As matters stood now, with Kirstie and Ben living with her part of the time in the cottage and Ethan just across the way, she had the best of both worlds, or had she?
They were growing up fast. One day they would leave the two nests that their parents had provided for them and what of Ethan and her then? Maybe one day he would turn to Phoebe Howard, while she vegetated back in France.
It was New Year’s Day and in the middle of the morning Francine saw the car pull up on the drive across the way announcing that Ethan’s parents had arrived for what had always been a regular family get-together. After checking that the food she was preparing for lunch was cooking according to plan, she went across to greet them.
Jean Lomax was her usual delightful self without turning the meeting into a farce by wishing her a happy new year. Her mother-in-law would have grave doubts about the possibility of that for any of them, Francine considered.
Her down-to-earth husband’s only comment was to the effect that he was expecting a cream tea. That he hadn’t driven all the way from Bournemouth for something and nothing.
‘Yes, we are having a cream tea, Grandpère,’ Francine told him mildly, relieved that his mind was on food instead of her sins as he saw them, ‘but first we are having lunch, which is going to be chicken casserole, and to tempt Grandmère’s northern palate, her favourite steamed suet pudding for dessert.’
‘Sounds good,’ he admitted. ‘The right thing for a cold day.’
Ethan had just come in from checking that his father had enough petrol in the tank to get them home as Lawrence had been known to overlook such essentials on occasion, and he’d picked up the gist of the conversation.
He gave a half-smile as his glance met Francine’s. The thought was there that if it hadn’t been for the fact that the food was cooking across the way in Thimble Cottage instead of in their kitchen, he could almost believe that nothing had changed.
That it was another New Year’s Day, another happy family gathering, but his frail-looking, yet never more beautiful French wife must be acutely aware that it was far from that. Unbelievably they were on the point of divorcing, and worse even than that, if anything could be, there were two faces missing and always would be because of a tragic mistake on someone else’s part.
Kirstie and Ben appeared at that moment and created a diversion, having seen the car go past while they were sledging, and Francine asked them to lay the table once they’d got cleaned up while she went to check on the food.
As she got up to go Ethan said, ‘I’ll come across with you and help carry it when it’s ready.’
‘Are you sure?’ she questioned.
‘Of course I’m sure. What’s the problem?’
‘There isn’t one. I just thought that—’
They were in the hall. She had her hand on the doorhandle, and turning she said in a low voice, ‘I thought it might spoil your day, that’s all.’
‘It would have been more spoilt if you’d been in France,’ he said levelly. ‘At least in the cottage you’re about as near as you can be without being where you really belong. But what about your day, Francine? You’re with the children, which was what you wanted, but your parents aren’t here and the pain of that must be beyond all telling.’
‘It is,’ she said still in the same quiet tone, ‘but it is something I can’t do anything about. I have to live with it.’ And in that moment of truth the voice of reason spoke in the far reaches of her mind.
Yes, you do, it said, but you don’t have to live with a failed marriage. You can do something about that, so why don’t you climb down off your high horse and tell Ethan that you still love him? Or is it perhaps that you don’t, because he made you choose between here and there?
She opened the door quickly and with him beside her crossed over the road.
As she was putting her key in the lock he scooped up a handful of untouched snow off the window sill and, cupping it in his hands, quickly made a snowball.
‘Catch!’ he cried, but she didn’t turn fast enough and it landed on her shoulder.
All her hurts and worries were forgotten for a moment as she retaliated laughingly, then he threw another and in minutes they were having the snowball fight of their lives until, breathless, she pushed wide the door and ran inside to escape.
He followed and as they stood panting in the hallway like a couple of kids he said, ‘If Kirstie and Ben have seen us out there, they will think we are out of our minds.’
‘Mmm, but it was fun, wasn’t it?’ she replied, and as they observed each other it was there, out of the blue, the desire that could bring them into each other’s arms in seconds. But the oven in the kitchen had other ideas about that and Francine cried, ‘the food, Ethan, we came to check the food and the smell coming from out of there says that it needs to be removed from the heat without delay!’
He followed her into the kitchen and as she bent to take the casserole out of the oven he was close behind, so close he could have pressed his lips against the smooth skin at the back of her neck, but he knew that having just behaved as if they hadn’t a care in the world it didn’t give him the right to touch her, if only fleetingly. Francine was still his wife, but in name only. The days were gone when after something like the playfight they had just had they would have gone upstairs, showered together, then made love.
Unaware of the direction that his thoughts were taking, she was checking that the food hadn’t dried up. That the casserole was still moist and succulent and that the water in the steamer was still bubbling beneath the suet pudding.
She was already in trouble with her father-in-law and if lunch wasn’t up to scratch she would plummet even lower in his esteem. But all was well and as Ethan quirked an enquiring eyebrow in her direction she said, ‘It’s fine, so let’s go and feed your parents and the two young sledge fanatics.’
While she was covering the dishes with foil he’d been looking around the cottage that was going to be her temporary home and she asked warily, ‘So what do you think, Ethan?’
