I sat on the edge of the desk and shook my head. “I’m more interested in falling into her heart, Ange. I’m tired of unfulfilling sex with women who mean nothing to me. When I was with her,” I paused and shook my head, my fist at my chest. “I don’t know, but it was different.”
She patted my shoulder and then walked to the door before she stopped again with her hand on the doorknob. “That’s called love, Hayes. You’re in love. Deal with it, then go get it.”
She gave me a finger gun and disappeared out of my office. I ran my hands down my face, the idea of seeing Mercy again burning a hole of longing and desire in my belly. I wanted her, more than I’d ever wanted anyone in my life. She could be my life, but she could also destroy my heart. For those reasons, I’d stayed away all these months.
I blew out a breath and pushed myself off the desk. I grabbed a red folder, the papers inside a prized possession to me, and locked them in my briefcase before I shrugged into my suitcoat. I had one more stop to make, then I was either going to get the girl or get the boot.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
MERCY
I leaned on the sink and stared into the mirror. I looked tired. I was tired. It didn’t matter, though. I had to keep going. I had work to do. I had a business to run. I didn’t need a man to do this. I could do it on my own just like I’d done the last four years. I finished my pep talk just as the bathroom door opened.
“Oh, hey, Mercy,” another woman said, patting my arm. “Long time no see.”
I smiled, happy to see a friendly face. “It’s been a long winter and I haven’t been to town much. How have you been, Tami?”
“Good,” she answered, checking out her hair in the mirror. “The motel has been hopping with ice fishermen. I suppose that’s about to end, though.”
I leaned on the sink but made sure Justice was tucked behind my back. I found it was easy to fall back into the old habit once Hayes was gone. “It’s only the end of February. I think there will be plenty of fishing left. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking that they’ll all go home soon.”
She burst out laughing, her head nodding in agreement. “I tell you what, they can’t go home soon enough. I don’t know how you deal with it. I swear to God,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “The other day I walked into a room and the guy had the bathtub full of ice and was keeping fish cold in it! Like, why? It was cold enough outside he could have left them in the truck.”
“That is an odd one,” I agreed, laughing with her. “I’m grateful for my regulars. We know each other, but more than that, they know my rules and how I like things done. You’ll never hear me complain about not getting new business when my regulars keep me busy all year round.”
She patted my shoulder and shook her head. “Consider yourself blessed. Well, I better use the facilities and head back to my shopping. I have a new guest checking in tonight and I need to make sure his room is ready. He’s a real big wig. I haven’t the faintest idea why he’s staying at the motel, to be completely honest. It doesn’t seem like his type of place.”
“Who is it?” I asked, curiously. “Maybe everything else is booked?”
“I guess we are the only show in town. His name is H. Rutherford.” She lowered her voice as my breathing ceased. “I can’t say for certain, but I think it’s the same guy that was in the news a few months ago for killing his brother-in-law.”
I swallowed quickly and my cheeks flamed warm. “Probably a coincidence,” I squeaked and edged toward the bathroom door. “Good luck and have a good day, Tami,” I called to her, waving.
I yanked the door open and stepped back into the store, my hand grasping my shopping cart.
H. Rutherford was coming to town.
I finished checking out and loaded the bags into the car, but it wasn’t until I had climbed in and flipped on the heater that I let the tears fall.
It wasn’t a coincidence. H. Rutherford was coming to town. That could only mean one thing.
He was about to discover my secret.
Hayes
The camp looked exactly the same as I remembered it, except for a few more feet of snow. There were several cars parked in the lot, which told me the camp was busy again with fishermen. I, however, was not here to fish. Then again, maybe I was.
Fishing to see if she was going to forgive me for staying gone so long.
Fishing to see if she missed me as much as I missed her.
Fishing to see if she feels the same way about me that I feel about her.
I let the engine run and eyed the dashboard clock. It was a little before four and the sun was starting to set. I glanced over at the bags on the seat and had a decision to make. I didn’t trust leaving the briefcase in the car, so I’d have to take it in with me. The other bag was nothing more than a way to convince her to let me stay, so that had to go in, too. A little voice told me to leave my suitcase in the car and not assume anything. There was no question that little voice was right.
I shut off the engine and climbed out of the car, the air biting and cold in the waning sun. I took a deep breath of the fresh air and sighed. It had been two months since I’d taken a breath that deep. There was something different about this air versus the air in the city. It was cleaner, crisper, and more fragrant than the city.
I strode toward the cabins, praying the store was still open, so I didn’t have to risk her not letting me in. I gave it a fifty-fifty chance that I’d get punched, but it would be worth the black eye or broken nose to see her again. The camp came into view and I paused, taking another breath of air to steady my nerves. I was out of my element for the first time in recent memory. I was Hayes Rutherford the Fourth. I didn’t have to grovel for a woman’s attention. I was the one who did the dumping. That was just how it was, but not this time. This time, I was at the mercy of a woman who could choose to show me some, or the door.
A man was standing by the equipment shed when I approached. When he stepped out, his spine was ramrod straight and his defenses were up. “You’re back.”
