by Aja Cole
I can’t get a straight answer about what caused the pipe to burst, and it’s clear that something wasn’t done the way it should’ve been, or else they wouldn’t be so dodgy about it.
“So, we’re looking at three weeks minimum. I can’t say exactly when things will be finished, but they’re gonna get started as soon as possible.” Matt, the manager tells me. “Again, we’re completely willing to do what we can to make your next steps as easy as possible.”
Except tell me the truth, but I’m not even going to get into that right now.
But shit, now I’m hesitant about even moving into another unit. What if something happens in the middle of the night? Or I have to go on bed-rest and I’m alone? What if takes them weeks to get everything back to where it should be, and I’m still in the temporary unit when the baby comes? I don’t want to go to the effort of decorating or anything like that, only to have to move again with a baby in tow.
I do have renter’s insurance, but there’s no telling how long I’ll need to be somewhere else.
I could kick a wall right now out of frustration, but it’d probably crumble around my foot.
“Can you give me a second?”
“Sure, I’ll just go to talk to the other tenants. Holler if you need me.” He walks away, and I can hear him give his same spiel to my neighbors.
Listening to the phone ring, I cross my fingers that Chris isn’t still asleep.
“Didn’t I just see you last night?” He mumbles, clearly just waking up.
“Yes, but I need your wonderful big brother-ness right now.”
“What’s up?”
“Do you still have that storage unit?”
The U-Haul pulls into the complex and I can’t help smiling.
Man, my family is the best. I wouldn’t trade them for the wo—
“What the hell are you doing here?”
Through the window of the U-Haul, I can see that there’s a certain man I purposefully avoided this morning in the driver’s seat. I didn’t notice it before, but my brothers’ silver BMW was driving behind him, and another car.
“That’s no way to greet the help, little sis.” My brother says, walking up and throwing an arm around my shoulders. “Thought your baby daddy should help out too.”
I shrug off his arm, irritated. “I didn’t call him, I called you.”
“And I called him, and he called them.” Chris isn’t phased one bit, nodding to the other two guys sauntering up. I don’t know their faces, but something tells me that they’re athletes too. I don’t know, it’s just their whole demeanor reminds me way too much of Jackson.
“Hey there, I’m Dylan.” The first dark blonde one with soft green eyes says.
“And I’m Zeke,” The other, more pretty boy one says, this one with brilliant blue eyes that seem almost too vivid to be real. Both of them are tall and well-built, and both of them have wedding rings on.
I shake both of their hands, wary of Jackson but never one to be rude. “Nice to meet y’all. Thanks for coming to help, you really didn’t have to.”
Jackson walks up at the tail end of my words, watching me with guarded eyes. I don’t know why he’s the one who looks cautious, since I didn’t invite him and I didn’t leave him hanging last night with raging hormones.
“They didn’t come out of nobility, they came to be nosy.”
“Aw, now why you gotta talk bad about us like that, buddy?” Dylan grins, crossing his arms.
“I just had to meet the woman who had my friend here tied up in knots for weeks.” Zeke shrugs, “Sue me. And to find out that it’s Chris’ sister, no less. What a coincidence.”
“Shut up.” Jackson rumbles, lips twisting into a grimace.
“Yeah, no one was more surprised than me.” Chris grunts, turning on his heel. “Now can we get started? I’ve got a date tonight.”
“When don’t you have a date?” Dylan questions, throwing a wink at me.
If I hadn’t seen the ring on his finger, I might be flustered right now from just that.
“Do the rest of the guys on the team look like y’all too?” I interrupt before Chris can answer, falling into step with Zeke and Dylan, with Jackson taking up the rear behind his while Chris leads the way to my apartment.
“You lookin’ for a date, too?” Zeke asks, curiosity on his face.
“No. She’s not. Certainly not with any asshats from the team.” Jackson barks, and I press my lips together, warring between being annoyed and amused.
“Hey, we’re part of those asshats from the team.” Dylan fires back, “And if Nomi need someone to be her wingman, I’ll gladly donate myself to the role.”
“Yeah, I’m sure guys will be lining up to date the pregnant girl.” I snort.
“One as pretty at you? I think you’ll be fine.” Zeke smiles, reaching for the door before I can, but Jackson snatches back the collars of both men before he can open it.
“I’m gonna have a chat with these two, we’ll meet you and Chris upstairs.” Jackson growls, and I look between them.
I raise an eyebrow, “You better not make them leave, I like them more than I like you right now.”
His jaw tightens and I swear his chest starts rumbling.
Satisfied that I’ve gotten in a good parting shot, I open the door and go to meet Chris and get started on figuring out what needs to go where.
“How did you meet Jackson anyway?”
We’re putting stuff in plastic bags and boxes in my closet, while the other guys start clearing out my living room and kitchen. I actually don’t even have that much stuff since I was just settling in which is a small blessing.
“You keep reminding me that talking isn’t what you two were up to in California.” My brother sighs, passing me a stack of shirts to put in a box.
“We did talk!”
“Not enough, clearly.”
