Yet she seemed happy enough in the French restaurant out along the coast road where he’d booked the meal. The food was excellent and he hoped it would go a little way towards her not having been home, as he was having to accept that Paris was now where she felt her home to be, and it took some swallowing.
But at least tonight they were together as a family again, he thought, and happy or sad, tearful or joyful, Francine was the most beautiful woman in the place with the dark chestnut of her hair falling in a shining swathe on her shoulders and those beautiful green eyes meeting his in a glance that was giving nothing away. Did she remember that night in Paris when he’d shared her room, he wondered, and they’d made love like there was no tomorrow?
He wasn’t to know that she had every cause to remember it, remember it well. She was carrying his child, the child they’d created that night.
There were two more weeks to go of the summer break from school and the two younger members of the Lomax family were spending every moment on the beach or in the countryside while their parents were involved at the surgery.
Francine was still enjoying helping out in the mornings, but was hoping that Leo would soon be back as once Ethan knew about the baby she wasn’t sure what would happen. At three months pregnant she was showing no signs of what lay ahead, but that was going to change in the near future.
In a few weeks time he would know beyond doubt they were going to have another child, if she managed to keep the fact to herself that long, and should have no difficulty in recollecting the occasion that had brought it about.
She’d had a weak moment one evening when Jenna and Lucas had called to see Ethan and she’d been there dropping off the laundry that she’d done for him. The newlyweds had announced joyfully that they were expecting their first child and when they’d gone she’d weakened and wanted to tell him that he was going to be a father again.
But he’d forestalled her by asking if she’d heard anything recently from her solicitor, and with the divorce they were involved in brought sharply back into focus it had proved to be a deterrent on his part, just as that time on the beach when she’d pulled the plug on a special moment.
The long light days of summer came and went with them eating together in the evenings and then Ethan leaving the three of them in Thimble Cottage to go back to his empty house, while at weekends Francine persisted in going back across the Channel to her own empty house.
It was a crazy set-up, Ethan considered as he took a solitary stroll into the countryside on one occasion after leaving the three of them doing their own thing back at the cottage. Yet Francine had met him more than halfway by finding somewhere to rent close by for the children’s sake, and at least they were behaving in a civilised manner towards each other.
Whether she was happy about the situation or not, his beautiful French wife had lost the frailty that had been there when she’d arrived so unexpectedly on Christmas Eve, and seemed to have thrown off the lethargy that he’d been concerned about. As the weeks went by she was positively blooming in the clear air of Bluebell Cove.
Francine was a great help in the surgery. Even elderly Lucy, who’d been dubious about her returning to the practice under the present circumstances, had fallen under her spell, and the women patients were making good use of the presence of someone of their own sex to voice their concerns to.
Charlotte Templeton, plump, good-natured, and doing an excellent job as headmistress of the village school, was one of those who’d made an appointment to see Francine about an infection of one of her nipples, and had been expecting to be told that a sore that wouldn’t heal, and itching and burning in the area was eczema.
When Francine had explained that she was going to arrange for a biopsy to be done as it could be something cancerous the teacher, who never flapped on the job, had gone completely to pieces.
‘There is a possibility that it could be Paget’s disease of the nipple, a form of breast cancer that can easily be mistaken for eczema,’ she’d told her. ‘It starts in the milk ducts and if not treated quickly can spread further into the breast.’
‘Oh, no!’ Charlotte had cried frantically. ‘I’m no good with illness. Never have been.’ With a wail of fear she added, ‘I don’t want to lose my breast.’
‘No one is saying that you will have to. This is just the first step,’ Francine had told her consolingly. ‘I will arrange an appointment for a biopsy to be taken at the hospital and from that we will get some answers.’ The distressed woman nodded tearfully and she said, ‘wipe away your tears, Charlotte. We cannot have those young ones who love their teacher so much seeing you weeping. The biopsy will be soon, and remember I may be mistaken, that it is eczema, but better to be sure, yes?’
‘Yes, of course,’ had been the reply, and with it had come an explanation for the distress. ‘My mother died from breast cancer.’
‘Not Paget’s disease?’
‘No. I hadn’t heard of it until today, but it was breast cancer.’
‘Don’t let us be crossing our bridges too soon,’ Francine had said gently. ‘Let us see what the biopsy has to tell us.’
She’d told Ethan about the head teacher’s problem that evening and he’d said, ‘So is it likely to be eczema?’
‘No, it is not,’ she told him. ‘I have seen it before. It is Paget’s disease, how serious I do not know. I have told the hospital the test is urgent.’
‘Hmm, bad news, then?’
‘Yes, but we must hope it is not too bad. And how did your day go?’
This was like old times he thought, discussing what the day had brought for them at the practice, but not quite. ‘Old times’ had included peace and contentment in their lives and there was not much of that around at present.
‘I had the results back on a fasting test that I requested for diabetes,’ he told her. ‘And they’ve come back positive. So Jack at the butcher’s is going to have to keep an eye on his fats and sugars, which he won’t like.’
