No! All the sorrow and guilt and self-loathing I’d stuffed down inside me for the last three weeks welled up, and I started sobbing.
Rory gently squeezed my shoulder. “I know it hurts, but it will start to feel better once you get some ice and rest it.”
“You don’t understand! I have to finish the trek. I have to!” I shoved him back and lurched to my feet, needing to prove to him I could walk—but as if to spite me, my knee buckled again, and I went down.
Chapter Seventeen
Rory
The sound that Amelia made as she hit the ground was indescribable. It was agony and anger and sorrow and I didn’t know what else, and it tore through me like a knife in my guts. It was even worse than watching her fall and being unable to stop it.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her and make her pain go away.
Where the hell did that thought come from?
I helped her to sit with her back against the rock and her leg resting on her rucksack. I activated an instant cold pack and wrapped it in a bandanna before setting it gently on her knee. “Keep this on for as long as you can stand it.”
She held it in place, then looked up at me, her eyes red-rimmed and bright with tears. “Rory, please. I have to finish the trek.”
“Amelia, you can’t. There’s no way—”
“Please, you don’t understand!” Now there was desperation in her eyes in addition to everything else. She grabbed my hand. “I need to do it, for Carrie! She’s the one who should have been out here, not me, and it’s my fault that she’s… I have to do this for her, because she wanted to hike Skye more than anything, and maybe if she knows that I did, she’ll…”
She trailed off, shaking her head. Her words were almost like a stream of consciousness and nearly incoherent, but I knew that desperate helplessness. I squeezed her hand, and she looked up, startled, as if she’d forgotten I was there. “Tell me.”
“Carrie’s my best friend, the sister I never had. She’s the hiker, I’m the beach girl. This was supposed to be her dream trip—her college graduation gift from her parents—and I was supposed to meet her after for a week of sightseeing in Scotland. She’d talked about nothing else for months. And then…we were in my car, fighting about something so stupid, and I was yelling at her, which I never do, and I looked away from the road for one minute. Just one minute,” she whispered, her voice breaking. She lowered her head, a lock of hair falling into her face.
Dread settled in the pit of my stomach like a rock. As if of its own accord, my hand reached out and lifted her chin. Tears streamed down her face, and she looked so damn lost. I tucked the lock of hair behind her ear.
“What happened, Amelia?”
Her lip quivered. “I didn’t see the stop sign. And the truck—he didn’t have a stop sign, and he couldn’t swerve in time. He slammed right into her side of the car.”
Oh no. “Is she…?”
“Broken femur, broken ribs, broken arm,” she recited. “And she’s in a c-coma. They don’t know… It was my fault, and I walked away without a scratch. And she might…”
Die. She didn’t need to finish the sentence.
Suddenly it all made sense—the endless photographs and videos in which she’d said “I love you and I miss you” into the microphone. That call where she’d said she should have been there, not thousands of miles from home. Her lack of preparation for the hike. And her need to go up Ben Tianavaig today.
She’d taken it upon herself to do the hike for her friend, even though she’d never done something like this before. And I’d made that comment about her taking pictures. I should have known there was more to it than that.
I knew what she was feeling—guilt, sorrow, worry, fear, self-loathing—I knew all of it. And my heart broke for her.
“I thought if I took her place on the trek and experienced it for her—took a million photos and described everything in detail, I could somehow get her to wake up. I call her mom when I can, and she holds the phone to Carrie’s ear. But it hasn’t worked. I mean, rationally I know I can’t make her wake up, but still…” Her breath hitched in her throat. “And now, because of my stupid knee, I can’t finish the hike, can’t go home and tell Carrie—”
“I’ll help you finish.” The words were out of my mouth before I thought them through. But I didn’t regret them.
Her mouth dropped open. “What?” she whispered. Her eyes shot up to mine, and the light of hope that suddenly appeared in them sent a feeling of warmth—of rightness—through me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe not ever.
“I’ll help you finish the trek,” I repeated. “If you trust me to.”
Her brow crinkled. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I haven’t exactly been at my best this week,” I muttered, my face growing warm. Freaking out on Tommy, the nightmare, the kiss. The way I couldn’t keep from shouting at her. “I could tell you until hell freezes over that you’re safe with me, that I’m damn good at what I do and that I’ll get you to the end of the trail no matter how long it takes, but—”
Her fingers wrapped around mine, and I looked into her velvet-brown eyes. “I trust you. Please don’t take back your offer. It would mean everything to me if you could help me finish the trek.”
I searched her face for any sign of uncertainty. If she didn’t trust me, this would never work. But her eyes were clear, her gaze steady on mine.
“I’m not going to take it back. But you have to follow my directions without question. If I say we need to stop so you can rest your knee, then we stop. If I say that we can’t go on due to the conditions, or because your injury is too severe, you have to accept that. Can you handle doing what I tell you to do, without argument?”
She blushed, her lips curving in a sheepish smile. “I mean, I can’t promise not to argue a little bit. But I trust that you’re the expert, and I will follow your directions.”