‘Seems OK,’ was the less than enthusiastic reply and they carried the food across in silence, as if the fun and laughter they’d just shared had never happened.
Ethan’s parents left in the early evening after partaking of the cream tea that Lawrence had demanded, and as the car disappeared from sight Francine gave a sigh of relief, and Ethan heard it.
‘Surely it wasn’t that bad?’ he questioned. ‘You stayed longer than I expected.’
‘It wasn’t,’ she assured him, ‘but I think your father let me off lightly compared to last time.’
‘His bark is worse than his bite, you know that. Don’t take any notice. He’s been discovering that what is happening is difficult to cope with, and who is to say that he isn’t the only one.’
He was presenting an opportunity for them to talk about it, but she didn’t take him up on it. Instead she told him, ‘I’ve got an early flight in the morning and will see you some time on Monday. The new school term doesn’t start until Wednesday so there’s no panic for a couple of days.’
Early flight or not, Francine didn’t sleep as well that second night in Thimble Cottage and when she got up to make a drink in the early hours she saw that the light was on in the master bedroom across the way.
So that made two of them, she thought and felt that the sooner she renewed her acquaintance with the French house the better. It might seem hollow and empty but that could be her fault. She hadn’t done a thing to it since the day it had become hers, so maybe it was time she did. The task would help to occupy her mind with other things.
It had been an eventful Christmas and New Year, she thought as she huddled back beneath the bed covers, but apart from renting Thimble Cottage to please Kirstie and Ben, nothing else had changed in their lives. Ethan was still chained to the practice and showing no signs of throwing off the bonds that bound him.
He’d called round to see the Balfours over the holiday to tell Barbara about a practice manager who
was starting in the first week of the new year and as always she’d been gratified to be included in what was happening at The Tides Practice.
Ethan always came back smiling when he’d been to the house on the headland because he’d made Barbara happy, and Francine didn’t begrudge her that, but she sometimes felt that he mightn’t feel so bound to the woman if he didn’t see so much of her.
Barbara Balfour might be a role model in caring for the sick, but she fell far short when it came to family life, and Francine didn’t want Ethan to fall into the same pattern because of his dedication to the practice. There had been an incident when he’d almost missed Ben’s birthday treat, and that wasn’t the only time he’d put work commitments above family ones. On that occasion, before they’d split up, she’d got tickets for the four of them for a show in town that Ben and Kirstie were eager to see, and was to be a birthday surprise for him. But at the last moment the quartet had become a trio because Ethan had gone out on a house call due to the transfer system to an out of hours emergency doctor not functioning.
It had been in a remote area out in the countryside and by the time he’d joined them the show had been almost over.
The birthday boy hadn’t been concerned but she’d been upset and when she’d remonstrated with him he’d said, ‘I’m sorry, Francine. There’d been a breakdown in the emergency arrangements and I couldn’t ignore the call.’
‘Correct me if I’m wrong,’ she’d said angrily, ‘but I seem to remember that there is another doctor in the practice besides you?’
She’d been referring to a young registrar who’d been working there at the time for experience in general practice.
‘Yes, there is,’ he’d agreed, ‘but the elderly fellow I went out to was my patient and he’s a cantankerous old guy at the best of times.’
‘And was it serious?’
He’d sighed. ‘No, not really. He had indigestion and was convinced it was his heart, but it just might have been and he was my responsibility because the emergency connection wasn’t working.’
‘I still think you could have asked our registrar friend. After all, it is Ben’s birthday.’
‘Yes, I know,’ he’d agreed, and had pointed out that she appeared to be the only one upset by his absence and that it was his job that he’d been doing, caring for the sick.
Though his love for the three of them had been as strong as ever, she’d still had the feeling of ‘them or us’ and that had been coming from someone in the same profession.
There’d been the stillness of a community not yet up and about in Bluebell Cove as she’d driven through the village the next morning in the rented car that she’d been using, but it hadn’t been surprising as it had been barely five a.m.
And now she was back where the other half of her heart belonged. Back in the quiet Paris house and not so sure that making it look more lived in was going to give her the pleasure she’d hoped for because she would have no one to share it with.
As the light began to fade in the winter afternoon she went into the city to shop for fresh food, and while she was there dined in a small restaurant that she was fond of to save having to cook when she got back.
The phone was ringing as she opened the door on her return and when she picked it up Kirstie’s voice was there, asking if she was all right.
‘Yes, of course, ma cherie,’ she said quickly. ‘The flight was on time and here I am. What is Ben doing?’
‘He’s here.’ And her son’s deeper tones replaced those of her daughter.
‘You OK, Maman?’ he asked awkwardly, and Francine thought it was a shame that the two of them should have this anxiety on her behalf.
‘Yes, I’m fine, Ben.’ she replied breezily. ‘How about you?’
‘We’re all right except that it’s been raining and all the snow has disappeared. So Dad took us to the cinema this afternoon and tonight we’re going to a disco in the community centre.’
‘What, your father too?’ she exclaimed laughingly.
‘No, Dad’s dropping us off and picking us up afterwards.’
‘Where is he now, Ben?’
‘Here waiting to speak to you. Bye, Mum.’
