“If what?”
“How would you feel if I went to a party—with Sean?” She blurted out the last two words. Maybe if she said them fast enough they’d pass through Mads without hurting her.
“With Sean?” Mads looked stunned. “You mean, like a date? Did he ask you out?”
Holly nodded.
“He did?” Mads bounced a little with excitement. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“He just asked me five minutes ago,” Holly said. It wasn’t a lie, exactly. He did just ask her to the party. Why mention all the other times he’d asked her out?
“Oh, my God,” Mads said. “I can’t believe it. Sean asked you out!”
It was hard to read how Mads felt about it. She flushed and seemed excited, but was she excited for Holly in a good way or just emotional, in a bad way?
“So, what do you think?” Holly asked.
Mads turned and looked at Stephen. She took a breath. “What can I say? Go for it.”
“It won’t bother you?” Holly asked. “I know how you feel about him.”
“How could I say no to you?” Mads said. “You’re my friend. And I have Stephen. It’s silly. Of course you should go! Just promise you will tell me everything. I want to hear every detail. Okay? Do you promise?”
“Of course,” Holly said. “I’d tell you everything anyway. Like I always do.”
“Awesome,” Mads said. “So when’s the party?”
“Friday night. Alex Sipress’s.”
“And you’re going to go?”
“I guess so.”
“Call me when you get home. Or the next morning at the latest. Okay?”
“I will. Thanks, Mads.”
“What are you thanking me for? I didn’t do anything.”
Mads went back to Stephen, who stopped reading to talk to her. Holly felt a flush of warmth. She was happy for Mads, that she had such a nice relationship with her boyfriend. And that she was such a generous friend, to let Holly go out with the boy she’d dreamed about for so long. It really was amazing of her.
“How’d she take it?” Sebastiano asked.
“Well,” Holly said. “Better than I expected. Very, very well.”
“Sean, dude, you made it.” Alex Sipress clasped Sean’s hand in some kind of dudeshake and nodded at Holly. “Hey there—I remember you. Hannah, right?”
“Holly.”
“Yeah, Holly. Grab a beer, and let’s start partying.”
Sean took a couple of bottles of beer from the fridge, twisted off the caps, and gave one to Holly. He clinked his bottle against hers. “You finally said yes,” he said. “I was getting worried there for a minute.”
“Just for a minute?”
“Well… you did finally say yes.”
“Don’t make me regret it,” Holly said.
“Hi, Sean.” Three pretty senior girls gathered around the two of them, trailed by a couple of burly guys. Sean put his arm around Holly, as if to make it clear to everyone that they should respect her as much as they did him.
“This is Holly,” he announced.
“Hi, Holly.” The girls smiled at her in a way that they never would have if she’d just passed them by at school.
“Hi,” Holly said.
“Guess who’s out by the pool,” one of the guys said. “Dykstra.”
“No way!” Sean’s arm fell from Holly’s shoulders. He started across the kitchen toward the back door. “When did he get back? Come on, Holly, you’ve got to meet Dykstra.”
Holly shrugged and followed him. The whole group trouped outside to see Dykstra, whoever that was.
“We were buddies—like this,” Sean said, wrapping two fingers around each other to show his former closeness to Dykstra. “Until tenth grade. Then his family moved to L.A. He’s on TV now.”
“You mean Ben Dykstra?” Holly asked. “From Pacific Coast Highway?”
“Yeah. He plays a surfer dude named Waxman. I don’t really watch the show that much.” He leaned close to Holly and whispered, “It’s kind of stupid.”
Holly laughed. Pacific Coast Highway was a stupid show. Holly rarely watched it herself. But Ben Dykstra had managed to become a teen heartthrob in spite of the show, and every teenage girl knew who he was, whether she watched TV or not.
“Benedetto!” Ben Dykstra slurred in his trademark surfer drawl. A girl was sitting on his lap—was that Shayna Davis?—but he shifted her off to get up and greet Sean.
