I scooted back on the couch and pressed my legs together to try and quell the need throbbing between my thighs. A question flashed in my head and refused to be dislodged. Was he talking about me or Jackson?
“You didn’t say both was an option.” Jackson crossed the room and took the spot next to me on the sofa. He didn’t reach for me, but having him less than a foot away was a rush of relief. It also made it more difficult to ignore the strain of my nipples against fabric. If these two were going to tease each other so graphically going forward, I’d need to learn to bring my reactions under control.
“I shouldn’t have to.” Carter joined us in the living room but settled onto the floor, facing us, one knee propped up. “You’re an intelligent man; you could have made that decision on your own. You meant what you said.”
Jackson draped his arm over the back of the couch and traced lazy circles on my far shoulder with his index finger. Just then, taking the events of the entire day into consideration, it was the most comforting sensation I’d felt in ages. Some of the tightness in my back and neck faded. My racing pulse didn’t ease off, though.
“Fine.” Jackson spat the word, but it had more amusement than force behind it. “Um… Boxers or briefs?”
I laughed. “Are you asking what he prefers on someone else, or what he’s wearing?”
“Carter’s wearing boxers,” Jackson said. “I almost guarantee it. I still have those images burned pleasantly into my mind.”
He meant Carter fucking me. That did anything but help me fight my arousal. “So doesn’t it stand to reason, for either one of you, you’d prefer to see the same thing you wear?”
“Absolutely not.” Carter leaned in and rested one arm on the couch. His elbow settled against my leg. “That’s like saying you only like high-cut bikini briefs.”
I didn’t want this to be about me. Well, I did, but the desire spilling through me would only get worse if we stayed on that topic. “Fine, smart ass. Which do you like to see, then?”
“Strictly visual?” Carter asked.
“Yes,” Jackson said.
“Commando. If we’re talking pure aesthetic pleasure, few things are hotter than having a guy drop his jeans and his erection spring free, unbound. Just as hot as pushing up a woman’s skirt and finding out there’s nothing in the way.”
I couldn’t do this anymore. The need flowing through me insisted I either back-burner it now, or insist Jackson suck off Carter while I fingered myself to orgasm. “Enough.” That was harder to say than I expected. “My turn. Rock concert or MMA fight?”
Two amused faces stared back at me, but Jackson took my cue. “Rock concert. No question.”
Carter shrugged. “You’re asking a guitarist to pick music or punching people?”
“Okay, that was too easy. I want a do over.”
The back and forth continued for several more hours, until all of us were ready to drop from exhaustion. I wasn’t sure who yielded first—probably me—but eyelids drooped and yawns ran rampant as the night wore on. I smiled in relief when Jackson shifted his weight on the couch, to lie down, and then pulled me down in front of him.
“This doesn’t fix everything.” He didn’t lower his voice.
Carter raised his brows.
“I know.” I leaned back into Jackson anyway.
“But I have a feeling we’ll get there.” Jackson kissed me on the back of the neck.
The banter died from there. They both had to work tomorrow, even if I didn’t, so I let them get some sleep.
****
I woke first the next morning, feeling better than I had in almost a week, despite only having had a few hours of sleep. Jackson still lay behind me on the couch, and Carter sat on the floor, arm and head on the cushion, hand resting on my ankle.
I’d have to wake them both up soon, but something in my dreams had forced consciousness on me, and I needed to process. I extracted myself from the two bodies and made my way out to the balcony. It was the first time in ages I’d woken up in my own apartment and not felt isolated.
Everything from the last five days—I couldn’t believe it hadn’t been longer—jockeyed in my head for attention. On top of it all was how well Jackson and Carter got along. When all of the stupid arguments and second-guessing the past got shoved aside, they joked, laughed, flirted, and just clicked like I couldn’t believe.
I couldn’t give up Jackson. I still didn’t doubt that, even after our fight. But I also knew now I couldn’t walk away from Carter. Not that it mattered unless they both chose to forgive me. Wow. How selfish did that make me?
