“So after you have set your long-term Dreams and have then derived the specific Goals which fit those Dreams-those that are achievable in six months to five years-the next step is to write an Action Plan for each Goal.”
“Then list the hurdles that stand in the way of each step.
And finally the solutions to each of those hurdles.”
There were smiles and nods around the room as this synthesis of their first lessons came together. Brian continued, “If everyone in the company has agreed to the company’s goals, and the Action Plans are combined together from the Mail Clerk to the CEO, the company can accomplish almost anything.” He capped the marker and set it in the tray. “In the coming weeks we’re going to implement that planning process. Any questions?”
No hands were raised. Brian nodded. “I’ve enjoyed your input and participation so far, and I look forward to next week’s class.”
The management team pushed back from their tables, talking, sharing notes, and beginning to shift gears from training to the tasks of the day. The CEO, Ray Walters, ten years younger than Brian, came to the table and extended his hand, beaming. “This is just what we’ve needed. We have a great team, but we haven’t always been pulling in the same direction. Your course is already having an impact on how we approach problems and challenges. Thank you so much.”
Brian smiled and returned the handshake. Today’s lesson was always a favorite with the companies he advised, when the “light bulb” of recognition went off, and the previous weeks’ work finally fit together for a reason.
“Thanks, Ray. You do have a great team. I enjoy teaching them. It will be interesting to see which goals they pick to work on next week.”
“Yes, yes it will. Thanks again. We’ll see you next week.”
Driving back to his office, Brian thought about the ten prospecting calls he would make that afternoon. As part of implementing what he taught, Brian was faithful about making at least thirty new prospecting calls every week. So far he’d only made twenty. Friday afternoon he would settle in with the list of new companies in town and “Dial for Dollars,” as they called it around the office. The calls were one of several action steps in fulfilling his own company’s income goal for that year.
Brian was coming up on his forty-third birthday. He’d been a Goal Setting/Time Management consultant for fifteen years, ten with his own company. He had helped thousands of people in hundreds of companies attain their goals-or certainly at least get closer to them. It was very satisfying work. He, Marilyn, and their three children planned each month as part of their family’s annual plan, and it would soon be time to finalize the year’s vacation activities. He couldn’t imagine why everyone wouldn’t embrace the techniques he taught once they heard them, and it was with that fervor that he always approached his prospecting calls.
Yet …
Occasionally a small voice spoke to him. This isn’t all. Brian knew the value of faith and tried to practice his Christian principles in his work and his home. In fact, he felt that his entire business was devoted to helping people be better stewards of life’s most irreplaceable asset: time. He often wove Christian ethics-- without labeling them as such-into the examples he used in his talks. He truly believed that in helping people become more efficient and more successful, he was in a small way helping God build His Kingdom on earth. But the voice would occasionally nag at him-more often in recent months, and it happened again on the short drive that day. What could it mean?
That evening they had dinner with Marilyn’s parents, Bill and Joyce Demere. His father-in-law, retired now, had been a small town attorney, forty miles from the larger city in which they all now lived; and his mother-in-law had been a high school teacher. Marilyn had two brothers and two sisters. Her family had never been wealthy, but as far as Brian knew they had never wanted for anything.
What everyone in their family loved most about Bill and Joyce were their stories. Brian often thought that Bill must have known every person in his hometown, and had at least five stories about each one. And Joyce seemed to have followed her students’ joys and pains throughout their lives with such tenacity that even now not a week went by that she was not having lunch or a meeting with a former student, his or her spouse, or children.
Their stories had a way to touch the heart, and the kids loved them. There was a richness to his parents-in-laws’ lives that Brian assumed was from an earlier time.
That evening, after a good dinner and several great stories, the children had gone on to other things. The adults relaxed at the dinner table with their coffee and dessert.
Brian leaned back in his chair. “Joyce, after hearing how you’ve continued to help that family for thirty years, I have to ask-how have you kept up with those people all this time?”
Joyce smiled. “Oh, years ago I started to keep the rosters from each of my classes. I’d pray over the children every day, by name. And then I realized that it would be good to have specific things to pray for in each case. So I started asking them what I could pray for. And I’d ask them to be sure to tell me when a prayer was answered so I could cross it off the list. Anyway, I started that with my first tenth grade class...Let’s see, it’s been almost fifty years ago. Do you believe that, Bill? And I’ve kept it up ever since.”
Her husband nodded at his wife but spoke to Brian. “She’s got two big journals. You wouldn’t believe’em. She has eveiy student from every year she taught. What she’s been praying, how the prayers were answered, new requests, addresses, phone numbers, children. She knows about almost every one of them, and they talk all the time with ‘Mrs. Demere.’
“Then when Marilyn and our other kids came, she would always stop whatever she was doing and listen to them. It didn’t matter whether the house got cleaned or the laundry done. And listening to them is something Joyce still does pretty regularly.” Marilyn patted her mother’s hand. “She always has.”
