by Tasha Blue
“Hi Owen!” Lisa said brightly as she reached him at the weights bench where he was sitting. “You’re looking good. That technique I showed you seems to be paying off.”
“Yeah. Thanks for the tip.” Owen smiled. “How’s the training coming? When will you be certified?
“Sometime at the end of the month, I hope,” she said brightly.
She sat down beside him on the bench and took a swig from her water bottle. Owen looked her over as she was drinking and tried to appreciate her attractiveness. She was a very pretty girl. Her blonde hair was never out of place and had a golden, healthy shine. Her smile was sweet and her laugh was growing on Owen the more time he spent around her. Even though she wasn’t Anaya, she was a good person and beautiful. Owen knew that it was time to stop putting off asking her out. Anaya wasn’t interested and Lisa very clearly was.
“Hey, Lisa?” Owen began.
Lisa’s eyes widened with expectation and she sat forward hopefully. “Yes?”
“I was wondering if you maybe wanted to grab a drink with me sometime?” he asked her. He felt relief flood over him as soon as the words were out of his mouth. He’d been trying to work up the courage to invest his attentions in someone new for weeks now, and every time he’d seen Lisa working out nearby, he’d considered going and making a move, but today was the first day that he’d actually been able to get his lips to move.
“Sure!” Lisa replied brightly, letting out one of her lengthy giggles. “Let me give you my number.”
The athletic blonde reached into her gym bag and scribbled her cell number onto the back of a gym timetable and handed it to him.
“I was starting to think that you’d never ask,” she laughed.
“Sorry,” Owen apologized shyly. “I guess it took me a while to pick up on the signals.”
“That’s all right,” Lisa replied. “I’ll look forward to you calling.”
Just like that, the hard part was over and Owen had successfully asked a woman on a date. He told himself that it was a good thing to be moving on and he hoped that time with Lisa would help push Anaya and that night to the back of his mind. He didn’t think he could bear to spend another day in the land of “what if?” and was ready to step into a new phase of his life which wasn’t full of longing and regret.
He called Lisa that evening and they arranged to meet at a local bar, which was quiet and understated. They sat together at a booth under a neon light and drank and spoke about all kinds of things. Owen was surprised to find that he had a lot in common with Lisa. They both loved to work out, which he knew, but Lisa had also grown up on a farm and had her own love for animals. They liked a lot of the same kind of music and had watched a lot of the same movies. There was a lot of common ground to make a relationship with this girl seem possible, and even though Owen felt that instant spark and passionate craving was lacking, he was hopeful that a bond would grow in time and that somehow he’d be able to feel closer to Lisa.
She certainly seemed to like him. As the night went on, she slipped out from the opposite side of the booth to sit at his side and began to flirt with him with gentle teasing and a hand, which rested occasionally on his leg. Once again, Owen was relieved to be in the company of a girl who was so easy to read. Owen didn’t have to guess at whether Lisa liked him or wanted a romantic relationship with him. She made it very clear and Owen found that there were a lot of things to like about Lisa even if she didn’t give him butterflies.
“I’m glad you asked me out tonight,” Lisa said sweetly at one point, running her thumb over the rim of her glass and looking up at Owen from under her long eyelashes. “I was starting to think that you didn’t like me.”
“Of course I like you,” Owen promised her. “I’m just not that great with women.”
“You seemed to be doing fine to me.”
“It’s not a complete disaster?” he laughed.
“No, Owen.” Lisa smiled. “You’re doing fine.”
“I can’t remember the last time I went on a real date,” Owen confessed. “After college I went on a few first dates, but since the practice opened, I haven’t really made any attempts to meet women.”
“Why not?” Lisa asked him.
“My friends tell me that I’m too idealistic,” Owen told her. “They say that you can’t expect to feel close to a woman right away. I’m a romantic, I suppose. I’m always looking for that magic spark.”
“I think there’s a potential spark here,” Lisa smiled seductively. “Don’t you?”
They spent the night together on a date that Owen felt had gone much better than he’d anticipated. The following day, he called her up to arrange their next date. This time they went out together for a winter’s jog through the park followed by hot chocolate. Owen quite enjoyed the playful run they’d had with Lisa darting ahead and teasing him into racing her. Afterwards, they went to a quiet little café for hot chocolate and Lisa told him all about her family and Christmas plans.
As much as Owen had been determined to wait for Anaya, he had to admit to himself that Anaya didn’t see him that way and that he had a real shot with Lisa of having a good relationship. She was a sweet and beautiful girl with a lot of the same interests. She was endlessly talkative, so Owen never had to worry about running out of things to say and she seemed to really like him.