The dream I couldn’t quite grasp rushed back full-force. It had been my conversation with Ryan, the night we’d worked late. His explanation of what he had at home, overlapping some very vivid fantasies of me with Carter. And Jackson. At the same time.
I stared out past the mountains, struggling to process it all.
“What happens now?” Jackson’s question startled me.
I whirled, to see him standing in the doorway. “You’re asking my opinion?”
Carter was awake too, standing now, and stretching.
“I’d like to take it into consideration,” Jackson said.
I brushed my thumb over the stubble on his chin. “You need to shave.”
“You don’t think the stubble’s sexy?” He moved so quickly I didn’t see it, and grasped my wrist.
It was a valid question. I loved Carter’s rough whiskers burning my skin, but on Jackson, it didn’t do the same for me. “You’re sexy, so that helps. But I like your face smooth.”
Jackson jerked his head back, nodding at Carter. “What about on him?” Jackson asked.
“It works on him. Don’t you think?”
Jackson raised his eyebrows, gaze sliding over my face, searching. “Yeah, I do.”
I looked at Carter long enough to confirm he was listening. His expression was flat, as if he were keeping thoughts to himself, but I couldn’t tell what. I gave my attention back to Jackson. “Could you fall for a guy like that?”
Jackson snorted and glanced over his shoulder. “With the arrogant asshole who’s been trying to steal the woman I love ever since I met him, five days ago?”
Hearing the word love sparked in my heart. We’d both been saying it for a while, but after last night… Maybe we’d be all right. As long as this went well, that was. “With the friend you never hesitate around,” I said. “With the attractive, intelligent man, who has your back and doesn’t mind that you have his.”
A smile spread over Jackson’s face. “I could.”
The next question would cross a new line, but I’d already been doing that, so I might as well take things a step further. “Could you share him with me? Could all three of us work together, instead of two of us having to leave the third out?”
Carter’s mask slipped, and he widened his eyes. “Do I get a say in this?”
Jackson turned so he could see both of us. “I guess it depends on what you’re saying.”
Carter didn’t meet his gaze. He looked at me. “What if I don’t want to share him with you? What if I want to be the one who has a guy to temper and bolster me, and I want to keep him all to myself?”
The question stung. It dug up an insecurity I hadn’t faced yet. I knew losing Carter was a possibility, but my ego hadn’t let me acknowledge just how likely it was. Still, I’d started us down this path. “Then that’s what you want. I can’t force you to change your mind.” But I could hope and pray he would. My heart ground to a stop when Carter looked away, jaw tight.
Chapter Seventeen
Carter finally looked at me again, and my pulse kicked-started again, double-time. His expression softened, and he turned his attention to Jackson. In a few short strides, he joined us on the balcony and wrapped an arm around Jackson’s waist. “You didn’t answer the lady’s question. If I tell you I’m falling for you, do I have to share?”
Jackson turned away from me and draped his arms around Carter�
��s neck. Elders, I liked the way that looked. Jackson scrubbed his thumb across Carter’s cheek. “I’m not as forgiving about the shaving thing as she is. I’ve got delicate skin.”
“You’re outvoted. Besides, maybe you just haven’t tried it on the right guy yet.” Carter crushed his mouth to Jackson’s and pressed him against the doorframe. Twin groans teased me, and my senses flared to life. I couldn’t drag my gaze away from the sight. Desire flowed through me. I hoped the neighbors were enjoying the show too.
They broke apart, and one of them gasped. Both, maybe. I struggled to find my voice, more desperate than ever to know if they were okay with what I hinted at.
Jackson dropped one arm from Carter’s neck, but held on with the other. He reached for my hand, intertwined his fingers with mine, and turned his head enough to look me in the eye. “Do you know what you’re actually asking? Have you thought this through?”
I hadn’t actually sat down and plotted details, but my own okay-ness with the situation told me I’d been mulling it over in the back of my head since Ryan told me about his relationship. “I know what I’m asking.”