Two words. They were filled with disdain.
“Mr. Boling,” I greeted him. “I had a personal situation to deal with.”
He grunted and took in the bag and briefcase. “Staying, are ya?”
I held up the bag. “Dinner.” I held up the briefcase. “Something I’m hoping Mercy will look at with me. Is she around?”
“She’s not here right now. She ran into town. Against my better judgment, I’ll let you into the store to wait. Only because I don’t want your death on my conscience when you freeze to death wearing those ridiculous shoes out here in ten below temps.”
I glanced down at my footwear and grinned sheepishly. “I wasn’t expecting to be standing here when I got dressed this morning.”
“I’m sure you weren’t, considering you’ve been MIA for months.”
“I understand you’re protecting Mercy, sir, but I think she’s old enough to make her own decisions.”
He rocked back on his heels. “She is, but that girl hasn’t been the same since you came around here the last time. You hurt her again and I’ll make sure you never see the light of day. Do we understand each other?”
I nodded once. “Understood.”
He spun on his heel and tromped to the store, unlocked it, and motioned me in. Without another word he turned, closed the door, and walked away, leaving me to wait for my future to come to me.
Mercy
The drive into camp was eerie. The whole of the property was holding its collective breath while it waited for me to arrive. H. Rutherford was already here. A new, red, sporty SUV sat in the parking lot and I slowed long enough to take it in. He picked another Mercedes, of course, he was nothing if not predictable there. At least it was an SUV. I swallowed around a lump in my throat. It wasn’t his choice in cars that had me nervous. It was the fact that he was here somewhere. He was back on my turf. He was in my camp and I had to go on the defensive. There were still secrets between us I wasn’t ready to share with him
. Hell, I didn’t know how to share them. I hadn’t convinced myself they were even real. If I knew anything about life it was this — there are rule breakers and there are deal breakers. My secrets were both.
Heartburn filled my mouth with bile when I parked my SUV by the shed. Nothing moved on the cold, barren landscape as my eyes darted around the space in search of him. He was nowhere to be seen and I let out the breath I’d been holding since Tami mentioned his name.
He’s here somewhere, Mercy. He’s waiting for you. Go find him.
That voice again. The one that never shut up. While it was far less destructive than having my mother in my head, the voice still said things that were hard to hear.
That’s because the truth hurts sometimes, Mercy.
“Shut up already!” I growled angrily and grabbed a bag of groceries from the SUV. I hightailed it up the stairs to the store, knowing I would need to make several trips considering how many supplies I picked up in town. The fact that I only had one arm turned three trips back and forth in the cold into six trips, but I wouldn’t complain. I would do this the way I always had — with a stiff upper lip and determination in my bones.
I set the bag down on the ground and turned the handle to the store, not surprised when it was unlocked. Mr. Boling had been helping me with the store in the afternoons off and on. Something told me eventually I would need help running this place, and Mr. Boling needed to feel useful. We both got something out of the deal and that’s why I didn’t feel guilty about asking for his help.
I stopped halfway in the door, the bag I’d slid across the floor sitting forgotten while I took in the scene. I stared slack-jawed at my mangy mutt cuddled up to the object of my desire, and my anxiety. Hayes Rutherford the Fourth, in the flesh.
“Hayes?” I asked, not surprised, but confused and unsure. “Is something wrong?”
He patted the dog’s head and stood, brushing his hands and his pants off. “Hi, Mercy,” he whispered, his eyes as blue as I remembered. The sky, the ocean, and the glimmer of topaz in the sunshine were all there in his openly honest globes. “The only thing wrong is the way I’ve treated you the last few months.”
I cleared my throat and hid Justice behind my back. “You had no obligation to me.”
He took another step forward and my eyes drank him in. His perfectly cut, dark navy suit brought out the blue in his eyes. It gave him the look of brooding businessman and sexy GQ model all in one. He was neither of those things, though. He was the man I love and I was finding it hard to suck air into my chest the closer he came. He stopped a foot away from me and shook his head, as though that chasm was too much to bridge until we’d each had a chance to say our piece.
He leaned forward and gently lowered Justice to my side. “I did, at least in my own mind, but with the fallout from the news story I wanted to steer clear of you.”
I nodded, toeing the bag around until it was behind me. “I get it, Hayes. What you were dealing with was bad enough. You didn’t need to worry about my past coming back to make even more problems for you.”
He shook his head and grasped my shoulders, taking a step closer. He wanted to test the waters, but now that he was here, he couldn’t stay away. He had to touch me. I could see it in his eyes. “No, it had nothing to do with me. I didn’t care what problems it caused me. I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want it leaking that Hayes Rutherford was involved with a woman who had the same kind of past that he did. I didn’t want that for you. It was hard enough for me to deal with and I have an army of people to protect me.”
