by Addison Cole
His brows knitted together in confusion.
“I made a commitment to her education, and that’s a commitment I won’t back down from. It’s only two more years, which I know must feel like a lifetime to you.” Needing the connection and for him to realize how strongly she meant what she was about to say, she pressed her hand to his chest, surprised to feel how fast his heart was beating. “When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, you realize that two years will go fast. I still can’t believe that you had been asking me out for a year before I finally came to my senses. A year went quickly, Blue, didn’t it?” Please say yes. Please, please say yes.
“That was the longest year of my life,” he answered with a hint of exasperation and a smile. “You infiltrated my dreams and lingered in my mind every minute of every day. Two years is a ridiculously long time. This is all new for me, so I don’t really know what I’m dealing with, but I know what I want, Lizzie, and I want to be with you.”
She held her breath for a but…
He swallowed hard, sending his Adam’s apple bouncing up his neck. “I saw you taping last night. I only watched for a minute, but—”
“You watched me?” Oh no. That’s the kiss of death.
“I couldn’t help it. I was getting ready to leave and I heard you talking, and…I’m sorry. I went down and watched from the stairs for just a few minutes.” He reached up and touched her cheek. “But what I saw was a woman who was acting, not my Lizzie. On some level I’ve understood that the whole time, but on a deeper, more intimate level, there was still a twinge of something gnawing at me.”
She dropped her gaze, unable to take much more. She was already standing on a precipice and was afraid that one strong gust of wind would send her over the edge.
He lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. “I realized that I haven’t felt the claws of jealousy for so long, I didn’t recognize them.”
She fisted her hands in his shirt, stifling a laugh of relief, because it would be wrong to laugh at something like this, but she’d been so scared about what he might say that laughing was about all she could manage.
“Jealousy? Over guys I don’t know or care about?”
“What can I say? I’m jealous over my girl.” His lips quirked up, and in that split second, the tide changed between them. “When I first started working at your house, I was your friend, but I was hoping to become more. And every note, every sugary treat, every flash of your adorable dimples, made me want to cross that line even more. And then suddenly, there you were, and you were mine. And I was the happiest man on earth. Then I found out that while you were mine, you were seducing other guys with the same sugary treats and seductive voice. I’m not judging you. This part isn’t about you. It’s about me. I can’t help it if I’m jealous, and I admit it. I am as jealous as the day is long.”
“No, I guess you can’t help it.” She was still clinging to his shirt, trying to remain stable on this roller-coaster ride of emotions. As relieved as she was, and as much as she knew they needed to talk this out even more, she was painfully aware of the time and of her impending confession to Maddy and her parents hovering over her, making her even more anxious.
“I have to go get Maddy, but we both need to be sure about all of this. I know two years is a long time in your eyes, but I’ve been doing this for so long that I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope that when I get there, you’ll be waiting for me.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
MADDY HADN’T STOPPED chatting since they left the university grounds, and Lizzie couldn’t get a word in edgewise. She hardly had the heart to interrupt her sister’s rant about the trials and tribulations of college life; after all, she agreed with them.
“I mean really, Lizzie. Where do these guys get off thinking that just because a girl goes to a party that she wants to sleep with someone? I like parties, but that doesn’t mean I’m there looking for a guy to hook up with.” Maddy shoved a Twizzler into her mouth and pushed her long, honey-colored hair from her shoulders. “All I want is to get my education, have fun with my girlfriends, and maybe meet a nice guy. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not opposed to sex in general, but…Are there nice guys out there? Are there guys who aren’t busy drinking and sleeping with every girl in sight?”
Lizzie laughed, but inside she was thinking, Yeah, there are. And I hope I haven’t lost the best of them.
“There are, Mad, but they may be hard to come by in college. Think of a hundred kids raised like us—no dating, nine-thirty curfew—all set free for the first time ever. Of course they’re going to be all over everything they possibly can get their hands on. They’re rebelling, and experiencing, and living life the way they haven’t been allowed to. But that doesn’t make them bad people.”
