‘How so?’
She sipped her wine again. ‘I guess that some of their controlling behaviour rubbed off on me. I didn’t actually realise that for a long time—probably only when one of the girls I shared a flat with at medical school had a chat with me about my rules, my lists, and my own controlling behaviour.’
He nodded. ‘But you’re a surgeon. All of us have an element of control. We have to. When things happen in Theatre, control can be the most important element.’ He met her gaze. ‘It can save lives.’
She nodded and gave him a grateful smile. ‘I know. I get that.’
‘And your brother? Does he feel the same as you?’
She shook her head and her mouth curved upwards into a smile, her shoulders relaxing again. ‘Oh, Ryan is entirely normal. Not like me at all. My parents’ attitude gave him the remarkable determination to succeed at everything he does, but to do it in a completely different way.’
‘That seems to have worked out well for him then,’ Giovanni remarked. He gave her a sideways grin. ‘Do you think he’d still hit me with a stick if I gave you a daisy chain?’
He was trying to read her. He was clocking up all the things she’d said. All the little reveals. But he didn’t want to push too far. She’d already told him more than he’d expected her to. Autumn struck him as a bit like himself. She let the world see what she wanted it to see. Other parts of herself she kept locked inside.
After those few moments of tension she now seemed relaxed and comfortable around him, and happy to be close. He could feel the air sparking between them. But maybe it was just the surroundings and atmosphere. He’d hate to misread the situation.
She turned her head towards his, their noses only inches apart. ‘Ryan has learned over the years to respect my choices.’ She raised her eyebrows. ‘Not that he always likes them—and it doesn’t take him long to tell me when that happens.’
‘What do you do when he does?’
His voice was barely a whisper. He could smell her shampoo, her perfume, her skin. They were that close. A tiny little flake of her mascara had smudged right in the corner of one eye. His fingers itched to reach out and touch it.
She moved again, a soft smile on her lips, her nose brushing against his. ‘I tell him again,’ she whispered, ‘to respect my choices.’
Their lips brushed together, and without even looking Giovanni deposited his wine glass back on the table, freeing up one hand to cup her cheek and letting the other reach around her waist.
Her body shifted towards his and her breasts pressed against his chest. This was no crazy X-rated kiss. This was slow. Deliberate. Meaningful.
He doubted the other people on the rooftop would even notice. But Giovanni noticed. He noticed every second of it. The taste of her, the feel of her... The warm skin under his fingers as her top moved a little. The way her hair slid through his hand as he moved it from her soft cheek to the back of her head.
She didn’t seem to mind the way his beard must be brushing against her cheek. In fact, her hand came around and she raked her nails through the short stubble. But after the longest moment she pulled back and pressed her forehead against his. ‘Wow...’ she breathed.
‘Wow,’ he agreed, staying exactly where he was.
They remained that way for the next few minutes, and then he felt a cold surface next to his arm. He gave the smallest flinch and looked down.
‘Sorry...’ Her laugh sounded nervous. Her wine glass had remained in her other hand.
Their heads parted and she sagged back against the cushions. The glass was at her lips a moment later and she took a drink, then let out a long slow breath.
Giovanni lifted his own glass, allowing the cool liquid to slide down his throat. What he really needed right now was an ice bucket over his head. Every sense in his body was currently on fire. The heat around them was nothing to the heat between them.
She still looked a little stunned.
‘So...’ he said gently.
Autumn licked her lips. ‘So,’ she said carefully, ‘I usually don’t mix business with pleasure.’
It was like a nail to the heart.
‘You’ve never dated anyone you’ve worked with?’ he asked.
She shook her head. ‘Yes and no.’ She glanced around, looking for the waiter. ‘Do you think we could order some food? This wine is making me light-headed.’
He might have been offended. But she had a gleam in her eye. As if she knew how that had sounded.
He gestured to the waiter and rattled off the names of a variety of small dishes that he knew would arrive quickly, along with a bottle of sparkling water.
Autumn paused until the waiter had left and then continued. ‘What I mean is, although I’ve dated colleagues, they’ve never actually been on my team—in my speciality.’
His hand reached up and he ran one finger down her soft cheek, finishing in her hair and winding a finger around one of her locks. ‘But I’m not in your team,’ he said hoarsely.
She took another deep breath and smiled again, her own hand coming up and her fingertips running along his jawline. ‘No,’ she breathed, ‘you’re not.’
And before he had time to say anything else her lips connected with his again.
* * *
She honestly felt dizzy. Her brain was firing conflicting messages at her.
He’s your workmate.
He’s the sexiest man you’ve ever met.
Go with your gut.
He has a child.
She was acting on instinct and not listening to the part of her brain that was screaming Proceed with caution. Waiting... She felt as if she had been waiting for this moment all her life. To have a guy who took her breath away sitting next to her, to have a perfect setting, to be in the perfect moment, and for said guy to be looking at her as if she was the most desirable person on the planet.
