by Kitty Thomas
He'd only gotten a few bites in when he was interrupted yet again.
“Doc.”
Lindsay glared up at Brian. He leaned casually against the door frame, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He had a bandage on his head, no doubt Mina's caretaking.
“I don't know why I didn't kill you.”
Brian shrugged. “Now you know how it feels, to have someone try to get in the middle of what's yours. Doesn't feel so nice, does it? When someone else is writing the rules and controlling things?”
“Get out.”
“I never would have let Mina go,” Brian said.
“You didn't have to worry about a psychopath torturing her to death, either.”
Brian's eyes narrowed. “Name calling? Is that what it's come to between us?”
“It's come to a lot of things.”
***
Shannon waited until she was sure Damian was asleep before slipping out from under his arm and out of bed. She took her clothes into the hallway and quietly put them on. She closed her eyes and held onto the wall as she made her way down the stairs. If she closed her eyes she could pretend they were normal stairs. They felt more solid this way. Safer.
When she reached the bottom, her gaze strayed back up to Damian's room. He still appeared to be in bed—and asleep if the darkness was any indication. She punched in the security code. The system made a tiny beep and then shut off.
Outside it was windy. She went around to the back of the house and stood on the rocks at the edge. A small piece broke off and fell a long way down before it finally hit the water. She stepped back until she was sure she was on safe, solid ground. The moon was full, illuminating the waves crashing against the rocks below.
Not too very long ago, she would have seen an escape here at the edge of this cliff. A quick drop into oblivion. As easy as pills? She wasn't sure. She didn't plan to ever find out. She just wanted to see the water and feel the sea breeze on her face. In another set of circumstances she could have found happiness in this expansive glass house by the sea. She stood for several minutes smelling the salt and watching the water, then went back inside, grabbed Damian's car keys off the kitchen counter, and just... left.
He'd been so sure the security system would keep her inside. That the alarm would wake him. Or maybe he'd just been tired and distracted. Maybe he'd thought he would feel or know if she left his room. Maybe he hadn't realized he'd left his keys out.
She'd driven about five miles before she was able to fully acknowledge what she was doing. She should take this opportunity and go to the police and report... who?
She could definitely report Brian, but not without hurting Lindsay or other people at the house she cared about. She didn't want to care if she hurt Lindsay. He'd hurt her. He'd thrown her away. It was the worst thing he could possibly do to her, and he knew it.
And what would she report Damian for? Trying to protect her from Brian? For giving her a life and a home away from him? For feeding her beef stew and tucking her into a warm bed with the sound of the ocean waves to lull her to sleep? For offering her everything she'd ever thought she'd wanted wrapped in exactly the kind of package she'd always dreamed of? What a monster.
Yes, he'd kidnapped her, technically. He'd taken her when Lindsay had drugged her and tied her up in his car and locked her in his house. But he wasn't the villain. He was trying to protect her.
It wasn't like she had a life to go back to anymore. There was only one life she wanted, and... he didn't want her.
She could still go back to the big glass house and get back in bed with Damian. She could see a future with him. A happy future. She did want him. Only a few hours ago she hadn't been able to wipe the goofy smile from her face from the new things he'd introduced her to and made her crave over a couple of short days.
But she kept driving farther and farther away from the cliff and the ocean and the smell of the salt. She didn't know exactly how to get back to the city from here. She'd been unconscious most of this trip and the last time she'd been paying more attention to Lindsay than the drive. but Damian's car had GPS. She could reverse engineer and retrace her way back into the city. From there she knew where she was going. She'd been on the trip to and from the house with Lindsay so many times.
She knew it was insane to go back. She knew that Brian would probably kill her even as she entertained fantasies of hiding in that enormous house and just never crossing paths with him again. But she was so tired of being the background of everyone else's life. She wanted to make her own choice about something. If it was a risk, so be it. If she could die, so be it. At least she was making her own choice for the first time in longer than she could remember.
However foolish or dangerous, she wanted to make a clear and definite choice for what she wanted without any coercion, without any influence from anyone outside herself. She wanted to take her own chances for once and let the chips of her life fall where they may. She wanted to be someone who was strong and brave, who didn't just cling to others for rescue.
It was deep into the night when she reached the house. She parked Damian's BMW outside the gate. The gate creaked open when she punched the code in.
She crept around to the back of the house beside the pool. The guys had stopped using an alarm on the house itself years ago due to the security bracelets and the perimeter. The door by the pool was often left unlocked. Both Annette and Mina sometimes liked to take midnight swims. Shannon held her breath as she tried the door. It clicked easily open in her hand.
The first place she went was Lindsay's office. There was a fifty/fifty chance he'd left it unlocked. He often did. He'd started locking up the drugs and important papers in a cabinet, but often left the main door unlocked—probably because he didn't want to have to remember keys every time he went to his office in his own home.
This door, too, opened easily.
But the desk drawer that he'd put her collar in was locked.