‘He wasn’t keen on having to put his bacon and eggs on hold until he’d been to have blood taken first thing on an empty stomach, and the thought of having no sugar in his tea if it came back positive was taking on the mantle of a major catastrophe. I had to remind him that there are far worse things that some folk have to cope with than that.’
They were in the kitchen, tidying away after the evening meal as they’d been discussing the problems of their patients, and when they’d finished Ethan said, ‘I’m meeting Jenna and Lucas in the pub for a chat later. Do you want to come along? Though I must warn you the main topic of conversation these days is childbirth and babies.’
‘In that case, I think I’ll give it a miss,’ she said lightly. ‘I might have a stroll along the tops or go down to the beach. It’s too nice a night to be inside.’
‘Fine,’ he said levelly, taking on board the obvious fact that Francine was happy to tolerate his presence when Kirstie and Ben were around, or at the surgery where it was strictly impersonal, but when she had a choice she preferred him not to be around.
Where was it all going to end? he wondered. Not very happily from the looks of it, and how long was it going to be before some guy was attracted to a stunning French doctor who would soon be free from the shackles of her marriage, as that had to be the way she saw it?
How could she have endured talking about babies when she still hadn’t told Ethan that she was carrying their child? Francine thought as she walked slowly down to the beach where holidaymakers and local people were enjoying the last hour of sunlight before it turned to dusk.
As she looked around her she considered that most of those frolicking on the sand and challenging the incoming tide with surfboards at the ready would think her insane in wanting to leave Bluebell Cove.
But the house in France was all she had left of loving parents and a happy childhood, and though Ethan understood that, his loyalty to his commitments here in the village came first and he did not want to leave them for a life across the Channel
.
As she looked down at the beginning of a thickening waistline the evidence was there that another commitment, a joint one, was on its way, and she was going to have to tell him about it before someone else picked up on it first.
She began to retrace her steps with sudden urgency, hoping he hadn’t already left to spend the evening with Jenna and Lucas. To her surprise, as she began to walk the short distance back to the village she saw him coming towards her, and she took a deep breath. Why not let this be the moment of truth? she thought.
Ethan would understand why she hadn’t wanted to listen to Jenna’s joyful mother-to-be talk when he knew.
‘Why aren’t you with Jenna and Lucas?’ she asked uncomfortably.
‘I was on my way and saw you in the distance.’
‘Oh. I see.’ Feeling as if her legs would give way beneath her, she sank down onto one of the wooden benches that were dotted along the cliff path and pointed to the space beside her but he didn’t take the hint.
‘We need to talk,’ she told him as he stood looking down at her. ‘Have you got a moment to spare?’’
He almost groaned out loud at the question. Was it a reminder that she still felt herself to be low on his list of priorities?
‘Yes, of course I have,’ he said abruptly. ‘What is it you have to say?’
‘I’m pregnant, Ethan.’
‘Wow!’ he breathed collapsing into the vacant place beside her.
‘Yes, and I’m sure you will have no difficulty in recalling how and when it came about.’
‘None whatsoever,’ he said huskily. His stunned acceptance of what she’d just told him had made his throat go dry. On a tide of rising joy he said what she’d been expecting him to say. ‘And you’ve waited until you are almost four months pregnant before telling me? Yet I shouldn’t have needed telling. Your listlessness and pallor during the first months and then a sudden blooming should have made me realise.
‘I presume that you kept it from me because I’d misled you about the reason for me being in Paris that weekend. Because you still think I was only there for the sex.’
‘You presume wrongly,’ she protested. ‘I didn’t tell you because I was devastated at the thought of us bringing another child into a marriage that would soon be over. Obviously you would find out sooner or later, but I kept putting the moment off because I wasn’t sure how you would react when you knew.
‘I realised it wouldn’t be long before you took a long hard look at me and tuned in to what was happening. No one else knows I’m pregnant. Even the children don’t know. It would have been unforgivable to tell them before I’d told you.’
‘I find it incredible that you had doubts about my reaction when I found out,’ he said with his expression softening, ‘and to set your mind at rest, here you have it.’
As she observed him warily he took her in his arms. ‘I’m delighted,’ he murmured with his lips against the soft chestnut hair, ‘and I’m going to cancel the divorce proceedings first thing tomorrow.’
She shook her head. ‘No. Don’t do it for that reason, Ethan. It would have to be because we are both of the same mind about the future that we call it off, and we’re not, are we? I don’t want this child to become a bargaining source between us. Do you understand?’
‘Only too well,’ he replied flatly, ‘but don’t make any plans about taking the baby to live in Paris permanently, Francine. Two of us were involved in creating this new life, and two of us are going to be involved equally in its future, divorce or not.’
He was getting to his feet and looking down at her, sitting unmoving and white faced, said, ‘I’ll walk you home, it will be dark soon.’ And without speaking she rose obediently and fell into step beside him.
No words passed between them as they walked the short distance to Thimble Cottage but their thought processes were working overtime and when they arrived he said, ‘You weren’t wrong when you said we have to talk and now is as good a time as any. Not here, though. We don’t want Kirstie and Ben to find out they’re going to have a new brother or sister from something they overhear in conversation. I’ll phone Lucas to say I can’t make it and if you come across in five minutes, we’ll have the house to ourselves.’
