by Beth Ehemann
She bit her lip and shook her head.
“Then don’t insult me by telling me what to do with mine.” I reached over and kissed the end of her nose. “I’m having a blast. Let me do this.”
Before she had a chance to argue, I turned back to Lucy and Piper. “All right, Twinkies. Where were we?”
We walked around Target until the cart was completely filled with school supplies, new backpacks, and glitter princess heels. They obviously weren’t on the school list, but Lucy’s and Piper’s eyes sparkled when they saw them. That was all I needed to see.
“Your total is $312.41,” said the cashier.
I heard Kacie gasp quietly, but I didn’t bother to look at her as I took my credit card out and swiped it. We started toward the exit when a couple of boys nervously walked up to us.
They looked to be about ten years old and nervous as hell. One of them opened his mouth to talk but shut it before anything came out. The other one nudged him and he started again. “Uh, are you… Brody Murphy?”
I took a step away from Kacie and the girls and put my hands on my knees so I was closer to the boys’ level. “I am. What’s your name?”
“Uh, Cole.”
“And you?” I glanced down at his friend, but he didn’t say anything. His red hair fell in his face as he stared at me, blinking rapidly behind his black-rimmed glasses.
Cole nudged him. “That’s Dylan. Um, can we have your autograph?”
“Of course. What would you like me to sign?”
“Here, take this.” A woman, who I assumed was the mother of one or both of them, walked up and handed me a piece of paper and a pen.
“Thanks.” I took the paper and ripped it in half neatly. “Cole you said?” The kid nodded eagerly.
He grasped the paper in his hand, holding it close to his face as he stared down at it excitedly.
“My man, Dylan.” I turned toward the other boy. “If you want me to give you an autograph, you’re going to have to say hi.”
His eyes were as wide as saucers as he took a deep breath. “Hi,” he said in a barely audible voice.
I laughed and ruffled his hair. “Good enough.”
“Do you have time for a quick picture?” their mom asked.
“Absolutely,” I said.
Both boys turned to face her and I stood in the middle, squatting slightly. “Smile, Dylan,” I said as she clicked the picture.
“So how do you think the Wild will hold up this year? Think you guys will make it to the play-offs? It’s a big year for you personally, huh? I’m sure contract years are stressful,” Dylan blurted out all at once as he turned to me.
“Wow.” I stood up. “For someone who wouldn’t say hi a minute ago, you’re sure chatty now, huh?”
“He’s a sports genius. All he does is read facts and stats.” Cole shrugged. “He knows everything.”
“Good for you, buddy.”
I messed up Dylan’s moppy hair again before excusing myself and walking back over to the girls. I silently prayed to all that was holy that Kacie hadn’t heard the last part of the redheaded chatterbox’s question assault.
“You guys ready to go?” I clapped loudly as I walked up to them.
Kacie gave me a weird smile and my heart sunk. I wasn’t intentionally lying to her about my contract being up this year, I just didn’t want to talk about it now. It weighed on my mind constantly as it was, and knowing that it would be weighing on Kacie’s too would kill me.
“Why did those boys want you to sign something?” Piper asked innocently.
“They wanted my autograph. Do you know what an autograph is?”
She shook her head.
“I do!” Lucy said excitedly. “It’s a piece of paper you write your name on.”
“Exactly,” I said to her. “They just wanted me to sign my name.”
“But why?” Piper still looked confused.
“Girls, Brody plays hockey on TV, so sometimes people see him and ask for his autograph because he’s… famous.” She bit her lip and shrugged as she looked at me, unsure of if she’d explained it okay.
I nodded and Piper seemed happy with Kacie’s explanation.
We were making our way to my truck when Piper spoke up again. “If you’re famous, do you know Selena Gomez?”
“Yeah, can we have her autograph?” Lucy followed.
Kacie looked at me and tried to not to laugh at the ego shot her daughters had just given me. “Sorry.” She shrugged. “Guess you have to be on The Disney Channel and sing pop music to be cool in their book.”
When we got back to Kacie’s, the girls wanted to take their new loot to their room and divide it into piles. What can I say? They have OCD like their mom. Sophia and Fred were in the kitchen having coffee with an older couple that was staying at the inn for a few days, so Kacie and I decided to sneak off to her room. We both collapsed on the bed and intertwined our legs while she rested her head on my chest.
“Who knew school shopping could be so exhausting?” I sighed.
Kacie giggled. “Just wait until you see the list for second grade.”
“I better start saving now,” I joked.
She sat up and looked at me with a pained look in her eyes. “I told you not to buy all that stuff. I could’ve done it. Not everything you threw in the cart, but the necessities.”
“Kacie.” I laughed. “I was just kidding. Trust me, I haven’t even given it a second thought.”
“I know, but… I also know hockey players don’t get paid like football players, and—”
“Calm down. Do I make twenty million a year like other athletes? No. That’s not how hockey is and I’m fine with it; but I do make well into the seven figures and I live like a college student, so it all works out.”
She rolled her eyes. “You do not live like a college student. I’ve been to your condo. It’s beautiful.”