“Just horny people,” Maddy said with a laugh. “Geez, I’ve been talking this whole time. I’m sorry. I’m just so sick of it all, and the girls are just as bad, but I won’t go there.” Her eyes rolled over Lizzie like she could see the discomfort prickling her skin. “What’s up with you lately? How’s the shop?”
“The shop is great, but I do need to talk to you about something.”
“If it’s about my books, I got a job at the bookstore next semester. I’ll get a discount, and I hope to earn enough to pay for them myself.” Pride radiated from her sister’s hazel eyes. “See? You taught me well. I’m trying to pay my own way so Mom and Dad don’t have to stress about it and so you don’t have to keep shoveling your hard-earned money my way.”
“That’s kind of what I need to talk to you about. You know I don’t mind paying, right? And that Mom and Dad would if they could.”
Maddy grabbed another Twizzler from her purse and waved a dismissive hand, then pointed the long red candy at Lizzie. “I know you don’t mind, but I still feel bad.”
“Well, don’t.” Lizzie pulled off the highway at the exit for Brewster and drove toward their parents’ house. “Mad, I haven’t exactly been honest with you about where the money for your college is coming from.”
Maddy offered a Twizzler to Lizzie.
“No, thanks. Mom’s making dinner,” Lizzie said.
Maddy pulled a Snickers from her purse and waved it in front of Lizzie. “You know you want it.” She tore open the wrapper and handed the delicious chocolate to Lizzie.
“Gosh, I love you.” Lizzie bit off a hunk while Maddy nibbled at her licorice. “Did you hear what I said, Mad? I lied to you.”
“Uh-huh. But you never lie. You’re even more straitlaced than me.”
“Not really. It just seems that way.” She pulled over in the parking lot of their old elementary school and parked the car so she could give Maddy her full attention.
“Oh no, what are you going to tell me?” Maddy’s hands fell to her lap, a look of worry riddling her beautiful young face.
“It’s not that bad. Well, it is, maybe, but…here goes. When I was in college and Dad got sick, I had to pay my own way, too, and I ended up with loads of school loans. I saw myself working for minimum wage for the rest of my life and never realizing my dreams because of it, and so I found a way out. And that way out paid for my school loans, my flower shop, and now for your school, too.”
“Just tell me what it is, Lizzie. You sound like Mom when she’s dancing around something she doesn’t want to talk about.”
“I do a video webcast called the Naked Baker—but I’m not naked; I wear an apron—and it’s all monetized. I earn money from it to pay for your school.”
Maddy’s lips pressed into a firm line, and then she burst into laughter. She laughed so hard her head tipped back. “Oh my gosh, you had me there for a second. You? The Naked Baker? More like the Proper Baker.”
Her laughter was contagious, but it also irked Lizzie to know that everyone saw her as such a good girl. “Madison, I’m telling you the truth.”
Maddy whipped her head in Lizzie’s direction. “No, you’re definitely messing with me.”
Lizzie leveled her most
serious big-sister stare at her.
Maddie gasped. “For real? Why? I thought you made enough money with the flower shop to help.”
Lizzie shook her head, shame burning her cheeks. She told Maddy the whole sordid story, and when she was done, they sat in silence for so long Lizzie felt sick to her stomach.
“Do you hate me?” she finally asked.
“Hate you? No. I just can’t believe you would do that. Not that there’s something wrong with it, but there kinda is.” Maddy’s gaze softened apologetically. “Do Mom and Dad know?”
Lizzie shook her head.
“Please don’t tell them. They can’t take this, Lizzie. I guess I’ve always known that you would do anything for me, and now that the initial shock has worn off, I get it. But they won’t be okay with this. Gosh, I can’t even picture you doing something like this. Mom and Dad will have a stroke.”
“Hey, I make a great blonde, and my legs aren’t bad.”