Carter scooted closer to Jackson. “I refuse to be a casual use-me-at-night-and-toss-me-out-the-next-morning kind of thing. At least when it comes to you, Zoe. And to Jackson. I want all in. I want to be your now, not just your past. Both of you.”
I wanted that too. So much, it ached in my chest and lingered in my fingertips and leased space in my head. I stopped myself from saying so. Jackson needed to chime in first.
“I’d be pissed if you wanted it any other way,” Jackson said.
“I don’t want you to do it for me. Either of you. I want it to be because you feel something for each other,” I said. Why was I objecting to my own idea? Maybe I couldn’t believe it was actually working. I was terrified one of them would decide this was a bad idea.
“That’s ridiculous.” Carter’s tone was kind. “If we weren’t doing it a little for you, we’d go back to the idea where I walk out with him and leave you behind.”
“No, we don’t.” Jackson pulled away from him with a teasing huff. “If that were the case, you’d leave alone. Pixie and I are a package deal. Do you come with the package?”
Carter laughed, and heat flooded my cheeks. I couldn’t hold back my snicker either, despite the sentiment in the words. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“Yes, you can.” Jackson squeezed my hand. “You also believe I meant it exactly the way it sounded.”
Carter shook his head. “I’m going to waste the last of my restraint by not responding to that the way I could.” He rested his free hand at the base of my neck. “Which means, I can stop exercising self-control, and do this.”
He brushed his lips over mine, a touch so feather-light it almost wasn’t there. When he deepened the kiss, the rest of my doubt evaporated. I didn’t think Carter’s touch had ever been so tender. It wasn’t the same as it had been the other night. Hunger still hid behind the gesture, sneaking in on his tongue when it danced in my mouth. Echoing in his groan. But this wasn’t a frantic, just-for-one-night grasp. His scent filled my head, and he dug his fingers into my skin. This was a complement to the security I felt with Jackson. The promise that whatever happened today, tomorrow and every day after built on it.
Carter didn’t so much break the kiss, as slide his mouth along my jaw and up to my ear, before pressing his forehead to mine. “I won’t lose you again, Zoe. And I won’t give up Jackson, either.” His voice was low.
He jerked away suddenly, and I realized it was because Jackson was pushing him back into the apartment. They kissed again, a tangle of limbs and gropes, as Carter walked backwards, letting himself be guided. Even though I’d known from the start of my relationships with them that they liked men as much as women, I’d never seen either of them act on it. Which made sense, given the whole we-were-dating thing.
Watching them together, synchronous, grasping at each other, I understood exactly why Jackson enjoyed seeing me with Carter. Holy hell, that was hot.
Jackson pushed Carter’s shoulders, and Carter collapsed back on the couch. Jackson dropped to his knees and traced the bulge in Carter’s jeans. Carter moaned and slid lower on the couch. Jackson made quick work of the button and zipper in his way, and worked Carter’s cock free.
A new level of arousal coursed through me. I couldn’t pull my gaze away. Didn’t want to. As I watched, I moved my hand to my breast and kneaded the flesh through my T-shirt.
Carter leaned his head back and closed his eyes when Jackson flicked his tongue over Carter’s swollen, purple head, and licked away a drop of precum. Jackson took Carter in his mouth, hand gripping Carter’s thick shaft.
Need throbbed between my thighs, and I pinched my nipple, engrossed in the show in front of me. Carter tangled his fingers in Jackson’s hair, setting the pace, and a whimper tore from my throat.
Carter turned toward me, and his eyes opened halfway. He smirked, before his attention was snatched from me again. His hips thrust against Jackson’s face, and his breathing became a series of pants. He pushed Jackson back, his voice heavy when he spoke. “God, you’re amazing. But not like this. Not this morning, anyway. We have time.” Carter looked between us. He stood, pulled Jackson to his feet, and kissed him again, before turning to me.
“Bedroom. Now,” he barked.
