by Rachel Leigh
25
The rain is hammering on the windshield. “Could ya press the gas a little harder. Come on, man.” I lean forward in the passenger seat. To say that I’m tense is an understatement of epic proportion. I’ve chewed half of my thumbnail off and the fucking thing won’t stop bleeding. Add that to the scratches on my neck, and the diced skin under my shirt and I look like I just stepped out of some fucked-up horror film.
“I’m already going seventy in a fifty-five and I can’t see shit.” Tommy presses down on the peddle with a little more tenacity, and I finally sit back in the seat.
We’re only five minutes away from Briarwood, but five minutes feels like a lifetime. “I can’t believe fucking Lars. How the hell could he do this shit?” I slap my hand on the dashboard. “When this is all over with, I’ve got a few choice words for that backstabbing son of a bitch.”
“Yeah, what he did was pretty messed up. But at least he’s trying to atone for his fuck-up.”
“Well, he’s atoning a little too late. Zed could have done just about anything to her at this point.” I can’t let my mind go there. I swear to God if he laid one harmful finger on her, I’ll break ‘em all. I resume chewing on my nail and suck the drop of blood into my mouth.
Tommy snarls in disgust as he side-eyes me. “Would you quit that shit.”
I slap both hands on my legs, rubbing my sweaty palms onto my jeans. This is a disaster. If anything happens to Marni, I’ll never forgive myself. Should have just found another way once I felt that first twinge in my chest. That new feeling that told me she was more than just another girl—that she was special. Instead, I got her tangled up in this mess and now she’s under the hands of a guy who has not a single ounce of empathy in his heartless body. “Bout damn time.” I huff, as we pull down the driveway of Briarwood.
Zed’s car is parked right out front and I’m well aware that he’s expecting us. Lars filled me in on that much. What Zed doesn’t know is that Tommy and I have brought backup. Didn’t wanna do it. Really didn’t want to. I hate Axel Thorn with a passion, but we have the same agenda here. Get Marni out alive, while keeping our asses alive as well.
I shoot Lars a text from Tommy’s phone to let him know we’re here. “They’ll be coming through the back. My guess is that he has Marni in the basement, so I’ll head straight there. You search the upstairs while Lars and Axel hide out until it’s time.”
“Not gonna lie, bro. I’m really fucking nervous about this,” Tommy says, killing the engine and tugging his hood up.
“We all are.” I lift my hood up as well, but waste no time jumping out and booking it to the front door. Thunder ripples all around me, followed by a strike of lightning that shoots across the sky. Looking behind me, before I open the door, I see Tommy trailing me, none too eagerly. “C’mon.”
When he’s finally at the top of the stairs, I slowly open the door. Not that it matters much, the old wooden structure scrapes so loudly against the floor that I’ve just announced our presence to everyone inside, dead and alive.
“Ah, there’s the man of the hour,” Zed says, as he stands in the middle of the narrow hallway with his hands in the air. “We’ve been expecting you.”
My first instinct is to charge at him and rip his fucking head off for touching Marni. Then every other limb on his body for this mess he’s stirred. Everything I’ve replayed in my head the entire drive is a scrambled mess. “Cut the shit. Where is she?”
“She’s around. And trust me, she’s not going anywhere this time. You see, I know how to keep the ladies right where I want them. You, on the other hand, let them run amuck and fuck shit up.” He holds up the SD card. “You’re lucky I got my hands on her...I mean this, when I did.” He corrects himself, although it’s crystal clear that it was intentional.
“Give that to me.” I hold my hand out, knowing full on that he won’t just hand it over. I’m just buying time for Lars and Axel to get in the house.
“Could you imagine if she would have stuck this baby into her computer? Your entire secret would have crashed down on you before she even knew she had feelings for you. She would have run right to Daddy.”
“Doesn’t matter. None of that shit matters anymore.”
“Oh,” he perks up. “You won’t care if she knows that her dad killed the boy in the basement?”
