While he was getting his tattoo, I tried my best not to stare. Right now, all I do is stare. Stare, stare, stare forever. He’s not ripped like a jock or sculpted like a model. He’s lean and toned and has a few scars on his skin. He’s the most perfect thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, and it almost makes me cry that he’s mine.
“You’re so beautiful.” I gently place my hands on his chest and his skin feels warm against my palms.
He shivers from my touch. “I want to feel you, too”—he takes a few shallow breaths—“against me.”
I want to ask him if he can handle that, but I don’t think he’d ask if he didn’t actually want to. And I want to, too. So, so much, I can hardly stand it.
I step back and shut the door. Then I head back across the room toward him, lifting my shirt over my head.
His grey eyes soak me in as I fumble with the clasp of my bra. Once unfastened, I lower the straps from my shoulders and toss it on the floor. Then I turn to his iPod on the dresser, scroll to my playlist, and select “Youth” by Daughter.
“This seems like the kind of moment that needs a song,” I explain when he gives me a puzzled look.
As I climb up on his lap and put a leg on either side of him, he struggles to breathe evenly, and my heart slams against my chest. He’s nervous. I’m nervous. This isn’t a big deal just for him. I’ve never been this far with a guy before, and I’m glad Ayden is my first. Glad I get to experience a lot of my firsts with him.
He smooths his hands over my sides as I loop my arms around his neck and press my chest against his. The skin-to-skin contact is better than I could have ever imagined in my crazy, imaginative mind.
He’s warm enough to thaw a thousand icebergs,
Liquefy the world into water,
Melt the coldest of hearts,
Chip away at frigid souls.
He gasps as I clutch onto him. Then he slips his arms around me, presses me closer, and buries his head in the crook of my neck, kissing my hammering pulse.
A few tears land on my shoulder as he starts to cry.
“I love you,” I whisper just loud enough for him to hear.
He doesn’t say it back, but he embraces me with everything he has in him, and I know it’s his silent way of saying it back.
SATURDAY NIGHT MIGHT HAVE BEEN one of the most amazing nights I’ve ever had. Spending the night with Lyric in my arms, simply holding each other with our bodies connected, surpassed every good experience. She said I love you again, and I almost said it back.
The words burned on the tip of my tongue,
Scorching metal,
Ready to brand our souls
Forever.
I didn’t quite make it there, but I’m not too upset with myself. In fact, I’m probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time.
All that changes Monday morning when I open the car door to go to school. In the center of the driver’s seat is a piece of paper wrapped by a faded pink ribbon.
Knife
Hair
Sadie
Sacrifice.
It’s time we finally talked, Ayden. Meet us as the Golden Center Docks tonight at 10:00 if you ever want to see you sister again. And make sure to come alone.
“Sadie,” I whisper, my hand trembling as I tumble into a memory.
“Ayden, help me!” she cries through the darkness.
I can’t see her anywhere.
Where is she? Where is she? Where is she?
I search the darkness and see a woman with blood red hair.
Red hair, like blood.
Then I see Sadie chained to a wall, her pink ribbon stained with drops of blood.
“We’re always watching you.”
I blink from the memory, my body quivering as I jerk my hand back. I can’t touch it, not when there might be fingerprints.
My gaze skims the neighborhood, searching for a face I can’t remember. Since it’s early May, the neighborhood is buzzing with the summer air, and people seem to be everywhere. Short, tall, thin, heavy, a guy with blonde hair, a woman with red hair, and it feels as if they’re all watching me.
Blood, blood, blood everywhere.
Red nails.
Red hair.
Blood, blood, blood.
I run up the driveway to the house, throw open the back door, and stumble into the kitchen.
“Ayden.” Lila’s head snaps up from her breakfast, and her eyes widen as she shoves the chair back from the table. “Oh, my God, what happened?”
“A letter,” I barely get the words out as I point at the back door. “There’s a letter on the seat of the car.”
Ethan is storming for the back door in less time than it takes me to suck in my next breath. “Stay here,” he warns as he rushes outside, slamming the door behind him.
Lila hurries over around the table to me as I sink down in a chair.
“The note . . .” I lower my head into my hands, guilt crushing my chest. “It had my sister’s hair ribbon on it . . . It had to be hers.”
Lila kneels down in front of me and folds her arms around me. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Five minutes ago, I would have agreed with her.
“No, it’s not,” I croak. “The note said that, if I want to see my sister again, I have to meet them at the Golden Center Docks tonight.”
“Don’t worry. That’s not going to happen.” Lila hugs me tightly until Ethan comes back in.
She stands up, and the two of them exchange a hushed conversation in the doorway. After they’re done with their discussion, Ethan rushes upstairs while Lila ducks into the living room to make a phone call.
When she returns to the kitchen, she sits down in the chair beside me.
“Ethan’s going to get everyone off to school before the police show up,” she tells me. “Detective Rannali is going to come here and collect the note, search the area, and dust for prints. He wants you to be here to ask you some questions, though.”
I nod, balling my hands into fists underneath the table, wishing I could go back to Saturday night and have Lyric hold me again.
