As he watched she slowly licked her bottom lip. ‘I guess...’ It came out like a whisper. ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever really experienced that. I’m not sure that I’ll ever lose my heart to someone.’ She gave a forced laugh. ‘Anyway, we all know how important a heart is. It’s too important an organ to lose.’
Giovanni took another step and laid his hands on his side of the trolley. She was trying to make light of those last words, but they hadn’t gone unnoticed. He could ask more questions, but it probably wasn’t the right time or the right place. So he took the easy way out. ‘Then it sounds like you were right.’
Her head tilted slightly to the side. ‘Right?’
‘To walk away. Part as friends.’
She blinked. ‘Of course. I’ll always be his friend.’
Something lanced into Giovanni’s heart. Friends. He hadn’t told Autumn—or anyone—the truth about himself and Anna. Only a few short months after their daughter’s arrival they’d been far from friends. The day she died she’d just launched a tirade at him before heading out on her scooter to go to work.
He’d told her she was still officially on leave. He’d been worried about her mental health after the birth of their daughter. A friend had been due to visit in a few days and assess her. Her behaviour had become, on occasion, increasingly erratic, with her flaring up out of nowhere. Other times she was calm and happy, but also a little restless.
Anna had always been like a butterfly, beating her wings against a window in a fight to get free. In the end, the last thing they’d been was friends, but he’d never shared that with anyone. Now, he was envious of the sad look in Autumn’s eyes. She was sincere. She had genuinely parted from her ex as friends, and clearly wished him the best.
Her warm hand touched his arm. ‘Giovanni? Are you okay?’
He jerked and looked up, putting a smile on his face. ‘Oh, yes—sorry. Lost in my thoughts for a second.’
Her voice was soft. ‘Thoughts about surgery, or thoughts about something else?’
Those green eyes were staring straight at him. She knew he hadn’t been thinking about surgery and she was giving him an opening if he wanted it. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t share. Autumn was still almost a stranger, even though she didn’t really feel like that.
He kept the smile on his face, knowing exactly how frozen it looked. Her gaze was steady. Almost as if she were peeling back his layers to see exactly what was there.
He looked downwards at the model of the babies beneath them. There was so much work to do. So little preparation time. He couldn’t allow his thoughts to wander elsewhere. They both had a duty and a responsibility to Hope and Grace.
He cleared his throat loudly. ‘I think we should get to work.’
If Autumn was offended by his change in tone and conversation she was professional enough not to let it show. ‘Of course.’
* * *
She could feel the awkwardness in the air, but refused to acknowledge it or let it put her off her game. She was here to do a job.
They’d spent the last four hours talking technique as they worked. The surgical instruments they were using were understandably tiny. Steady hands were crucial. As was correct positioning. In an ideal world, they would be working on opposite sides. But surgery like this was never ideal.
‘I need access to the renal vein,’ she said in a low voice, as Giovanni worked on the side across from her. His dark eyes looked up. ‘Come on over,’ he said, clearly concentrating on what he was doing.
Autumn nodded and moved around. His large frame was bent over the models. His muscular arms held them in place. She dodged behind him, trying to find the best way to gain access.
‘Problem?’
She hesitated. ‘I may need to get a little closer.’
‘Fine by me,’ was the quick reply.
Her heart skipped a beat as she brushed up against his thin scrubs before ducking down and coming up between his arms. Her back was tight against his chest. One of her arms was intertwined with his, the other almost parallel. She shifted again, to allow her the optimum position to gain the access she would require.
She could feel the heat of his entire body, every bump, every ridge, against her spine.
Giovanni let out a low laugh. She felt his chest reverberate against her back.
‘Sorry,’ she whispered as she moved her hands delicately. ‘But this is the only way to get access.’
His breath was at her neck and she knew he was watching her actions over her shoulder. ‘It’s a little up close and personal,’ he whispered. ‘But in the name of surgery I think we can sacrifice some personal space.’
There was laughter in his words and it made her tense muscles relax a little. With precision surgery there would always be an amount of tension. That was good. But too much tension could cause cramps and other problems. Truth was, this felt better than it should.
She didn’t want to think about what she’d revealed earlier, and she hoped he hadn’t picked up on it. The only person who’d caused her heart to race was this guy, the man she’d met just over a week ago.
She pushed back against him as she optimised her position in order to carry out the procedure she needed to.
He gave a little grunt and her stomach muscles clenched. Okay, this was maybe a bit too personal. She tilted her head, focusing, ignoring the rise and fall of the chest behind her. Another tiny clip and a positioning movement, to ensure the safety of the vein prior to separation... There—finally, she’d got it.
‘Perfect.’
His voice was in her ear as she breathed a sigh of relief. Her muscles relaxed and she sagged back against him for a second.
‘Wow,’ she said.
But Giovanni didn’t move. His hands remained entirely steady, locked in place to enable him to carry out the next part of the procedure once she was finished.
It took Autumn a few moments to realise what she was doing. She was comfortable leaning into him, feeling the heat of him through their thin scrubs and the relief of the procedure being over.
