They just arrrrgh!
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a frog.
What’s wrong with that?
I’m worried I’m going to croak!
What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks!
What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad away!
What do you get if you cross a dog with a calculator?
A dog you can count on!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!
What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish!
How do fish get to school?
By octobus!
What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster!
What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I’m going out tonight!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter what you call him, he still won’t come!
What do snakes have embroidered on their bath towels?
Hiss and hers!
Why did the elephant wear pink pajamas?
Because his blue ones were in the wash!
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Because he had a hole in one!
Did you hear about the man who slept with his head under the pillow?
When he woke up he discovered the fairies had taken all his teeth!
A polar bear walks into a fish and chip shop and says, “I’ll have a cup of tea please and . . . . . . . . a large fish and chips.”
“Certainly,” says the server. “But why the large pause?”
“I dunno,” says the polar bear. “I’ve always had those.”
When Julian Clary isn’t having a silly time dressing up and telling jokes on stage, he likes to be at home with his pets. He has lots of them: dogs, cats, ducks, and chickens. His lifelong love of animals inspired him to tell a story about what would happen if they pretended to be like us. Julian also loves touring the country, reading his books aloud to children and animals alike.
David Roberts always loved to draw and paint as a child, and when he grew up his talents took him all the way to Hong Kong where he got a job making beautiful hats. But he always wanted to illustrate children’s books, and so he came back to England to work with the finest authors in the land. David loves drawing animals and clothes and hats, so what could be better than a book about animals in clothes and hats?
The Bolds on Vacation Page 10