Maddy rolled her eyes. “You’re gorgeous all over, but…” She reached for Lizzie’s hand. “Thank you for doing all that, but maybe you shouldn’t do it anymore. I feel responsible. I am responsible. Oh no. This is my fault. I’ve turned my sister into an online ho!”
“Wow, Mad, don’t soften the blow or anything.” Lizzie looked out the window, caught between laughter and dismay.
“I didn’t mean that. I just…Lizzie, now that I know what you’re doing, I can’t keep taking your money.”
“You can and you will.” Lizzie started the car. “And I have to tell Mom and Dad. I can’t keep lying to everyone.”
“They won’t understand, and then I’ll be to blame for that, too.”
“Mad, I’m a grown-up. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me and my choices. No matter how Mom and Dad take it, it’s not your fault.”
An hour later, Lizzie wished she’d listened to Maddy’s advice. Her parents sat at either side of their dining room table with pained looks on their faces. Her mother’s trembling hand covered her mouth; her thin brows were pinched together, and her father scowled, his eyes flaming with disappointment.
“Dad, say something. Anything,” Lizzie pleaded.
“You’re not the girl I raised.” Vernon Barber pushed from the table, avoiding eye contact with Lizzie. He bent and kissed the top of Maddy’s head. “Madison, thank you for coming home for dinner.”
It might have been the condescending way he made the proclamation about her or the emotions of the last few days getting the better of her. Lizzie wasn’t sure what tipped her over the edge, but she threw her napkin on the table and pushed to her feet.
“I’m paying for the education you couldn’t afford. How about saying something like, Thank you. We may not think it’s the best way to go about it, but good job.”
“Lizzie!” Maddy snapped.
Lizzie had never raised her voice to their father before, and she knew she was skirting a dangerous line, but she was too angry to stop.
Her father waited until she was done, then silently left the room.
“Vernon,” their mother said in a harsh whisper. Margaret Barber watched her husband walk upstairs; then she picked up her fork and, without looking at Lizzie or Maddy, said, “Shall we finish our meal?”
Maddy gave Lizzie a stern look that clearly said, I told you so!
“Mom, I want to talk about this. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and Dad sooner.” Lizzie’s stomach ached, but it wasn’t sadness that had her pushing her mother to talk. It was anger. Anger at feeling like she’d needed to keep the whole darn thing a secret in the first place, anger for putting herself in this position. Anger at her father for walking away.
When her mother didn’t respond, she pushed harder. “Talk to me, please?” Lizzie pleaded.
Her mother placed her fork beside her plate and folded her hands in her lap. Her eyes were sad and confused at once, but there was no mistaking the sheen of love hovering above the other emotions. “Elizabeth, I know you did this for your sister. And before that, for yourself, but that doesn’t make it right.”
“It doesn’t make it wrong, either,” Madison said, surprising them all.
Their mother exhaled a long breath. “This will take your father some time to get over.”
“And you?” Lizzie asked, bracing herself with the table to keep from running from the room.
“You’re my daughter, and I love you.” Her mother reached for Lizzie’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “We all make mistakes. Some are just bigger than others.”
They finished dinner in silence, and before Lizzie and Madison left, their mother embraced them both and said, “This will just take some time,” to Lizzie.
When Lizzie dropped Maddy off at her dorm, Maddy hugged her tightly and said, “You’re the best sister I could ever have, and I love you and appreciate your ability to be a ho in private.”
Maddy had always been able to cheer Lizzie up, and after their tense dinner with their mother and being shunned by their father, she needed to remember why she was doing the show in the first place. And when it came to Maddy, she still felt like no concession was too big.
Chapter Twenty-Three
BLUE WORRIED ALL evening about Lizzie telling her family about the webcast. As proud as he was of Lizzie for wanting to finally tell her family the truth, the more he thought about it, the more concerned he became. He’d had hours to be introspective about Lizzie’s webcast, and among other things, he realized that while complete honesty was vital to him, that didn’t mean it was right for everyone else. He didn’t want her to come home to an empty house if the evening didn’t go well, so he’d driven to her house a half hour ago and had been waiting for her on her porch ever since.