‘You arrived safely, it would seem,’ Ethan said levelly.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she told him, keeping up the charade she’d presented for the children.
‘So everything was all right at the house when you arrived?’
‘Yes. I’ve just been into the city for supplies and had a meal while I was there, and am intending having an early night as I haven’t been sleeping much lately.’
‘Make sure that everywhere is securely locked when you go to bed,’ he cautioned, while thinking that she wasn’t the only one having restless nights.
‘Yes, I’ll do that,’ she said mildly, and followed it up with, ‘I’ve had to get used to remembering those kinds of things since I came here, Ethan.’
‘Mmm, no doubt,’ he agreed, ‘and now I’m going to have to go as I’m driving Kirstie and Ben to the disco that they told you about. Then I’m joining Leo in the pub for a couple of hours, and before you ask, I will be walking the children home from the disco. If you remember, Bluebell Cove can be as beautiful on a cold winter night as on a warm summer one. There’s frost shining like diamonds on all the trees and a full moon.’
‘Yes. I’m sure it’s lovely,’ she agreed, ‘but the moon does shine over here, you know, and it can be frosty.’ On that reminder she wished him goodbye and went to bed wondering if she would ever stop loving him enough to find happiness in the different way of life they were both contemplating.
After she’d hung up Ethan sat staring into space. After months of separation they’d been together for just one week and now she’d disappeared again, back to France, and instead of returning to him when the weekend was over she would be going to Thimble Cottage, snugly situated only yards away from what was her real home.
The children were waiting for him to drive them to the disco, hovering in the hall dressed to kill, and he held back a smile at the sight of Ben’s hair covered in gel standing up in glossy spikes above his face.
He thought thankfully that his children were fortunate that they could walk away from what was happening in their parents’ lives by going to things like the disco, meeting up with their friends, and would very soon be returning to school.
They weren’t living on a tightrope like he was. Loving Francine and yet hating her for what she’d done to him, though, in honesty, could he blame her? Maybe his devotion to the practice was over the top, and it would be better if he wasn’t so keen to carry the banner for Barbara’s reputation all the time instead of just being himself.
He remembered discussing his failing marriage with Lucas one day and telling the man who was his closest friend how he just could not turn his back on the practice, that he owed it to Barbara to stand firm, and Lucas, who called a spade a spade, had said, ‘Are you sure that it isn’t because you think no one could do the job as well as you that you won’t agree to what Francine is asking of you?’
‘No! Of course not!’ he’d exclaimed. ‘When I make a promise I keep it, and that is what it’s all about.’
At that time he’d been in no mood to dwell on what Lucas had said. The fact remained that Francine had left him and taken the children with her, and he’d been appalled that she could do such a thing.
But now she had come back into his life and though it was only for the children’s sake—he had no illusions about that—it was giving him food for thought, making him feel that somewhere there had to be a solution to the mess they’d made of everything.
‘Dad, how long are you going to be?’ Ben was asking as he surfaced from his thoughts. ‘We’ve been ready for ages.’
He smiled at them both. ‘Sorry, Ben. The hairstyle rendered me speechless when I saw it. Come on, let’s go. Have a lovely time, both of you. Your mother will be thinking about you dancing away in the community centre and so will I. I’ll pick you up at
eleven o’clock on the dot.’
CHAPTER FOUR
SPRING had come to Bluebell Cove and the bluebells that the village was named after were already gracing the borders of the hedgerows and carpeting the woods in bright blue perfection.
Francine was still living at Thimble Cottage and flying to Paris each weekend, leaving the children with Ethan, and he was holding the surgery together during Leo’s frequent visits to Manchester to be with his sick mother.
She saw Ethan coming home quite late one Friday night and went across to ask if everything was all right at the practice. ‘It’s Leo,’ he said. ‘The guy has a lot on his mind. He has to keep going to Manchester, his mother is very sick. I did tell him when he first came not to worry if he had to be absent because of her ill health, that charity begins at home, but I can’t keep on like this. I’m going to have to get some extra help.
‘We’re at full strength with three practice nurses now that Jenna is back on the job part time, but it’s doctors we’re short of. It was handy when Lucas was around as he helped out, but now that he’s gone back to his consultant role at Hunter’s Hill Hospital he’s not available.’
‘Why don’t I come back part-time?’ she suggested. ‘The days are long once the children have gone to school, and during holidays I’m sure we can arrange some care for them at home with friends and so on.’
He was observing her thoughtfully. ‘Are you sure about that? You moved into rented accommodation to get away from me and now you’re suggesting an arrangement that would bring us closer together again.’
‘Yes. I am sure. Do you want me mornings or afternoons?’
‘Mornings are busiest.’
‘Mornings it shall be, then. Is Leo away at the moment?’
‘Yes, it could be for a while, and we’re still short of another member of staff, though we do have a temporary district nurse. Phoebe’s maternity leave won’t be up until next New Year.’
‘Where is she living? I haven’t seen her anywhere around in the village since you danced with her on Christmas Eve.’
Christmas in Bluebell Cove Page 5