“Dammit,” she hissed. She should be grateful she'd gotten this far. But she wasn't prepared to give up. She had no idea where Lindsay keep the key, but she didn't need the key. She just needed a hammer. What difference did it make if he punished her for ruining his desk in light of everything else she was doing? And if Brian got his hands on her again, well... any threat from Lindsay paled in comparison.
She slipped quietly down the hallway, past the fitness room where she could hear the treadmill going.
Fuck. Brian was awake. Running again. Always running. The treadmill kept it's steady pace, and she continued down the darkened hallway. She went to the supply closet and rummaged through box after box until she finally found the tools.
When she returned to the office, she jumped and let out a surprised yelp when Brian spun around in the chair.
“Whatcha doin' with the hammer?”
Shannon took a step back, hovering in the doorway. She felt the edges of panic creeping into her. The last person she wanted to notice her presence was Brian. Whatever stupid brave front she'd been putting on, Brian was still the last person she'd wanted to see tonight.
Maybe she'd hoped she could get to Lindsay and convince him to find another way. Given enough time to argue her case, she could convince him to run with her. Maybe Brian would catch them, but maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he would lose interest.
Now she might never get the chance to have that conversation. Nobody else knew she was here. Brian could take her downstairs and... he could do anything. Nobody would stop him.
Suddenly she couldn't breathe right as the cold clammy dread wrapped around her like the whip marks on her shoulders.
“Shannon? What's the hammer for?” he asked again.
“I-I need to get into the top drawer.”
“Why?”
“My collar's in there.”
“You'd risk being in the same house with me to be with him?”
“Y-yes, Sir.” In truth, through all the tough mental self-talk somehow the full reality of Brian hadn't occu
rred to her on the drive until she'd actually reached the house. It wasn't as though she didn't understand it, she'd just been furiously blocking it from her consciousness so she didn't have to deal with it—sure she could safely reach her master one more time.
And maybe she was still in shock from earlier. She felt the bandages pressed against her back, and a tear slipped down her cheek.
He rose out of the chair and moved around the desk into her space. “You were safe. Completely out of my reach.” He stroked the side of her cheek.
Shannon cringed from him and gripped the hammer more tightly in her hand. That wasn't true. She was never out of his reach, he'd just decided to let her go as long as it meant Lindsay would be miserable.
“Gonna hit me with that?”
She shook her head. “N-no, Sir.” She might if she thought she could actually kill him, but then she had no doubt Mina would kill her. So as nice as the fantasy was...
She whimpered as he bent next to her and pulled a small key out of the potted plant beside the door. “This might be easier.”
Shannon took the offered key, wondering what his game was. He stepped aside, and she moved quickly past him back into the office. He stood in the doorway watching as she unlocked the desk drawer and pulled out the smooth black box that held her collar.
She was painfully and terrifyingly aware of the fact that Brian blocked her exit. But she tried not to think about it. She opened the box, took out the collar, and slipped the platinum and diamonds around her throat.
She looked up hoping to find Brian had evaporated from the room like a ghost. But he still stood leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. Watching her.
Finally he spoke. “You know, I fucking hate him. Shit hasn't been right with me and the doc since he brought Mina to the house. But I'm developing a grudging respect for you, princess.” Then he turned and went back down the hall to the fitness room to continue his run.
What the hell did that mean?
Shannon gripped the edge of the desk and struggled to pull herself up to stand. The adrenaline dump from his closeness had turned her legs to useless jelly. After several shaky breaths, she left the office and closed the door behind her.
She took the elevator up to the second floor because she didn't trust her legs to take her up a full flight of stairs. She hesitated outside Lindsay's door. If she went in there, she might wake him. And she desperately wanted to sleep, not fight all night. She went down the hall to one of the empty rooms and ripped the blankets and pillows off the bed then returned and made a little bed in the doorway of Lindsay's room. Anything they had to say would be better left for morning.
Chapter Eighteen
Lindsay opened his door and nearly tripped over a bundle of... Shannon? She was curled up with blankets and pillows on the ground. For a moment his brain refused to put together the scene in front of him. She'd come back? How had she come back? Did she run away? Had Damian hurt her?
No. He wouldn't. Lindsay was sure of it. He felt unbelievably happy at the sight of her there, waiting outside his room, all wrapped up like a gift for him. He shook his head. He couldn't go there. He couldn't let himself think about what he wanted. Nothing had changed about their situation. Brian was still a threat. It wasn't safe for her here. If Brian got hold of her even one more time, she wouldn't survive the encounter.
Why had she come back? Why would she put herself in harm's way? In Brian's way?
Lindsay cleared his throat to wake her. When her eyes fluttered open he said “What are you doing here?”
He didn't call her by his pet name for her, and it was clear from the expression on her face that she'd noticed this omission.
“Master, I...”
“No,” Lindsay said. “I gave you to Brand. He's your master, now.”
Tears began to well in her eyes. Lindsay's jaw tightened. He couldn't be moved by her tears. She had to understand this. He'd done this for her. For her safety. Damian was a better match for her in every way. He had more time for her. He was near her age. He didn't live in an isolated mansion with a psychopath who wanted to destroy her.