“Bennie!” Sean said. They did another dude-shake, different from the one Sean did with Alex. This one involved more finger motions.
“Bennie and Bennie!” Ben said.
“That’s what we used to be called,” Sean said to Holly. “Bennie and Bennie.”
“This is Shayna,” Ben said.
Holly thought she’d recognized her. She was also a TV actress, mostly in minor parts, but big enough so you’d know who she was.
“This is Holly,” Sean said. He pulled over a lounge chair, placed it next to Ben’s, and sat down, patting a spot beside him for Holly. The seniors who had seemed so cool to Holly only minutes earlier hovered around, hoping to be included in the conversation between Bennie and Bennie and their dates, who were now the epicenter of the party.
“So, how’s old Rosewood?” Ben asked, snuggling against Shayna.
“Same old,” Sean said. “Totally boring. Swim team’s good—that’s about it. I can’t wait to graduate and get the hell out of there.”
“I hear you,” Ben said. “I quit school last year. I’ve got a tutor on the set, but he can’t make me do much. I’m seventeen—what do you want? I’ve got better things to do—know what I’m saying?” He gave Shayna another squeeze.
“Right,” Sean said.
“So you’re not going to finish high school?” Holly asked. The question slipped out before she had a chance to stop it. And she didn’t really care. But she was curious to hear the answer.
“I’ll take the GED—no big deal,” Ben said. “It’s not like it’s hard or anything.”
“I took it this year, and I passed,” Shayna said. “And I only went up to tenth grade in school.”
“She’s smarter than she looks,” Ben said.
“How about you?” Ben turned to Holly. “What’s your story? Cute as usual, bro,” he added to Sean.
“I don’t really have a story,” Holly said.
“She’s a cool girl,” Sean said.
“How long have you been together?” Shayna asked.
“This is our first date,” Holly said. “We actually don’t even know each other all that well.”
“But I’ll be getting to know her real fast,” Sean said.
“That’s what you think,” Holly said.
“That’s what I know,” Sean said.
“Who-o-a.” Ben laughed.
“You want to bet?” Holly said. She was enjoying this banter, and the sense that the whole party was half-listening, ready to gossip about the outcome.
“I’ll take you on,” Sean said. “How do you want to do this? Game of poker?”
“I’m not that good at poker,” Holly said.
“How about high-low?” Ben said. “That’s like doofus poker.”
“I almost lost my virginity on a high-low bet,” Shayna said. “Luckily the guy didn’t hold me to it.”
“Well, I’m not letting Holly out of this one,” Sean said. “Sipress!” he yelled toward the house. “Got any cards?”
“I’ll go see.” Quintana Rhea, one of Holly’s few fellow sophomores at the party, ran into the kitchen, where Alex was playing host.
“Now.” Sean rubbed his hands together comically. “What should we bet?”
“How about winner takes it all,” Ben said with a leer. “If you know what I mean?”
“Sorry, not on the first date,” Sean said primly. It was a joke, but Holly appreciated it. It saved her from having to say it. It was, in its own way, a gentlemanly thing to do.
“How about a kiss?” she offered
. “A real kiss. If you win, I’ll kiss you, and if you lose, you’ll have to wait until I’m good and ready.”
“Okay,” Sean said. “A kiss. But it has to be good and long and French and all that. What about second base privileges? Can we toss that in?”
Holly shook her head. “Just the kiss.”
“Right here? In front of everybody?”
“No. Later,” Holly said. “At the end of the night.”
“Aw,” Ben said. “I wanted to see it.”
“It’s got to be right here, right now,” Sean said.
“All right.” Holly rose to the challenge. “Right here.” So she’d have to kiss Sean in front of a bunch of people. If she lost. It was kind of embarrassing but kind of exciting, too.
Quintana returned with a deck of cards and gave them to Sean.
“Okay,” he said, shuffling the deck. “Here we go. Are you ready? Are you ready for this, Holly? Cause if you’re not, if you’re chicken, if you’re going to back out, say so now. I don’t welch on my bets, and I don’t like welchers.”