Then her brain kicked into gear. She gave a nervous laugh. ‘Guess I’d better move,’ she whispered as she ducked down through his arms. Her head ran along the length of his thigh. He gave a cough and she flinched away, continuing to laugh nervously.
It felt strangely sad to move away from him. Which was ridiculous. She’d only known him for a week.
She watched without talking as Giovanni finished his part of the procedure, then straightened up, stretching his back and taking a deep breath.
As he pulled his head straight again, he gave her a wide grin, a hint of amusement in his eyes. ‘I guess we’d better get used to that.’
‘What?’ she asked, praying her face wasn’t as flushed as it felt.
‘Getting up close and personal,’ he quipped, his accent seeming a little thicker than normal. ‘We might end up in all sorts of positions.’ He paused for a moment, as her face definitely did a full flush, then added, ‘In order to complete the surgery.’
One eyebrow gave the tiniest arch as he finished the last words. Deliberate. He’d done that deliberately. She didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or throw something. So she pulled her cap from her head and shook out her hair, letting it cover her face momentarily.
It was hot in here. Too hot. Did the air-conditioning need turning up, or was it just her?
Through her hair she looked down at the model again, trying her best to concentrate on the matter at hand. But it was hard. Her head was still swimming at the feel of Giovanni at her back, the sensation of his breath on the back of her neck, and the effect his voice had had on her.
She didn’t do this. Not ever. She’d never experienced such an intense reaction to someone before and it all seemed so wrong. She was here to focus on two little girls.
‘Let’s do lunch,’ said Giovanni, hi
s words cutting through her thoughts.
Her mind went instantly to the nice dim restaurant he’d taken her to the time before. That was so not what she needed right now.
‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea.’ The words came out before she had much time to think. She knew immediately they didn’t sound quite right.
He stared at her, all humour lost. ‘In the hospital canteen,’ he said steadily, ‘with a few of our potential colleagues for our teams. Let’s brief them on how our first practice surgery went this morning, and how we would like to proceed.’
Embarrassment washed over her. He hadn’t meant the two of them, specifically. Oh, no. His voice had a clipped edge, as if he were spelling things out to her exactly.
Giovanni had been welcoming and friendly when she’d arrived. Of course he had. Any surgeon would be. It was natural to pull out all the stops to entice another surgeon to stay if you wanted them to work alongside the team.
But she’d read too much into it.
She pulled her hair back. ‘Of...of course. Of course. Give me ten minutes to freshen up. I’ll meet you there.’
She was out through the door like a flash, her legs taking her rapidly down to the locker room. She flung open the door and leaned against the wall, her cap clutched in her hand. Within a few seconds she leaned over with her hands on her knees, groaning.
‘Something up?’ said an easy voice from the corner.
Darn it. She’d thought she was alone. Autumn snapped her head back up, ready to make some random excuses. But then her brain kicked in. The voice had spoken in English—not Italian. Lizzy Beckley was pulling on a pair of socks, sitting on a bench near the back of the room.
Autumn’s shoulders sagged in relief. She tried to find words, but Lizzy gave her a knowing smile. ‘That’s the face of a woman who’s been annoyed by an Italian man.’
Autumn took a few steps and sat down on the bench opposite her. ‘You recognise it?’
They’d only met a few times, and had never had a chance to catch up properly, but she’d got a definite vibe of something weird between Lizzy and her Italian colleague Leon. What was more, it didn’t seem to be on a professional basis...it seemed much more personal. From her rounded stomach, it looked as if Lizzy was pregnant, but Autumn didn’t like to ask too many questions.
Lizzy nodded as she pushed her feet into her shoes. ‘Oh, I know it well.’
She gave a little sigh as she picked up her bag and stood up. ‘How about we talk some time? Is next week okay? I think us girls have to stick together.’
Autumn nodded. ‘That would be perfect.’
She felt a wash of instant relief. They might not know each other well, but that recognition from another female who was likely in a similar position to herself was more than a bit welcome right now.
Lizzy put her hand on Autumn’s shoulder as she walked past. ‘We’ll arrange a coffee next week. Hopefully away from this place.’
Autumn gave a grateful nod. Her eyes fell again to Lizzy’s stomach as she watched her walk to the door, and Lizzy gave a little nod and rested her hands on her abdomen.
‘How are you doing?’ asked Autumn, keeping her words light and hoping they didn’t sound intrusive.
‘Eating for two.’ Lizzy winked at her as she elbowed the door and walked out.
Interesting... The jungle drums were already talking about Leon and Lizzy. But Lizzy seemed remarkably cool about everything. How on earth was she feeling?
Autumn shook her head as she stood up again and pulled her scrubs from her body. She was slightly sticky, so she pulled her hair up on her head, grabbed new scrubs and headed to the staff showers. All the while wondering if Lizzy was as freaked out at the thought of having a child as Autumn knew she would be.
* * *
Giovanni wasn’t entirely sure what he’d done wrong. Yes, they’d been up close and very personal. But, whilst it might not have been ideal, this type of surgery always carried that risk. Last time around, he and a male colleague had practically been breathing the same air in their attempt to position themselves appropriately for the sake of the separation surgery—and that one had been much less complicated than this.