She’d just ticked every box.
Moments like this didn’t happen often. His words had struck a chord with her and she’d opened up about a number of things she never normally would have. She wasn’t quite sure where those words had come from. In normal circumstances she would never have revealed those things. But Giovanni had made it easy. There had been no pressing, no judgement. Those words would always have been awkward, but they hadn’t felt uncomfortable.
There was just something about this man that made her feel different. Different from the way she’d felt in every other experience she’d had before.
From their earlier conversation, it seemed Giovanni had had his life littered with moments like this, but Autumn couldn’t remember a single one.
It must be the perfect time to start creating them.
She wasn’t going to wait another second.
This wasn’t a jump-on-each-other moment.
This was the perfect kiss, in the perfect place, with the perfect person.
She let out a little groan at the feel of his delicate touch on her skin. The taste of his lips against hers. The scent of his cologne on his skin. Her senses were on fire.
She reluctantly pulled her lips from his just as the waiter put plates of delicious-looking food down on their table, followed by some glasses and a bottle of water.
The sun was starting to dip in the sky, creating reds, oranges and purples. A few people came out onto the rooftop to appreciate the spectacular colours now framing the Colosseum.
Giovanni’s arm moved around her shoulders as they leaned forward to grab cutlery.
‘What do you think?’ he whispered softly, glancing at the skyline in front of them.
She threaded her fingers through his. ‘I like the view whichever way I’m looking,’ she answered with a smile. ‘And I think we should start the way we mean to continue,’ she added, before they kissed again.
CHAPTER SIX
THE CLINICAL TEACHING room was
packed. Multiple models had been made and every resident in the entire building was trying to find a space on either team.
Time was ticking. The in utero cardiac surgery on Hope had been completed successfully by Lizzy and Leon, and so far there had been no signs of early labour. But everyone was aware it could still happen at a moment’s notice. It was essential that Autumn and Giovanni settled on their prospective teams.
Autumn was walking around all the potential candidates, checking their skills and competencies, taking notes the whole time. She knew how much pressure they were under, and occasionally she leaned forward and gave some advice.
‘Try angling at around fifty degrees,’ or, ‘Our baby can’t move. You’ll have to move...get creative.’
She could hear Giovanni saying similar things at the other side of the room. Both of them were pacing, watching.
It was the oddest sensation. After their time on the rooftop last week, she’d called a cab and asked to be dropped at her hotel. If Giovanni had an alternative suggestion he hadn’t made it—and she’d been glad.
Only a few weeks before she’d been living with someone else. She didn’t want to jump from one man to another. And she wasn’t entirely sure how wise it was to jump to a guy who a) lived in a different country from her and b) had a child.
She hated the way that thought felt in her head. Most people she knew around her age had past histories—many that involved children. It was just something else for her to consider. Sofia had to be Giovanni’s priority and Autumn understood that. He might not have room in his life for a casual fling, and that was all she could offer him.
A child was a huge commitment. She would bet that Giovanni hadn’t introduced Sofia to any potential girlfriends in the past. But she’d already met Sofia—albeit by default. And now that adorable little girl floated into her head yet again.
Something about the way Giovanni spoke about Anna bothered her. He didn’t seem like a grieving and traumatised widower. But he did seem like a man who was a little sad and sorry. It would be nosey to ask why, and it was certainly none of her business. But Autumn couldn’t help her natural curiosity.
She also struggled with the idea of responsibility, which for a specialist surgeon she knew was completely crazy. In her career she regularly had the lives of others literally in her hands.
But in her personal life she’d tended to shy away from responsibility. She’d spent the last few years telling herself it was due to the fact that she was trying to get a work/life balance. But the truth was Autumn knew that was garbage. Maybe she was a little terrified she would end up like her parents. Consumed by work, with no room for any family that came along?
She’d never had that burn, that desire to spend every minute of every day with another human being. Maybe if she’d experienced that, things would be different now. It might help her to take the next step. Learn to take a chance and accept the possibility that there could be hurt along the way and every element of her life might not be under her control.
Her life had been generally comfortable...pleasant. Just like her life with Louis. If at some moment he’d proposed, or mentioned children, she would likely have flown into a wild panic.
Because the truth was that ‘look’ she’d seen her friends exchange at their wedding had turned something on in her brain. That was what she was supposed to experience. That was what love was about. And it completely terrified her.
The thought of being that much in love with another person, giving your whole heart to someone, with no real guarantee it would be taken care of, made her anxiety levels soar. It was such a chance to take—letting go of an element of control and trusting another person with all your emotions.
She knew it started with an immediate heart-quickening, overwhelming rush of attraction.
And that was the sensation she’d experienced with Giovanni Lombardi.
Currently nicknamed in her brain as Mr Sex on Legs.
‘Dr Fraser?’
The voice knocked her out of her thoughts. Probably just as well.
‘Yes, Daniel?’ He was a promising resident.