I swallowed at the command and at the slickness I felt between my legs with each step I took to obey him. I paused in the doorway, unsure where to go next. Jackson stepped in front of me. Carter placed his hands on my hips, and in one swift movement pulled my top over my head and tossed it aside. Cool air caressed my scorched skin, drawing my already hard nipples into sharp nubs.
Carter’s chest met my bare skin, his cock pressing against my back. He cupped my breasts and massaged, the gentle gesture becoming hard and insistent within a few seconds. I leaned my head back against his shoulder, losing myself in the sensation and diving in deeper when he scraped his teeth along my neck.
Fingers brushed my stomach. Jackson’s, I managed to register. He undid my jeans and pushed them to floor with my panties, leaving me exposed, wet, and eager, between two mostly-dressed men.
Jackson pressed against me, trapping me. He pulled my head forward again and kissed me, tongue sliding into my mouth. The same tongue that had licked Carter, the same lips that had been wrapped around Carter’s dick just moments earlier.
Apparently I could be more turned on.
I reached for Jackson, caressed his hard-on through denim, and enjoyed the way he jerked against my touch.
Carter continued his ministrations on my nipples, cock grinding against my ass. Jackson slid his fingers between my legs and parted my wet folds, still holding me captive in a kiss.
I gasped into his mouth and bucked against his hand when he brushed my clit. The sensitive nub had swollen to the point where his first touch almost made me climax. I didn’t know which sensation to focus on, so I sank into all of them, letting the multiple touches wash over me. Climax surged quickly. “Jackson, you’re going to make me come.”
And like that, every touch stopped. Gone in an instant. Vanished from both the front and behind. I forced my attention back to Jackson, desire still pulsing hard and hot in my veins. He glanced over my shoulder, and then met my gaze and shrugged, a smile playing on his face.
Chapter Eighteen
Carter spun me to face him. He pressed his entire frame against mine. The fabric of his T-shirt and jeans against my hyper-sensitive skin sent desire—and traces of disappointment for the interrupted moment—crashing over me. He stepped into me, forcing me to retreat until my legs collided with the bed.
“Climb in the center.” His gaze locked on mine. “And lie on your back.”
“And you’ll fuck me? Drive your thick cock inside me and finally let me come?” The language was only partly for Jackson’s benefit. I was so turned on, an entire string of dirty words was queuing to escape my lips.
&
nbsp; “God, I love how filthy you talk.” Carter scraped his palm up my chest and squeezed my breast hard enough to send a jolt of pain accompanied by need shooting straight to my sex. “But no. Middle of the bed.”
I crawled on my hands and knees to the center of the mattress, making a show of keeping my ass in the air for a couple extra seconds before rolling onto my back. Calloused palms grabbed my wrists and pinned my arms over my head, erasing what would have been a seductive lip bite and replacing it with a gasp. Carter knelt above me. Holding me in place. “Don’t focus on me,” he said.
I turned my attention to the foot of the bed. Jackson stood there, stripping down to nothing, exposing his lean, wiry frame.
“Fuck, he’s sexy.” Carter growled.
Jackson’s gaze trailed over my body, leaving whispers of fire in its wake but not sating me. I didn’t know which part to play. The submissive girl Carter demanded, or the equal partner who bantered with Jackson. Though Carter didn’t seem to have any problems with what I’d done so far, and I could tell from the lust in Jackson’s eyes he was enjoying the combination as well.
I squirmed against Carter’s grip as the seconds stretched on, not trying to get away so much as needing to be touched. Carter brushed the outside of my ear with his lips. “What happened to the dirty talk?” His voice was low and gravelly.
I licked my lips and turned a seductive smile on Jackson. “If you’d wanted me tied down while you fucked me, you could have asked sooner.”
Jackson knelt between my legs. “Some things take experimentation.”
“So, helpless little me, squirming because my pussy is wet. That makes you hard?” I teased.
Jackson pushed my thighs apart, and the head of his cock hovered close enough to my skin I felt the heat. “Helpless is one thing you’re not, Pixie. But yeah, this is pretty hot.”
Roll Against Regret (3d20) Page 8
