Four weeks. That was how long she’d been here. And even though she knew Rome had hills, she’d never expected it to be such a rollercoaster.
She’d thrown her windows open this morning and to her delight there had been a tiny smatter of rain. It had actually reminded her of Scotland, even though the noises and smells were completely different here.
Her hand ran across the soft green dress Giovanni had bought for her, and she almost rejected it from that memory alone.
She had no idea what was wrong with him. Maybe he was still upset about Sofia’s little accident. But Sofia had appeared none the worse to Autumn. In fact, in two days’ time she should be taking out the little girl’s stitches.
But Giovanni had been distant with her. It could be anxiety. Gabrielle Bianchi had been feeling unwell yesterday—although there had been nothing wrong that anyone could find. Both of them were on edge in case the babies arrived early. But Lizzy and Leon had spent all day examining their patient, reassuring everyone that there was nothing of immediate concern, and Autumn trusted their judgement.
In fact, she was meeting Lizzy this morning, for their long-awaited coffee.
She shouldn’t be nervous, but she was a little. Lizzy had amazing credentials as a neonatal cardiac specialist. The surgery that she and Leon had performed had been essential to the survival of the girls.
Autumn froze. When had she started calling Hope and Grace that? The girls?
She made a grab and pulled the soft green dress over her head. She liked it, it was comfortable and stylish, and whether or not Giovanni had paid for it was irrelevant.
She took another quick glance around the room, looking for her bag. With its giant four-poster bed, thick carpet and curtains, it was one of the most luxurious hotel rooms she’d ever stayed in. The thought of going back to her virtually empty flat didn’t fill her with joy. She imagined her boxes, piled high in her sitting room, waiting to be unpacked.
Something twisted inside her. A sense of failure? Or a sense of loneliness?
Ever since she’d arrived in Rome and met Giovanni her head had been in turmoil. Her emotions were all over the place, and it didn’t help that everyone in the hospital gave the impression that his dead wife, Anna, had been some kind of saint. How could she live up to that?
Growing up, she’d been used to feeling emotionally isolated. For her it was learned behaviour. Could she be capable of unlearning that?
Her brain kept going back, time and time again, to those romantic moments that everyone else on the planet seemed to have had except her. She never threw caution to the wind. Especially not with her heart. And not for the first time it struck her that she might end up on her own.
As an independent woman, that shouldn’t worry her in the least—and on some points it didn’t. But on others she wanted to hope that she could share her life with someone. Have a happy-ever-after like in the movies. But would that even be a remote possibility for her? She was starting to think that she might have sabotaged previous relationships by never really letting go. Never letting herself truly love someone and be truly loved in return.
Giovanni’s face floated into her head again. That sexy smile, those deep dark eyes... She could swear her heart gave some kind of pang. She had never, ever felt like this about someone before.
That twist inside continued. She’d never wanted to let go. She’d always wanted to keep a piece of herself back. It helped with her feelings of being in control, being in charge.
But was life really all about always being in charge? Or could she trust herself to hand that piece of her heart into someone else’s hands?
She shook her head and strolled across the room, grabbing her bag before heading out. She had to stop second-guessing every thought she had. Surgery—that was what she had to focus on right now.
Autumn had actually started to enjoy her commute to the hospital and around Rome. She liked the hustle and bustle of the people—even on the packed public transport. She picked up snatches of conversation. Her Italian was slowly but surely becoming a little better. Her attempts at conversation were still—in a word her brother would use—dodgy, but her understanding was improving every day.
She smiled now, as she heard two women a little younger than she was, discussing the merits of a particular group of men. She watched a young mother juggle a baby on her lap along with a few shopping bags. And she admired a conversation between two teenagers who were clearly at the first stages of flirting.
People were living life all around her, and Autumn was struck with a wave of sadness.