The first two dates went by and then several more; before Owen knew it, him and Lisa were a couple. Once they were an item, he wondered why he had put off asking her out for so long. Sure, he didn’t quite feel comfortable enough to tell her all his secrets the way he did with Anaya, and she didn’t make him laugh quite as hard. And even though she was beautiful, she didn’t make him weak at the knees in quite the same way, but she was good company and they soon built their own routine together with plenty of jogs in the park and hikes and cycle rides.
“I can’t believe it took us so long to get together,” Lisa told him brightly after one particularly enjoyable run in the park. “I really enjoy spending time with you.”
“I enjoy spending time with you too,” he said, meaning it.
“It’s nice to finally meet a guy who doesn’t play games,” Lisa told him sincerely. “I’ve dated other guys because they’d played it cool and piqued my interest, but it always fizzled out as soon as I realized they’re actually jerks with good lines. With you it’s different. There are no techniques, no lines. You’re just honest, and it makes it so easy to be with you.”
Owen blushed at her words and felt guilty to hear her say them, because his thoughts were still far too often on someone else, but he decided to commit to trying to move on and so he took Lisa’s hand and smiled warmly at her.
“It’s going well,” he told her.
“James was at the gym the other day,” she told him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. He was telling me about how terrible you were at talking to women in bars. I thought his stories were just so adorable. I had no idea you were so shy,” she told him. “I’m glad though. If other women knew how sweet you are, you’d have been snatched up long ago!”
Asking Lisa out had had the desired effect with Anaya, too. When his childhood friend realized that Owen hadn’t been irreparably damaged by their carelessness, she was able to relax around him once more. She was relieved to see him with another girl and seeming happy. Anaya had met Lisa and she liked her a lot. The energetic personal trainer was very sweet and laughed a lot, and Anaya thought that she was good for Owen.
Of course, the first time Owen had told her about Lisa, Anaya had been a bit taken aback because Owen had been single for so long and maybe she felt a little affronted that he hadn’t mentioned that night again, but then again, she reasoned that he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Besides, Anaya didn’t want to date Owen. The thought still seemed to strange to her. He’d been like a brother over the years, a best friend and her counselor. Owen had been all things to her and she loved him, but never romantically. She was still reeling somewhat
from the reality of their night together. It had shaken the foundations of their friendship because it had made Anaya look at Owen with new eyes and those new eyes found it a little difficult to see him laughing and holding another woman, but Anaya was careful not to let those kinds of feelings grow. She knew that she was just jealous because he’d found a nice girl to spend his time with while her relationship with Jakob was still on the rocks.
She hadn’t heard from him since her birthday when he’d stood her up. It was typical behavior for the childish physicist who had an issue with saying sorry, but Anaya knew that if she held out, he would come back to her, apologetic, and then things would be good for a few weeks while he tried to stay in her good books. In the meantime, she missed having a man around. She was seeing less of Owen now that he had a girlfriend and she had to admit that the first time that she’d called him to come over and he’d told her that he’d had plans with Lisa that she’d been a bit taken aback.
She realized that she had taken Owen for granted. Her childhood friend had simply always been there for her through every rocky relationship and break-up, through every career crisis and family drama. She had never taken second place in his life even when she’d been second place with everyone else. It made it hard for her to take a backseat now, but she knew that she couldn’t complain. She wanted to be happy for Owen just as he had always been happy for her when she’d been happy. She wondered for the first time if Owen had ever felt like he’d been second place with her. She realized that their relationship had perhaps been more take on her part than give. Still, he seemed happy now and all she could do was take a step back and be glad for him that he’d found someone else.
Still, even though she was doing alright even in Jakob’s absence, Anaya pretended that she was missing him madly, just to get Owen’s attention and to help things feel like they were as they had been before that night. She made a point of calling him up for comfort she didn’t really need.
“He hasn’t called!” Anaya lamented over the phone. “Do you think it’s over for good this time?”
“I don’t think that would be such a bad thing,” Owen said. “You guys have been having issues for years.”
“Things are always all right in the end though,” Anaya said. “It feels strange for so much time to have gone by without hearing from him at all.”
“Enjoy the peace while it lasts!”
“What about you?” Anaya pressed. She tried to phrase herself at though she were simply interested in Owen’s life and not secretly trying to gauge how serious things had gotten between him and Lisa. “How are things going with your new girl?”
“Lisa’s great,” Owen told her. “She’s so... energetic. I’m in the best shape of my life! We go running almost every morning. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.”
“You’ve been on your own for a long time,” Anaya agreed. “I’m glad she makes you happy.”
“She does,” he said half-heartedly.
While she was on her own, she began to turn her attention back to her half-finished designs. The book Owen had given her had inspired in Anaya a whole new collection. She’d barely been able to sleep from the ideas turning in her head day and night and she’d been working constantly to bring her creations to life and create a portfolio of her new designs. The patterns in the book seemed to make something click in her that she’d been waiting for and now she had no end of inspiration.