“I wish the detective was still watching the house. It’s like they were waiting for them to leave to make their next more.” When I say it aloud, I realize how true that might be.
“You should text Lyric and tell her she’ll need to find a ride,” Lila says, watching me like a hawk, as if she expects me to crack apart like I used to. “Ayden, everything’s going to be okay. We’re going to take care of this.”
I want to break apart, shatter into pieces, but I’m stronger than that. I can feel the strength where the fresh ink stains my flesh and in the lingering memories of Lyric’s lips against mine and the feel of our flesh touching.
Strong.
Strong.
Strong.
I dig my phone out of my pocket and send Lyric a text.
Me: I can’t take u to school this morning. Something came up. Sorry.
Lyric: Everything okay?
Me: I’ll talk to u at school, okay?
Lyric: Okay.
I know she’s probably worried now, but I don’t want to give the details of what happened via text.
I put the phone away then spend an hour waiting for the police to show up and another hour after that for them to dust for prints. The entire time, I’m trying to figure out what to do about the note. As risky as it is, I think I need to do what they requested and meet them. Am I terrified out of my goddamn mind? Yes. Will I hate myself if I don’t do it? Yes. The biggest problem is going to be convincing Lila to let me go.
After the police are finished dusting for prints and the letter is bagged, Detective Rannali sits down in the living room with Lila and me to ask me some questions—if I’ve seen anything suspicious, if I know why they sent me the letter.
When he’s finished, I have a few questions for him about Sadie and the case. Call it a last resort to the inevitable—that I’m going to have to meet those people at the dock.
“Wh
at about those pictures on the website?” I ask. “Have you looked into those? It seems like someone could find them if they went looking for them.”
“We’ve done some research into that, but all the places have yet to be tracked down.” He clicks his pen and presses it to a notepad he fishes from his suit jacket pocket. “And, Ayden, let me stress that you searching for those places is not an option. We believe that was what your brother was doing right before he was murdered. We’ve had some witnesses give us statements that he was on some sort of mission to find his sister.”
“How did he even know she was taken?” I wonder, taken aback.
He went looking for her? Risked everything to find her?
“I think the two of them somehow managed to remain in contact. We pulled your brother’s phone records, and Sadie sent him a text a few days before she was taken.”
Sadie and her bad feelings. She was always having them and was usually right. She had a bad feeling the day we were taken, warning us that something bad was about to happen.
Sadie.
Sadie.
Sadie.
I’m going to help.
Please, just hold on.
“We’re still investigating into it more.” He writes something down then glances at Lila. “I have to ask about the amnesia therapy. How has it been coming along? The last update we received was quite a while ago.”
“That’s because he stopped the therapy,” Lila replies curtly, folding her arms. “We didn’t see the need for him to keep doing it when there wasn’t any progress.”
“As of now, that therapy might be the only thing that will help us identify the perpetrators.” He seems irked. “I wish you would have informed us that he’d stopped it.”
“What about what the note said?” I intervene. “Are we going to talk about that?”
His irritation lessens, as if he were waiting for me to bring it up. “I was planning on mentioning it, yes. I want to know how you feel about it.”
“He’s not going to meet those people anywhere,” Lila snaps. “I’m not going to let him.”
“I’m eighteen,” I mutter, knowing I’m going to upset her and loathing myself for having to do it.
In the end, this is about saving Sadie.
Lila narrows her eyes at me. “I don’t give a shit how old you are. You’re my son, and you’ll do what you’re told.”
“Living a life where I could be kidnapped is just as risky,” I point out. “I need to do this. Maybe, if I do, it’ll lead us to Sadie.”
Lila tears up. “I can’t let you risk your safety like that. If you go there . . . alone . . .” She shakes her head. “No, I won’t let you do it. I can’t lose you.”
“He wouldn’t be alone,” the detective chimes in. “We would have officers around the area. The Golden Center Docks couldn’t be a more perfect area for this. There are trees and plenty of other places to hide. Plus, it’s secluded from the city.”
Lila glares at him. “I’m not letting you use him as bait.”
“I’m not being used as bait,” I insist. “I need to go there for my own sake. Do you know how bad it would eat away at me . . . ? How bad it does eat away at me that I can’t save her? She’s there, and I’m here. She’s suffering, and I’m not.”
“Ayden, I . . .” She has no clue what to say to the truth of my words.
“Besides, if we do this, it could lead to some arrests and maybe put an end to this,” I press. “I—we—could all finally have a fucking normal life.”
It might be the biggest and longest speech I’ve ever made, and there’s definitely a shock factor to it.
Lila sniffs back tears. “I just want you to live the life you deserve without all this pain.”
“Then let me do this for myself. For my sister.” I shut my eyes and take a deep breath. “For my brother.”
When the room grows quiet, I open my eyes.
She’s staring out the window, her eyelashes fluttering against the tears. Detective Rannali catches my gaze and gives me an encouraging look. I don’t give a shit about him, though. I’m not doing it for him. I’m doing it for my sister and myself. And for my brother.
