by Rachel Leigh
Marni heads to her seat and I follow. When she sits down, I narrow my eyes on the douchebag with highlights in his hair who is sitting next to her. “Get up,” I demand.
He looks from me, to Marni, and then to Mrs. Tate, who is standing at the front of the class tapping the toe of her shoe to the floor. “James, could you please sit in the back with Alan. Talon will be sitting in with us for the next couple of days.”
Alan begins a sneezing fit in the back row, and James huffs, “Seriously?”
“‘Fraid so.” I smirk as I begin stacking his belongings up. When he stands up, I shove them into his chest. “Thanks, bro.” Marni drops her face in her hands to hide her blush-colored cheeks. I lean over and whisper in her ear, “You’re cute when you’re mad.”
She grabs a piece of paper and snatches the pencil from behind my ear and scribbles out in all caps letters, FUCK YOU.
I grab the pencil from her and return the gesture. LATER.
She fights not to smile, but I feel it.
18
Somehow I managed to make it through the school week with Talon breathing down my neck—literally. All except for first period, he sat behind me. In the lunch line, he stood behind me. And today, while we stood there in line waiting for our turn, he placed his hand on my waist as he talked to Tommy and his crew. I’m not even sure if he realized he did it. I’m not sure how he didn’t though, with the way my body trembled at his touch. All the blood inside of me rushed to that one spot, and I’d swear there was a heartbeat beneath his fingertips.
The rumor mill has been in overdrive this week. Most assume that Talon and I are an item. Neither of us has validated nor denied those claims, particularly because it’s better to let them believe the rumors than the truth.
It’s been a struggle not to lay it all out there for Talon. The fact that I know someone recorded me, Zed coming in my room and touching me—me letting him touch me. If I wanted Zed dead, this would be my golden opportunity. Yet, I’ve kept my mouth shut. Though, my heart still feels the sting of it all.
My hand hovers over Axel’s name while I stand outside. My eyes shooting in every direction to be sure that no one is about to pop out, shout, or attack. I’ve gone back and forth for days on whether or not I should call Axel. I know he’d be here in a heartbeat if he knew that I was in trouble. He’d help me make an escape from the hold that these four guys have on me.
The sad part is, there is one that I’m not sure I want to run too far from. There is this magnetic pull between Talon and I and every time we’re drawn together, we force ourselves apart. He’s controlling and bossy and he drives me batshit crazy. We fight constantly, and most days, I want to beat him over the head and bury him next to Josh. But then I look at him when he’s not watching and I see a guy who has never been loved by a single hand that’s touched him. I see a person who longs to feel alive and for some screwed up reason, he awakens life inside of me, too.
He hurts me, but he also protects me.
Maybe I’ll call Axel tomorrow.
Sliding the door closed quietly behind me, I tiptoe up the stairs, hoping that the guys are too involved in their game to notice me. When I reach the top, I immediately spot Talon at the end of the hall. His back is pressed to the wall with one foot kicked up behind him. A few wispy strands of hair hang over his left eye, but the other one is zeroed in on me beneath a cocked brow. “Where the hell were you?”
“I needed some air.” I walk toward my bedroom door, but his thunderous strides in my direction have me halting.
“Or some privacy?”
Yep. Though, I don’t say it. There’s no way I could even attempt to make a call in this house with all the eyes and cameras. I found the hidden one in my room stuck to a painted picture. It was about the size of a pencil eraser. I tore that sucker down and flushed it down the toilet. Even if I got that one, I can’t be certain there aren’t more.
“I’m not in the mood to argue. It was an extra-long day at school today.”
“That must be why I’m so exhausted.” He pats his mouth and fakes a yawn. “I couldn't figure it out, but now that you mention it, school is alotta work.” There is something different in his tone. He’s not being abrasive or domineering. There are no crude comments or sexual innuendos.
“So go to bed.”