What did she have in life? Sure, she had a brilliant career, some good friends and her own place. She also had her health, and she’d met enough people in this lifetime to know that, for some, that was all they would ever want. So now she felt selfish. But that didn’t stop the wave of emptiness that echoed inside her.
She’d never thought like this before. And she knew exactly why.
Giovanni.
There was something about the guy. And not just his electric kisses. The buzz in the air from that first look...
She’d never have dreamed that she’d be interested in a man with a child before. But Sofia was drawing her in. The inquisitive nature, the questions, the cheek, the heartbreaking smiles.
It wasn’t even as if anything had really happened between her and Giovanni. Not really. Just a few kisses. But the urge to be around him was strong. Stronger than she’d ever experienced before. And the pull to be around Sofia was strong too. They were a partnership—a pair—and she couldn’t think of them any other way. And that didn’t terrify her quite the way it had before.
She pulled her diary from her bag and glanced at the dates. Depending on how things went with Grace and Hope, she could be here for another three weeks. If things stayed steady, maybe another five. No one could predict when the twins would need to be delivered. There was a good chance that the surgery Lizzy and Leon had performed could result in premature labour for Gabrielle.
Autumn pushed her diary deep back inside her bag, trying not to think about how that could turn out.
She reached the café and saw Lizzy sitting inside, out of the morning sun.
‘Hey...’ She smiled as she sat down beside her.
Lizzy had three drinks in front of her. Iced water, a pot of tea, and a diet soda. She gave Autumn a smile. ‘Sorry, I couldn’t decide, and as soon as I sat down I decided not to wait.’
Autumn grinned at Lizzy’s protruding stomach. ‘How many weeks are you now?’ She looked up as the waiter approached and ordered a cappuccino and some toast.
Lizzy rubbed her belly. ‘Only twenty weeks. But I feel much bigger than I actually am. I think it’s just the heat in Rome right now. It’s killing me.’
Autumn gave a nod and went for a careful question. ‘So, how’re things with you and Leon?’
Lizzy looked at her. ‘I take it you know it’s Leon’s baby?’
Autumn nodded again. ‘I had heard that.’
‘Well, it’s true.’ There was a gleam in her eye and she leaned across the table to Autumn. ‘I’ll tell you how things are with me and Leon if you tell me what’s going on with you and Giovanni.’
Autumn sagged back in her chair and let out a brief laugh. ‘I wouldn’t know where to start.’
Lizzy took a sip of one of her drinks, tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and gave Autumn a thoughtful look. ‘Okay, then, I’ll start. I met Leon at med school in New York years ago. We were together then, and at the end I went back to Australia and he went back to Italy. We met again at a conference a few months ago and this...’ she gestured down her stomach ‘...is the result.’
‘Wow.’ Autumn knew that her eyes had widened at this succinct sum-up.
‘It’s okay,’ said Lizzy, waving her hand as the waitress arrived with Autumn’s order. ‘Go on—ask the million questio
ns that just jumped into your head.’ She bent forward and grabbed a piece of Autumn’s toast from the plate. ‘That’s as long as you don’t mind sharing with a pregnant woman.’ She gave Autumn a wink. ‘When it suits me, I’m eating for two.’
Autumn pushed the whipped butter towards her. ‘Go ahead. I’m still in shock.’
‘That’s okay.’ Lizzy smiled. ‘I tend to have that effect on people these days. Give me a moment... I can probably shock you some more.’
‘So, is Leon okay about the baby?’
Lizzy wrinkled her nose as she spread butter on the toast. ‘Here’s the thing: I’ve known him a long time. Leon never wanted kids. I knew that. And, to be honest, neither did I. This wasn’t planned in any way, but...’ She let her voice trail off for a second, as if she was deciding what to say next. ‘For me, having our baby was the only option. Still, I struggled with how I felt about it all. Then I got the invitation to take part in the surgery. I knew I couldn’t say no, and I knew it would give me a chance to be in the same room with Leon again and tell him we’d made a baby.’