I take a step closer to him and he doesn’t budge. “Just give me the card and tell me where she is.” My hands pat my puffed-out chest. “It’s me you want. I’m right here.”
“You’re right. It is you. But it’s also her. You don’t deserve a girl like that.” His voice raises a few octaves. “Because of you, my mom is dead and she’s never coming back.”
“My mom’s gone too, Zed. You think that I don’t mourn her, even though she’s living. At least you had a mom for most of your life. Mine never even deserved that title.”
“And that makes it ok? Your mom was a fuck-up, so it doesn’t matter that you killed mine?”
“Zed,” I take another step, “your mom committed suicide. It doesn’t matter who gave her the pills, one way or another, she would have gotten her hands on them. I had no idea that was her plan when I gave them to her. I know I screwed up.”
I’d been doing pill drops for Zed’s mom for weeks. Didn’t think that day was any different. She was an addict, like me. I didn’t have two cents to rub together since I blew through my savings and Dad cut me off. At that time, I thought my trust fund was years away, so I started selling for a high-end dealer. I was making damn good money and I was getting my fix. It was a win-win.
I had no idea that Rose was planning to overdose that day. I ended up going to the football game, living my life like nothing had happened. We played hard, won the game, and that’s when Axel threw his two cents in about my fucked-up family life. Everything became too much that night. Rose died, Zed would soon know that I brought her the pills, and I was ready to end it all. Only, fate had other plans for me. I went to rehab and got clean. It was the best thing to come from that whole messed-up situation. Zed eventually forgave me. At least, I thought he did.
“You screw up when you take a left instead of a right. Not when you hand a manic depressive a loaded gun.”
“I’m sorry, man.” I really am. I’m so damn sorry for the way that all unfolded. I was at a really bad place and made a lotta bad choices.
Zed takes a step forward and reaches out his hand with the SD card. “She already knows.” He slaps it into my open palm.
“Knows what?” I ask, but just as the words leave my lips, Zed grabs my arm. He gives it a twist behind my back, then spins me around to face Tommy. The card digs into the skin of my palm as I grip it tightly. Zed’s other arm crosses over my throat while my back is pressed firmly to his chest. I’m pretty much fucked as far as getting out of this hold.
“She knows everything.” His voice is unfamiliar. I’ve always known that Zed’s heart is as black as coal, but he’s shown us streaks of color over the years. Only us. Only his boys.
When we were eleven years old, I was staying over at his house. He had stretched up to do something, I can’t even remember what he was doing. Pulling off his sweatshirt, maybe. I noticed a mark on his back. It was the perfect shape of a handprint with little bruises on the rest of his back, and with my history, I knew exactly what it was. It was a secret.
Something he didn’t wanna talk about and something I didn’t dare ask about. Only, I had no idea who’d done it. Was his dad giving him beatings, too? It didn’t seem likely. While his dad wasn’t the friendliest man in existence, he didn’t come off as angry or bitter. No. It was someone else.
From that day on, I was hell-bent on finding out what happened to Zed. I couldn’t figure out if I was worried for him or if it was because I needed to know that I wasn’t the only one who was living a life under the clutches of Satan himself.
I followed him everywhere. My eyes were always on him. Weeks went by, and eventually, it began to slip my mind until it w
as just a distant memory.
Three months later, it was Christmas break and we were all hanging out at Tommy’s house and Zed had to get ready to leave for some Christmas play at his family’s church. Yeah, Zed went to church. Religiously. His mom made him attend every single Sunday, and they were at every gathering the church held. This night was no different. Zed made a comment about hating the pastor and how one day he’d pay for his sins. Everyone brushed it off as Zed being Zed. At this point, his darkness was starting to creep out like black tar. So, I became suspicious again. There was something about the look in his eyes that told me this was more than Zed just hating church.
Making jokes about seeing Zed dressed up as a shepherd, I talked Tommy and Lars into going. Zed put up a fight and wasn’t happy in the least. But we went anyway. The three of us were lined up in a row, waiting for the play to start, when I saw Pastor Jeffries pull Zed aside. Zed’s eyes danced around the room in fear, as if he was searching for someone to stop him. Though no one did. I excused myself and told the guys that I had to use the bathroom.