“I’m ready,” Holly said. “Bring it on.”
Sean held out the deck. “Pick a card, any card.”
Holly reached into the middle of the deck and pulled out a card. She wasn’t sure if she wanted a high card or a low one. In a way, it didn’t matter.
She looked at the card. A five. Not great.
Sean picked a card. “One, two, three, show.” They flipped over their cards at once. Sean had an eight.
“I win!” Sean cried. “You’d better brace yourself for one hell of a kiss, girl.”
“Best two out of three!” Shayna said.
“Oh, no,” Sean said. “I won fair and square.”
“Come on, best two out of three,” Holly said. “For the fun of it.”
“All right,” Sean said. “But I’m only going along with this because I know I’m getting that kiss no matter what.”
He shuffled again, and Holly picked a ten. Sean had a seven. “We’re tied at a game each,” he said. “One more round.”
Holly chose another card. A queen. Almost unbeatable.
Sean chose and showed his hand. An ace. “Ooh, tough loss. But don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit.”
He settled himself in front of her. The crowd around them was quiet. Someone giggled nervously. Even Sean seemed struck by shyness suddenly.
He moved her hair out of the way.
She sat up straight. “I’m waiting….”
“I like to take my time,” Sean said. He shook out his wrists as if getting ready to perform surgery. A few more people laughed.
Holly glanced around at the faces, gleaming in the watery light from the pool. The shadows made it look like a scene from an arty movie. Everyone was watching her and Sean, waiting to see them kiss. It was weird.
“Okay,” Sean said.
“Okay.”
“You ready?”
“Ready.”
“Pucker up now,” Sean said. “But not too tight, because I’m going in for the kill.”
That broke the tension, and everybody laughed. Sean leaned forward and kissed Holly gently on the lips. She closed her eyes. He put his arms around her and pressed harder. She forgot about all the people watching. Then someone snickered, and she remembered them again. Sean flicked his tongue into her mouth but didn’t linger there. She opened her eyes. He pulled away, then gave her one last quick closed-lip kiss.
A few people clapped facetiously. “Way to go, Benedetto,” a guy said.
“I was hoping for a little more skin,” another guy said.
“What did you think?” Sean asked Holly.
“I liked it,” Holly said, very quietly.
“She liked it—hey, Mikey!” Ben yelled.
“Woo-hoo!” More laughter and applause.
Holly suddenly felt as if she were at her own wedding and her groom had just slipped the garter off her leg. What a strange thing to have happen on a first date. But not bad. She was looking forward to the sequel a little later in the evening.
“We’ll pick up where we left off later, in the car,” Sean said. “Without the peanut gallery. Then you’ll see some championship kissing.”
“I’m sure I will,” Holly said. The laser focus of Sean’s attention, and everyone else’s, made her feel calm and glowing, like a queen.
8 Vehicular Manslaughter
* * *
To: mad4u
From: your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: VIRGO: You are entering a period of self-delusion so powerful that when you look in the mirror, you see Angelina Jolie.
* * *
Sean is friends with Ben Dykstra?” Mads asked.
“And he kissed you in front of everybody?”
“Only because I lost the bet,” Holly said.
Mads’ head was reeling. It was Saturday morning and Holly had called to report on her date with Sean, just as Mads had requested. Mads wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t this. She’d been half-hoping to hear that Sean had ignored Holly all night and left without even driving her home. But that was not what happened.
She still couldn’t quite believe that Sean had asked Holly out—and that Holly had agreed to go. Every time she thought about that, a sharp pain flashed through her gut, so she pushed the thought away. It wouldn’t last, she told herself. It would be over soon, and then she could forget about it.
But this—the party, the bet, the TV stars, the kiss—brought the pain in her gut back. And sharpened it. What was that bitter, metallic taste in her mouth?
It should have been me at the party, Mads thought. But she couldn’t say it. Holly was her friend. Mads should be happy for her.
“Then what happened?” Mads forced herself to ask.