His eyes land on my lips, and chills dance down my back when his index finger trails along my cheekbone and down to my mouth. He leans closer and whispers, “Come with me.”
My heart skips a beat. “I don't feel like playing your games tonight. I’m just gonna shower and go to bed.” I twist the handle behind me and the door gives way.
He shakes his head. “No games.” His body walks into mine, and we push through the open door. Wrapping his hands around my waist, he pulls me close and those chills only multiply, sending my heart and my head into a frenzy. He tugs the lobe of my ear between his teeth and grazes the skin ever so gently. “Grab your clothes. You can shower and sleep in my room tonight.”
Effortlessly, my head tilts to the side. “Why?” My eyes close and I take in every exhale of his breath on my skin. “I thought you didn’t let anyone sleep in your bed?”
“You’re not just anyone. Besides, you’ve already slept in it.”
“You’re right, I’m not. I’m someone you claim to hate. So, tell me why?” I take a step back so that I can see his face. I need to read his expression because his words lie.
“Because I wanna be near you.”
Wide eyes and pouty lips look back at me. A solemn expression with no hidden agenda. I shouldn't, but I believe him. I always knew that somewhere deep inside, buried under the rubble, was a heart that ticked with more than hate. He feels the pull between us, too.
Once I have my bag packed with my bathroom stuff and some pajamas, I follow Talon up to his room. It feels weird. Really fucking weird. I slept in his room before, but I wasn’t given a choice. Now here I am, of my own freewill. Gripping my bag tightly to my chest, I swallow down any notion that this is a trap. I hate that I feel so on edge around him. I’m so afraid to let my guard down because I fear he’ll use it against me.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out his keys and drops them on the dresser. Followed by the thud of his wallet and his phone. “Shower’s yours. Towels are in the closet.”
Taking my bag with me, I go inside the bathroom and begin searching for cameras. I pull open the cabinet mirror on the wall, over the sink, and see a bottle of pills. Zepro. Which is a mood stabilizer. One of the many that Mom used to take. I pick I up and read the expiration date. September, and the bottle is still full. Hmm, maybe he stopped taking them.
I set the bottle back inside the cabinet and continue my search. There’s the typical male necessities. Shaving cream, a few bottles of high-end cologne, a tube of toothpaste. Boring stuff and nothing that screams he’s watching me. I scope out the walls and the corners and each step has my stomach filling with anger that I have to even do this.
The door swings open, and my heart jumps into my throat. “Everything ok in here?”
“Geez, Talon, I could have been naked.” I unzip my bag and begin pulling out my shower supplies.
“You should have been. You’ve been here in for ten minutes and you haven’t even turned the shower on.” His hand presses against the doorframe. “Were you going through my things?”
I could lie. But I don’t. “Sure was. Just making sure that the guys downstairs aren’t streaming a live feed of me getting undressed in your bathroom.” Regardless of who recorded me, someone did, and right now I can’t trust anyone in this house.
“Even if there was a live feed, which there's not, I wouldn’t share.”
Liar.
I fight the urge to scream it at him and demand the truth along with answers to every fucked-up thing that has happened.
Here I am falling for this guy, at least that’s what it feels like, and he’s been using me. And I’ve let him! I’ve let them all do whatever they please wi
th me. I can’t imagine how pathetic I look. I bet they laugh at night when I’m sleeping because they have me right where they want me.
This was a bad idea. I never should have agreed to spend the night with him. Being here like this, it’s wrong. This isn’t us. Talon and I yell and scream at each other until an insatiable hunger consumes us. One so strong that we are forced to satisfy it. This whole scenario feels too intimate. Far too intimate for a guy who is mind fucking me.
“I couldn’t find my toothbrush.” I grab it from the bag and hold it up.
Without a word, he walks out the door and closes it behind him.
Before I get in, I let the shower run for a few minutes and when I step inside, I do what I’ve done during every shower for the last year. I cry.