“I think it’s sort of like electricity,” Joyce smiled. “If I take the time to really connect with someone, then God lets the power flow to change lives, including mine.”
“What about you, Bill?” Brian asked. “You seem to know everyone whom you grew up with.”
Bill laughed. “And a few more, I guess. I don’t have a journal like Joyce does. But I have always tried to be on the lookout for people who need some help-maybe a little money, a nudge finding a job, a little counseling when a marriage hit a rough spot.
It’s been sort of a habit of mine for a long time. It seems like when you do that, people come back to you. So I’ve connected and reconnected with people. If you keep your ears open, you learn a lot about people. That usually leads to more ways to help them. Or to suggest how they might help others. Then it just repeats. You know, it’s really kind of fun.”
Brian considered his father-in-law’s words before he spoke. “It’s actually been a lot of work, hasn’t it?”
The older couple looked at each other. “Work? No, I wouldn’t say that,” Joyce answered. “Like Bill said, it’s really kind of fun. What life is all about.”
“But I mean you’ve thought about it. You’ve kept some notes. Been intentional.”
“Well, I guess if that’s work, then Okay, we’ve worked at it.
But the notes have been to jog my memory. The ‘work’ is just talking to people. Listening, mainly.”
The next morning Brian, Marilyn and their children attended Sunday school and church. Their pastor, Ron Taylor, chose to speak on relationships. He cited numerous Bible verses, from Genesis 1-3, Romans 1, 4, 14-16 and 21, and Luke 15, all showing that God had created people in order to have the joy of fellowship with them, not to use them as servants or slaves.
Taylor recounted all the times that God spoke, indicating His desire for communication, from the creation of the universe to the teachings of Jesus. In fact, the Apostle John referred to Jesus as “the Word.”
He explained that Adam ruptured God’s expectation of relationship through sin, the exercis
e of his God-given free will, and that God had finally sent his Son, Jesus, as the once and for all payment for that sin, so that the relationship could be restored, sinner by sinner.
“God doesn’t first call us to do,” Taylor said. “Rather he first calls us to be. To be in fellowship with Him. To have a relationship with Him so that we can learn to conform our hearts and minds to His ways. To let Him listen to us. To let the Holy Spirit dwell in us, so that we think His thoughts and speak His words to others, building those further relationships.
“Look how Jesus touched every person he met, from the Samaritan woman to the young ruler. First, he met them where they were, and found out about them, before giving them a Do List. If we think about the people who have influenced us the most, I believe that we are as much influenced by who they are, and the genuine concern they have for us, as we are by what they have done. And the only way to express that concern is through a relationship that builds deep and lasting two-way conversation.”
When Taylor concluded, Brian knew that this was one of those times when the message seemed to have been written personally for him.
That evening Brian went into his study and spent an hour reading the texts that Ron Taylor had cited, plus some others. And he prayed.
On Monday morning he asked his assistant to reschedule as many of his commitments as possible for the following week. He spent the day reading the Bible, praying, and fasting. That afternoon he made a short list of people with whom he wanted to talk, starting with Ron Taylor, plus others who had been mentors or who had served on his Board of Advisors over the years.
On Tuesday and Wednesday he had six of those meetings and spent more time in prayer. On Wednesday afternoon, he started writing.
Friday morning as Ray Walters and the management team at Core Systems gathered in their training room, Brian was in the parking lot praying. Dressed in his usual blue blazer, gray slacks and an open collar shirt, he joined the class just before 8:30.
They took their seats. Brian walked to the front and placed some notes on the head table in front of the white board.
The room quieted.
“Thank you for being here for our sixth week. I’m looking forward to hearing the Action Plans that you’ve written for the company. I’m sure that after a few weeks of refinement we’ll finish with five to ten key plans which will move Core Systems to a whole new level of activity and profitability over the next 24 months.”
Everyone smiled, and Brian could see a few heads nodding. He took a deep breath. “But we’re going to do something different today.” Immediate looks of concern. “We’ve talked for five weeks about being more efficient with time; and we’ll cover specific Action Plans-both corporate and personal-in the coming five weeks. But I’ve decided, if Mr. Walters concurs, to make this a twelve-week course, and I’d like to insert two lessons that I now believe should have started the course.”
More looks of concern. Ray Walters turned his head slightly to one side.
Brian took another deep breath. “What we’ve covered so far has been absolutely accurate and useful. It’s just that we’ve been focusing on what to do, and we left off the most important thing, which is why to do anything.
“If you’re like me, you’ve probably had some sort of To Do List for many years. We’re helping improve and focus your List with this course, so that your short-term Do’s are aligned with your important long term Do’s.
“But today we’re going to start on creating another list, one that is both more challenging and more rewarding to make: It’s our To Be List. “
Almost everyone in the class looked from side to side.
“I don’t know about you, but I’ve been doing and doing and doing. What I haven’t been is being.”
Everyone was looking at Brian, waiting.