When his cell phone rang, he hoped it was Lizzie, but wasn’t surprised to see Sky’s name on the screen. He answered the call knowing he hadn’t been fair to Sky either. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your calls.”
“I hope you have redeemed yourself. What the heck, Blue?”
“Don’t you think this whole thing was a freaking blow to me?” He paced the yard. “First, she completely steals my heart, then she reveals that she walks around in an apron and heels for strangers. It’s not like she’s on Rachael Ray, fully dressed.”
“She’s not naked, Blue. I watched a video. I think she looks hot as a blonde.”
“She’d look hot bald.” He smiled, thinking about how true that was. “That’s not the point. She owns me, Sky. Heart and soul, and now…”
“She owns you? And this is the first I’m hearing of that? Now who’s blown who away?”
He smiled. If anyone knew how much it meant for Blue to fall for a woman, it was Sky. She’d been there every step of the way over the past few years, and she knew he rarely dated, much less opened up to anyone but family.
“I should have been in touch. I’m sorry. It’s been a crazy week, and now we’ve got this to deal with. But, Sky, make no mistake about it. I love her, and I admire her—I just have to learn to deal with this other stuff.”
“Oh, Blue.” Sky sighed, and her voice turned stern again. “When I first met Sawyer and had a hard time with his boxing, you told me that boxing wasn’t who he was; it was what he did. So where do you come off holding this over Lizzie’s head?”
He pictured the scowl on her face as she challenged him. “That’s just it. I’m not holding it over her head. I’m trying to deal with my own jealousy—and you know me, Sky. I don’t get jealous. Besides, this is different. You opposed what he did, not…”
He walked around to the side yard and headed out back, away from the lights of the porch, which made him feel exposed. His gut burned as he bit back what he really wanted to say. I love her so much it hurts, and I can’t protect Lizzie and her reputation from all the things they say about her online.
“Not what?” Sky pushed.
“You were opposed to Sawyer’s fighting, but—and don’t you dare think for a second that I believe this—but it wasn’t like
he was out doing something where people could think that he was slutty. Women weren’t watching him seduce the camera like a pro.”
“So what? So she’s good at seduction. That’s a feather in her cap. You’re being a jackass. I hope you know that.”
“Didn’t you hear me? I told you that I don’t feel that way. I’ve read the things people write online about the Naked Baker, and it makes me want to kill someone.” Renewed anger simmered inside him. He wished he had the answers and the wherewithal to be able to ignore the things he’d read online about Lizzie, but it made him want to hurt the people who wrote it.
Sky sighed. “So, what are you going to do?”
“The very best I can. I’m trying to work through my own issues. That’s our biggest hurdle. And you know she’s doing this for Maddy, right? For her sister. She’s just so incredible. Who else would do that?”
“SOMEONE WHO PUTS family first.” The anger in Lizzie’s voice resonated through her with a vehemence she had no idea she possessed. “Of all people, I thought you’d get that.”
Blue spun around, and the phone dropped to his side. He hadn’t even heard her car pull up. “Lizzie!”
“Stupid me. I got your messages and rushed home after dropping Maddy off. I thought you really wanted to talk, but this—”
“It’s Sky!” He held the phone out toward her. “She called to give me a hard time.”
Lizzie stormed past him toward her kitchen door. She heard him tell Sky he had to go as she went inside and stalked into the living room. Seconds later he grabbed her arm from behind.
“Let go, Blue.” She was too mad to talk rationally. “I’m just slutty, seducing the camera like a pro.”
“You heard that out of context.” He reached for her, and she shrugged him off. “Come on, Lizzie. You heard part of what was said, but it wasn’t meant the way you’re making it sound. Do you really think I think you’re slutty? If you heard that, then you heard me say I read the stuff online about you and I wanted to kill the people who wrote it. I’m defending you, Lizzie, not demeaning you.”