That’s when I saw it. After months of wondering what was turning Zed ice cold and leaving those marks on his body, I had my answer. Staring at a plain white wall, Zed looked numb. But it wasn’t the black of darkness in him I saw that night. It was shades of blue sadness, red angered, and crimson fire. I saw his true colors. Pastor Jeffries was the one hurting Zed. Not just physically, but sexually.
I never told a single soul. I didn’t know how. I was just a kid. As years went by, I always regretted it, and eventually it felt too late. I knew what these secrets felt like, and I knew what would happen if they got out. To this day, Zed isn’t even aware that I know.
Until now.
We all have our inner demons that we battle day in and day out. Just because the world doesn’t see them, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. My father created a monster inside of me. Pastor Jeffries unleashed the monster in Zed.
“We aren’t your enemy, Zed.” I speak calmly in an attempt to alleviate his rage.
His jaw clenches. “The world is my enemy.”
“Talon!” I hear Marni shout in the distance. My body jolts up and I wanna scream back. Tell her I’m here, but I don’t. Instead, I motion Tommy to the staircase with my eyes.
Just as his feet slowly slide in the direction of the basement, I hear the thud of footsteps come from the kitchen. Many footsteps. Sloshing and squeaking from the rain across the hardwood floor. Zed spins my body around, and I catch Tommy ducking out to go to Marni.
“Where the fuck is my sister, King?” Axel growls as he repeatedly taps the tip of a baseball bat to the palm of his hand. The shadow of the others casts off the wall, and I immediately know he brought back up.
Just like us, where there is one, there are four. With Axel’s boys, where there is one, there are three. Kip and Knox come into view, sporting the same displeasure in their expressions.
Axel takes a step closer while Zed’s grip on me strengthens. “I’m gonna ask you one more time where the hell my sister is, and if you don’t tell me, this bat will meet your skull.” His voice grows louder with each word and even on his side in this, I feel the wrath of his fury.
Zed chuckles. “Should’a known these guys would call big brother for help.”
“I don’t give a shit what you do to these guys you call your friends. I’m here for Marni and I will be leaving with her.” Knox and Kip close in as Axel steps even closer to us.
Lars has yet to show his face, but I know he’s around.
The flapping of feet on the steps draws closer and closer until Marni is fleeing into the room and throwing herself in Axel’s arms. He takes a step back, examining her and running his fingers through her hair. “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m fine.” She turns around and looks at me. Our eyes catch and a sadness lingers behind them. Zed said he told her everything. What she doesn’t know is that I didn’t divulge that information to protect her. Also, because there is so much more that even Zed doesn’t know. The fleeting moment of our locked gazes passes, then her eyes drop and she turns back to Axel. “Let’s get the hell outta here.”
Axel looks from Marni to me. “What about them?”
“They can take care of themselves. It’s what they do best.” She grabs his arm and pulls him toward the direction of the kitchen, while Knox and Kip follow behind.
Axel points his finger at Zed before leaving. “This isn’t over, King. There will come a time when you’re alone with no witnesses around. When that time comes, you better run, mother fucker.”
I wanna scream at Marni to stop and to let me explain, but I have to handle Zed first. Once I do, I’ll make her understand. She’ll come back to me. She has to.
“Well, you lost the girl. Ready to give up the fight?” Zed grumbles in my ear as he continues to brace me.
Tommy stands by idly with apprehension in his eyes. Unsure what he should do to help, but there isn’t anything he can do. I have to do this one on my own. “Go find Lars and wait for me at the truck. I’ll be out soon,” I tell him.
Tommy’s eyes question my sanity, but I nod. “Just go.”
Once he’s gone, Zed continues with his threats and insults. “That was fucking stupid. And here I thought you were the smart one of this bunch.”
“I’m not your enemy, Zed.” I repeat the words again.
