
“I don’t need you to fight my fucking battles, princess.”
Charlie flinches, backing up a step as if I slapped her. The progress we made earlier seems like a lifetime ago. I meant every word I said to her. She’s mine and I want everyone to know she’s mine. But part of being mine means letting me handle anything club related.
“Try to get some sleep.” I nod toward the bed. “I’ll be back later.”
Without waiting for a response, I turn on my heel and walk out of the room, pulling the door shut behind me. Back in the main room, the shouting is deafening. I bang my fist against the wall to get everyone’s attention. All eyes turn to me, and I let the silence hang in the air for a moment before speaking.
“All voting members, church, now.” I point in the direction of the office. “Everyone else, get the fuck out.”
I don’t wait to see if anyone does as they’re told. I make my way to the office, deposit my gun in the designated box and move to the head of the long oval table. With my arms crossed over my chest and legs braced apart, I stare straight ahead and wait.
Piston is the first to enter the room, with Joker, Riker, and Greaser right behind him. They put their weapons with mine. When Joker steps up to the table, I glare at him. He stares back, but after a minute, he retraces his steps and pulls the knife out of his boot and adds it to the box. Once everyone is present, Piston calls church to order.
“Riker, I need you to fill everyone in on what happened when we went to take care of business with Bull.”
Riker stands and explains about the Black Savages being the supplier Bull was screwing us with. He goes into explicit detail about every fucking second of the job, leaving nothing out and nothing to the imagination.
“Any questions?” I ask when he’s done. When there are none, I continue. “Good. Now,” I turn to look at Piston. “Care to explain what we learned from Leal?”
Piston stands and looks around the table. When his gaze lands on Joker, he maintains eye contact and speaks as if he’s speaking directly to him.
“We now know that Leal is the new president of the Black Savages. He also said some things that led us to believe that Charlotte had no clue what was going to happen.”
Joker stands so fast his chair crashes to the floor behind him. “And you fucking believe him? Even if Leal is telling the truth, that bitch is Dyno’s—”
“That’s the last time that word leaves your mouth when you're talking about Charlie,” I growl. “We were wrong about her, end of story.”
“And you came to this conclusion all on your own?” Burly asks quietly. He’s not the type to question me, but as the club chaplain, he doesn’t shy away from the tough questions.
“He and I talked about it, and we’re in agreement.” Piston answers before I even have a chance to open my mouth. “Charlotte had nothing to do with what happened.”
“That still doesn’t change the fact that she’s one of them,” Joker insists.
“You’re right. It doesn’t.” I take a deep breath and hold it for a moment before continuing. “But as your president, as your brother, I’m asking you to trust me. Not Leal. Not Charlie. Me.”
“I don’t see how you’re giving us much of a choice.”
Joker turns to pick up his chair and sits down with a thud. He’s pouting like a little bitch baby, and I’m getting close to my limit with his shit.
“You always have a choice. I’m not holding you here. You don’t agree, you want no part of this, of me?” I tilt my head toward the door. “Don’t let it hit ya in the ass on your way out.”
When Joker makes no move to stand, I know he’s coming around. It’s hard to let go of the years of hatred, of the singular idea that you knew who the enemy was. Trust me, I kn
ow. I let everyone else’s thoughts, fears, anger, get to me and turn me against Charlie. I’ve changed since that night, and I’m not the same man I was. Hell, I barely recognize myself anymore.
But I do know this: I’m a Soulless King. Always have been and always will be. And more than anything, I want Charlie by my side. I want my family to accept her as one of us. I want to give her the life of a queen so she’ll leave her life as a princess behind.
“I don’t care if you don’t like her, but you will show respect to Charlie. As long as she’s with me, she’s to be treated like an ol’ lady. She’s not one of the Bangin’ Betties you can stick your dick in. She’s not your bitch, not your toy, not your anything.”
“We get it, prez,” Riker grumbles.
“Good. Now that we’ve cleared that up, anything else?” They all shake their heads. “We’ll have church again tomorrow night. For now, go home.”
Piston bangs the gavel, and my brothers disperse. Joker hangs behind, and when everyone else is gone, he squares his shoulders.
“What the fuck could you possibly want now?” I’m tired and all I want to do is go back to my room and crawl into bed with Charlie.
Assuming she’s even in the bed. Maybe she’s on the floor, just to spite you.
“I know I got out of line earlier, but I mean no harm.” Joker’s face falls and he no longer looks like the cocky motherfucker I know. I put him on the spot and told him he could leave. Apparently, that was enough to scare him straight. “Just lookin’ out for you, Fender.”
“I know.” I sigh because I do know. Joker is loyal as shit and he wouldn’t put up such a fight if he didn’t really believe in his reasoning. “Look, I’m beat. What’s done is done. Just don’t let it happen again. Ya got me?” I arch a brow.
“I got ya.”
“Great. See you tomorrow.”
We clasp hands and slap each other on the back, in that manly way of bikers. Once Joker is gone, I retrieve my gun from the box and head toward my room. I have no idea what kind of welcome I’m going to get, but I feel lighter than I have in four years so I don’t really care. Charlie can scream, lash out, call me every name in the book. That’s fine. Because at the end of the day, she’s here, in my room, and we’re together.