“My mom did all that. If I had decorated it, I’d have patio furniture in my living room. Seriously though, the condo is really all I’ve bought. That condo, my two vehicles, and the farm for my parents. If I retired today, we could live quite comfortably for the rest of our lives. The girls too, and probably their girls.”
A sweet smile crossed her lips as her head looked down toward the bed. “I like when you say that.”
“Say what?”
“We, our, stuff like that. Especially when talking about the future.”
“You are my future, Kacie. You’re my present and my future and if I could figure out a way to invent a damn time machine, you’d be my past.”
The smile that accented her beautiful mouth just a second before faded. “But what if you have to leave?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, your contract and stuff. What if you get traded?”
“You heard that kid, didn’t you?”
Dylan. Little ginger bastard.
She nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me your contract was up this year?”
“Honestly, I wasn’t going to tell you at all because I don’t want you to worry about that. You take on everyone’s stress as your own, Kacie. You think you have to fix everything, but I didn’t want you to think about that. That’s for me to worry about. I know how I need to perform to keep my spot on this team and I plan on doing that every day. No worries, okay?”
“Give me two minutes, and then I promise I won’t worry anymore.” She pulled her eyebrows together and bit her lip nervously. “But think about it, Brody. What if that happens?”
“What if it does?”
“I can’t move, Brody. My whole life is here in Minnesota.”
“You won’t have to. I told you, I’ve invested well. Actually, Andy’s invested well for me. Before him, my money was in shoeboxes in my bedroom closet. My point is, we’ll make whatever it is work, okay?” I gently brushed the side of her face with the backs of my fingers. “If I have to, I’ll buy a damn plane to make sure we don’t go more than a few days without seeing each other. It’ll
all work out. Besides, who says I’m getting traded anyway? They don’t call me ‘The Wall’ for nothing, remember?” I winked at her. “Now get over here and park it on my chest.”
I hooked my finger in the collar of her hoodie and pulled her toward me, leaving her no choice but to fall on top of me. She tucked herself up under my arm with her head back on my chest where it belonged. We lay like that for a long time, neither of us talking but both of us thinking, most likely about the same thing.
What if I did get traded?
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Alexa snarled sarcastically when I walked through the doorway at The Twisted Petal. Her arms were folded across her chest and a hard glare was plastered to her face.
“I hear you’re mad at me.” I pouted, walking over and throwing my arms around my best friend’s shoulders.
“Mad? Why would I be mad?” She wiggled out of my grasp and went back to clipping stems at her work station. “Because I talked to my dear friend—you know, the one who lives four thousand miles away?—and she filled me in on some very interesting happenings that are going on right here in my own town with my best friend and I had no clue? Why would that make me mad?”
Way to keep a secret, Lauren.
“I’m sorry, Lex. Things have been so hectic between my shifts at the hospital, making sure I spend enough time with the girls, and my relationship with Brody—which seems to mainly be a texting relationship now that his season is getting busier…” I sighed and plopped myself down in a chair in the corner of her shop. “There just aren’t enough hours in the day.”
Her face softened and she even let a tiny smile crack her lips. “I hear ya. I don’t know how you do it all, girl. Now what’s going on with Zach? I really can’t believe you didn’t tell me. What did Brody say? How is he not in prison for killing him yet?”
“He doesn’t know.”
Her head flew up and her mouth sprung open. “What?”
My head dropped into my hands. “I know, I know.”
“What the fuck are you thinking? Why haven’t you told him?”
“I don’t know. He’s just got so much going on right now with the start of hockey season. He’s also really stressed out because it’s a contract year.” I chewed on the corner of my lip, wondering if I was trying to talk myself into believing what I was saying. “I just don’t want to put any more on his plate, ya know?”
Alexa eyed me skeptically. “Mmhmm. So what did the dickhead say? Where’s he been all these years?”
“Well, it was a long-drawn-out story, but basically he was battling some pretty big demons. Way bigger than anything I knew about.”
Whenever I thought about the conversation Zach and I had in that cafeteria, the way his chin quivered, the sincere regret in his voice as he poured his heart out, I couldn’t help but feel bad for him.
“Oh my God. You’re going to let him back in, aren’t you?”
“Back in where?” I snapped defensively.
“Anywhere!”
“I don’t know. He hasn’t seen the girls yet, but I think I’m going to let him… eventually.”
She didn’t say anything as she dramatically dropped her pruning shears on the counter and turned to wash her hands in the sink.
“I know you don’t agree,” I defended, “but it’s my decision, and he is technically their dad.”
She spun around and narrowed her eyes at me. “What did you just call him?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Uh, no, I don’t. He’s a fucking sperm donor, Kacie, not their father. I’ve been more of a father to those girls than he has.”
I looked down at my hands and picked at my dark pink nail polish, distracting myself from making eye contact with her. “I know you have. But… what if he’s changed? What if he can have some sort of positive role in the girls’ lives? Don’t they deserve that?”
Alexa tapped her foot against the cold tile, staring a hole right into the top of my head. I could feel it. “I don’t know. I have no clue what I would do in your situation. What I do know is that you need to be honest with Brody about this.” She wiped her hands on her hot pink and black apron and took a step toward me.