Autumn shook her head in amazement. ‘You make it all sound so simple.’
Lizzy let out a deep laugh. ‘Oh, believe me, it’s anything but simple. But if I say it out loud that way it keeps all my emotions in check.’ She took a bite of her toast.
‘Do you need to keep your emotions in check?’ As soon as the words were out of her mouth Autumn regretted them. The question was too personal.
But Lizzy answered in an instant. ‘I did. But things have kind of turned around.’
She held out her hand. Autumn gave a gasp in surprise. A sparkling princess cut aquamarine with a diamond-encrusted band. It was stunning. She hadn’t even noticed. ‘You’re engaged?’
Lizzy beamed at her. ‘Told you I’d shock you again. Engaged and getting married at some point soon. It was a difficult road, but we got there. And I can’t tell you how happy I am.’ She took another bite of toast. ‘Now, enough about me—let’s give my pregnancy hormones a break. What about you? What’s going on with you and Giovanni?’
Autumn gulped down some coffee, scalding the back of her throat and choking. She was still getting over the engagement bombshell. But Lizzy did look well and truly happy.
Lizzy laughed. ‘That’ll teach you to stall.’
Heat rushed into Autumn’s cheeks. She liked this Australian woman, and it seemed that she’d got the kind of happy-ever-after that people liked to dream of. But she’d been honest. She’d said it hadn’t been easy. And that made Autumn feel more comfortable around her. It wasn’t as if there were many people to have a heart-to-heart with around here, and Lizzy was definitely her best bet. It was time to let out everything that was jumbling around in her brain.
‘I kissed him...’ she groaned.
Lizzy leaned forward again, snatching the second piece of toast. ‘Really? When?’
‘Two weeks ago. He took me shopping, then he took me to a rooftop bar that has views of the Colosseum. We kissed as the sun was setting.’
Lizzy gave a low whistle. ‘Way to knock it out of the park with the romantic movie setting.’
Autumn shook her head. ‘But since then nothing. I just don’t know what’s happening.’
‘I could have matched you there for weeks!’
Autumn laughed. ‘It’s ridiculous. I’m only here for a short spell. Once the surgery is over, I’ll head back to London. And he’s got a kid, and I’m not sure I’m the kid type.’ She put her hand over her mouth. ‘Oops.’
It was too late. She stopped talking before she got herself into more trouble.
Lizzy didn’t look hurt by the comment. She looked thoughtful. ‘Kids aren’t for everyone. I had to think long and hard about it.’ She put her hand across the table and rested it on Autumn’s. ‘And it’s fine for you to say that.’
‘But I don’t really know.’ Autumn sighed as she lowered her head onto her other hand. ‘And that’s what’s wrong. Does he even like me? Does he think of me that way? I’ve never really taken the time to consider kids in my life. And now I’ve met this dreamy guy, with eyes that just make me shudder, and a little girl who I think is great, and all I can see for myself is a whole lot of hurt.’
Lizzy pulled her hand back and folded her arms. ‘Okay... Don’t tell me you’re one of those I don’t deserve nice things kind of gals?’
Autumn gave a short laugh. ‘No, not really. I’m just scared I’ll do or say something wrong while I’m trying to work out things in my head. I think his sister already hates me.’
‘Does Sofia like you?’
‘Well, yes, I think so.’
Lizzy shrugged. ‘Well, that’s all that matters. She’s Giovanni’s world. And I can already tell that he likes you. Maybe he’s worried about some of the same kind of things that you are.’
Lizzy waved her arm and ordered more toast. And some cakes.
‘I need to talk to him,’ said Autumn softly.
‘Yes, you do,’ agreed Lizzy. ‘And I had to do exactly the same thing.’ She paused and wrinkled her nose. ‘But why is it so hard?’ She tilted her head to the side. ‘I forgot to check—how was the kiss?’
Autumn groaned again and shook her head.