Maybe it had been so long since he’d been that close to a woman that his senses were entirely off, but he could have sworn that when she’d finished her procedure Autumn had leant back into him, comfortably, for a few moments. She’d appeared relaxed, easy...but maybe she’d just been exhausted?
When he’d invited her for lunch it had been clear she’d got the wrong message, and that had confused him again. She’d turned him down flat. And he might have been a little stung, and countered by being too direct with his clarification.
It wasn’t as if the thought of lunch with Autumn hadn’t entered his mind. Just not quite in the way she’d interpreted.
He wasn’t sure what to do next to put any of this right.
Autumn was gorgeous. She was also from another country and would go right back there when her surgeries were complete.
He had a little girl to think of. No matter how attracted he might be to any woman, Sofia had to come first. Always.
The truth was he would take Autumn out in a heartbeat. It had been a long time since he’d had this kind of a reaction to a woman. Not even with his wife.
He had always played his cards close to his chest. His relationship with Anna had been rocky. They’d already decided to go their separate ways when Anna had announced she was pregnant. They’d reached an agreement to give their marriage another chance, and he’d marvelled as his wife’s body had bloomed in pregnancy. He’d wondered if having a child would make Anna feel more settled. But it had become clear shortly after Sofia was born that she didn’t.
It hadn’t been any great surprise to Giovanni. His heart had already told him that was how she felt. Oh, Anna had loved their child. She’d doted on Sofia. But she’d struggled with being a mother. She’d wanted to return to work before her maternity leave was over. Not that Giovanni had minded.
He’d never told anyone they’d already had discussions about formally separating and sharing access to Sofia. Anna had worked in the same hospital and Giovanni would never have spoken ill of his wife. Even though Sofia was too young to remember her, Giovanni had always made sure that every memory he repeated of Anna was good. Sofia even had a large photo on her chest of drawers, of Anna, beaming with happiness, holding baby Sofia in her arms.
He liked that photograph. It held happy memories. And those were the ones he preferred to keep, rather than memories of the exasperation that Anna had clearly felt when they’d fought. She’d told him she felt like a trapped bird. And he, in turn, had told her to spread her wings and fly. Their marriage had never been supposed to be a trap—for either of them—and if Anna hadn’t been killed in the accident he was sure they would have managed to part in a fairly amicable way.
Instead he’d been left widowed, a single dad shrouded with doubts. Accidents were rife in Rome. But part of him had always wondered if Anna had been gripped by a moment of madness and thought of another escape.
It was ridiculous. And he knew it. She’d never expressed any suicidal tendencies. But late at night, when sleep was far from him, Giovanni’s mind sometimes wandered into scary places. It might just be that he was avoiding the huge amount of guilt he felt about their parting words and their harsh argument. That had stayed with him—the fact that the last words between them had been in anger.
So, having a strong attraction to someone new was more than a little unexpected. Of course, he’d flirted, and occasionally dated over the last year or so. But no one had made his heart skip a few beats. Not even one. Until now.
He sighed and headed down to the hospital canteen, grabbing some food before joining a table with three other staff members. He could see the gleam in their eyes—all of them filled with hope that they would join one of the teams.
They were hungry for it, and that made him glad. Hunger was what he looked for. Only the best would be allowed on his team. But first and foremost they had to really, really want it.
He didn’t mind the reasons. To be part of precision surgery, for research, for the prestige of being part of a separation, or simply pure and utter passion for the project. Just as long as they had that passion.
He gave an easy smile and joined in their chat, only to be instantly distracted by the sight of Autumn walking through the doors. Her dark hair was slightly damp and piled above her head, and she was wearing a fresh pair of burgundy scrubs. She grabbed a sandwich and headed towards their table.
He could see the tiniest flash of hesitation in her face, and it made him sad, but Autumn sat down with ease, joining in the conversation at the table in a mixture of English and stumbling Italian. Her shoulders were tense and it took a little time for them to ease.
He kept on eating, nodding slowly and joining in. He was determined not to allow any of the others to pick up on any discord between them. Even he wasn’t entirely sure if it was there or not. Maybe it was all just in his head and he was reading more into things than he should? Maybe parts of his brain were sparking back to life after slumbering for too long? But the truth was the other three were too busy trying to impress to pick up anything.
A few other people joined the table, one bringing coffee for both Autumn and Giovanni in a shameless ploy. Another brought a tray of donuts for the whole table. This doctor winked at the others and shrugged his shoulders at his colleague with the coffee. ‘Hey, I didn’t want to make it too obvious I’m trying to buy affection here. So I just bought for everyone.’
The rest of the people at the table laughed. All of them knew there was only one thing on their minds. The surgeries.
Giovanni watched Autumn. She was deep in conversation with the fellow surgeon sitting next to her. It was interesting to observe—particularly as he was a surgeon he’d planned to include in his own team, and Autumn had teased him about poaching.
As their conversation continued Giovanni shifted in his chair, wondering if it would be childish to interrupt. But before the thought could progress any further Autumn turned and gave him a stare that was a cross between haughty and challenging. His coffee slid down his throat the wrong way and he half coughed, half choked.
Reawakened by the Italian Surgeon Page 6