“Here’s my point, and it’s a very serious one. We are all doing, and becoming more efficient at it. My concern is that if the why we do something isn’t related to another person or to other people, then we’re just spinning our wheels. Ultimately we will be shallow, sad and frustrated. I’m admitting to you that I’ve lost touch with the why-with those people. And if you’re the same, then it’s vitally important that before we do any more doing, we first do some being, some relationship building.”
There were a few smiles, but mostly confused faces.
“Who is important to you? Whom have you lost touch with?
Who do you want to do something for in your limited future on earth? With whom do you have a strained relationship? Who might give you a different perspective on what’s important to do, and wouldn’t it be good to have that input before you make your To Do List? “
There were a couple of nods and some fidgeting. And a few arms folded tightly across chests.
“As a final introduction to this subject, I want to add a personal note. I think this is so important because I believe it is divine.” Brian stepped out closer to the class and raised his hands slightly. “I know that we all come from different faith backgrounds, and this is not a course on religion. But I want you to understand me, as the teacher. I don’t believe that you can read the basis of my faith-the Bible-without being convinced that relationship and fellowship are at the very core of God’s intent for us, first with Him and then with each other. I’ll be glad to share references with anyone who is interested after class, but
I just want everyone to understand that I feel these next two lessons are actually the reason for the whole course.”
The class was silent. Brian smiled. “All right, let’s get started.”
Using many examples from his own experience, including the preceding week, from literature and the Bible, Brian talked to an attentive audience.
As he neared the end of their time, he said, “And with all of that background on the importance of relationships, you can imagine how difficult it is for me to confess to you that I am a To Do Addict. I think many people share my addiction, particularly those of us who consider ourselves to be ‘successful.’ It can have a power over us that we almost can’t explain. There is an initial legitimate truth about it that we then overdo. We have to fight it every day, in order to keep it from becoming our god.”
As he looked around the room, he saw only serious faces. “So here’s what I’d like you to do. First, create what I’m calling a To Be List. It’s simply a list of people, which I’ll describe in a minute. The second part of the assignment is to go and spend significant time with the people on your To Be List. Since at least some of us are addicts, I want you to invoke the No Do Rule. Fight the temptation to Do something with them. I want you to stretch muscles that you probably haven’t used in a while, especially those two sticking out on either side of your head.”
He noticed people looking around the room at each other, some smiling.
“Now divide this list into three groups: Family, Friends, and Business. Add at least five people to each group. You should be able to complete this part of the assignment by tomorrow, which will then give you two weeks to do the main part: Go and Be with them.
“Is there someone with whom you should be close but with whom, for some reason, there is an impasse? Start with your spouse and your children, if you feel that To Do has gotten in the way of those relationships-and I can tell you in my case it definitely has.
“Ask questions. Find out about them, rather than rattling on about yourself. For your Business list, choose a few within Core Systems, but the majority should be outside the firm: customers, suppliers, even competitors. Here you may have to bend the No Do Rule and invite them to a ball game, golf outing, or something else, but keep it one-on-one if you possibly can. The idea is to create an environment in which a relationship can blossom through conversation, not an event that can be checked off.
“For a few of you this may all seem crazy-that I’m asking you to do what you’ve always just done. I salute you, just like I salute those who are already organized when we’re focused on the To Do List. But I suspect that in this
group of managers, the To
Be List may be the greater challenge.
“All right. Is everyone clear?” No one spoke. “You have my phone number if you need any clarifications or have any questions. Our goal is to return in two weeks with as much Being time as possible, so make your list by tomorrow, and I look forward to hearing your reports. By the way, I’ll be doing the same.”
Three members of the class called over the next two weeks, asking for advice on specific situations. Ray Walters, who had seemed a little nervous, if not unhappy, never called. As the class day drew closer, Brian prayed daily and, as he had promised, worked on his own To Be List.
When the two weeks were up, Brian walked into the training room just before 8:30. A quick glance showed him that almost everyone was there, though the room was not as noisy as it had been two weeks before.
As the Core Systems executives took their seats behind their tables, Brian went to the front, took out his notes, and spoke.
“Good morning. I hope you had an eventful two weeks. I’d like to get some feedback.”
Several hands went up. He called on a middle-aged man on the right side.
“I haven’t talked-really talked-with my younger brother in I couldn’t tell you how long. He was first on my To Be List. So I called. We agreed to meet at a restaurant we both know, about half way between here and where he lives.” He smiled. “We wound up talking for three hours. I found out a lot about my nephew and nieces that I didn’t know. My brother has some problems that I think I can help him with. It was great. We’re going back in three weeks with our wives. He’s first again on next month’s To Be List, which I’ve already started.”
More hands. Brian nodded to a younger woman in the front row.
“I’ve had that same situation with my father since I was a teenager. So I called and went over last Saturday. He loves to work in the garden, so we worked together getting it ready for the new season. I feel like I’m reconnected with him for the first time in many, many years. And there are two or three things where each of us is going to give the other a hand. Thank you so much for the To Be List.”
Ten Lies and Ten Truths (Second Edition) Page 9