“Good enough.” Even after witnessing my meltdown and then the weird aftermath of my nightmare, she trusted me. Maybe it was because she was desperate, but she was a smart woman. If she was afraid that I would somehow endanger her, she wouldn’t have agreed.
And I couldn’t deny that there was a small part of me that looked forward to arguing with her. I wasn’t sure what that said about me.
“Rory, can I speak to you for a minute?” Tommy sounded…un-Tommy-like. He turned and walked a few feet away, but not before I saw the look on his face. It was one I hadn’t seen in a very long time.
“I’ll be right back. You should eat something in the meantime.”
“I will.”
I pushed to my feet and joined Tommy. “Are you mental?” he asked without preamble. “She can barely walk. We can’t ask the rest of the paying clients to go at a snail’s pace.”
“I wasn’t planning to.”
“Then what…?”
“You’re going to take the group on ahead, and I’ll stay behind with Amelia and help her do the rest of the trek.”
His mouth dropped open, and then he snapped it shut. “You know Scarlet’s rules. Two guides for the Skye Trail.”
“I know. Which is why I’m going to call her and ask her to take my place.”
“And if she says no?”
“Then I’ll quit, and she’ll have to come anyway.”
He stared at me. “What the hell is the matter with you? This morning you could barely look at the lass, and now you’re risking your fucking job to help her on a whim?”
“It’s not a whim. Her best friend—practically her sister, who was supposed to do the trek, is in a coma, because of an accident that Amelia blames herself for.” Tommy closed his eyes briefly, then reopened them, his expression sad—and understanding. “She’s been taking the damn pictures for her friend, while all this time I thought she was just another social media addict obsessed with how many likes she got on Instagram. Now do you get why she has to finish—and why I have to be the one to help her?”
He nodded. “I do get it. B
ut…” He broke off and looked down, then back up again, his eyes troubled. “Will you be all right? I know it’s been…a tough few days.”
Anger rose up inside me, but just as quickly dissipated. I could never be mad at Tommy for speaking his mind. We’d been through too much together.
“Aye, it has been a tough few days. But she trusts me to get her to the end, Tommy. I need to do this, just as much as Amelia does—maybe even more. Do you understand?”
“I do,” he said solemnly. “You’ll be careful out there?”
“Always.”
And just like that, the argument was over.
I grabbed my phone and walked away from the group, not wanting anyone to overhear my certain-to-be-ugly call with Scarlet. At least, being near the village, I could get decent reception on my mobile.
She answered on the first ring. “Rory, what’s wrong? Where are you?”
“Camustianavaig. Amelia’s hurt. It’s her knee.”
“What happened?”
“She jammed her foot on the descent from Ben Tianavaig. I’m pretty sure she sprained something.”
“Shit. Okay, I’m getting in the van now, and I’ll be there in—”
“Wait, Scarlet. I have to ask you a favor.”
“You can ask me while I’m driving. I don’t want to delay the group any more than they already are.”
“I need you to listen to me first.”
“Make it quick,” she said. I knew her brusque tone wasn’t directed at me—yet; it was because she prided herself on an excellent track record, with a 95 percent success rate of her trekkers finishing without incident.
“I need you to take my place as guide.” Silence. I hurried to continue. “Amelia needs to finish the trek, and I’m going to help her.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. Listen, there are reasons—”
“Sutherland, I couldn’t care less about her reasons. And frankly, I’m stunned that you would even suggest this after everything that happened with Emma.”
I was glad she couldn’t see my face flush. “I’m not—that’s not why.”
“Then why the hell are you even wasting my time with this?”
“Because I know exactly what she’s going through!” I told her what Amelia had shared with me about Carrie. “The helplessness, the guilt—I know what it’s doing to her, and I have to help her, Scar.” Scarlet knew about my past. I couldn’t in good conscience let her hire me without telling her about it. She’d put me through a pretty strict trial period, observing me on the Skye Trail and other trails more than once over a period of several months before she officially hired me. And it had never come up since the day I told her.
More silence. Then, “And if I say no?”
“Then I’ll quit, and you’ll have no choice. But I don’t want it to come to that. You owe me one, Scarlet. I’ve given my life to SBF for the last three years, rushed to fill in on more than one trek at the drop of a hat without a moment’s hesitation. And I’ve never asked you for anything in return. I’m asking now.”
“You’re putting me in a terrible position, Rory. You know I’m already struggling to keep up with coordinating the treks and managing the bookings these past few months. It’s not easy for me to drop everything to go out on the trail.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
She sighed. “I need an hour or so to get my gear together and take care of a few things. I’ll drive to Broadford and leave the van at the end of the trail, and I’ll ring Eddie to drive me back up the road to Sligachan. I’ll meet the group along the way as soon as I can. But Rory, how are you going to manage?”
“We’ll take it as slowly as we have to, and make camp when she can’t go any farther. We’ll stop near Camustianavaig tonight so she can rest her knee, and set out in the morning.”
“They’re expecting rain for tomorrow, so take care on the crossings before Sligachan, okay?”
“I will.”
“And don’t be any more foolish than you’re already being. If you need help, call me.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Oh, and Rory?”
“Yeah?”