His hold on my shoulder tightens, causing his forearm to press aggressively against my throat. “You are the enemy.”
With my voice box constricted, I sputter, “He did this to you. Not me. Pastor Jeffries is the enemy.” It’s the first time I’ve ever mentioned the old man to Zed. As far as he’s been concerned, no one knows what happened. But I know. I know every dirty detail.
“What the hell did you just say?” He squeezes with so much force that I can feel my air supply diminish with each passing second.
“I know.” I manage to choke out.
“Know what?” Zed releases his grip on me and I buckle over, drawing in long breaths.
My back is to him while I’m gripping my knees, bent over coughing and sucking in air. “I’ve known for a long time. Seen it with my own eyes at the Christmas party in sixth grade.”
“Fucking liar.” He spits.
“Why would I lie about this? How else could I possibly know?”
“Who else knows?” He stomps his foot to the floor. “Who else?”
Straightening my back, I turn around to face him. “No one else. I’ve never told anyone what I saw.”
He sweeps his hand through the air. “You didn’t see anything. You’re making shit up.”
“Am I?” He knows damn well that I’m telling the truth. Making this up would be too much of a crazy coincidence. “We can make him pay, Zed. You deserve your peace, just as much as the rest of us.”
Something ticks inside of him, and he’s at my front, gripping the collar of my shirt. “You paying is all that will bring me peace.”
“I think you’re just searching so deep that you’re looking for any answers, even if they’re the wrong ones. It’s not me you want. Deep down you know that your mom’s death was on her own hands.” When there’s a flicker in his eyes and he releases my shirt, I know that I’m breaking through his walls.
“Get the hell out of here.” He points to the door and screams, “Go!”
“From start to finish, Zed. You’ve done some fucked-up shit, but I know what it feels like to have your insides twisted and drained because someone stole your dignity. You fight like hell to hide the pain, but eventually, you have no fight left inside, because the only person you’re battling is yourself.”
With that, I walk out and leave him standing there. Alone in his own misery. I’m not sure if he’s gonna be ok. But that’s not my problem anymore. If he needs a hand getting his salvation, I’ll be there. Because we made this pact in blood and I stand by my word. I’ll never forgive him for what he did to Marni, though. There’s no going back after that.
>
26
“Again?” Shay asks from the doorway of her bedroom.
I nod. “Yep.” Tucking my phone under the pillow, I roll over and face the wall.
“Just shut it off. Maybe he’ll take a hint.”
That would be the logical thing to do. But I don’t. Talon hasn’t taken a break from calling me since last night. His finger must be hovering over the redial button, because every time I hit end, it starts again. The crazy thing is, he hasn’t sent any text messages or left any voicemails. It’s probably for the best. If he did, I’d feel tempted to read them and it would defeat the purpose of taking this time for myself. I just need to process everything. I haven’t totally given up on Talon. He’s still in my heart and my head. But so much has happened and I’m unsure where I go from here.
I can’t go home. Apparently, my own father was in on this and sold me to the wolves, just so he wasn’t implicated in Josh’s murder. It’s a sad truth when you’re smacked in the face with the reality that, in the end, you only have yourself.
“Shane’s having a kickoff to Thanksgiving break party tonight. What'd ya say? Should we make an appearance?”
What I want to do is shout to Shay that I was held at gunpoint for three hours, strapped to an electric chair in an old asylum, and found out that my dad killed Josh. No, I don’t wanna go to a party. But, I can’t say any of that. “I’m just really tired. You go ahead and I’ll stay here.”
I mean, where else would I go? Not home. Not Talon’s. Axel is back in LA. I don’t even know where home exists anymore.
“Ya know,” she walks over and sits on the edge of the bed, “they say that vodka is the best medicine for heartbreak. Seals that sucker right up.”
I laugh. “Vodka is the last thing I need. Besides, if he knows I’m there, he’ll probably seek me out.”
Who am I kidding? Talon doesn’t go to other parties; he only attends his own. Maybe that’s why I’m not thrilled to go. Maybe part of me wants to see him.