Standing up and propping my hands on my hips, I stare at him. “Do you have anything else you need to get off your chest? Because this all feels very passive aggressive and I’d like it to stop.”
“What do you want me to say? Don’t sleep with my good friend? Don’t rebound after leaving your husband? Don’t get pregnant? It’s too late for all of that, Nomi, and you didn’t listen to me anyway.” He looks at me and I can’t really read him, but he seems genuinely upset. “Now look at you, pregnant and not even dating the man. I just wish you’d made better decisions, like you were raised to.”
I don’t think my eyes will open any wider.
“I’m sorry, it must be my fault that my IUD wasn’t nearly as foolproof as I thought. Clearly, I was trying to get knocked up in the middle of a divorce. God forbid accidents happening.”
“Wouldn’t have been a problem if you’d made him use protection. I could’ve stayed blissfully ignorant on anything happening. Or maybe…not slept with him at all.”
“Are you slut-shaming me right now? Is that what’s happening?” I can feel my temper rising, and when I get mad, I get emotional and the last thing I want to do is start crying.
Chris looks away, a deep sigh leaving his throat. “You can’t keep just doing whatever you want to do and not thinking about the consequences, Nomi. I just want you to get that through your head. It’s not just about you anymore.”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m the one carrying around a living thing in my body, and you want to tell me that I’m what, selfish?”
“Hard-headed, impulsive, and yeah, sometimes, you are selfish. And that has to stop with a kid. I don’t even know if you’re ready for this.”
And just like that, all the wind flies right out of my sails.
I lift my chin, trying my hardest to keep my voice steady. “You don’t think I’ll be a good mom.”
I don’t think anything’s ever hurt as much as this moment. It’s one thing to think it about myself, to be scared about it…but to have my brother, someone I’ve always looked up to, basically say that he doesn’t believe in me…
It gut
s me.
He doesn’t answer, and I take it as my answer.
Pulling it together with everything in me, I move towards the bathroom, unable to look at him.
“It doesn’t matter where things go in here. I’ll sort through it at some point.”
“Nom—”
I put up a hand. “Please, don’t. I think you’ve said everything that needs to be said.”
Walking away and out to the living room, I head for the small balcony, slipping outside into the cool air to sit on the lone chair sitting out here.
I pull my legs up into the seat, narrowly fitting them into my sweatshirt with my belly. Resting my chin on my knees, I let the hot tears roll down my cheeks and don’t swipe them away.
Feel it, release it, let it go.
It’s what’s gotten me through all the times when it feels like I’m bursting from the inside. People have always asked how I get over things so quickly, or how I can just move on to the next thing…and I don’t really know. I just know that aside from this thing with Jackson, I’ve always just let myself feel what I feel and worried about the rest later. It’s not that I don’t care about what could happen, I just never got into being someone who made decisions on what if’s. All the angles will cross my mind, but ultimately…I go with my gut and the chance to just see what happens.
Is that bad? Would my life look entirely different right now if I was a lot more cautious? Maybe I’d have realized that Vaughn was full of shit if I’d considered all of the outcomes. Maybe I wouldn’t have slept with Jackson if I thought more about how Chris would feel about it. Maybe I wouldn’t have made my family sick with worry that time I took a bus by myself to see the band I’d won tickets for, and my phone died on the way.
Maybe all the times that I stressed out the people who love me could’ve been avoided if I wasn’t so immature.
24 isn’t old, but it’s not young either.
I’ve always been better at being book smart than life smart.
Am I really ready to raise a child?
Was it selfish to not…end the pregnancy? Knowing what I knew then? Knowing everything that I don’t know now?
A fresh wave of tears comes and I wipe my face against the fabric at my knees, biting back a sob.
What if I’ve made the wrong choice? What if I’m not what’s right for this baby, no matter how much I want her?
“Hey, we’re rea— you okay?” Jackson asks behind me, and when I hear the door slide shut, I assume that he’s gone back inside when I don’t answer.
But then he comes around in front of me, crouching so he’s closer to my level and can see my face. Gripping my chin gently, he lifts my face so he can see it, narrowing his eyes when he sees the tears.
“What’s going on, Nomi?”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I move to turn my face, but he doesn’t let me. I glare at him, which has to look ridiculous because I can feel how puffy my eyes are.
“Too bad, because I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”
I blow out a long breath, “Why do you care?”
“Because despite whatever you think of me, I’m not a total asshole.”
“I couldn’t tell.”
“If this is about last night, then use your words. Hell, you could’ve talked to me before you ran off this morning.”
“There was nothing to talk about.”
“Oh yeah? Not even what you said to me in that shower?”
“Nope.”
“You’re a bad liar.”
“Yeah, add that to the list.”
“What list?”
“Of things I’m bad at.” I push my hands out of my sweatshirt and drop my legs to the ground.
“I didn’t promise you anything last night because I don’t know what’s gonna happen here. Didn’t realize you’d think I wasn’t interested at all.”
“You find me crying and just immediately assume it’s about you not wanting me? Very self-centered if you ask me.” I try to sidestep him when he stands up, but of course, that would be too easy. Hooking a finger at the waistband of my own sweats that I changed into, he halts me moving.