“I know.”
“I mean it, Kacie. He’s the best thing that’s happened to you since you had those girls. You don’t want to fuck this up because you were too chicken to open your mouth.”
“I’m not a chicken; I’m just waiting for the right time. But you’re right. I’ll tell him tonight.”
“Alexa is always right—remember that.” She winked at me. “Back to the asshole. What are you going to do, seriously?”
“There’s nothing to do right now. I’m just taking it day by day.”
“Kacie, be strong. Do not let him near your heart.” A worried frown tugged at her eyebrows and twisted up her lips. “Wrap that shit in barbed wire when he’s around.”
“Lex, don’t be dramatic.” I laughed. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, really? You’re fine? I seem to remember a time awhile back, let’s see… the girls were probably about four months old. He messed up so bad that I told you if you went back to him, I’d beat the crap out of you. Remember that?” She cocked her head to the side and glared at me. “I still owe you a beating.”
I did remember. How could I ever forget that day? It was a normal Saturday morning in late November. The leaves had all fallen from the trees, matted to the ground by the pouring rain. Thanksgiving was the following week and Christmas was just around the corner. It was Lucy and Piper’s first Christmas and I was beyond excited. I knew they didn’t exactly know what was going on, and I’d promised Zach I wouldn’t go crazy, but I wanted them to have a few presents each under the tree. We’d been saving money in our trusty savings account, also known as the coffee can in the cabinet above the fridge.
Mom wanted us to come home for Thanksgiving and that was fine, but I’d also planned for us to have a mini-Thanksgiving the weekend before. I was excited to cook for Zach and the girls and spend the day just being together. Like every other Saturday morning, I let Zach sleep in, waking him for just a second to ask for the debit card. I bundled the girls up and headed out to the grocery store.
Zach and I both made minimum wage, but we made it work. Every week, we bought whatever the girls needed first—diapers, formula, and baby food—and then we stretched the rest.
Admittedly, I probably went a little overboard, but with good reason. We made our way to the checkout and I felt like I was pushing the Grinch’s overflowing sled. The cart was piled high with a small turkey, potatoes, and all the fixings to make our first Thanksgiving as a family memorable, not to mention all the regular weekly groceries and Lucy and Piper.
The teenage girl with blue streaks in her hair handed me my debit card back. “I’m sorry, ma’am. Your card was declined.”
“Wait. What?” My voice squeaked in confusion.
“Your card, it didn’t go through.” She shook her head, looking down at her computer screen.
“Can you try it again?” I gave it back to her, my chest growing tight. “I know there’s money in there.”
“Sure.” She took the card back and Lucy started to howl, sick of being strapped in the cart.
“Shh, shh.” I tried to calm her while still staring at the cashier. I looked at the line of people standing behind me. An older woman with gray hair looked down at the girls and back at me, smiling sympathetically.
The cashier swiped the card and stared at the screen again, eventually shaking her head. “I’m sorry, it’s not going through. Do you have another form of payment?”
“No,” I said quietly. An empty feeling grew in the pit of my stomach as I felt my face redden.
She asked me a question, but I didn’t hear her over the girls’ crying. They were battling each other for the loudest screamer as I was having the most embarrassing moment of my life.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I walked off with the empty cart that carried nothing but
my two hysterical four-month-olds.
I hurried to my car as quickly as I could, not wanting to see the people who were in line behind me again. As soon as the girls were buckled, I hurried out of the parking lot and drove home as fast as I could.
“Hey! Wake up!” I sat down on the bed next to Zach.
He groaned and rolled away from me.
“Zach?”
Lifting his head slightly, he squinted at me. “What?”
“Uh, I just tried to go to the grocery store and the debit card was declined. You need to call the bank.”
“Why?”
“So they can see what happened. Both of our checks went in yesterday. There should be more than enough money.”
“I don’t need to call. I know where it is.” He lay back down and covered his head with the pillow.
I pulled the pillow off of him. “Zach! Where is it? I need to go to the grocery store. I just wasted two hours!”
“It’s gone!” He snatched the pillow back.
“Gone? What do you mean gone? Where is it?”
“I spent it.”
“What?”
“Me and the guys, we went gambling after work last night. I lost.”
I shot off the bed and glared down at him. “You gambled away both of our paychecks?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“You are such an immature ass!” I turned and stormed out of the bedroom. The last thing I wanted to do was dip into the girls’ Christmas money, but at this point, I had no choice. I could forget about the turkey and all the sides, but I needed to cover basic groceries for the week. I lifted onto my tippy-toes, grabbed the coffee can from the cabinet, and opened it.
Empty.
What the hell?
I sprinted down the hall and threw the can at Zach, happy when it connected with his head.
“Ow! What the hell, Kacie?” He sat up and rubbed the side of his head.
“You bastard! Where is the girls’ Christmas money?”
“Oh. That.” He looked down at the bed, avoiding my glare. “I took that too.”
“Zach! What the hell! How could you do this?” My throat burned and my voice cracked even though I was trying to stay strong. “It’s their first Christmas and now they won’t have any presents. Nor will we have food for the week. What are we supposed to do?”