“Fuck that, and fuck you!” She ripped the blankets off and stood, staring him down. Technically she looked up at him, but she may as well have been glaring down her nose for that look in her eyes.
He almost took a step back even though he was twice her size because he'd never seen her with quite this much fury before. He noticed suddenly that she wore his collar. How had she gotten into the locked drawer?
“Did Damian harm you?”
“No, he didn't harm me. But I want to be with you! Don't you want me anymore? You'd just... throw me away? You didn't even let me have a say in it.”
“You were mine to do with as I wished.” He said the words coldly, hoping he could dissuade her and push her back into Damian's arms even as he wanted her in his own.
“I want to be yours again,” she said.
“We can't... Brian will...”
“Fuck Brian. I'm not willing to lose this... what we have, over... that psycho. There has to be another solution.”
“But you like Damian. And he's closer to your own age.”
“I don't care! I want you! I want to be with you. You made me trust you and fall in love with you. You woke up something inside me I thought was gone forever. You think I can just shut that off because you've conveniently found some hot guy who can give me orgasms?”
Lindsay let out a long breath trying to ignore most of that little speech because he wanted to give in. He wanted to keep her. Even though he knew it put her in danger.
“Even without Brian... I'm so much older than you, and some day...”
She interrupted him. “Some day isn't today. If you aren't going to keep me, just give me back to Brian and let him kill me. If I can't be with you, he wins anyway.”
He'd had no idea she'd gotten this... attached. Or that she ever had this much fire inside her. It was so painfully attractive.
“How did you get here?” he asked.
“I figured out the security code and stole his car.” Off Lindsay's shocked and somewhat amused expression, she continued, “What's he going to do? Go to the police? And say what? My slave escaped from me and stole my car and took it to the criminal enterprise where they trained her, please go get my car?”
It wasn't certain Damian would know where she'd taken his car, but point taken.
How was it possible that this woman... this strong, brave woman could have been at the point of suicide only a few short months ago? How was it that she had faced Brian again, the sum of all her fears, and even then had come back to this house? From a therapeutic perspective she was an amazing successful case study. But she wasn't a case study. She was Shannon.
Lindsay sighed. “Even if you could stay, you know you'd have to be punished for... all of this.”
“I know,” she said, looking down, that hint of submission resurfacing at even the hope he'd take her back into his bed and his life.
“Go into my room and stay there. Lock the door, and do not open it until you hear my voice on the other side. I need to call Damian, and I need to talk to Brian.”
“I'll be yours again?”
“I don't know yet. I can't promise anything.”
She went into the room, and slammed and locked the door, making her displeasure at his hesitance known. It wasn't as though he didn't want her. For god's sake she was everything he'd ever hoped to find. But he couldn't put his own needs above her fucking life.
He looked up to find Brian lurking a few yards away in the hallway, looking as though he'd heard, if not everything, then most of everything.
Lindsay moved toward the other man to keep their conversation well out of Shannon's hearing.
“She's safe with me,” Brian said before Lindsay could go into one of the versions of the practiced speech he'd been trying to form before he'd noticed Brian standing there.
“And why would I trust that?” Lindsay asked. �
��After everything that's transpired. After yesterday, do you actually believe I would trust that you no longer have it out for me?”
Brian laughed. “I said she is safe. I'm not over what you did when Mina came to the house. I'll probably never be over it. But your girl, is safe. I'll honor your claim on her. But it's for her, not you.”
“Why?”
“She's brave. She impressed me. I think it's wasted on you, but whatever.”
“So you regret what you did to her?” Lindsay pushed. Could Brian be growing as a person? Could there be a conscience somewhere inside him?
The other man laughed, a cold cruel sound bouncing off the walls of the tight hallway. “Do you need to go back to Shrink School, Doc? Do we need to go over the sociopath section of the lesson plan again? Fuck no, I'm not sorry. I've never regretted anything except for one person.”
Mina. Her name hung on the air between them unspoken. It baffled Lindsay that Brian could feel such regret and horror for a mistake he'd made with Mina that in many ways paled to what he'd done to Shannon, yet could feel nothing when it came to Shannon's pain and suffering at his hands.
“Fine,” Lindsay finally said. He'd only just started his day and already he felt exhausted. And Shannon still had a punishment coming.
“Great. Are we done with the touchy-feely hug-it-out session? It's making my skin crawl.”
“We're done. But if you ever touch her...”
“I know... you'll become the new resident killer. Blah blah blah. You didn't do it yesterday, so I don't see why you think it's a credible threat now, barely twelve hours later.”
Lindsay stepped closer into Brian's personal space. He was actually a bit taller and broader than Brian. It was only the other man's unapologetic sadism and unflinching willingness to torture and kill people that made him seem like the biggest, scariest thing in the house.
Brian saw the intimidation tactic for what it was and sneered.
Lindsay lowered his voice. “I didn't follow through because I knew it would destroy Mina, and she would probably kill me for it. But during the night I've worked through that. If you ever touch Shannon again, I will kill you both.”