“You’ll have to drop your walls at some point with me if you want this to get anywhere.”
“Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black.”
“I know I’ve got shit to work out. But I’m willing to try, if you are.”
“I don’t need you to give me a pity-chance,” I snipe, “You weren’t interested last night, so keep that same energy today.”
The bastard actually rolls his eyes at me, and before I can move out of the way, he’s settled big hands on my waist and pulled me close between his legs where he’s leaning on the railing. One hand stays on my waist and the other moves up to grip the back of my neck, his message subtle but clear.
I’m not going anywhere without a scene until he’s good and ready for me to go.
“Were you this stubborn before or is all this attitude new?”
I ignore the tingling where his skin meets mine. “You spent a few days with me. That doesn’t mean we know each other.”
Jackson’s hazel eyes roam across my features like he’s looking for something. It makes me fidget, him just staring at me and not saying anything.
“What?” I snap.
“Give me the next six months.” He finally says, gaze burning into mine. “You need somewhere to stay, and I need to get my place ready for a baby anyway. Stay the rest of the pregnancy, and it’ll be easier fr both of us if we’re in the same place after she’s born. You get some help, and I get to spend time with her. Outside of that, it’ll give us time to get to know each other and decide what we want to do. It would be foolish for both of us to promise forever right now…but that doesn’t mean we won’t get there if we put the time in.”
That…wasn’t what I was expecting at all, and I don’t even know what to say.
Scratch that, I know what my first instinctive answer is but I’m fresh off being called irresponsible and impulsive, so I keep my mouth shut.
“I—”
“Yo, let’s get this show on the road.” Chris’ voice finds us and I stiffen, uncertainty and hurt filtering back in. What’s the best thing to do?
Jackson presses a kiss to my forehead before he releases me. “Think about it. No pressure.”
Except, all I feel right now is pressure and I don’t know how much longer I can hold up.
25
“Nomi, ride with me so we can talk.” Chris commands more than asks, and I pass another small box to Dylan, who slides it into the back of the truck.
“No, thank you.”
“Come on, we have to talk about it.”
“No, we really don’t. And since there’s nothing in your car, I think we’ve got it from here. Thanks.”
“Where are you gonna stay?”
“Gonna shack up with my baby daddy like the irresponsible heathen I am, of course.”
Dead silence falls and Chris presses his lips together, turning to stalk to his car without another word. Zeke comes up beside me, looking to where Chris walked off.
“What was that about?”
“Chris doesn’t approve of my decision making, and he made sure I knew it today. But it’s whatever, everything good?”
He looks like he wants to press for more information, but in the end, he just nods. “Yeah, all good.”
“Cool.” I jerk open the passenger door of the truck, and he makes sure I get up okay before closing it behind me. “Guess we’ll see y’all at Jackson’s.”
He taps the door twice in acknowledgement then jogs away, closing the back with Jackson before he and Dylan head towards the car they came in. Jackson hops into the driver’s side and starts up the truck. “Where to?”
“Your place, if that’s still okay.”
“I didn’t change my mind in half an hour,” He teases, turning the wheel.
I relax a little. Hadn’t realized that I was worried until he said th
at. “You might wish you had.”
I plop onto the couch after everything has been taken off the truck and the guys’ car, kicking my feet up and resting my eyes. It’s not like I did most of the work, but I’m still tired. Fairly certain I’ll need to run to the bathroom any second now, so I need to get off my feet for a few minutes while I can. I peep one eye open when I feel a presence above me, but the coconut and sandalwood smell tells me it’s Jackson before I see him.
“You mind if some of the guys come over for dinner? If you’re too tired, I’ll tell them we’ll do it another night.”
“Ordering?”
“Yep, probably Italian or maybe just pizzas. Make it easy.”
“Just the guys?”
“Well, the guys and their wives, a couple kids.”
I perk up, because I haven’t had much of a chance to be around many kids. My friends don’t have any yet and they’re spread out in geography, and I haven’t hung out with my co-workers families yet. “Kids? How old?”
“Well, Dylan and Shayla have an almost two year old girl. Lachlan and Karina’s baby boy will be 1 in January and their other son is almost five, and Zeke and Mina’s baby girl just turned one in September. I don’t know if Ben and Whit can make it, but if they do, they have a three year old girl and just adopted a newborn. Then a few just dating, no kids.”
I blink up at him. “How does a guy who’s childfree have so many good friends with kids?”
“I wasn’t child-free, I just…was never in a place where I actively wanted kids.” He corrects me, “And you get close to your teammates, whether you want to or not. Lucky for me, they’re family.”
“Do all of them know?”
“By now, probably.”
I sit up more, watching him carefully. “Are they friendly? The women? Be honest.”
“I’m betting you’ll get along too well and then you’ll have back-up to gang up on me.”
I scoff, “Like I need any help.”
“Touché. I’ll let the guys know. Go grab a nap, I’ll wake you up before everyone gets here. Any preferences on food?”