“If this goes badly, you’ll be putting SBF and my career at risk. I’m agreeing to this against my better judgment because I trust your judgment. Don’t make me regret trusting you, and don’t ask me to do something like this again. Next time, I’ll let you quit.” She disconnected the call before I could reply.
I started back to the group, feeling like I’d just been called before the headmaster. Tommy met me halfway. “So, do you still have a job?” His tone was casual, but his eyes were worried.
“For now. Scarlet wasn’t happy, but she agreed to take my place.”
Tommy grinned, his relief evident. “How’d you manage that? She would have sacked my ass for even suggesting it.”
“Oh, I’m on the shit list, trust me. Listen, she wants you to get back on the trail with the group. She’ll leave the van in Broadford and meet you on the way to Sligachan.”
We walked over to the group to tell them the news. I knew they were surprised that we were even considering letting Amelia continue, even more so that I was going to help her do it, but no one said anything…at least not to me.
I returned to Amelia. “Are you positive that you want to continue? There’s still time for you to change your mind. I can call Scarlet back and have her come get you.”
“I’m sure—if you’re sure.”
“Let’s do this, then.”
Tommy handed me two fuel canisters for the camp stove. “Take these, in case you end up wild camping more than you anticipate. Scarlet will have extras.”
“Thanks.” I placed them on the ground beside my pack.
“You have food, chlorine tablets for water?” I nodded. “And you have your map, right?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I do. But you know I know the way, right? I have done this before. We’ll be fine.”
“I know you will. Just…don’t be a hero, okay? If the weather looks dodgy, be smart about it. After the Sligachan Hotel, there’s no shelter till the bothy at Camasunary. If it rains, the burns might flood, and crossing them will be difficult for Amelia. And if it rains hard, there’ll be erosion on the cliff trail to Elgol. You’ll have to—”
“Tommy, I know. Believe me, I’m not going to put her in danger. If it gets that bad, I’ll suggest we quit.” Though she likely wouldn’t listen to that advice.
“Don’t put yourself in danger, either.”
“Tommy.”
“I know, I’m being a worried mother hen. I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ll get the lass safely and triumphantly to the end of the infamous Skye Trail, and win her heart in the process,” he added with a grin.
What? “Where the hell did that come from?”
“Just keep an open mind, that’s all I’m saying.”
An image came into my head of Amelia and me, our bodies entwined, our hands all over each other, her crying out my name as she… No, I couldn’t go there.
“Get outta here, you numpty,” I said, my face hot.
We returned to the others, who were saying goodbye to Amelia. She hugged everyone, leaning heavily on one pole, her mouth tight with pain. Then she turned to Tommy.
“Thank you for everything,” she said. He wrapped his arms around her and then whispered something in her ear that made her eyes go wide and her face turn red. What was that about? Then he kissed her cheek and stepped back.
“Look after this guy, okay?”
“I’m pretty sure it’ll be the other way around.” She glanced at me. “As you’ve seen, I’m pretty helpless.”
“Don’t say that, lass. You’re not helpless, you just got hurt. It can happen to anyone.”
He turned to me next, pulling me into a bear hug, then scruffed up my hair like we were kids again, grinning when I smoothed it back into place. “You need anything, you call, okay? And be careful out there.”
“I will.
Don’t worry.”
His eyes searched my face. “I do worry about you, Rory.” He clasped my shoulder and then looked at Amelia. “Be nice to each other, okay? Catch ya on the flip side.”
He shouldered his pack and trudged off with the others, stopping at the road to wave. We watched in silence as they disappeared from sight.
And then I was alone with Amelia. Who I’d argued with since the first day. Who I’d kissed while coming out of a nightmare and had wanted to kiss every moment since then. Who had sprained her knee and insisted on completing the Skye Trail anyway.
It was likely I was about to make the second biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter Eighteen
Amelia
I watched the group vanish from view, wiping away a few (more) tears. I’d gotten pretty choked up when I’d said goodbye to them, particularly to Molly, Megan, Pat, and Linda, whom I’d become strangely close to in the few short days I’d known them. Would I ever see them again? Probably not—they all lived in the UK, and though we’d all promised to email each other, it wasn’t the same. Though Megan’s parting words had been “Have fun alone on the trail with Rory. Do us all proud,” which had made me laugh in spite of my tears.
I sank onto the boulder, grateful to get off my feet, dreading the rest of the day.
I could barely walk, yet I somehow thought I could complete this trail.
Not to mention that Rory was clearly dealing with some kind of PTSD that caused him to freak out on his best friend and have terrible nightmares.
Was I insane to even think about being alone on the trail with Rory, who may or may not be unstable?
No. He wasn’t unstable. If he was, he wouldn’t be working for Scotland By Foot. Scarlet seemed too on the ball to have a guide who might be a danger to the clients. And Tommy wouldn’t have let him stay behind with me. If I knew one thing about Rory, it was that Tommy loved him like a brother and trusted him with his life. That was obvious enough, even though I’d only known them a few days.
Why had he offered to help me, when we could barely spend two civil minutes together? It obviously had to do with what I told him about Carrie. Or was it something else entirely?
Under a Storm-Swept Sky Page 10