“Shayna got pushed into the pool, and everybody went swimming in their clothes. Well, some people were in their underwear. Quintana started that.”
“Are you kidding me? You and Sean and Ben Dykstra went swimming in your underwear? Together?” I should have been there. I want to be there right now.
“It wasn’t as great as it sounds,” Holly said. “The water was really cold, and there weren’t enough towels to dry off with….”
Don’t patronize me. “What kind of underwear does Sean wear?” Mads had to know. If she was going to sit there and politely listen to Holly describe the fulfillment of all Mads’ dreams as if it were about as special as Pizza Day in the cafeteria … she was going to get some dirt out of it.
“Boxer,” Holly said. “Black.”
“Wow.” Sean in his dripping wet underwear. Mads wanted to scream. Why couldn’t she be Holly? Holly was acting so cool, like it was no big deal. Which drove Mads crazy. Keep it together, she told herself.
“So then what happened?”
“Well, the party broke up after a while, and Sean drove me home.”
Mads waited for more, but Holly didn’t volunteer it.
“Yeah?” Mads prompted.
“That’s about it,” Holly said.
“Holly, remember, you promised to tell me every detail,” Mads said. “Did he kiss you?”
Holly was quiet for an awfully long time. That metal taste in Mads’ mouth grew stronger. She reached for a pack of gum.
“He just kissed me good night, that’s all,” Holly said.
Liar.
“God, Holly, it sounds so great,” Mads said. She nearly bit her tongue off in frustration. “So do you like him?”
“He’s okay,” Holly said. “I need more time to get to know him, I guess.”
Oof. That pain again. Right through the gut.
More time. To get to know Sean. What a terrible hardship.
“Are you sure you’re okay with all this?” Holly asked.
“Yes. Sure. Of course.” Mads chomped on her gum. Holly is my friend, she told herself. I can’t be petty. I can’t be selfish. I have Stephen.
And she has Sean.
But I have Stephen. And he’s a great
guy.
But he wasn’t Sean.
Why was Holly even asking if it was okay? She knew it wasn’t. She should have known, anyway.
If she was my friend—really my friend—she’d know how much this is killing me.
“Are you going out with him again?” Mads asked.
“Yeah, to the movies, next weekend,” Holly said. “He wants to see that snowboarding movie. I said I’d go.”
“Oh. Sounds like fun.” Mads was seething with jealousy. Don’t let her hear it, Mads told herself. Keep it out of your voice.
“I’ll give you the full report,” Holly said. “But it probably won’t be very exciting. Just a movie about a bunch of guys bumming around in the snow.”
“Yeah, you’ll be bored stiff,” Mads said. “And I mean b-o-a-r-d stiff. Ha-ha.” See how cool I am? I can still make a joke while my heart is cracking in half.
“Good one, Mads,” Holly said. “Call me later.” “I will.”
Mads hung up the phone. Then she buried her head in her pillow and screamed.
“Okay, Madison, one more time.” Mitchell’s mustache, adorned with a small dot of mustard, twitched in frustration. It was a slight twitch, but Mads caught it. The feelings of her car-mates were expressed less subtly.
“O-o-h-h-h,” Autumn sighed. “Mads, why do you have to be such a total lame-o?”
“Really, it feels like we’ve been practicing parallel parking forever,” Siobhan said. “You’re always the last one to catch on.”
“She’ll get it,” Martin said. “She mastered the three-point turn, didn’t she?”
“It took her the whole lesson,” Autumn said. “The rest of us never even got a chance to try it.”
“And when we finally did, at the next lesson, it took us each about two seconds to figure it out,” Siobhan said. “Except for Mads.”
It was true. Mads was not a natural driver. Especially with people watching her. Any people. It made her nervous. And when she was nervous, she always screwed up.
On top of that, she felt shaky. All the time. If she let her mind wander for a second, a terrible image popped in. Holly and Sean, kissing. She pushed it away, but it kept coming back. She had to guard against it at all times. It made concentration difficult.
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