‘That good? Darn it, I should have ordered even more food. We might be here for a while...’
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE GIRLS WERE at twenty-nine weeks. He’d started calling them that in his head, because Autumn was using the term more and more. It was like a term of affection. More personal than ‘the twins’. Their heart surgery had been performed three weeks ago now, and there were no signs of imminent labour.
When they talked about the girls to their teams, they used the names chosen by Gabrielle and Matteo. It was Team Hope and Team Grace.
Giovanni and Autumn had finally chosen their teams after a little bit of cat-and-mouse games. It had been fun. They’d debated over a few members. Autumn had been fair. She had a wide team, with the skill-set she needed along with younger team members who would have a chance to learn and gain from the experience. It was a good mix.
Their longest debate had been over whether a certain team member was up to the job. Autumn had delicately raised a few issues about his suitability and Giovanni’s first reaction had been to be instantly defensive of the person in question—he’d worked with him for years and liked him. It had taken him a few days to realise that Autumn was being far more objective than him. She’d seen things he’d been blind to and had excused. It wasn’t that the person couldn’t do his job, it was more that he shouldn’t be doing this job.
It seemed Autumn Fraser kept surprising him time and time again.
The clinical training room was warm. It was as if the hospital’s air-conditioning was objecting to having to work so hard. There were six different things happening at once—six teams all performing their own part of the procedure.
Tempers were fraying, and when he saw a scalpel hit a wall in frustration, Giovanni clapped his hands above his head.
‘Enough. Everyone—time out. It’s too warm. You’ve all been working extremely long hours. Unless you have immediate clinical duties, I want you to get out of here for the next few hours. We’ll start fresh tomorrow morning. Seven a.m.’
Autumn pulled her hair from the nape of her neck and stretched out her back, giving him a silent nod.
There were a few stunned faces. Glances were exchanged. But eventually the room filled with the sound of surgical gloves being snapped off and the clink of instruments being put back on trays.
Slowly but surely the tired and various levels of sweaty staff all filed out of the room.
Autumn leaned on the wall and folded her arms. ‘Should we be concerned?’
Giovanni moved across the room, pulling his surgical cap from his head. Every muscle in his body ached. ‘Should we be concerned that our staff are s
o focused on these surgeries that they’ve forgotten how to take care of themselves or each other?’
She must be tired too—although he knew she would never admit it.
‘There’s one more job still to do today,’ she said.
His brain started automatically filtering all his tasks for the patients he currently had. He never usually missed anything. ‘What is it?’ he asked, his brow creasing.
Autumn pulled her pale pink scrub top away from her chest, letting it flap for a few moments. ‘The most important thing.’ She had a smile in her eyes.
‘Tell me.’
He was getting annoyed with himself now. What he really wanted to do was pull his own scrub top entirely over his head. Watching her flap her own to let the air circulate was giving him glimpses of pale skin that were more than a little distracting.
‘Sofia. I need to take her stitches out today.’
She laughed at the expression he clearly had on his face right now. It had gone clean out of his head. His own daughter. He’d checked her dressing every day. Only cleaning and redressing when he felt it was necessary. The wound seemed to have healed well—due, of course, to the skill of the person who’d done the stitches.
Autumn’s hand went into the pocket of her scrubs. ‘She texted me. Didn’t you know that?’
‘What?’ Sofia didn’t have a phone. Which could only mean one thing...
He pulled his own phone from his pocket and scrolled down. His hand went to his head. Oh, no.
Autumn threw back her head and laughed. ‘Your face! It’s fine. I knew straight away it wasn’t you. And—to be fair—she didn’t pretend to be you.’
He read the messages quickly. His heart-rate started to slow from its panicked state. Then he got to the end and his eyebrows shot skyward.
He looked up and saw Autumn was nodding her head and smiling at him. ‘I see you’ve made me a promise. I expect you to see it through.’
Reawakened by the Italian Surgeon Page 11