‘What have you done about antenatal care?’ was his first question when they’d settled themselves on opposite sides of the sitting room.
‘Hunter’s Hill has me booked in for the birth and I’ve been attending the clinic there, which fortunately hasn’t coincided with my working hours at the practice.’
‘And is everything proceeding to plan?’ he asked, feeling like a total outsider with regard to a momentous happening in his life
‘Er, yes, so far, though there is one important matter we need to make a decision on, but not tonight Ethan, I’m tired.’
He didn’t pursue that in the light of what she’d just said. Instead he referred to what they’d discussed earlier by asking, ‘And you say the children don’t yet know they’re going to have a little brother or sister?’
‘That is so,’ she informed him, feeling that his questions were being fired at her like bullets from a gun. ‘I want us to tell them together.’ She managed a smile. ‘At twelve coming on thirteen I expect Ben to be rather embarrassed, and at eleven Kirstie to want to be a second little mother to the baby, but we shall see, shall we not?’
‘I don’t know. Shall we?’ he said flatly. ‘It will depend on which of us is living where, I would think.’ He glanced across to where the lights were on in the children’s bedrooms. ‘How about we tell them tomorrow? If we tell them tonight they’ll be talking about it for hours, but it must be no later than that. I don’t want them to find out from an outside source.’
‘I know,’ she agreed abjectly. ‘I never seem to get anything right that concerns us these days.’
He couldn’t let her think that about the child she was carrying, he thought achingly, and patting her cheek gently said, ‘You can’t describe giving me another child to love as getting it wrong, Francine. Go back and rest now and tomorrow we’ll discuss our responsibilities to our surprise baby in more depth.’
She nodded and as exhaustion washed over her after the trauma of the last couple of hours she got to her feet, wished him goodnight and departed from the house she’d called home until the fates had presented her with an alternative residence—
They told Kirstie and Ben about the baby the following evening at the end of the meal and their daughter’s eyes were round pools of delight as she cried, ‘Really? Do you hear that, Ben? Mum is going to have a baby!’
He wasn’t sharing her enthusiasm and asked, ‘Are we going to have those nappy things all over the place and be woken up at night by its crying?’
As his parents exchanged amused glances Ethan told him laughingly, ‘I’m afraid so. It will be just the same as when you and Kirstie were babies, except that you always cried the loudest.’
When they’d gone to meet their friends with instructions to be back before darkness fell Francine said on a more serious note, ‘The implications of what we’ve told them haven’t sunk in yet, but they will, and Kirstie will be the first wanting to know what the arrangements are going to be family-wise. In her own way she worries about what is going on between us.’
‘The solution to that is in your hands,’ he told her. ‘You know my feelings. I certainly know yours, so it’s stalemate. But it isn’t fair to have Kirstie being insecure because of what is going on.’
‘I’m renting Thimble Cottage as one means of preventing that, and no longer take the children with me when I go to Paris,’ she reminded him.
‘And you think that is enough?’
‘I don’t know!’ she cried. ‘Yet there is one thing that I do know.’
‘And what might that be?’
‘Your conscience doesn’t seem to trouble you as much as mine does me.’
‘So that is what you think, is it?’ he said flatly. ‘As every day goes by I’m seeing my dedication to t
he practice here in this beautiful place as a millstone around my neck instead of it being the satisfying and fulfilling job it used to be. The more we entangle ourselves in the mess we’re making of our lives, the more I wonder if we ever loved each other as much as we like to think we did.’
‘How can you say that?’ she protested wretchedly. ‘Surely you haven’t forgotten that night in Paris?’
He didn’t take her up on that. Instead he asked, ‘So am I right in thinking that the discussion you mentioned last night was with regard to whether we go down the amniocentesis road and let them take some of the amniotic fluid to check for abnormalities or not?’
‘Yes,’ she replied gravely. ‘In the past I’ve always sympathised with older pregnant mothers faced with that decision because of there being some slight risk to the baby in having the test. Now I’m one myself and at sixteen weeks into the pregnancy we need to decide.’
‘And what did you usually advise those other women?’ he asked with equal seriousness.
‘That they take the test for their sake and that of the baby.’
He nodded. ‘I’ve always said the same, Francine, so I suggest we make an appointment. I will be there with you, needless to say.’
He almost said that it would be helpful if it was in the afternoon as the morning surgery, which was the busiest, would be over, and if she could cope with the last hour of it on her own he could fit in what home visits had been asked for before noon.
But it was an occasion that put everything else into perspective and as if she’d read his mind Francine said, ‘I’ll ask for an afternoon appointment if possible as that would be less disruptive for the surgery.’
‘It would be good if you could,’ he said softly, ‘but don’t let them delay it because we have other commitments. The sooner the better for the test, Francine.’
They were going to have another child to love, he thought, and though he couldn’t have it for her, he was going to be with her every step of the way, no matter what the future held for their marriage.
Christmas in Bluebell Cove Page 8