The clothes were a fusion between the vibrant colors of Africa that her mother had always worn and the sophisticated tailoring of forties fashion. The end results were beautiful, eye-catching, and mature designs that were completely Anaya. She’d never felt her own personality come through so much in her designs before and she couldn’t wait to start wearing the feminine dresses out and about.
Every time that she found herself standing in front of a mannequin making amendments or at her desk frantically getting another idea on paper, her thoughts turned with fondness to Owen and his support for her. That book had been the catalyst for a whirlwind of new productivity and only Owen could have given her the boost she needed, because only Owen paid attention to her in that way. Now that he was with Lisa and she was seeing less of him, Anaya realized just how much she missed him. Even though she was supposed to have forgotten about that night and put it behind her she found her thoughts occasionally creeping back there. The haze had lifted in the days after the event and more memories of the night had come back to her. She was surprised to find that she could only think of with fondness something that she had described as a mistake. For the first time in more than twenty years of friendship with Owen, she began to imagine what it would be like to have a romantic relationship with him. She was sure now that something like that could never be between the two of them, but the more she thought about it the more she knew that Lisa was a lucky girl.
Chapter6
As predicted, Jakob showed up at Anaya’s door two months after their latest break up, begging for forgiveness. Anaya listened to him with quiet impatience as he made his apologies. She knew that he only came back to her because no other girl was foolish enough to put up with his tantrums and ego, but then again, Anaya always waited for him to return. She knew that she was to blame for ending up in this on-again off-again relationship with a man who never made good on his promises, but Anaya simply found it so difficult to break away from him. Eight years and several truly fond memories can be hard to let go and now with Owen moving on with his life, Anaya was feeling lonelier than ever.
“Please Anaya, forgive me,” Jakob begged her that day. He stood at the doorway of her apartment with flowers and puppy dog eyes, and pleaded with her for forgiveness. “I know that what I did was wrong.”
“I’m not sure I believe that,” Anaya replied flatly. “Tell me why it was wrong.”
“I made it seem like your birthday didn’t matter and like you didn’t matter,” Jakob told her with a perfect imitation of heartfelt regret. “I put my own work above our relationship and I was too pig-headed to see why that would hurt you. I was an idiot. I’m sorry, Anaya. I was stressed with work. There was so much pressure on me with the deadline. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but I did and I’m so sorry for that. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and none of it matters without you.”
Anaya rolled her eyes. “What about next time that the pressure is on?” she challenged. “Can I expect you to be a complete jerk again then?”
“Never,” Jakob vowed. “I’m done with being that guy. Sometimes I let my ambition blind me to what I have right in front of me. You’re perfect, Anaya. You’re all I want.”
“It took you two months to apologize,” Anaya told him. “Anyone would say I was a fool if I accepted an apology now.”
“I was too proud to apologize, but I know that I was wrong now,” Jakob told her. “I had to cool off, but now I’ve had time to think about what I said and to think about what I want from life. We’ve been together eight years, Anaya. I don’t want to let go of that, do you?”
The designer hesitated. She’d told herself that there was no way in hell that she’d take him back this time, but he knew exactly what to say to make her feel like she needed him. It was like he could read her mind sometimes when he said back to her all the reasons in her own head for why she should give in yet again.
“We’re good together, babe,” Jakob insisted. “We wouldn’t have come this far if that wasn’t true. If we blow up at each other from time to time it’s just because we’re passionate. You don’t want to be with someone who has become so disenchanted with life that nothing matters to him anymore, do you? I thought you loved the ambition in me. I haven’t changed, Anaya. It’s you who wants things to slow down when I want to keep reaching.”
“I haven’t stopped reaching for anything,” Anaya snapped. “When I want to try and get my stuff out there, you tell me it’s not a real career.”
“Of course it is,” Jakob retorted. “I only said those things because I know how
much your work means to you and I know it’s a tough business to break into. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I think you’re brilliant. If you want to keep trying to be a designer then I’m going to support you all the way.”
“You’ll never think that my work is as important as yours,” Anaya told him.
“It’s important in a different way, babe,” Jakob said. “I know that it matters to you and so it matters to me. Look, can’t we give this another go?”
“I don’t believe that anything will be any different.”
“It will be, I promise,” Jakob promised her. “I just needed some time away to realize that. Things at work have cooled down now. The formula has been presented and we’re in a really strong position. I’m not stressed like I was. I’ve been able to think about how much I miss you. I take you for granted, Anaya and I know that now. I promise it won’t happen again. We’re going to go to dinner and dancing and have a great time. We’re meant to be together.”
Anaya sighed deeply and found herself accepting the flowers. She smelled their sweet scent and felt her anger dissipate a little. She knew that Jakob was good at shedding crocodile tears, but he seemed genuinely repentant. She also knew that it was probably foolish to take him back, but the alternative was to be on her own forever and Jakob was right. They had a history.