“I want assurance that no harm will come to him.” She looks over at the detective. “I won’t agree to this unless you can give me that.”
He nods. “Of course.” He tucks the pen and notepad into his pocket. “We’re not going to put your son at risk. We’ll do this safely, and if anything looks suspicious, then we’ll pull him out.”
Lila’s gaze lands on me. “You have to promise me the same thing. If at any time something seems wrong, you’ll leave.”
I nod, some of the tension alleviating in my chest, but it’s replaced by fear.
Am I really going to do this? See them again? The people who stole my life from me?
Her gaze elevates to the ceiling as she dabs her eyes. “I hope I don’t regret this,” she mutters. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”
Even though I’m not the touchy feely type, it seems like the kind of moment where I should give her a hug, so I wrap an arm around her and give her a pat on the back.
“Thank you . . . and not just for this. For taking me in and making sure that I didn’t . . . well, you know.”
I’m not sure if she knows just how much I appreciate what they’ve done for me. Maybe, if my brother and sister could have found this, things would have turned out differently for them. Maybe, if tonight goes well, my sister can still have this in time.
“Oh, Ayden.” She pulls me against her, crushing my chest.
Usually, I squirm, but I decide to let her have a moment. Truthfully, I kind of need one, too. Even though I’m strong, I’m still terrified out of my goddamn mind that something will go wrong. Unlike a couple of years ago, I have a lot to lose.
My family.
My music.
A career in music, even.
Most importantly, Lyric. I don’t even know if I could function without her, not with how close we’ve gotten.
She holds me up when I’m falling,
Stills me when I’m tumbling,
Calms me when I’m cracking,
Gives me air when I’m suffocating.
Lyric, she somehow takes the pain away
When everything is crushing down on me.
How I ever lived without her, I have no idea.
The problem is, I’m worried how she’s going to react when I tell her what I’m going to do. She flipped out when I told her about the photos. Maybe I should keep this to myself for now.
After the detective leaves to go get his team prepped for tonight, I stay home with Lila and help her clean the house. Scrubbing down the counters and the floors distracts us from the massive cloud hovering above us.
Finally, after the kitchen and living room are sparkling, we sit down at the table to eat some sandwiches.
“I don’t want to tell Lyric what I’m doing tonight,” I tell her, picking the crust off the bread. “She’ll worry about me, and I don’t . . .” I swallow hard. “I don’t want her to have to go through that.”
Lila nods, picking at her food. “I think we should probably keep it from Fiona, Kale, and Everson, too . . .” She shuts her mouth and stares down at the plate. “Ayden, are you sure you want to do this? The police, they’ll keep looking for her. They’re not going to give up.”
“I know they’re not going to, but how am I supposed to live with myself if I don’t go?”
“This might not go as you plan. You know that, right?”
I nod, sucking in a deep breath. “I know that, but it’s worth the risk.”
She nods, still staring at her food.
A silence sets in like an ominous doom.
I LEAVE THE HOUSE BEFORE Lyric gets home and drive around town with Lila while she runs some errands. I know, if I see Lyric, then there’s a chance I’ll break down and tell her everything, so it’s a good thing we take off before that can happen. Still, when she sends me a text,
I feel like the world’s biggest asshole for lying to her.
Lyric: All right, dude, why weren’t you at school? What’s going on?
Me: Nothing. I didn’t feel well, so I stayed home.
Lyric: Why aren’t you home now?
Me: Lila took me to the doctor.
Lyric: Is everything all right? Now u have me worried.
Me: Everything’s fine. I just have a cold.
There’s a pause before the next message buzzes through.
Lyric: R u sure that’s all that’s going on? U seem like you’re being a little vague and sketchy.
Me: I swear everything’s fine. If I’m feeling better by the time I get home, u can come over.
Lyric: Okay.
Her one word response means she’s more than likely buying my bullshit. I just hope she isn’t too angry when I do go home and have to explain everything to her.
After we finish running errands, Lila drives me to an old diner located near the Golden Center Bridge to meet with Detective Rannali so he can give me a rundown on how the night will go down. He already gave us strict orders to make sure we aren’t followed by anyone when we go, and during the thirty-minute drive, Lila is a nervous wreck, constantly checking the rearview mirror, changing lanes, and taking the longest route possible.
By the time we pull up, it’s late enough that the sun has set, and the city around us glows against the night. Only an hour left, and then I’ll be standing on the dock, facing the people who haunt my nightmares.
Or will I?
Now that I think about it, I can’t remember any of their faces nor have I seen any of the people who have been tormenting my life for the last few months. What will happen when I finally see them? Will I know them? Will I remember that I know them? According to some of the stuff the detective has told me, the Soulless Mileas are a decent sized group of people.
“How are you feeling?” Lila asks after she parks the car in front of the diner.
“Fine,” I lie, unbuckling my seatbelt. When she presses me with a stern look, I sigh. “Fine. I’m terrified out of my goddamn mind.”
“You can always not do it,” she says with hope in her eyes. “No one will be upset if you back out.”
Unraveling You Series: The Complete Set Page 41