Full on snot nose, heaving sobs. I cry for my mom. I cry for my dad. I cry for the life that I had that was ripped away from me by the cartel that sucked my dad in. For the cancer that took my mom. For the sleepless nights and tired days. For the body-numbing anxiety, and just plain old fucking life. This dark hole that has sucked me in and no matter how hard I try to climb out, I keep getting pulled deeper into the pit.
Then there’s Talon. A guy who screams dominance and hostility to the entire world, but shows me a sliver of conviction and I hold on so tightly to it because I'm the one who gets to see it. Not the guys, not the girls from his past. Me. He let me touch it. Balled up in my hand and stuffed inside my heart, I take it out as a reminder every time he does something hostile. Because I know that somewhere inside of him, there is a fire that burned out when he was a kid and he so desperately wants to rekindle it. And I want to be the one to light that flame and shield it from the wind.
Minutes pass and the tears have stopped. I wash myself up as if I didn’t just have a complete breakdown and I step out to grab a towel, feeling slightly less burdened. My hand wipes over the fogged-up mirror, and I stare back at my swollen eyes, knowing that I can’t leave this room until they’ve settled.
When the bathroom door flies open, I tug the towel around me firmly and avoid looking at him. “Seriously? Again?”
“Damn woman, do you always take hour long showers?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get dressed.”
My entire body is now turned to the wall opposite him, and when I sense him coming closer, I tense up.
“Turn around,” he says, as he stands directly behind me.
I shake my head no. “Just get out!”
Placing a hand on my shoulder, he turns me around. “Why are you crying?” he asks, all too calmly. As if he’s asking me if I want a glass of water.
“I’m not.” I lie.
His thumb sweeps under my eyelid. “You were.”
Shoving his hand away, I clear my throat. “Talon, just get out! I need to get changed. I’m tired.”
“Then get dressed. You had no problem stripping down last week in front of both me and Lars. What’s the difference?”
The difference is, I was doing it to prove a point. Now, I’m feeling a clusterfuck of emotions that have me second guessing every stupid thing I’ve ever done. But, I don’t say that. Instead, I swallow my pride and drop the towel. “Fine.” My lips curl into a sarcastic smile meant just for him.
I bend down and grab the lotion from my bag, all while watching him. Even as I stand here completely naked, his eyes stay fixed on mine. Squeezing a dollop into my hand, I slop it on my body much quicker than I normally would. As I bend down and rub it on my feet, I’m eye level with Talon’s semi that’s peeking through the fabric of his grey sweatpants. Gulping, I pick up an oversized t-shirt from my bag and pull it over my head hastily, then slide on a pair of underwear.
I toss my hands out. “Satisfied?”
He looks my entire body up and down. “Hardly, but I’m definitely intrigued.” His brows waggle as he takes me by the hand and leads me out of the bathroom.
Beads of water trail down my back from my tangled, soaked hair. I don’t even care. I’m too focused on him—on this.
Untucking the blanket from the neatly made bed, I climb under it and tug the silk comforter up to my chin. Talon stands there, watching me, studying me.
“Why were you crying?” he asks again, as he climbs on all fours and crawls toward me.
I shake my head. “I wasn’t.” My voice cracks, and I know that he’s seeing right through the tough facade I’m putting on for him.
“I don’t like when you cry.”
A bout of laughter rolls out of me. Cynical and breathy. He doesn’t like when I cry; yet, he’s keeping me here as his imprisoned pet.
One hand presses into the mattress by my rib cage, and the other by my hip, as his face lingers over mine. “Why is that funny?” Feathery strands of hair cascade down his forehead and touch the tip of his nose.
“Because you’re the reason for my tears. Isn’t that obvious?”
He shakes his head no. “Not all of them. You’ve been different. What happened?”
Tugging the blanket up further, I roll over to my side and face the wall away from him. He’s forced to reposition and does so by lying directly behind me. In my peripheral, I can see his hand levitating over my body. As if he’s unsure where to put it. At war with his mind on whether or not he wants to touch me out of something more than loathing. When he drops it to his side, I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s not that I don’t want him to touch me; I just don’t want him to try and comfort me. I don’t like being coddled, and something tells me that it would be just as awkward for him.