“And I only had you,” I deduced, suddenly taken aback by the turn of events. “I hadn’t thought of it, honestly. I was completely shocked when I saw the news story, but I never considered that you were staying away to help me. I thought you were staying away because you were embarrassed by me.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head slowly. “Never embarrassed by you. I didn’t want you to suffer more atrocities because of me. That’s not fair and I wouldn’t do that to you. You don’t know how many times I picked up the phone to call you, but I was just too scared.”
I cocked my head to the left. “Scared of what?” The room was deathly silent and after thirty seconds of waiting, my breath held tightly in my chest, he still hadn’t answered.
After an interminable wait, he finally spoke. “Rejection. I was scared you’d reject me. I waited too long to come back here and my heart and my head told me I’d lost my chance.” I nodded and bit my lip, tears welling in my eyes. He noticed them immediately and offered me his famous playboy smile. “Would it be okay if I hug you? Just a friend hugging a friend after a long separation.”
The tears spilled over my lashes and he pulled me into him. “For the record,” I whispered, clearing my throat, “I wouldn’t have rejected you.”
“Thank you for saying that,” he whispered, his beard nuzzling my cheek. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but if that’s what you’re offering, I’ll hold onto it forever, sweetheart.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Hayes,” I promised with my face buried in his shoulder.
“God, it feels incredible to hold you again, Mercy.” His voice was soft and honest when he buried his face in my neck to get closer. His beard and breath tickled my skin, but all I could do was soak up the feeling of being in his arms again, especially knowing it wouldn’t last.
After a few minutes of standing in the store doing nothing but holding each other, I leaned back and gazed up into his chiseled, handsome face. “What changed that you could visit me now without a phone call or anything?”
He dropped his arms and smiled ruefully. “Apparently, no one at the office likes me anymore. Ange threw my keys at me today and told me to get my butt out here. She made a reservation at the motel in town just in case you kicked me out.”
“So Ange made you come.”
Wonderful. He didn’t want to come. He came because someone forced him to.
Give him a chance, Mercy.
“No, Ange encouraged me to come. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be. No one forced me to get in my car and drive here. It’s just, a lot of what she said made sense, you know? I guess I was looking at things from a different perspective than everyone else.”
“What perspective was that?” I asked, taking another step back.
He held up his hands, palms out. “I guess from the perspective that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me or you would have contacted me. Ange said I was being a total guy.”
Full on giggles burst from my lips at his words and I copied his posture, hand up in the air. “Total guy,” I gasped out, my eyes welling with tears of laughter this time.
He rubbed my arms, eyeing me from under his brows until I got myself under control. “Do you have more bags in the car?”
“I do, actually. There are five more.”
“I brought dinner. If I bring in the rest of the bags will you let me stay long enough to eat?” His fingers trailed down my face in a caress of total and utter contentment. “I won’t overstay my welcome.”
“You brought dinner?” I was sure the confusion was written all over my face. “How did you bring dinner?”
“I stopped off at my favorite Mexican place and picked up an order. It’s in your oven staying hot as we speak.”
“What if I’d said no to dinner?”
He shrugged, but it still carried an air of dignity. “Then you would have had yourself an excellent Mexican dinner to eat while I sat hungry and out in the cold at the motel.”
Another burst of laughter fell from my lips and I shook my head, looking to the ceiling. “We can have dinner as long as you understand it’s just dinner.”
He did the sign of the cross, or the Boy Scout pledge, or some combination of both, I wasn’t sure. I bent and picked up the bag behind me then motioned out the door. “Bring the bags into the store for me? This is the only bag with perishable items. I’ll put them away while you’re bringing in the rest.�
��
He rubbed his hands together and stepped toward the door. “I’m on it,” he promised.
I stood for a moment and watched him leave the store. I noticed when he wore a suit, he carried himself differently. The suit made him Hayes Rutherford the Fourth, CEO of Rutherford Designs, but it wasn’t who he liked to be. He liked being the guy who wore a trapper hat and a pair of flannel lined jeans. He liked being the guy who went fishing on a cold lake for hours just so he could bring his crush her favorite fish. What stuck out the most was his eagerness for forgiveness. The truth was, we really weren’t that different. We were both looking for the same thing.
Love.
If my secrets don’t tear us apart, maybe we’d find love together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
HAYES
Once the food was stowed away in the fridge and the dishes were soaking, I led her into the living room where the fire was blazing and the room was toasty against the cold wind.
“Thanks for dinner,” she said for the tenth time. “I rarely get Mexican food way out here unless I make it myself.”
I sat next to her on the couch, my body turned toward her and our knees touching, but a frown on my lips. “You didn’t eat much. Are you feeling okay?” She’d barely picked at the food and I was worried she wasn’t happy I was here after all.
“I’m fine,” she assured me, resting her hand on my knee. It didn’t slip past me it was the first time she’d initiated contact since I’d arrived. “I didn’t know you were coming and I grabbed a bite to eat at the café in town this afternoon. I didn’t want to cook tonight.” She chuckled, but it was strained. I was making her uncomfortable and I hated every second of it. I deserved it, but I still hated it.
The Secrets Between Us (Billionaire CEO Romance) Page 20