He gestured with his head. ‘I was thinking about the formation of the hepatic artery and if there’s a way to split it.’
She leaned forward, instantly interested. A major part of her surgery was based around reconstructing one of the major blood vessels to allow Grace’s liver to function. She’d already practised numerous ways—using the vessels already present, or trying to create a new one for Grace.
She moved alongside him and listened to his suggestions. All of them she’d already tried—but Daniel didn’t know that, and she was glad he was taking the time to concentrate on thinking out of the box for her surgery. He was just the kind of resident she liked to train and develop.
As she bent down she looked over and Giovanni caught her eye. Neither of them was wearing a mask right now, in the clinical training room. There was a half-smile on his face. He raised one eyebrow and shook his head. He’s mine, he mouthed.
No way, she mouthed back.
This had been their battle for the last few days. Both of them were picking their teams. It was, at times, like a stand-off, when they wanted a particular candidate. Autumn already had eleven on her team. A fellow surgeon, a trainee, an anaesthetist, five theatre nurses and three neonatal staff for the post-operative care of Grace.
But there were many slots on her team still to be filled. So it didn’t help that while she was contemplating all these choices her head was full of snippets of Giovanni. A joke he’d made. A look they’d exchanged. She wasn’t quite sure where their relationship was. That said, she wasn’t quite sure they even actually had a relationship.
After he’d dropped her back at the hotel the other evening, she’d spent the remaining part of the night lying in her comfortable bed with the windows flung wide to the warm night air and sleep completely evading her.
What might have happened if she’d wanted to pursue things? What would he have said if she’d invited him up to her hotel room?
Thoughts like that made her pulse race, and her stomach roll. There was always a chance that Giovanni might have refused. And, to be truthful, she was glad she hadn’t found out the answer to that potential scenario. Everything was still in her head as the perfect moment, and that was how she wanted it to stay.
But working alongside him every day was making her crazy.
Giovanni clapped his hands loudly, attracting the attention of all in the room. ‘Ricardo, Erin, David—we all have a surgery in thirty minutes. It’s time to prepare.’ He waved his arms and gave the people in the room a broad grin, his eyes meeting hers. ‘As for the rest of you—feel free to continue with your practice.’
Was there a secret message there? She didn’t think so. But she couldn’t pretend she didn’t feel a little pull of something as Giovanni left the room.
There was an air about him...a magnetism that affected every cell in her body. She caught glances from some of the staff, and shouted some more instructions to them, walking slowly around the room and advising wherever she could. Trying to keep her mind on anything but Giovanni Lombardi.
When her pager sounded, her heart missed a dozen beats.
She wasn’t on the regular staff here. She hadn’t left messages anywhere in the hospital, and nor was she waiting for any tests results. Which meant her pager would only sound if there was an issue with Hope or Grace.
The number on the screen was unrecognisable. She moved to a phone outside the training room and dialled quickly.
The voice was initially Italian, but quickly switched to English. ‘Scusi, I’m looking for Dr Lombardi. He’s not answering his pager.’
‘Dr Lombardi is in Theatre right now.’ Autumn pulled her watch from the pocket of her scrubs and looked at it. ‘He will be there for another few hours. Is there anything I can help you with?’
&nb
sp; There was a brief pause. ‘Dr Lombardi’s sister is in the emergency department with his daughter, Sofia. They’re asking for him.’
Her heart lurched. Of course she should go and get him. But Giovanni was performing a complicated follow-up surgery on a six-week-old baby with kidney problems.
Autumn took a deep breath. Instinct told her to assess the situation first. If she needed to get Giovanni, then she would.
‘I’ll deal with them,’ she said into the receiver, before replacing the phone.
The ED was busy. It took her a few minutes to locate the unfamiliar woman with Sofia.
‘Autumn!’ said Sofia in delight as she walked around the curtain.
The woman with Sofia turned her head sharply. She was tall and slim, with dark brown hair and dark eyes. To put it bluntly, she was stunning, and her gaze was wary.
‘Where is Giovanni?’ she demanded.
Autumn stuck her hands in the pockets of her white coat. She wasn’t normally intimidated, but it was strange to know that this was her first meeting with the sister of the man she’d kissed the week before.
She moved over to them, relieved that Sofia looked healthy. ‘Giovanni is currently in surgery with a six-week-old baby,’ she said softly, catching sight of a large white cotton patch on the top of Sofia’s arm. ‘Sofia, have you hurt yourself?’
Sofia nodded, looking almost proud of herself. ‘I got in a fight,’ she said.
Autumn washed her hands and sat down on a stool next to Sofia, pulling on some gloves. She kept her voice steady and tried her best not to smile.
‘The school phoned me,’ said Giovanni’s sister, who still hadn’t introduced herself. ‘Sofia injured her arm on the school fence. I thought it might need stitches.’
Autumn gave a nod. ‘Sofia, can I have a look at this?’
Reawakened by the Italian Surgeon Page 9