There’s an interval of complete and utter silence.
Until he breaks it. “Who else has touched you.”
I roll over on my back and his head shoots up. I look into his eyes. “Why are you asking me this?”
“I need to know. I have to know every man that has ever touched your body sexually.”
My brows pinch together and I huff out, “That’s not your business!”
Narrow eyes and a twisted expression stare back at me. “It’s not, but for my own personal sanity, I have to know. It’s eating away at my insides, knowing that there are other men out there who have touched you—tasted you—and felt you from the inside.”
Throwing the blanket off from me, I go to get up. “I’m going back to my room.”
Strong fingers press to my stomach. “I’m sorry. Please stay.” He throws his head back into the pillow, lying completely on his back. “Fuck, Marni. Don’t you see what you’re doing to me?”
“No. No, I don’t. But I think you need to tell me because you’re acting even more fucked up than usual.”
In one breath, he’s on top of me. Clenching my cheeks into his hands and his eyes...they’re glistening with dampness. “You’re slowly killing me, Marni. I’m so beyond fucked up and each day that you exist, you’re slowly slaying my heart.”
Opening my mouth to speak, nothing comes out. “I—”
“Something keeps flickering inside of me. It’s like a child toying with a light switch. Flicking it up and down and the damn thing either needs to be on or off. It’s you. You’re fucking with it.”
“But I’m not doing anything. Only what you’ve asked of me.”
I have no idea what he’s talking about or what is happening right now. I’ve never seen this side of Talon and I’m not sure what to think. Could it be that he’s having regrets? That he feels something for me that has nothing to do with the reason I’m here?
His thumb glides over my lips as he watches the movement. “I’ve done something, Marni. I had to fucking do it. It was the only way.”
My body stills. “What did you do?” His eyes shoot up to mine and something whirls around inside of me that has my heart palpitating. “What the hell did you do?”
“I brought you here as a sacrifice. A pawn in my game of revenge.” His head tilts forward as his lips linger over mine. “And now, I have to let you go.”
19
Aggressively, she tri
es to shove me off of her, but I’m not having it. Not yet. I have one more night with her— one chance to change things, and I’m not about to lose that time.
“Get off me,” she bellows, as her fists knock at my chest. “You’re freaking me out, Talon. What are you talking about? Sacrifice? Pawn? Have you lost your damn mind?”
I can’t get up. She’ll run. I have to keep her here and make her understand. To try and rectify what I’ve done. My head sways back and forth as I linger over her. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” It wasn’t, damnit. I wasn’t supposed to fall for her.
“Like what?” She screams, “Talk to me. Now!’
Lifting my head up, I look at her. Her big, beautiful blue eyes. Something bites my insides. Something that has no business being there. It’s a feeling of...I’m not even sure what it is, but it has my heart feeling like it’s doubled in size and it’s requiring more of my blood to pump each beat. All I know is, I don’t like that look on her face and the sadness in her eyes.
“We had a plan. You were only here as part of it. Get the video, start the conversation and lure him in.” I’m not sure why I’m telling her this. It could ruin everything, but the words spill out like liquid ink. “But you slowly started filling up a space inside of me that has been empty my entire life. I began to feel my pulse and see the sun and damnit, Marni, I felt remorse. I hated what I was doing to you. And I’ve never regretted anything before this.”
Cold fingertips sweep across my forehead, brushing the airy strands of hair from my face. “Does this plan have anything to do with the video you recorded of me?”
Something snaps inside of me. “How the fuck did you know about that?” I watch as she swallows the hard lump in her throat and fear settles in her eyes. “Tell me, damnit!” I shout.
“Zed showed me.” Tears well in the corner of her eyes and a new level of rage ensues when one slides down her cheek.
